[deleted]
Her: no offense but
Narrator: but there was much offense
[deleted]
Submitted 1 day ago by 12emm@lemmy.world to mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world
Comments
ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
threshold_dweller@lemmy.today 1 day ago
I thought that looked more like Gordon, but its an extra old episode of Thomas.
And in looking that up, I also learned that face is Thomas reacting to an asshole cop.
CompostMaterial@lemmy.world 1 day ago
As someone who is moderately successful and lives in a major Metropolitan area but had a poor, country upbringing; I get it.
I have tried taking my parents to nice upscale restaurants, both so that they could experience something they otherwise would never have been able to and also as a showcase to them of my success. It was very clear that they did not fit into those environments and I have since stopped trying to bring them up and just meet them where they are, but I do get it.
tburkhol@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m from a reasonably upper-middle class background; reasonably successful in a top-10 metro. So’s my brother, but he’s gone the McMansion & country club route where I’ve tended more modest. I don’t like visiting them. Their environment just rings all my class warfare buttons, triggers all my “you don’t belong here” warnings & the obsequiousness at the restaurants & venues they prefer is just gross. I mean, I’m a middle-aged white guy, dressed like all the other mf’s in the neighborhood, so I do “belong;” it just feels wrong.
Everybody gotta find their own comfort zone, and we have to appreciate that our friends & family can have different tastes. Sometimes, that does mean dressing up in funny costume & hanging out in uncomfortable spaces to share in their joy, but there’s tactful ways to explain/prepare your fam for unfamiliar situations, and there’s “Come here and let me dress you.”
wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I grew up where my dad’s family was rich (but not mcmansion country club people) and my moms family was dirt poor. They divorced and I grew up with my mom and saw her struggle to feed us and had to work as soon as I was old enough. I like to think I saw both sides, but definitely had more privilege than most.
Those mcmansion people are the worst. My step dad’s brother was one, and he embezzled his own mother’s life savings and lost them. I’ve met tons of them through my dad’s connections and hearing them talk about how workers always wanted too much while owning multiple homes, new luxury cars, and staying in huge hotel suites was gross (I got brought to a few penthouse parties).
I’ve seen my mom penny pinch, but I never had to feel the struggle that poor people do fully. My grandparents were rich but would always look after people (there was a lineup to my grandpa’s funeral because the church couldn’t fit everyone). Mcmansion rich people are the worst. They can do so much more for their community but they’d rather have stuff and luxury.
BlueLineBae@midwest.social 1 day ago
I’ve experienced this to a similar degree. Most of my family are small town people and I grew up without money in a small town. I moved to Chicago where I’ve been relatively successful and want to share some of the experiences I’ve had with the people I love. But I think the best test of whether or not I can actually include someone in certain activities is how they show up to a funeral. The reason that this is a good test is because you can tell who put in even a smidgen of effort to try to look nice and be respectful and who didn’t. And having grown up without a lot of money, I can tell you right now that it doesn’t cost much to go to the thrift store to get something that looks even a little bit nice even if it’s not standard. The last funeral I went to, you could immediately tell which family members didn’t try at all and just showed up in sweat pants and tshirts. Those are the people I wouldn’t take to certain places. Id maybe take them to touristy places, but that’s about it.
treadful@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
If my sweet hoodie means you won’t take me with you to cool places, that just makes my hoodie a better friend.
Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This is ofc a legit thing, could you call it a culture clash? But anyway, there are ways to approach that with more tact than the daughter in the screenshot :)
CompostMaterial@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Honestly, that is just maturity. I read the daughter to be in their 20s and I hope they are because then I can excuse it. If they are in their 40s, we’ll then that is just sad. I certainly looked down on my poor family when I was younger, now that I am older I treat it more as a lesson of how far I have come with hard work and gratefulness for being able to escape it.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I think I would be 100% on your side here if you indicated the extreme lack of tact on display in the post.
KeenFlame@feddit.nu 1 day ago
You embarrass me
Words uttered only by narcissists and parents
CompostMaterial@lemmy.world 1 day ago
And every teenager on the planet. Granted teenagers are huge narcissists, but they are supposed to be.
MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Nah, sometimes people actually act inappropriately. I had to point this out to my brother and his wife because they fight very aggressively in front of others. I don’t like apologizing to people because they witnessed this.
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
There’s plenty of good restaurants where you don’t have to look or act fancy. I’ve spent 1k on a meal without alcohol for my GF and I in a place where you fit in wearing jeans and a t-shirt and you can talk about whatever the fuck you want with your friends and nobody cares. You could make anyone discover tons of new types of foods without having them feel bad about who they are…
jeena@piefed.jeena.net 1 day ago
Urgh, I'm not sure I would want to attend. If it was a wedding I would swallow my pride but for a party it's probably not worth it.
HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 1 day ago
I’m with you. Just say that you have a thing in the French Riviera or some shit and won’t be back in time. Here’s a $35 Walmart gift card.
PoastRotato@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Bonus points if you scribble in a “le Walmart” with a sharpie
kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Personally I dont get wanting to impress a bunch of capitalists and their families
SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This is the perfect time to dress fancy on the way in while smuggling in a bag of clothes. Change in the bathroom then come out in overalls, a dirty trucker cap, a “Marlboro Cigarettes” t shirt and workboots. “Too upscale?”
sxan@midwest.social 1 day ago
🤝
Still a bit too upscale, though. I was thinking, top to bottom:
- semi-transparent green sun visor
- really work on that mustache; if it’s too full, thin it out until it’s scraggly and wispy
- the Marlboro logo idea is great, but I think here you have to sacrifice to advertise that you’re “The Father of the Bride,” complete with printed bow-tie at the neck
- Cargo shorts
- Calf socks
- Sandals, but not Birkenstock! Make sure it’s a cheap brand
- Don’t forget a profusion of temporary tattoos on your calfs and arms! Extra points if they look poorly done and faded.
- you can get black teeth caps that make it look like you’re missing teeth. Don’t skimp on accessories!
And, most importantly: a fanny pack.
I’ll admit, it’s mixing metaphors a bit, but at this point you’re shooting for more than just looking poor; you’re aiming beyond sheer embarrassment. You need to attain complete mortification.
MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Why attend if you cannot be yourself? Why is the daughter embarrassed of who she is?
RBWells@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Honestly one of the things I’m grateful for, is having had both rich family and very poor family. The thing about actually rich people is they don’t care, in my experience they are pretty gracious as long as you are relaxed. Dress to the absolute minimum of what is required (I’ve gotten away with $20 dresses and good shoes and nobody batted an eye.)
If you can keep the clothes, get stuff you like, negotiate for a spa day, get your hair done, keep the style very, very simple and outshine them all! You can do it!
Or you could decline the invite, if you aren’t interested in a fancy dress ball.
SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Truly rich people just want you to be interesting. The nouveau riche, or wanna bes, are obsessed with crap like designer labels and cookie cutter luxury brands.
MothmanDelorian@lemmy.world 1 day ago
They want you to be normal and nice like anyone else
dwindling7373@feddit.it 1 day ago
I’d kinda assume I may have played a role in my daughter upbringing…
12emm@lemmy.world 1 day ago
[deleted]bassomitron@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Agreed. Parents and kids’ childhoods do play a huge role in how they ultimately turn out. However, there are near infinite variables during their development, many of which are completely outside our control. The best thing we can do is like you said, educate, mentor, and physically and emotionally support them as best we can. Sometimes, kids just grow into douchebag adults.
Anyway, OP, at the party you should totally just act like Mac, Charlie, and Dennis when they steal Frank’s credit card and think they’re rich.
thefartographer@lemm.ee 1 day ago
But we have so much experience! I, too, was once a child for nearly 18 years! /s
hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
I’ve only ever heard mostly people without kids saying this.
Stupid people without kids. I don’t have 'em but I have a functioning cerebral cortex so I can’t even fathom saying something like that out loud
dwindling7373@feddit.it 1 day ago
I can consistently sway my friends toward behaviours that are acceptable to me. I fail to see how this would somewhat be diminished in a parenting role.
