Buy lifelong supply of wine corks.
A very curious situation indeed
Submitted 2 months ago by bergetfew@sopuli.xyz to [deleted]
https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/ca3bcfdd-cf41-4412-93df-a27b9408b96b.webp
Comments
TimeNaan@lemmy.world 2 months ago
shneancy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
without a base without a trace
just get yourself a lifetime supply of buttplugs like a responsible aduly
Havald@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What I can’t see can’t hurt me
I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Rooskie91@discuss.online 2 months ago
Get an only fans page and cash in on people’s weird fetishes.
brown567@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Rapidly dig a small hole in the ground and resolve to place a donkey in it. This is now my “ass hole”
Then run away as fast as possible to survive the impending insect plague
gratux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Butt plug
hoch@lemmy.world 2 months ago
E-stim version doubles as a bug zapper
thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 2 months ago
do you really need the threat of butthole bugs to wear a butt plug though?
Derpenheim@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Try not to finish too quickly
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 2 months ago
People like you are what makes the world a unique and beautiful place.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
I think your username is more appropriate here
DeceasedPassenger@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Immediately kill myself as quick as possible. That’s genuinely one of my worst fears is being entered by a bug. I have an obsessive habit of wiping the inside/underneath the lip of the toilet every time I use it just in case there could be a spider. There has never been a spider. Yet I’m compelled to do it every single time.
Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Lucky you, I just imagine one of those hawaiian centipedes snuggly chilling there and looking for a home
BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 2 months ago
Glue a gecko to my taint?
HowAbt2day@futurology.today 2 months ago
What part of the gecko are gonna glue to that dainty taint?
daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
butt plug
ftbd@feddit.org 2 months ago
I’ve seen so many of these, I forgot what the guy actually looks like
Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I remember him looking basically like an IASIP character who might try to turn Mac straight and ruin his marriage in the attempt
Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Sit back, relax, and enjoy myself.
MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Open wide
tino@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Fight back. Eat chili.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Im always that guy but i would go to some kind of official or something so they csn investigate it because thats some freaky shit. Also to not ruin the whole fucking ecosystem of earth id guess theres a range on it? Thats what i would try to figure out so i can keep em out. Of course if i dont act in time and/or fail to accomplish my mission to keep em out of my ass i would just violently fucking kill myself. Its not worth it to live with fucking bugs in your ass.
OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Well, enough insects out there are venomous/poisonous so you probably wouldn’t survive long anyway.
FQQD@lemmy.ohaa.xyz 2 months ago
Open wide
MrShankles@reddthat.com 2 months ago
Damn, I just responded to a comment with the exact same thing. Great minds I guess
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Formiphilia is like the worst fetish…🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮
monogram@feddit.nl 2 months ago
Buy a dilator
loomy@lemy.lol 2 months ago
obv die
shalafi@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Station my chameleon by my booty and prepare to shoot myself in the face.
Imagine every insect that can walk, crawl, or fly bombarding your dwelling. Fuck it, throw arachnids in there as well. They will find a way in, you will be covered head-to-toe in swarming insects of 1,000 varieties.
Depending on where you live, you got a hour, maybe a whole day. But they’ll eventually break the windows and doors. At that time, your ass will belong to them.
In other news, I’m considering a new horror short.
db2@lemmy.world 2 months ago
A great deal of what we’d call insects outside of the scientific community are so small you can either barely see them or can’t see them at all unaided. The larger bugs would be getting sloppy seconds.
peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Start by switching from boxers to briefs.
kshade@lemmy.world 2 months ago
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Die for a good cause to spare Earth from the immediate ecological collapse of all bugs going to one place.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Start an only fans, some freaks out there and I’m finna get rich
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Enjoy my last day on earth with a citronella candle up my ass
Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I choked on my coffee when this scrolled on screen.
Soapbox@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
I guess I’m going to live in a beekeeper suit treated with permethrin.
Gates9@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Feral hogs
Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Take a looong bath.
Insects can’t survive under water
beebarfbadger@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If I may introduce: your newest nightmare en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_diving_beetle
I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Wear pants.
Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 2 months ago
Maybe I can keep riding trains until most of them have died from exhaustion.
halvar@lemy.lol 2 months ago
who needs insects up their assholes i got fucking mosquitoes trying to kill me just here
SassyRamen@lemmy.world 2 months ago
First, I save this meme to my phone.
Second, I attempt to legally enter the US.
Third, I have all my rights revoked and get kidnapped by ICE.
Fourth, I wait and watch as the insects all get eaten before they can get to me.
See, being detained by Trump and his lizard people doesn’t have to be all bad.