Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.
I hope you don't have any plans this evening.
Submitted 8 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5b1b197d-f0e9-4104-bd0c-8299fa2d45bd.png
Comments
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 8 months ago
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Better yet, if you get enough people to listen to you, start saying you’re Jesus.
totally not cult behavior
VitaminF@feddit.org 8 months ago
Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.
BambiDiego@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Maybe this in Julian calendar?!
That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!
BootyBuccaneer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
Can’t I fuck off for 246 days and repent the day of? I mean, I just bought this bag of coke and another one of oxy. D:
Zulu@lemmy.world 8 months ago
My favorite month in the dual-year. Junetobuary.
dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 8 months ago
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
DomeGuy@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
UtMan1988@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
netvor@lemmy.world 8 months ago
RTFB
frickineh@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
ceenote@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
Dave@lemmy.nz 8 months ago
19th here, I think I got left behind.
abfarid@startrek.website 8 months ago
It’s happening on the 9th of 18th month, we’ve still got some time.
Agent641@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 8 months ago
You sure everybody got raptured and you’re not just in Australia?
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 8 months ago
Party time!
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 8 months ago
Everyone is dead. Everyone except us.
socsa@piefed.social 8 months ago
Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes
dumbass@leminal.space 8 months ago
Jesus, King of the Edging!
gedaliyah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
gedaliyah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 months ago
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I also don’t want to go to work
P1k1e@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I MISSED IT!?
samus12345@lemmy.world 8 months ago
No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it’s happening in 2124.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Whew ok… Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap
MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 8 months ago
9-18-249-19-249-20-249-21-249-22-24I mean…if they keep this up they will be right eventually…right?
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Like my wife, every day for 17 years, “That tree is going to fall down.”
Tree falls down.
“I told you so.”
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Maggoty@lemmy.world 8 months ago
They were always right about the date. They just were wrong about what Jesus is looking for.
TriflingToad@lemmy.world 8 months ago
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
dumbass@leminal.space 8 months ago
negativenull@lemmy.world 8 months ago
They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it’ll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.
It traacks
umbraroze@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Never mind the old flippediroo of the day and month. What I want to know is why is there a dash in front of the date. I thought the separators went between the things to be separated.
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 8 months ago
nonsense, there are only 12 months
itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Not again
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
TheFool@infosec.pub 8 months ago
sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 8 months ago
From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.
Rolando@lemmy.world 8 months ago
What happens if you have a Sinful Thought during “The Great Snatch”? Do you get un-Snatched? What if you immediately Repent? Do you get Snatched again? Will there be people bouncing back and forth indefinitely?
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 8 months ago
The lord works in mysterious ways!
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Some archeologists get paid to dig up old kitchen tools from early human history. You’re just leaving stuff for the archeologists in 2424
The_Quaz@lemmy.world 8 months ago
HawlSera@lemm.ee 8 months ago
God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.
PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!
daggermoon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Congrats on the pegging, happy for you.
Railing5132@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!
WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.
Railing5132@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 8 months ago
I’m guessing you haven’t had many customers yet?
Also, you think you’re not getting raptured but you are literally offering a good thing for people that won’t even pay you. Pretty sure Jesus would think you were dope.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Jesus. Obvs.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Pretty sure pouring wine onto plants will kill them.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
What mental gymbastics do you think the sign-maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?
eezeebee@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
Mysterious Ways ™️
Soup@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Something about god’s holding out to see if Trump wins because he’s not sure wait hold on…
niktemadur@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they’ve s
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 8 months ago
Post-Rapture looting anyone?
Monster96@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.
Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.
It all makes sense!
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?
Harvey656@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.
9point6@lemmy.world 8 months ago
What timezone is the rapture in?
Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.
If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷♂️
atmur@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Can we reschedule? I have plans tonight
The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Image
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
dan1101@lemm.ee 8 months ago
The past is the past, surely more letters will fit in the same space!