You will want thick gloves, a thick towel, and a container with lid to insert the cat into. Beans is not declawed, and knows you will struggle to maneuver under the bed. You may need a spray bottle of water as well.
Good luck.
Beans
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/cb1fb11e-4757-4d6a-a910-95b26a9145ee.jpeg
Comments
Inucune@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
declawed
I haven’t yet had my fingertips snipped off either. Lovely euphemism for “mutilation of extremities”.
Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Me, looking up what declawing actually does: wtf that’s not declawing, that’s amputation!
Reading further: “can lead to behavioural issues” no shit, you don’t say…
ShellMonkey@piefed.socdojo.com 2 weeks ago
Do you just go around looking to be offended?
mech@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
The thick gloves protect you while you grab Beans and put him in the container.
And it’s just always a good idea to carry a towel.WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
But claws are the fun part!
ekZepp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
b_tr3e@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
No. Eyes don’t match. So the whole movie monster fails. The terror of cat’s eyes (specifically in the dark, when you can’t determine size and distance of the cat) is hard coded into our brains. An evolutionary thing as “cats” for most of the time used to be on the upper end of the food chain and your chances of reproduction massively raised if you were the first one to spot the cat - and run for your live. Just look at the typical cartoon panel symbolizing the dark and dangerous unknown, a dark place with cat’s eyes looking out. You’ll be subtily terrified - if the shape and proportions match the “cat” scheme.
athatet@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
That isn’t a cat.
Rooster326@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Trigger warning. Why you gotta bring artax into this?
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Beans is in charge around here.
Beans decides what the humans do and when.
Beans makes the humans ask permission to eat, sleep, exit and enter the house, and go to the toilet.
Sometimes Beans says no.
Lommy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Even the cats are splurging on rotiserie chickens in this economy?!
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They will never own a home
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Beans must be a millennial (/s)
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Our Cleo once grabbed a whole KFC drumstick, and managed to swallow it whole. That was one expensive evening at Kitty ER.
She also frickin LOVES Parmesan cheese. I caught her getting into a large cabinet, and in the back she had a stash of those little packets, like you get at a pizzeria.
Redstone1@lemmings.world 2 weeks ago
Beans hunted that bird and took it back to her lair let beans have her feast! 😤😤
heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf 2 weeks ago
Hupf@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Greetings, fellow old person
bold_omi@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
That poor greasy carpet…
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
I cooked a lobster tail once, and our big alpha tomcat decided that he was just going to take it from me, right off my plate. I was more than willing to share, but he had other plans.
He had NEVER tried to steal anything before, he just really loved the smell of that lobster.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
So what kind of violin did you make from him?
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Not my Jake, he was a varmint, but we loved him. He took his job protecting us very seriously. But that lobster just smelled toooo good. I get it.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I had a cat that was like that with tuna. He never begged for any other food but he’d try to get that if you had it on your plate. It got to the point where he wouldn’t even bother me while I was making the food, he would just go and wait on the desk where I ate. He never sat there otherwise so he was planning that shit out lol. He also once stole an entire McDonald’s cheeseburger, wrapper, and all and hid under the bed with it like Beans when he was a very young kitten. That thing was bigger than him.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Whenever I make tuna, I squeeze all the juice on a plate, with a few chunks of tuna. They slurp that up quick, and that satisfies them.
You have to keep an eye on them though, and make sure the one big one doesn’t get it all. Everybody gets a few licks of the tuna juice.
NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Become ungovernable.
Ghostie@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
That’s what you get for splurging on rotisserie chicken. /s
Vespair@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Every single day I see something from a pet owner that reaffirms how happy I am to not have pets.
Johanno@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
My cat I got when he was a few months old.
Picked up from the street, would have died in the winter probably.
However I raised him to deny any of my food. He has its own food.
It was difficult the first 3 times. He begged for the food the whole time I ate. And even tried to get sth. But I was iron willed to keep my food.
The 4th time he never begged or tried to get sth.
And now I can even leave the food unattended for 2 minutes with him nearby and he won’t try to get sth.
3 minutes is risky though.
gajahmada@awful.systems 2 weeks ago
I’ve raised dozen of strays I picked-up from the streets over my lifetime. None but one was food motivated enough to steal our food, and the orange one that did isn’t so stubborn as to push his luck, a simple hush was enough to deter him.
Though I’m SEA, most of our food is plant based and the occasional meat we have is drenched in seasoning I don’t think they recognize it as food lol.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I guess I’m lucky my cat wont touch any of my food.
TractorDuffy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
How do you feel about children?
Vespair@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
A very very happy uncle to many, love spending time with them, but also love going home to a quiet house a lot too
Rooster326@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Yeah my daughter did this to a box of popcorn chicken one time…
Ranulph@thelemmy.club 2 weeks ago
Beans would learn about the spray bottle that day. He would growl and be wet at the same time. Sad thing he knew he was not getting any of this without taking action so he took his chances. You may chastise him but he has already won
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Nine pounds apparently is around 4kg, that’s well within the normal weight range for a cat, why are you calling beans out for it?
spip@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think the point was that a 9lb cat doesn’t need 2-3lbs of food. Beans is choosing not to share.
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
A cat can have an entire an entire rotisserie chicken as a treat.
Quill7513@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
i think the point is that Beans has chosen to dedicate their entire weight to violence. they all know they outweigh Beans and shouldn’t be afraid, but Beans has made Beans into the world’s most dangerious teeny tiny little itty bitty kitty terrorist
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Beans don’t consider it violence. Beans found this massive feast, just sitting there, and it certainly didn’t look like the humans were in any rush to claim it. Beans is just protecting their treasure and can’t figure out what the humans’ problem is.
I’m on team Beans. Humans can go get another chicken and learn how to properly guard your provisions this time.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ll give you £9 for Beans.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
£1/lb for fresh cat? In this economy??
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Bad deal. I got my beans for 30p
hector@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Hunt your own roitisserie chicken don’t steal Beans’ ya jerk! He found that one fair and square, ambushed it on the counter.
robocall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I love eating chicken and beans
chocrates@piefed.world 2 weeks ago
My dog resource guards. I don’t know if I’m supposed to do this but when she gets in that mood I feel it is important that she not “win”. I’m thinking this would reinforce that behavior.
I get bit a lot.
saltesc@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You should swap out the thing she has with something else of value. Treats, licky mat, toy, another piece of meat, whatever. This gets her used to something being taken off her and it not being a bad thing. Eventually the swap is just for praise or a pat, but for really valuable things you may still need something more valuable.
Vinylraupe@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Looks like hes splurging in it.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Good show, old bean.
TractorDuffy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
get that money Beans
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Nuh-uh. Caught that chicken fair and square
desiccated_event@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Beans is my spirit animal
PugJesus@piefed.social 2 weeks ago
apex predator
HulkSmashBurgers@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
Lmfao!
housedogpartyfavor@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
ROAR
anon_8675309@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Beans will whoop your ass if you touch his chicken.
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Beans with the mean genes and the sharp beans
preschool236@lemmy.wtf 2 weeks ago
let beans live
sundray@lemmus.org 2 weeks ago
was 9 pounds.
_stranger_@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That 1% Nacho kid is going to have a new goal.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Is now 18 pounds, until the chicken is digested 😂