Should I invest in sex now that it’s low?
That's an impressive drop. Any ideas why?
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9be66e18-3c4c-47e8-8d42-a10636b86bb2.png
Comments
YourMomsTrashman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fizz@lemmy.nz 2 weeks ago
Nah its going to rock bottom
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not if I have any say in the matter!
…yeah, it’s going to rock bottom.
jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Maybe that’s the problem. A lot of the ladies I know say that sort of thing is uncomfortable.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Many animals breed less in captivity. Many do not breed at all. The less people feel a sense of control over their own lives, the weaker the desire to procreate becomes. Even if people use birth control, sex drive is still ultimately a reproductive urge. If you’re a farmer in the 19th century ? You have a great deal of freedom and independence. Mid 20th century American worker? Homes are cheap. Jobs are abundant. Labor rights are strong. You have lots of options on how to earn a living. You have a clear path to getting a home and raising a family on your own terms. Present-day 20 something? You don’t just have roommates in an apartment; you’re actually sharing bedrooms. Or you’re stuck living under your parents’ roof forever, your only hope of home ownership being them passing it on to you. All the jobs available to you don’t come close to providing any kind of independent living, let alone the wages to actually buy a home, start a family, etc. You’re just going to have to run on the wage slave treadmill til you die.
The economy has developed to squeeze ever more out of workers and consumers. We’re psychologically manipulated at every turn. Every business feels like a scam trying to pull one over on you. You can’t even sign up for a gym membership without risking getting caught in dark business practices (their infamous cancellation policies.) People feel and are trapped in a system that they have little to no control over. Politicians only listen to the wealthy. Unions provided some voice to the voiceless for some time, but those have been gutted. People feel like cornered animals. They feel as though the entire system is just on elaborate exercise in thinly veiled slavery meant to extract every last once of the work product of your entire life from you. The wealthy pay you a pittance for your labor and then take all that pittance back in usurious rents. People feel trapped.
Lots of animals refuse to reproduce in captivity. Lots of animals reduce their birth rates under captivity. Why should humans be any different? Why should we be any different than the mice of Universe 25?
malware@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
No idea. I can just say that at least for me it wasn’t voluntary. 17 through 21 tried dating some people, only one agreed and then made fun of me publically and sent me photos of fucking other dudes. Since then I got depressed really hard and gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of hair, still trying my best to recover and lose weight. I somehow missed that one girl in college that gave me signs that she likes me, and it made me even more depressed, thinking that I lost my only hope. Idk why I wrote this, sorry if you read it, just had something stuck in my throat and needed to type it out.
ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 3 weeks ago
It happens, the ‘did I miss a cue’ can be brutal if it keeps replaying. Only real answer I know is being content with your own self and if someone also happens to fall into that same space all the better. People get so inundated with images of what’s ‘possible’ which a good chunk of it’s enhanced with selective posting and filters, so we get some unrealistic view of what a normal happy life is supposed to be.
As for the sending pics, shitty people aren’t worth the brain space to stress over, you dodged a bullet there.
malware@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
I just heard in a song something similar to “being content with your own self” and I see your comment, what a nice coincidence. Totally agree, trying to help myself from living in my head where I made an ideal of what should everything be. Came to it only recently, after drinking bit too much and crying a lot. I think I got a piece of my hope back because of that, so it’s easier going forward now.
_hovi_@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Just keep working on yourself friend. Only way things don’t work out in the long run is if you stop trying
malware@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Thanks, hovi. I will. Appreciated ❤️
TheOneAndOnly@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Blues Traveler song I love has a very similar line; “There’s no such thing as a failure who keeps trying. Coasting to the bottom is the only mistake.”. I heard it at a young age, when I absolutely needed to hear it. I have done my best to teach my children and close friends this. You can do it. What “it” is may change in the effort… But if you keep trying, you will never be a failure.
FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
In life there are an infinite number of connections we’ll miss, the positive is we don’t need to make nearly that many.
The first step is to work on yourself, but you don’t need to drastically change who you are just learn to love yourself as you are.
Once you can manage that, it’s a lot easier to find connections.
malware@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Jee, I nearly choked on my ramen when I read your name 😂😂. Yea, totally agree, thank you
daannii@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Women are avoiding men. For all sorts of reasons that I think most of you are aware of.
Women also are feeling like they have the ability to refuse when before they didn’t.
Women are also scared of pregnancy in a way they haven’t been since the fecking 1900s.
Because now, you get pregnant. A doctor will let you die before they will provide medical care if that medical care has any chance of harming a fetus. Even if the fetus is dead.
Women are dying from pregnancy. Women are no longer able to terminate an early pregnancy safely.
Women are scared.
I realize not every sex encounter is a man and woman. But most of the population is hetero.
vga@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
It’s a huge turn off to be with someone who thing you are lower than them. Who thinks you don’t deserve basic human rights.
