Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.
A very curious situation indeed
Submitted 10 months ago by bergetfew@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/ca3bcfdd-cf41-4412-93df-a27b9408b96b.webp
Comments
TimeNaan@lemmy.world 10 months ago
shneancy@lemmy.world 10 months ago
without a base without a trace
just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible aduly
Havald@lemmy.world 10 months ago
What I can’t see can’t hurt me
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Rooskie91@discuss.online 10 months ago
Get an only fans page and cash in on people’s weird fetishes.
brown567@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my “ass hole”
Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague
gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Butt plug
hoch@lemmy.world 10 months ago
E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper
thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 10 months ago
do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Try not to finish too quickly
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 10 months ago
People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
I think your username is more appropriate here
DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That’s genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I’m compelled to do it every single time.
Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 10 months ago
Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 10 months ago
Glue a gecko to my taint?
HowAbt2day@futurology.today 10 months ago
What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?
daggermoon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
butt plug
ftbd@feddit.org 10 months ago
I’ve seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Sit back, relax, and enjoy myself.
MrShankles@reddthat.com 10 months ago
Open wide
tino@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Fight back. Eat chili.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Well, enough insects out there are venomous/poisonous so you probably wouldn’t survive long anyway.
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 10 months ago
Open wide
MrShankles@reddthat.com 10 months ago
Damn, I just responded to a comment with the exact same thing. Great minds I guess
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Formiphilia is like the worst fetish…🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
monogram@feddit.nl 10 months ago
Buy a dilator
loomy@lemy.lol 10 months ago
obv die
shalafi@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they’ll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I’m considering a new horror short.
db2@lemmy.world 10 months ago
A great deal of what we’d call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can’t see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Start by switching from boxers to briefs.
kshade@lemmy.world 10 months ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Die for a good cause to spare Earth from the immediate ecological collapse of all bugs going to one place.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 10 months ago
Start an only fans, some freaks out there and I’m finna get rich
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Enjoy my last day on earth with a citronella candle up my ass
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I choked on my coffee when this scrolled on screen.
Soapbox@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
I guess I’m going to live in a beekeeper suit treated with permethrin.
Gates9@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Feral hogs
Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Take a looong bath.
Insects can’t survive under water
beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 10 months ago
If I may introduce: your newest nightmare en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_diving_beetle
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Wear pants.
Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 10 months ago
Maybe I can keep riding trains until most of them have died from exhaustion.
halvar@lemy.lol 10 months ago
who needs insects up their assholes i got fucking mosquitoes trying to kill me just here
SassyRamen@lemmy.world 10 months ago
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn’t have to be all bad.