glorkon
@glorkon@lemmy.world
- Comment on [deleted] 16 hours ago:
An image of two men who don’t exist.
- Comment on Truck go 💥🚚 1 week ago:
Awww look at it, how cute, it wants belly rubs.
- Comment on That's an impressive drop. Any ideas why? 2 weeks ago:
Well, I had my 18th birthday in 1994 and I put everyone off since then.
- Comment on Llama 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on Right... 2 weeks ago:
I’m guessing he hasn’t consulted qualified people about his idea. Because those would have told him FUCK NO, don’t do it. Which puts him firmly into the category of deserved Darwin Award candidate.
- Comment on Right... 2 weeks ago:
That is all true, but desperation combined with a bad understanding of scientific facts and the unwillingness to at least make sure injecting your own semen isn’t a very bad idea, that’s no excuse.
- Comment on A tale of two shires 2 weeks ago:
In Germany, we call it “Wörtschestascheiasoße” and I think that’s beautiful.
- Comment on It's almost here 2 weeks ago:
Americans using Fahrenheit always make me think of this sketch by John Finnemore.
- Comment on Right... 2 weeks ago:
Okay, so, I like humanism, I don’t want people to die and all that.
But am I an asshole for secretly wishing they’d just let Darwin Award winners like this one remove themselves from the gene pool?
- Comment on Anon shares a family moment 4 weeks ago:
Get out of there as soon as you can. Always remember these moments. When your dad gets old and needs your help, tell him “only removeds need their sons to do stuff for them”.
- Comment on Stop acting entitled and just live your own life 5 weeks ago:
My God (I shall use upper case for him from now on because that somehow makes him seem more imposing) says all I have to do is find something in the scriptures that I can somehow reinterpret to mean exactly what I need to justify any of my arguments.
So, I hereby declare that I can certainly do that, because it says so in the holy scriptures: “At least it’s good to be on the winning side.” (Mother Goose & Grimm, April 29, 2001, Panel 4)
- Comment on Stop acting entitled and just live your own life 5 weeks ago:
Wait, so you’re telling me that if I pretend to believe in an imaginary being, I can feel special?
It sounds tempting. Can I also attack anyone personally if they question my belief as if they’ve attacked me as a person?
And I also always really wanted to tell people that they hate god, even though they say he doesn’t even exist. I’m sure this somehow violates every law of logic in existence, but I really want to.
Can I justify killing people for believing in the same god as me but slightly different?
Also, well, this one is a bit odd: I have this urge to tell people who they are allowed to have sex with. If your belief allows me to do all this, I’m on board.
- Comment on Stop acting entitled and just live your own life 5 weeks ago:
Here’s a crazy idea, hear me out: What if there is no god?
- Comment on missing 1 month ago:
You should try my cheeseburger, brother.
Patties are beef mixed with unholy amounts of shredded parmeggiano. Add extra mature cheddar. Glazed onions. Sour pickle. German extra strong mustard. And bacon marmalade.
- Comment on How Coldplay actually sounds 1 month ago:
His wife was shocked when she saw that picture because she had no idea he’s a Coldplay fan.
- Comment on Don't mess with me bro 1 month ago:
Americans think Big Bang Theory is the funniest sitcom ever, and whenever a foreign word sounds like a funny English one, they lose their shit. And then they tell Germans about their sense of humor…
- Comment on Don't mess with me bro 2 months ago:
There’s a satirical movement in Germany called “Front deutscher Äpfel” (front of German apples). One of their slogans is “Was gibt der deutschen Jugend Kraft? Apfelsaft! Apfelsaft!” (“What gives German youth strength? Apple juice! Apple juice!”) They would approve.
- Comment on US Politicians praying inside the House of Representatives 2 months ago:
If these people have their way, the USA will become a religious autocracy that respects human rights on a level comparable to that in Iran.
- Comment on Ideally 2 months ago:
Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
- Comment on I am two of them 2 months ago:
As much as it pains me to admit you’re right, you appear to have hit the nail on the head.
- Comment on I am two of them 2 months ago:
I believe there’s a much broader spectrum as straight, gay, bi. I was never sure where I belong on this scala.
Like, I thought I was straight during my entire teens. Sometimes in the early 2000s, I discovered the joys of online porn, and then found that the guys in porn sometimes seemed more interesting to me than they should. But having sex with a guy? No way. I thought.
So I spent my life, a below average looking guy, starved for sex for a long time, except the occasional awkward and underwhelming experience with humans of the female persuasion. Smoking a lot of weed to fill the internal void. One day, met a fellow weed smoker online. Lived nearby, gamer. Knew where to get good weed. After a couple of weeks we met. He told me he was gay. I was like, alright, sure. We played NHL Hockey and smoked a lot of weed. He asked me if he could suck my dick. Stoned as fuck, I said yes. Best blowjob I’ve ever had. But then, I ghosted him. Why? No idea. Couldn’t face the fact that I might be bi? Not sure to this day.
In my late 30s, I got married. And turns out once we were married, my wife turned asexual. So now I’m stuck in a straight life with no joy and no sex, getting closer to 50 every day. Even had to quit smoking weed. Boy, do I regret ghosting that guy.
So to this day, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t turn down a gay guy if an opportunity arose, even though I lean more towards women. I’m just a guy leading a sad existence in the closet and this comment turned out to be a much gloomier confession than I intended it to be when I started typing. Sorry.
- Comment on Alley cat lunch 2 months ago:
In Germany, we have pickled herring too, but this German is happy to admit that Hollandse Nieuwe reigns supreme.
- Comment on 2025 be vibin' 2 months ago:
I’ve started working in IT over 20 years ago. In my humble opinion, one of the keys is being specialized on something that not everyone else can do. Become proficient in a certain area - devops, quality assurance, security, whatever.
On top of that, try and acquire a niche skill that makes you the type of employee that’s hard to find and replace. For example, banks are really desperate to find Cobol experts because most of them are pensioners now.
I know it’s tough, and I wish you had it as easy as I did back in the days, but it’s all I can tell you, unfortunately.
- Comment on You ever just take a shit so huge it boosts your mood after? 3 months ago:
No because those usually clog my toilet.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
I’m doing that, but I need other people to do that as well.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Pretending doesn’t work for me, unfortunately. Gotta be real desire by real people for real me. It’s a curse.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Yes, they’d cybersex me without looking at my face, but that is precisely what would not at all fulfill my desire to be considered attractive.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
I commend you for your opinion, but would I believe I got hotter? No. And that’s the point.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Well, for me it really is the overwhelming desire of being found physically attractive by someone. Anyone. So relationships or one night stands, doesn’t really matter.
It’s literally an insane thought to me that even average looking girls don’t have a hard time attracting members of the opposite sex. But for me, any time I approached a girl, I got hit hard by rejection and humiliation. And now that I’m older, most women are married or in long-term relationships anyway, so things have become even more impossible. It’s become so ridiculous that the mere thought of being found desirable is a sexual turn on for me so I find myself imagining to be the woman when watching porn, even though I’m not attracted to men at all.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 months ago:
Absolutely, and I am aware of that - it’s really the case with me. I do not dislike being male. I just dislike being ugly - not many people can claim to have spent 20 years as an involuntary celibate like me. I’m almost 50 and it just feels like so much wasted time. Wasted youth, really.
Going trans wouldn’t solve the problem at all. Nothing will solve the problem, to be honest. I have accepted my fate.