What you are saying is that education is pointless and people comes out of random number generators.
OmegaMan@lemmings.world 1 day ago
Yeah no idea what he’s even trying to insinuate here. You didn’t raise her rich?
Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
Woah, pets are not pets you train either. Pets can be just as nuanced in personality as a kid. (Our dog is currently sassier than our child and doesn’t care for Dad jokes, our kid loves the dad jokes though).
Empricorn@feddit.nl 1 day ago
You folks are way too mild with your criticism. “I’m so excited for this party, let’s go shopping for our outfits together! My boyfriend is even going all-out and offering fancy outfit budgets!”
This works so much better, doesn’t embarrass the parent for not having the money to dress up in expensive clothes.
As for the rest, wanting your parents to “look the part”? WTF? The “part” is who they are, not trying to look like someone else! And keep in mind, this isn’t a wedding or anything, this is just a party thrown at a whim by a rich dude.
Lastly, if your parents are the type to genuinely embarrass you, it’s probably wise to not invite them. By the same token, if someone tells me “how to behave and what to say”, they can fuck all they way off. Unless it’s for a total wedding. I will totally take etiquette classes if someone invites me!
BassTurd@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I think this definitely reads way worse than it is. I grew up in small town Iowa, and most adults from my town would not handle upscale and fancy well. It would be like if I went to Buckingham and was expected to know proper etiquette.
This definitely has asshole phrasing, and probably is just a shitty person, but I can empathize with the core idea.
TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 1 day ago
This was my impression. What to say may mean just proper etiquette, not lying about going to Aspen. I mean, the asshole wants to invite you to a party, buy you nice new clothes, and tell you how to blend in; it doesn’t sound like much of an asshole phrased that way.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
invite you to a party
Okay, fine, but I don’t like most parties.
buy you nice new clothes
That I’ll wear once and donate.
and tell you how to blend in
No thanks, I like me.
Makeitstop@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I grew up poor in a fairly cosmopolitan city, and I still felt like I was going to crawl out of my own skin the first time I went to a slightly dressy business event. I have no fucks to give anymore, but back in the day, this would have probably been a fairly reasonable disaster preparedness plan if I had to be invited to something formal with a lot of social expectations that I was not familiar with.
It’s walking into a different culture, and while the hosts should be understanding, it can be reasonable to prepare someone who isn’t familiar with the culture before sending them in. Still, no need to be a dick about it.
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Man I would show up wearing muddy cowboy boots and a sleeveless shirt and refuse change clothes
3dmvr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Isnt that why theyd even have to buy you clothes and teach you how to act, in that case if I were them id feel better about saying that becuase you proved my point
ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Honest to god I would probably, politely, decline the invitation.
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Invite your own earthling friends and crash the party
independantiste@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Makeitstop@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Reminds me of my cousin. Her parents are lovely people, but they are not exactly… refined. Her dad in particular makes a first impression that I’d describe as a somewhat toned down Earnest P Worrell. And while he isn’t stupid he never learned a lot of important life skills and his past mistakes have have caused a fair amount of hardship, and that only fuels the resentment.
By the time she was in high school it was clear my cousin was ashamed to be associated with her family. She kept her home life and social life as far apart as possible, and she was always excited to spend time with members of our extended family that she saw as much more normal. (Especially funny to me since my mom made that list and I’ve seen that woman scratch herself with the cutlery while dining out). She was also pretty fucking rude to her parents, openly talking crap about them while they were in the room. Very shitty, but not exactly shocking for a teenager in her position.
Fast forward to today when my aunt and uncle own a hipstery restaurant, while my cousin got knocked up ended marrying a contractor / meth head.
NABDad@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Time to break out the straw hat and bib overalls.
Maybe even blacken a few teeth.
Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Careful, beat up work attire is now high fashion.
InEnduringGrowStrong@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
The shopping/dressing part, imho, is whatever, maybe even cute.
Kids being wary of parental embarrassment is as old as time.That last message though is really the big one: how to behave and what to say.
Disclaimer: I know nothing about your daughter, the following isn’t meant as advice.
