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I hope you don't have any plans this evening.

⁨831⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨FlyingSquid@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/5b1b197d-f0e9-4104-bd0c-8299fa2d45bd.png

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Comments

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  • Gork@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Jesus is having sex today.

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  • OCATMBBL@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    HAPP EN

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The miracle of prophecy is not related to the miracle of proper kerning.

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      • dan@upvote.au ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The kerning looks okay - it’s the font that’s weird.

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  • pewpew@feddit.it ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “WILL HAPP~EN~”

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  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    WTF! I missed it? Did every single Jehovah’s witness drink the juice so they could fly into the spaceship or what? Postponed?

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Fun fact: Jehovah’s witnesses think only 144,000 men go to heaven and then all the good JWs get new bodies on Earth.

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      • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Funner fact. The Jehovah’s Witnesses calculated that the year would be 1844, and someone did start a religion that year claiming to be the return, but that was in Persia, so they didn’t know. They decided they must have miscalculated, and recalculated the date multiple times until 1900 at which point they basically just said, “he’s late.” They were literally started to look for the return of Christ, and because it didn’t happen exactly the way they thought it should, they gave up and claimed that God must be wrong.

        I have fun with JWs when they come to my door.

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      • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Shit! I had it all wrong! Okay but now that the rapture is over and not gonna happen anymore, then maybe everyone can go back to their regularly scheduled Friday?

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  • PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think the rapture happened a decade ago and this is hell

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    • Notyou@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Purgatory.

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    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Everyone is a sinner. Especially the religious types.

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  • h3mlocke@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “Yes! I have the foresight to predict The Rapture^TM^, but not the foresight to fit the words onto a cardboard sign…” lol

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  • Bruncvik@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Spoiler alert: it’s already happened, and all the virtuous people already ascended to heaven.

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I REFUSE to believe gahd has put me on par with Karen by leaving both of us on Earth! I demand to talk to his manager!

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That explains why I’m still here.

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    • Mobiledecay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      My nipples are on fire. Send help. 😢

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  • Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    There were 666 likes to this post. I ruined it by turning it to 667!

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Do we need any more proof that the rapture is over and we missed it?

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  • MoonRaven@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Shit, I missed it.

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Shouldn’t have taken that nap.

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  • lemmycdatass@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is this EST, PDT, Australish? Need to plan my pooping.

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  • random_character_a@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I hope it’s during work hour. Would be shame to do whole days work just to get eaten by the rising dead.

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  • Treczoks@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Time to paint a new sign, methinks.

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  • Thassodar@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Seems like the planning for this was the same planning they put into making the words fit on the sign.

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    • BigBenis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      THE RAPTURE WILL HAPP^EN

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Oh man I’m here just waiting to look at jesus and say “Fucking took you long enough!! wtf you doing up there while I was working my ass off you fuck? I hope that linda bitch is not coming with us!”

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  • lugal@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    c/agedlikemilk

    POV: It didn’t happen

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  • PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m glad it didn’t happen because I got to pet a cat while the world was supposed to be ending.

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  • RGB@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Oh come on! I was gonna get a haircut today.

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  • Maggoty@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m pretty sure my plans are fine. Jesus is going to take one look at us and turn around.

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  • slurpeesoforion@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Is that why there’s an abandoned pair of shorts in the parking deck? And here I thought someone was running around pantless.

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    • turddle@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The velociraptures got him 😩 RIP

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  • samus12345@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Imagine if what qualified to get raptured were believing in it. The world would be so much better without all those people!

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  • hate2bme@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The rapture probably did happen but nobody on earth was worthy.

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  • swag_money@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    ah fuck i missed the rapture again. guys how was it?

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Kind of boring actually.

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  • unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I would get letters from my grandma - long, winding beseeching me to come to the Lord or whatever, with often a specific date predicted in the near future of the end times. I never kept them because I was embarrassed. She was lonely and mentally ill, and probably trying to manipulate people into visiting her, but she also believed the shit she was saying, even though it kept changing, IMO.

    I think that’s a little bit of what is going on with these signs

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  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    According to their own book, no man will know the day or the hour IIRC. So anyone who says they know, at all, is by default wrong, and you can guarantee that it won’t happen at that time.

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    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The Jehovah’s Witnesses figured out that it was supposed to happen in 1844. According to The Baha’is, they were right but wrong at the same time.

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  • Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    He’s got the wrong date.

    To quote late musician Peter Steele:

    April 2029, the final time The end my friends is not near, the hour in fact is quite here … It’s a Friday 13th of course you won’t live, to see noon. … Are you paranoid what’s on the asteroid has got your name tattooed on it? This stone’s called Apophis And it brings apocalypse.

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  • Mobiledecay@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s gonna be 10:12pm so we have time for a last meal still if you want before Jesus chucks everyone in the woodchipper. 😊

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  • ATDA@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Batting .000 here religious sign guy.

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  • Noobnarski@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Welp, I have only now seen this post on the 19.09.2024.

    I guess I did not only miss the notification, but also the rapture itself.

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  • acockworkorange@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Jesus came, broke my fridge, and didn’t even leave a note. Asshole.

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  • badbytes@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I think the Rapture was going to be happy before it was to happen.

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