🇫🇷
Fappucino
Submitted 1 day ago by stumu415@lemmy.zip to [deleted]
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/acacd507-630a-4a8a-9cc3-be1bf0fa897c.avif
Comments
5765313496@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
nullspace@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
Hon hon hon
*ejaculates in coffee*
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 4 hours ago
He has no regrets.
JoMiran@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Although OP’s headline is completely fake, this one is not.
SalmiakDragon@feddit.nu 14 hours ago
And of course, the target is a female coworker.
tutter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 hours ago
ans the perv fucking got off scott free because “technically theres no law against unwanted seminal fluids”.
Whyyyyyy? Everyone acknowledges this is fucked up and wrong “we just didnt have the imagination to include your specific little freak case, so now you get to face NO consequences. Lucky you :)”
i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it…
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Some of the best puns for this meme include:
- Fappucino
- Cumpresso
- Ejaculatte
- Tastes nutty
On a more sobering note, this guy’s real crime is sexually harassing women. More so, the legal system didn’t really work in his case.
dreamkeeper@literature.cafe 7 hours ago
It pisses me off how easy it is for these fucks to get away with it. All of the women I’ve been close to have stories about being assaulted, stalked or harassed, or all three. These men are a plague on society and should be locked away for a lot fucking longer than they are.
lyralycan@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Same here. It’s so commonplace it’s terrifying. I transitioned physically after I became an adult, and I am lucky that I didn’t grow up with the same chance of sexual abuse as cis women, but since then I have become fearful of walking at night alone, mainly because of the sheer danger women face by people who think it’s their birthright to own everything and everyone they want.
My neighbour was stalked almost to her home a week ago. She carries a rape alarm in her hand because this isn’t a rare occurrence.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
Its like those shows/films where they get you rooting for the protagonist early and then show you that you’ve been cheering for a monster.
bryophile@lemmy.zip 15 hours ago
At what point were you still cheering for this guy exactly?
kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
“These charges are bullshit. I missed a day every once in a while. Performance anxiety.”
trublu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 hours ago
Big Joel?
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 hours ago
So, both technically and rhetorically a wanker.
deft@lemmy.wtf 20 hours ago
My god what an absolute nutter
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Evil Frodo
UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
How the fuck you buss a nut that easily, was the coffee cold and creamy?
bizarroland@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This demonstrates an incredible drive, a level of commitment that no one who is not being chased by inner demons can accomplish.
Any company would be Lucky to hire this guy to use that for their purposes (while he works from home)
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
Work form home
Wank in the office
DrPop@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
I’m thinking of the scene in South Park where they were selling Butter’s goo as a sports drink. Randy goes to drink it and says ,“this is cum,”. Implying Randy knows what cum taste like and no one figured it out.
tigermountain@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Just like they were dating.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 1 day ago
These days bosses always complain about a lack of dedication from their employees. And then they get this guy who shows some real dedication and they arrest him. SMH
sundray@lemmus.org 1 day ago
Exactly. I never want to hear someone say that nobody wants to work anymore again.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I remember just before the pandemic just about every non-trade job in my area was hiring at minimum wage. I’d hear store owners say they’re short staffed because nobody wants to work.
I said “How much do you start employees at?” And they’d say $7.10 per hour."
I said “At those wages, I imagine they don’t want to work an adult job when Mcdonalds down the street hires for $8.00 an hour.”
These small business owners never wanted to admit the problem. In those days, if he’d have said $12 an hour, I’d likely have applied.
itisileclerk@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Whait, what? He will receive some kind of punishment, and his boss will receive ridicule as long as he lives. How is that “justice is served”?
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
CUMppuccino
Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Lol i wonder if it became such a force of habit he didn’t even realize what he was doing after a couple years – imagining he got caught red-handed “what are you doing?!?” “Uh im uh getting boss their coffee uhhh yeah this looks weird uhh it’s just a habit you know”
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
“This is how he takes his coffee, don’t judge.”
anon_8675309@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Looks guilty to me.
Racoonwithbenefits@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Accused?
So whats the point?
People are accused constantly
custom_username@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Suspects picture looks AI generated
Starski@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Yeah, he looks like Stanley Kubrick lol
chris@lemmy.grey.fail 1 day ago
Joke’s on everyone. I’m my own boss! 💦
cheat700000007@lemmy.world 1 day ago
So assuming 15min a session, x 250ish workdays removing holidays in the USA, x 4 years = 250 hours of getting paid to jerk off
yakko@feddit.uk 1 day ago
Ain’t no fifteen minute sesh spaffing all up a flat white, that’s a four-minute joyless forcegasm.
suodrazah@lemmy.ml 23 hours ago
Minutes? Those are rookie numbers. You gotta get those numbers down.
henfredemars@infosec.pub 1 day ago
Sauce please if true. I want this to be true.
plyth@feddit.org 1 day ago
You can make it true.
covert_czar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Better froth in cappuccino
THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Type of post I scroll by and leave front and center on my phone at work without realizing what it says for 5 minutes.
TIEPilot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
He burned around 7500 calories doing this…
hOrni@lemmy.world 1 day ago
He was trying to save the company money creamer.
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Boss only found out when he forgot to jerk into his coffee and noticed it tasted off.
a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 44 minutes ago
Image
foo@feddit.uk 9 hours ago
That’s a good point. Did that boss never drink coffee from anywhere else? Surely they would know what a normal one would taste like.
Zizzy@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 hours ago
If its made black with higher quality, sure. If its low quality and milk and a bunch o lf creamer and more sugar, youre not going to be able to tell
plyth@feddit.org 1 day ago
Or he started liking asparagus.