While I don’t disagree with this theory, I wonder why you would think that this is a recent development.
cley_faye@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
The awareness is relatively recent. “The woman place is in the kitchen” is not an old thing.
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Can I also add in stress and other environmental factors?
Ibuthyr@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
I don’t know… While this certainly has made a comeback in the last couple of years (thanks to rise of fucking Nazi shits all over the world), there has been a positive development.
I actually believe it has more to do with the ever increasing “efficiency” at work and addictive media (YouTube, social media, Netflix, etc.). People just don’t have time for sex anymore, because there are quicker ways to get your dopamine fixed. This is also why people don’t go out and socialize anymore. Social media is actually very antisocial.
veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s a huge turn off to be with someone who thing you are lower than them. Who thinks you don’t deserve basic human rights.
Are you basing this on dating app matches? It might be a case of survivor bias
To elaborate, what’s possibly happening is that only the assholes of society are the ones having a disproportionate level of exposure/influence on these apps because the good ones cycle out of it quickly enough when they find their viable partners. And then these assholes, who in fact represent a minority of the actual population, end up staining everyone else’s opinions by making them think these people are the majority of peoples’ behaviours.
WalnutLum@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
I imagine it’s a continuation of the isolation that social media causes..
bulwark@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I came to the same conclusion. I don’t doubt that sex is on the decline but whatever data this “Family Studies” collected to graph this is dubious at best. I think I saw a sample size of 2,000, but knowing this has some religious angle, they probably polled at church or something and are only interested in the procreation of the “right” people.
mienshao@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s the internet/social media. Not sure why we’re acting like this is a hard one. We are literally replacing real-life interactions with virtual ones—including sex. Wouldn’t be surprised if masturbation rates have drastically increased in that same timeframe.
callouscomic@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
- People are more willing to be honest now.
- How much of that sex in the past had the same amount of consent?
AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It says 1990 not 1900!
cley_faye@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You think 1990 where a time of full consent and awareness about other sensitivities? Oh boy.
realitista@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
Poverty, depression, gooning to porn.. Must I go on?
Asidonhopo@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I blame Newt Gingrich
realitista@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
If anyone could stop an entire country from fucking, it's that man.
showmeyourkizinti@startrek.website 3 weeks ago
I don’t know man, It always comes back to Reagan doesn’t it?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I have a really high sex drive and I’ve never been in a relationship where I consistently got it often enough to be satisfied so I stopped trying. It also doesn’t help that my living situation is not conducive to bringing people home with me.
Ibaudia@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’ve also never been in a relationship that totally satisfied my sex drive, so I feel this a lot. My fiance used to be very sexual like me, but then she went on antidepressants and that was kinda killed. Now, she’s off then again, but her sex drive never rebounded, even though she thinks I’m more attractive now that I’ve been working out and gained muscle. Just sad to be jerking off in the office or bathroom every day instead of being intimate with someone you love because they don’t want to have sex with you 🫤
I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.
I’d say we only really have sex where we’re both equally enjoying it maybe once every few weeks to once a month. If her drive were the same as mine, that would be once or twice a day. Just a shitty situation for me.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 weeks ago
I don’t blame her or anything, it just hurts my soul a bit. Her sex drive is so low now that I feel guilty and anxious even asking, because I know she’ll either reject it outright or just tolerate it if she really wants to make me happy that day, which kills it for me.
Yeah, I’m single now and intend to stay that way but I don’t blame my exes or hold it against women as a whole. It’s just a fact of life. It has bothered me enough to end relationships over it but it was just about the incompatibility not any malice towards them. I’d much rather just hang out as friends and not have that “is she going to be in the mood or not?” question running in my head the whole time or feeling shitty if I make a move and get shot down, or worry that they’re feeling like I’m trying to pressure them into something. It just creates a bad situation and stresses me out because it’s not like I can just turn it off. I’ve tried jacking off but my shit recovers too fast when I’m around a woman that I like for that to help.
TheProtagonist@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Although I feel sorry for you and your situation, I honestly wonder, how someone can jerk off in the office…
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Monogamist problems.
vane@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Digital drugs AI, social media. People replaced sex with mobile phone dopamine hits. Misogyny and misandry in media. Lack of financial stability.
bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]Pappabosley@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
No, women having choice over whether they have sex is the problem. They are naturally less sex-reliant than males and it is only through parties restricting those choices that you see a spike after they leave office. /s
Mossheart@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I was warming up the down vote finger so hard until I saw the /s. Got me good.
CarrierLost@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Humans have discovered we’re in captivity, and so we’ve stopped breeding.
Doomsider@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Spousal Rape Laws started getting enforced finally.