On one hand, she wants you to be part of this.
On the other hand, it seems like covering up who you are is (mostly?) to cover up who she poeple might think she is?
It’s like she’s worried that people there will think she doesn’t belong if it is made evident that you don’t. I think she’s worried about not fitting in herself and you bringing attention to that fact.
Asking you to play a role is kinda wack… but then it may be that she’s been thinking all this time that she has to be playing the part too. Idk if cute or sad or both. Impostor syndrome in a relationship maybe, idk.Honey, just hire actors at this point.
Me? I’d go all in.
Full-on wizard staff and pipe, or the old monopoly monocle look.
If I’m about to dress up and play a role, I might as well play as someone from the wait staff or go all out medieval bourgeois and convince people I’m a noble from a far off land that no one there has heard about, like Earl of Canada.Sorry we’re late, customs was being picky about sword lengths and I had to leave another trebuchet to one of them meddlesome varlets.
A den of savages.
We couldn’t find the stables, my dear, if you’d be so kind as to have one of your footmen help the stable boy.Treczoks@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The words “Beverly Hillbillies” come to mind…
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 1 day ago
If others aren’t familiar with the TV show “Beverly Hillbillies”, it was a show in the 60s and in syndication when I was growing up. It consists of of a family from the Ozarks who move to Beverly Hills. They continue to live life like they always have, but now in CA with rich neighbors. When the neighbors see this, they look down at them.
I remember there were neighbors who tried to get them to leave the neighborhood or try to trick them in some way. But the family would always outsmart them while maintaining the moral high ground.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It is available on YT. Quote, from memory: “They gave me 125 dollars for the swamp, but I’m not sure what kind. I know gold dollars and silver dollars, and even those newfangled paper dollars, but what is a mllion dollar?”
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 day ago
I need to watch this show
3dmvr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Is it pretend being rich, or do yall just wear costco brand everywhere, it’s not bad, just tacky, places have dress codes, is the party indoors? Do you guys never dress up? Whats the context. You could be showing up looking like homer simpson to a formal black tie event?
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The fuck’s wrong with Kirkland brand anything?
kandoh@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Isn’t Kirkland based in Belarus? So you’re helping an economy that’s aiding Russia against Ukraine if you buy Kirkland.
Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
12emm@lemmy.world 1 day ago
[deleted]3dmvr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Thats how you make connections and steal some of their wealth for yourself, you have to play the stupid games
3dmvr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
I would just not go in that case, its not exactly a family event or something that matters? only reason would be to do/see rich ppl shit where you’re expected to act a certain way and you din’t like that
AA5B@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Costco has some excellent clothes that I’d be proud to wear anywhere, including some presentable casual (such as khakis and polos). Usually these are regular brands and it’s the more basic stuff that’s store brand. Alas, no tall sizes so I can’t.
The problem is choosing the extra casual clothes, from Costco or otherwise
foggy@lemmy.world 1 day ago
🚩
You’re not an accessory. What a twat.
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 day ago
Oh no. I’m washing my hair that night. Enjoy your clowning fakery.
friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This person obviously hasn’t seen Cars 2.
possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
That’s funny
Anyway you know what you have to do (embarrass her)
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I would most definitely not go.
DrBob@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
I understand this 100%. My father imagined himself to be a character and the life of the party. He would dress like a biker no matter the affair. He had been a systems analyst on big iron.
Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 1 day ago
I’d embarrass her so hard after talking to me like that.
shawn1122@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Same. No one wipes a kids ass for 2.5 years to be spoken to like that. I get kids and teenagers can be a little rough around the edges but this sounds like a grown adult.
HornedMeatBeast@lemmy.world 1 day ago
looool, no.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 1 day ago
“Dressing us up won’t keep us from embarassing you.”
GladiusB@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m showing up in flip flops and making scene
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Why bother flying there to just cause problems. Just send them back a text that says you want support her lying to his family and if your embarrassed of who we are then it’s best we don’t attend.
exothermic@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’ll be the one dressed up as, acting like, and quoting Rodney Dangerfield from caddyshack.