Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.
I hope you don't have any plans this evening.
Submitted 11 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5b1b197d-f0e9-4104-bd0c-8299fa2d45bd.png
Comments
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 11 months ago
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Better yet, if you get enough people to listen to you, start saying you’re Jesus.
totally not cult behavior
VitaminF@feddit.org 11 months ago
Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.
BambiDiego@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Maybe this in Julian calendar?!
That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!
BootyBuccaneer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
Can’t I fuck off for 246 days and repent the day of? I mean, I just bought this bag of coke and another one of oxy. D:
Zulu@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My favorite month in the dual-year. Junetobuary.
dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 11 months ago
But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.
Matthew 24:36.
RTFM, noob.
DomeGuy@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Does this imply that the rapture won’t happen on any day any man or angel predicted it, and suggest that these crackpots are either delivering a “no rapture today” message from the Lord Almighty or else embarrassing Her into putting it off?
UtMan1988@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Reginald, The Fingerless Mittens!
netvor@lemmy.world 11 months ago
RTFB
frickineh@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s almost 9pm where I am and there’s no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.
ceenote@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Maybe that’s been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.
Dave@lemmy.nz 11 months ago
19th here, I think I got left behind.
abfarid@startrek.website 11 months ago
It’s happening on the 9th of 18th month, we’ve still got some time.
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 11 months ago
You sure everybody got raptured and you’re not just in Australia?
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 11 months ago
Party time!
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Everyone is dead. Everyone except us.
socsa@piefed.social 11 months ago
Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes
dumbass@leminal.space 11 months ago
Jesus, King of the Edging!
gedaliyah@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s true. I’m getting raptured right n
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.
gedaliyah@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Okay, you got me, I’m still stuck here with all of you heretics
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 11 months ago
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Dude, you’re already part god. You don’t get to be raptured.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I also don’t want to go to work
P1k1e@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I MISSED IT!?
samus12345@lemmy.world 11 months ago
No, they neglected to put the first part of the year, it’s happening in 2124.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Whew ok… Just 100 more years and I can learn to rap
MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 11 months ago
9-18-249-19-249-20-249-21-249-22-24I mean…if they keep this up they will be right eventually…right?
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Like my wife, every day for 17 years, “That tree is going to fall down.”
Tree falls down.
“I told you so.”
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Maggoty@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They were always right about the date. They just were wrong about what Jesus is looking for.
TriflingToad@lemmy.world 11 months ago
so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god’ll change it?
what if I make a website that just says “the rapture will be [current date +1]”
checkmate?
dumbass@leminal.space 11 months ago
negativenull@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it’ll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.
It traacks
umbraroze@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Never mind the old flippediroo of the day and month. What I want to know is why is there a dash in front of the date. I thought the separators went between the things to be separated.
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 11 months ago
nonsense, there are only 12 months
itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 11 months ago
Not again
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
TheFool@infosec.pub 11 months ago
sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 11 months ago
From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.
Rolando@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What happens if you have a Sinful Thought during “The Great Snatch”? Do you get un-Snatched? What if you immediately Repent? Do you get Snatched again? Will there be people bouncing back and forth indefinitely?
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 11 months ago
The lord works in mysterious ways!
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Some archeologists get paid to dig up old kitchen tools from early human history. You’re just leaving stuff for the archeologists in 2424
The_Quaz@lemmy.world 11 months ago
HawlSera@lemm.ee 11 months ago
God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.
PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!
daggermoon@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Congrats on the pegging, happy for you.
Railing5132@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!
WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I’m sure as shit not getting raptured.
Railing5132@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Great Scott! I was so busy packing, I forgot about the dog! Quick! What are your rates! Nevermind - here’s my bank info - I won’t need money anymore!!
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 11 months ago
I’m guessing you haven’t had many customers yet?
Also, you think you’re not getting raptured but you are literally offering a good thing for people that won’t even pay you. Pretty sure Jesus would think you were dope.
FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Jesus. Obvs.
KingJalopy@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Pretty sure pouring wine onto plants will kill them.
wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 11 months ago
What mental gymbastics do you think the sign-maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?
eezeebee@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Mysterious Ways ™️
Soup@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Something about god’s holding out to see if Trump wins because he’s not sure wait hold on…
niktemadur@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they’ve s
Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 11 months ago
Post-Rapture looting anyone?
Monster96@lemmy.world 11 months ago
It’s probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.
Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.
It all makes sense!
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?
Harvey656@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.
9point6@lemmy.world 11 months ago
What timezone is the rapture in?
Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.
If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷♂️
atmur@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Can we reschedule? I have plans tonight
The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Image
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Let’s start with a big-ass “H”!
dan1101@lemm.ee 11 months ago
The past is the past, surely more letters will fit in the same space!