Submitted 1 day ago by Eyekaytee@aussie.zone to [deleted]
https://aussie.zone/pictrs/image/f99631e2-05b7-4bcc-bb00-9204bf65318b.jpeg
Just found this, I still laugh every time
Every time I tell a religious person I’m an atheist they either freeze up completely, which put a damper on the conversation, or they get very angry and tell me I’m disgraceful. My experience with religious people is that they are very uncool.
To be fair, they’ve been conditioned that atheists are basically guys driving around in unmarked vans offering kids candy because atheism is SUPER bad for their business.
You mean, I don’t have to get up on Sunday, I don’t have to be pressured to give 30% of my salary to the church, and I don’t have to deal with a bunch of racist, immoral pricks dotted around the congregation because they’re there for ‘forgiveness’ and I should be ‘accepting’ of that?
Just tell them you’re a Muslim or something
It’s their problem. I’m only on this planet to observe 😉
My parents made me go to Church growing up it’s probably the reason I’m a delinquent, it’s so fucking boring and I felt like my soul was being sucked out of energy
“They think they have it figured out, why are they so sad?”
Well Jimmy, when you realize religious fanatics would rather shoot homeless people then feed them, its a bit of a downer!
than*
“then” is for time, as in “afterwards”.
Unless OP means they shoot the homeless and afterwards attempt to feed them
They’re also happier when you’re not around, Jimmy.
then feed on them
The fact that I can’t tell if this is parody or not is sad.
It’s parody, but the word “witness” in this context gives me flashbacks regardless
More than a decade, I remember seeing it around 04 or 05.
Looks legit all the way down to the goat. Screams tribal dogma
It’s high-effort satire and the original site is now derelict but it originates from this page.
I had a ‘pastor’ try and witness to me yesterday, insisting that his spiritual experiences made him right, while the spiritual experiences of people that converted to Judaism or Islam meant they had been deceived by the devil.
It’s always funny how their experience could never have been caused by devil trickery, only the others’. Same as the divine revelation of the word, only theirs is truly divine and correct, unlike those filthy others
And they have the gall to act like they’re better than you because you’re working a mininum wage job on a Sunday.
“You should be in church right now!”
“If I was, then who the fuck would be serving you at Cracker Barrel right now?”
Buncha witnesses tried approaching me the other day as I was tending to my flower bed. I sprayed them with my water hose, and yelled “where is your god now, feel the might of my athiest hose, let its water soak sin into your skin” they started crying and saying “were gonna get our parents and they will call the cops”. Turns out the were “girl scouts” selling “cookies” and now I have a court date. At least I didn’t get witnessed, score one for this athiest
Bro scored a date
Tbh sin water sounds much cooler than “holy water.”
If you distrust someone because of their religious beliefs, you’re probably a bad person.
Then again, I don’t trust Christians. Hypocrisy at its finest.
If you distrust someone because of their religious beliefs, you’re probably a bad person.
Wait… why? Why is it bad to distrust someone who believes in an invisible friend who grants wishes well into their 30s?
Its worth nothing that most of these people were indoctrinated into their beliefs since they were born, and many of them attend church weekly to reaffirm their beliefs. They were raised surrounded by christians, were told christianity is true, think that if you question god you will be consciously tortured for eternity. They’re not just a bunch of idiots.
You can trust someone without expecting pure rationality from them
That’s why a friend of mine is a 37 y/o virgin. 3 more years and he can cut out the middle man.
Oh my god you people are real.
Y’all believe in the stock market don’t you?
If someone is claiming God is on their side, then absolutely they should not be trusted.
A good example was Huckabee’s message to Trump where he says he shouldn’t listen to humble old Huckabee, but he should listen to God, who, coincidentally, is saying exactly the same thing as Huckabee.
If you have your faith but make no assertions about it’s validity over other opinions nor that it confers divine authority to the words or deeds of any person, cool, I respect that faith. I’m inclined to have some faith myself, but I’m not about to claim any of it is more than my personal wild guesses and hope.
However organized religion is generally exploitable and bad people take advantage…
What does the verb “to witness for” mean?
To try to convert someone.
What is the deal with religious people and conversion therapy?
What kind of unchristian monster would want to stay home and rest on a Sunday instead of going to the enormous effort of getting the family into all your best clothes, going to the church and pretending to be socially acceptable and normal for a few hours and then cooking a massive meal like god intended?
“Day of rest” my ass, that sounds like a lot of work!
Looking nice and spending time reflecting on your morals and interacting with your community - ooooh nooooo!
I’m not religious, but seriously, it you remove all the “hate gay people” rhetoric, going to church is a positive thing for both the individual and the community. Hating on it just makes you look like a neckbeard.
Going to church is a way to make people conform. Maybe, once upon a time, we needed belief in supernatural beings to cope with the world. I choose to believe in the world the Enlightenment started. I wasn’t raised with any religion and I still learned how to be a good person and good member of society.
Sorry. It’s great that you find peace and love in your faith and I have love for everyone who does.
My comment was in response to the terrible atheist guy in the image wanting to stay home on Sunday and the church promoting Sunday as a day of rest in reflection of God resting on the seventh day of creation. Getting you and your family dressed up, acting normal (at least for me) and then making a meal is not how I would present a restful day.
Let’s reverse it a little…
What kind of unchristian monster would want to stay home and self isolate on Sunday instead of going through the routine of dressing up and going to church to spend time in chill and self reflective manner and socialising a bit afterwards just to go home after that and have a family dinner?
I have nothing against anyone lol. Believe, or don’t, into anything <3 Or nothing.
He isn’t sitting quietly by himself, he’s self-isolating.
I’m not even a atheist really and preachers were telling me co workers to not witness for me. My statements were hard to dismiss and their bullshit has too many holes in it. I made one of my co workers fellow god bothers get up and leave when I told them why their devil would never tempt me. It wasn’t even my concept. I read a very short story one time about the devil being reluctant to offer deals anymore. It was afraid someone would ask for something that would destroy it. Of course the next guy asked for it. What he asked for went something like this.
“Without any change in myself whatsoever I wish to be the most evil soul to have or will exists.”
That is when they told my coworker terry to never bring up jesus with me again. It was a great day for me and I told him It was a victory for me.
I was talking to a guy a guy with a Mr.Gruff tattoo and was just staring at it and must have had an odd expression because he pointed at it and says, “This one? You recognize it from that tract meme, he’s Mr Gruff.”
This dude is from a obscure Disney Channel show that apparently ran for 39 episodes.
I’m sure this comment section will be civil and not at all toxic in any way.
Ah, the fairy tale nazis are spreading their propaganda again…
rumba@lemmy.zip 8 hours ago
Straw goat attack. He’s not angry, he’s just tired of religious people trying to convert him.
minkymunkey_7_7@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Not to mention how many of his ancestors were sacrificed by so many different religions and demonified the image of goats.
rumba@lemmy.zip 8 hours ago
To their credit, he and his ancestors are delicious with a little curry.