Simple. Elegant. Fashionable, even. Become the envy of the airport.

Comments

• rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  From the product description:

  Too big to be included in your free allowance and self-defeating as a checked bag, this mandatory carry-on item includes an unfamiliar-looking battery (which is either too small to be useful or too big to be safe) that will make on-board staff and TSA agents alike giggle with glee, and the space demanded by the retractable handles and motor ensure that not only will you need to be selective with your packing but also with your prepatory gym workout in preparation for lugging this thing into an overhead bin. On the departures lounge it comes into it’s own: instead of having to walk for arduous minutes at a time from security to the gate - often along treacherous perfectly flat carpeted concrete floors, and with mere hours to spare - you can now inexpertly weave your top-heavy assemblage through the delighted thorngs of your fellow travellers who will surely be as obliging as can be of enduring the occasional shin injuriy and will graciously bow out of your way as their self-preservation instincts sense your approach.

  Please note this thing must be kept bone dry and is utterly useless on asphalt, gravel or even the mildest inclines, meaning it becomes an unrelenting burden the moment it leaves the terminal.

  …probably

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  • Janx@piefed.social ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Did you just come up with that!? It’s perfect. (Aside from the “thorngs” typo.) Do you write for a living?

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• BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  “Out of my way, Peasants!”

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• wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Yo dawg, we heard you like suitcases! So I put on a suitcase on your ride so that when you put your suitcase on the plane it’s actually considered an e-scooter not a suitcase and you get banned from plane, so then you can ride your suitcase more!

  Now open up that suitcase, it’s actually a speaker!

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• PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Image

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Thing gets at least like three feet of air.

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• expatriado@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  there goes 40lb of the 50lb weight limit

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    FWIW I’ve never had my carry-on weighed

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    • proudblond@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      They do in Europe. It’s annoying. I had to rearrange stuff amongst four carry-ons while standing in front of the check-in counter because one of them was too heavy. It would have all evened out and they knew that because they weighed all of them, but they still made me do it.

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    • skeezix@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      The thing in the image is too big to be a carry on

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  • musubibreakfast@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I saw a functional one for sale past customs in the Duty free shop in Singapore. Make of that what you will

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  • SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Can’t ask you to check your carry on, I guess.

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• mrfriki@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  “The entire empire has sunk into a quagmire of extravagance from which they cannot extricate themselves” — Some random quote from the internet.

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  • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    “The excesses of a decaying society” -too lazy to look it up

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  • limer@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Quoted

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• Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  You thought pocket sized lithium batteries blowing up was an issue. Wait till one of these babies goes.

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  • jdr@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Laptops

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    • Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Pagers

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• yesman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  YSK: If you have mobility problems, you can call ahead or just ask for assistance and the airline will provide a wheelchair and an escort to/ from the gate.

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  • kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What’s the ethics of pretending to have mobility problems for a fun ride?

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    • rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Image

      SICKOS*

      ^*latest^ ^fad^

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    • tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If you can still sleep at night, none.

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• DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Image

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• betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Great for jousting on those moving walkways (not absolutely necessary but more speed, more fun) if you find another traveler with one and come up with something to use as a lance. Really helps pass the time on a long layover.

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  • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Ok, now I actually want two so I can joust with my kids

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  • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That’s going to be a reaally long layover.

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    • betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Only if they can catch you.

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• FiniteBanjo@feddit.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I wouldn’t waste valuable suitcase space on a motor and battery even if I thought this could get past TSA and Customs.

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• chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I like how the picture has a completely different seat that wouldn’t be able to travel with the suitcase.

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  • PattyMcB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Didn’t you hear? Advertisers are now using AI to make products look more appealing regardless of what they actually look like.

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    • eah@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Reason #1337 to install an ad blocker.

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• 0x0@lemmy.zip ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  That’s a weird take… it’s obviously aimed at fat muricans but can’t take the load of a fat murican…

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Based off the product pictures that were on the actual listing, I think it’s more aimed at people with mobility issues.

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    • Aneb@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The airport offers a free service to court the elderly around the terminals and brings them to there gate. I dropped my gran off with no hassle 2 yrs ago. She had a lovely experience, tip is suggested but x50 times cheaper than the e suitcase.

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• Riverview_Legal@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  My money is on the baggage handlers completely destroying everything.

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  • hanrahan@slrpnk.net ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    wont be allowed to be checked in most countries, as it has a battery, carry on only.

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• erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  i remember going to car shows as a kid, and people had these but ice coolers for drinks and snacks

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• TomMasz@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  They do exist in the wild.

  Here’s one that goes for $395 on Amazon.

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  • protist@retrofed.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Nowhere on here does there seem to be a weight limit. Based on the people in the video, I can only assume the weight limit is 95 lbs (43 globalist communist units)

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    This is a screenshot from Amazon

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• DioramaOfShit@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  How come his has a backrest?

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    After hours of scrutiny, I’ve determined that the product in the top (the Elila Master) is different than the one on the bottom (the Elila Pro)

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• Zier@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Just remember, if you see someone riding one of these in the airport, you can laugh your head off knowing they can only pack 3 pairs of underwear and nothing else.

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• finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  A small price to pay to become the envy of the airport.

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I saw someone drifting one of these bad boys through a terminal and a pilot got out of his way.

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• pr06lefs@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  looking forward to 14 year olds ripping around the airport on those

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  • hanrahan@slrpnk.net ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    heaps of young kids doing that in various Asian airports

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Younger kids are already on those scooter suitcase things.

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• HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Image

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• BeelzebubEiNukuKoskaan@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Clarksoooon!

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• cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Sold!

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• wrinkle2409@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Are we advertising on Lemmy now?

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  • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Well duh. It says “sponsored” right in the middle of the photo. There’s a bunch of gullible schmucks on this platform and I’m trying to capitalize. What do you think I post for, social interaction? 😂👎🏾

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    • Zier@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Damn you're good at your side hustle.

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  • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Typical Lemmy socialist scrolling their feed

    “Oh shit, just what I needed!”

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• Kintarian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Heaven forbid anyone should ever walk

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