Nikls94@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
An ex once who told me that she had a rape fetish, was totally into it. I was against it but since she was longing for it so badly I told her “I‘ll do it during week 18 but I won’t tell you when” and she was excited.
Long story short: she enjoyed it while it lasted but cried afterwards because I was too harsh.
Years later I ran into her husband and it turned out that she has BPD.
I am very lucky to have had a written contract back then.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
I think generally you’d want to start smaller when trying any CNC stuff. But hey, a lot of kinks exist only in our minds but aren’t something people want to try, and sometimes we find out the hard way. I hope you two have each other the aftercare needed to move past that.
outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
So we’re gonna see it go back up?
vga@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
Lack of genuine idle time breeds … non-breeding.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
healthline.com/…/antidepressant-sexual-side-effec…
The best answer is how anti depressants which at least 20% of those in the USA take depresses the sex drive for both males and females.
turtlesareneat@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
I’m also going to think the absinence-only education plays a role. I know people in their 20s today who didn’t understand: lube, protection, HIV, pregnancy. Some of them were HIV+ before they knew what happened. People are confused and uneducated. Thanks Christians!
daannii@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Women are avoiding men. For all sorts of reasons that I think most of you are aware of.
Women also are feeling like they have the ability to refuse when before they didn’t.
Women are also scared of pregnancy in a way they haven’t been since the fecking 1900s.
Because now, you get pregnant. A doctor will let you die before they will provide medical care if that medical care has any chance of harming a fetus. Even if the fetus is dead.
Women are dying from pregnancy. Women are no longer able to terminate an early pregnancy safely.
Women are scared.
humanspiral@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
trend was before any new abortion bans. You probably cannot consider men avoiding women, but that is likely a larger overall factor.
nectar45@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Yeah uhm…women would be the ones loosing here not men…
BussyCat@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
11.4% take anti depressants and between 40-65% experience some degree of sexual dysfunction so even using the highest numbers and assuming that the sexual dysfunction completely eliminates interest in sex (it doesn’t) that would only be 7.41%
daannii@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s some b.s rfk was saying. That’s not the cause. Dysfunction is not the same as low sex drive. It can mean any number of things.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No anti-depressants here. I’m depressed as shit. Ladies?
Surp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
World of Warcraft 😁
ICastFist@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
There’s a considerable uptick just before 2010, so WoW players must’ve been having lots of sex during WotLK years
Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
From a top raid trainer at the time, “Knock down drag-out fight, killed 'em and looted ‘em. Finally log off at the end of the raid, and?’ WoW Players in WotLK say, ‘Tough fight. Boss is down, I’m alive. Finally get to bed at the end of the run, and?’ They all say, 'The best sex I’ve had in months.”
joel_feila@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Not enough foreskin in America
PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 2 weeks ago
You’d have to compare this graph to data from elsewhere in the world, though. Especially in the Western world.
Also, the fact that sex is less fun for men when most of their genitals’ nerve endings have been cut off does not mean it’s being performed less.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
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My first question about studies like this is always “how do they know this?”. And I while I know I could find the study and dig into the setsils, I don’t have to do that to know that this is the result of surveys taken over this time period. Unless technology develops to grant us a way to monitor and track the sex lives of people objectively and unobtrusively, that’s just the best way can do. So any conclusions drawn really should be “the decline in people’s surveyed frequency of sexual intercourse has gone down over time”. Just to throw out some baseless speculation: could people in the past inflated their answers to appear “cool” or similar? Could there be cultural shifts pressuring respondents to deflate their numbers now? Personally, I’m inclined to believe the results of the study ARE true, but I’m not confident in that.
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The decline of 3rd spaces, which is a big concept with multiple causes. Car-centric infrastructure, industrialization, women moving to the workforce, capitalism, technology, etc. It has become harder for people to have intimate personal interactions with others who live nearby. I believe the rise of things like social media, dating apps, and now AI companions is less about “hey we developed this new technology to replace and maybe be better than real human interaction” and more about “we need to develop something to replace what we have lost”.
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Consent. Reductions in arranged marriages and child marriages. Protections and rights for women and children.
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Economics. Everyone is overworked and tired. I’ve seen this in a lot of the other comments here but I actually don’t buy into this quite as much. There seems to be an inverse relationship between GDP per capita and birth rate, at least recently. Most of Europe, Japan, Australia, the US, Canada, Korea, and perhaps most notably… China. All have experienced declines in birthrates, and in a lot these cases there is good modern data showing the birth rates changing as these economies develop. The countries having the most children are poorer countries.
Now, it could be that these wealthier countries have access to birth control, so this does not necessarily dissolve economics as a factor. But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don’t factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.
