Open Menu
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
lotide
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
Login

I hope you don't have any plans this evening.

⁨831⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨FlyingSquid@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5b1b197d-f0e9-4104-bd0c-8299fa2d45bd.png

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Image

    source
    • chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!

      source
      • dan1101@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        The past is the past, surely more letters will fit in the same space!

        source
  • YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.

    source
    • NatakuNox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Better yet, if you get enough people to listen to you, start saying you’re Jesus.

      totally not cult behavior

      source
  • VitaminF@feddit.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.

    source
    • BambiDiego@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Maybe this in Julian calendar?!

      That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!

      source
      • BootyBuccaneer@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Can’t I fuck off for 246 days and repent the day of? I mean, I just bought this bag of coke and another one of oxy. D:

        source
    • Zulu@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      My favorite month in the dual-year. Junetobuary.

      source
  • dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

    Matthew 24:36.

    RTFM, noob.

    source
    • Rolando@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      “Read The Fisherman Matthew”?

      source
      • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Read the fucking moom

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • DomeGuy@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?

      source
    • UtMan1988@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!

      source
    • netvor@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      RTFB

      source
  • frickineh@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.

    source
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.

      source
      • ceenote@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • Dave@lemmy.nz ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      19th here, I think I got left behind.

      source
    • abfarid@startrek.website ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s happening on the 9th of 18th month, we’ve still got some time.

      source
  • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.

    source
    • KingJalopy@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      You sure everybody got raptured and you’re not just in Australia?

      source
    • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Nah mate, that’s just fuckin Thursdy.

      source
      • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Aw fuckin’ hell!

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Party time!

      source
    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Everyone is dead. Everyone except us.

      youtu.be/_lOrs5crSlo

      source
  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes

    source
    • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Jesus, King of the Edging!

      source
  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n

    source
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.

      source
      • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It’s currently September 19th

    Image

    source
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.

      source
      • Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I also don’t want to go to work

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • P1k1e@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I MISSED IT!?

    source
    • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it’s happening in 2124.

      source
      • P1k1e@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Whew ok… Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap

        source
  • MapleEngineer@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    9-18-24 9-19-24 9-20-24 9-21-24 9-22-24

    I mean…if they keep this up they will be right eventually…right?

    source
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Eventually.

      source
      • MapleEngineer@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Like my wife, every day for 17 years, “That tree is going to fall down.”

        Tree falls down.

        “I told you so.”

        source
      • KingJalopy@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        LMFAO

        Image

        source
      • jim3692@discuss.online ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Why is 2038 missing?

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      They were always right about the date. They just were wrong about what Jesus is looking for.

      source
  • TriflingToad@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?

    what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”

    checkmate?

    source
    • dumbass@leminal.space ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Image

      source
  • negativenull@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it’ll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.

    It traacks

    source
    • umbraroze@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Never mind the old flippediroo of the day and month. What I want to know is why is there a dash in front of the date. I thought the separators went between the things to be separated.

      source
  • eager_eagle@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    nonsense, there are only 12 months

    source
  • itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Not again

    source
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.

      Image

      source
      • TheFool@infosec.pub ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.

        source
      • Rolando@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        What happens if you have a Sinful Thought during “The Great Snatch”? Do you get un-Snatched? What if you immediately Repent? Do you get Snatched again? Will there be people bouncing back and forth indefinitely?

        source
  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

    source
    • Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The lord works in mysterious ways!

      source
    • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Some archeologists get paid to dig up old kitchen tools from early human history. You’re just leaving stuff for the archeologists in 2424

      source
  • The_Quaz@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Image

    source
  • HawlSera@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.

    source
  • PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!

    source
    • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Congrats on the pegging, happy for you.

      source
  • Railing5132@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!

    source
    • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.

      source
      • Railing5132@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • KingJalopy@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I’m guessing you haven’t had many customers yet?

        Also, you think you’re not getting raptured but you are literally offering a good thing for people that won’t even pay you. Pretty sure Jesus would think you were dope.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Jesus. Obvs.

      source
      • KingJalopy@lemm.ee ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Pretty sure pouring wine onto plants will kill them.

        source
  • wesker@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What mental gymbastics do you think the sign-maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?

    source
    • eezeebee@lemmy.ca ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Mysterious Ways ™️

      source
    • Soup@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Something about god’s holding out to see if Trump wins because he’s not sure wait hold on…

      source
  • niktemadur@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they’ve s

    source
  • Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Post-Rapture looting anyone?

    source
  • Monster96@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.

    Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.

    It all makes sense!

    source
  • AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?

    source
  • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?

    source
  • Harvey656@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.

    source
  • 9point6@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    What timezone is the rapture in?

    Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos

    source
  • FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.

    If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷‍♂️

    source
  • atmur@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Can we reschedule? I have plans tonight

    source
-> View More Comments