Bruncvik@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
From my personal experience, the 3rd spaces is a huge thing. I’ve met my wife in such a space, and pre-Covid I’ve run a large Meetup group that focused on safe socialization (dinners, cinemas, hiking, art events). I’ve seen countless of hookups and dozens of marriages within that group. Covid pretty much killed Meetup groups on our area, so when we want to socialize all that’s left are pubs and clubs, and there I only see single-gender groups with no overlap. I doubt anyone is getting laid, and even if they do, chances of a meaningful relationship before actually knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, and common interests, are minimal.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My husband and I met on OKCupid, definitely not a traditional third space. But we met back in 2014, back when the site was still good. It’s algorithm was actually really good back then if you put the effort into actually filling out the quizzes and surveys. But as time has gone on, it seems they have really enshittified. Instead of helping people finding meaningful relationships, they just try to keep people subscribed for as long as possible. And my husband and I met on OKCupid without ever subscribing for anything; we never gave them a dime.
realitista@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
But, my own theory is that sex is one of the cheapest forms of entertainment available to humanity (if you don't factor in the costs of children). So the citizens of these wealthier countries are spending their time and money doing other things. Not just skii vacations or going yachting, but reading books and watching TV.
Spoken like a man who's never tried to get laid. Sex is expensive. Dressing nicely, being fit, being financially well off enough to attract a girl in the first place, then entertaining them, taking them out, etc. It's not easy to pull off if you are poor. Especially when compared to free porn on tap and the stagnation of the middle and lower classes for decades.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It seems you believe the myths that media wants to tell you about modern courtship. Yes, such shallow people exist. And yes, there are thresholds of hygiene and stability someone should be expected to meet. But a lot of women want to get laid just as bad as men, not for the money or the status but for the sex.
KaRunChiy@fedia.io 3 weeks ago
Bro the people I see getting the most pussy are free spirits without an ounce of stability in their lives
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nectar45@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
People are just not very attractive nowadays
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I blame the GenZ broccoli haircut.
downhomechunk@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
My wife and I go through hot & cold spells. I think we have similar drives, but our timing doesn’t always match up. I’m more of a “harness the power of the morning wood” sort of fellow. She’s more of a “I want it right now but he’s still at work” sort of gal. We both talk a big game, but work, childcare and adulting conspire against us.
BearGun@ttrpg.network 2 weeks ago
Gotta have both a partner and time to have sex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
So i’m part of the majority not having sex. Feels nice for once.
deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
I find computers endlessly fascinating and they are easier to understand than social interactions. If you took away easier forms of entertainment I would be seeking harder forms of entertainment. Probably also starting a revolution.
Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Do you think we will ever get to the point of “virtual sex” when you can experience something better than the real thing?
deaf_fish@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
Maybe, with genetic modification. I think sex has the knobs maxed out for our current chemistry.
glorkon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Well, I had my 18th birthday in 1994 and I put everyone off since then.
cley_faye@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d say a larger part of the population being aware that they can reject “unsolicited requests” is a part of it.
Also, it requires meeting people to some extent. That sounds boring.
riskable@programming.dev 3 weeks ago
I’m guessing this graph matches closely with anime viewing… The true amplifier of Japan’s population decline!
To solve this crisis, we must make catgirls real and unleash an army of bland
protagonistsyoung men with almost no personality that possess some overpowered skill. Such as the ability to stay thin despite the ready availability of sugary/processed foods.LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Probably depression, online dating ruining the entire dating world, and the economy sucking.
I remember growing up, you could go to a bar with friends, meet some people and there was always someone hooking up quickly. Or you grabbed a phone number and you were good for later.
Now it’s more “are you 6 foot tall?” “do you make six figures?” “what’s your snap or insta?” “are you a racist nazi that will murder me in my sleep?”
Then they can always say, ehhh, your not attractive enough for me, i’ll go on tinder and DM one of the 60 guys waiting for me. BYEEEEEEEE
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Sex in an unaffordable luxury and a deadly liability, I’m surprised it is still that high, I imagine those are people who didn’t stop to think about the wild and unnecessary risk they’re taking and how they’ll regret it functionally forever.
alekwithak@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
People are stretched as thin as can be and stressed beyond belief. Then during their free time they are inundated by algorithms that are made to keep them scrolling and to feel as many negative emotions as possible. Then their food is full of hormones and their food wrappers and cosmetics and toiletries are all full of phthalates and microplastics and undisclosed hormone disrupting chemicals. All in a progressively protestant society that increasingly isolates us from one another and shames us for our natural urges and feelings and bodies, all in the name of selling us unnatural solutions for these “problems.”
It’s a mystery though.
mienshao@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It’s not a mystery, it’s social media. This isn’t fucking hard folks.
Also, this study is by a conservative think tank and is biased as hell. They’re trying to force kids to marry young to have a bunch of children for “god’s army.” These “data” showing declining sex rates gives these conservatives fuel for their crusade. This is all also closely linked to the great replacement theory. None of this information should be taken at face value.