Anon introduces himself
Submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/d229aa4e-5f9c-4083-97ee-f33ed06d5d91.jpeg
Comments
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 3 months ago
M137@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Nems Bernd, Jeums Bernd.
Zozano@aussie.zone 3 months ago
Principal:
“OK this kid is fucking based, I’ll reward him with a week off”
PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 3 months ago
When I went to school, one kid during that exercise said that his name was so-and-so, and one thing he liked to do was stick his thumb up his ass.
He was known as “Thumbs” for the next four years, possibly longer. I actually don’t think I ever learned his name, he was just Thumbs.
superduperpirate@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Surely older than 4th grade, puberty for boys tends to not happen until 6th or 7th grade.
Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Definitely a learning experience for that kid.
MrShankles@reddthat.com 3 months ago
I can see it now… I’m called first; I don’t know what an adjective is (I still struggle); I panic from the social anxiety of stage fright; I awkwardly try to say anything at all, so I can sit the fuck down and move on; so I say, “Really Richard”
I’m told that’s an adverb, and I need to use an adjective. Now I’m pale as a ghost and about to faint from the panic. I stutter, “Richmond Richard?”. I’m informed that’s a proper noun, so I quickly try again (visibly sweating) spouting, “Reading Richard!”… and am told to sit down, because that was a noun and I’ve now been assigned extra homework on grammar.
Someone snickers and says “Retarded Richard” in a low voice. The entire class laughs, the teacher is doing their best not to crack a smile (but I can tell), and I am henceforth known as “Retarded Richard” until graduation and beyond.
Adverbs, adjectives, verbs… prepositions! I’m in a living nightmare. There is no waking up from this. I am, forever, “Retarded Richard”
m0darn@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
At least Removed Richard keeps it as an adjective instead of making it a verb.
serenissi@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Why your screenshot looks more beautiful than usual greentexts?
Trollception@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
They used an AI upscaler to enhance the details
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 3 months ago
What is my purpose? You enhance shitposts.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 3 months ago
Zoomed in before screenshotting
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 months ago
This actually happened, btw
rtxn@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Are you Richard?
adarza@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
a 9 yo kid getting a week suspension at the start of the school year simply and only because he called himself ‘removed’. idts
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Yeah I was there in the room I was the teacher
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 months ago
That’s dumb dick to his friends
tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 months ago
crummy cock to his acquaintances
ICastFist@programming.dev 3 months ago
I wonder what Zelda came up with for that introduction
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 3 months ago
“Xylophone Zelda”. Really fucked over Xenias introduction
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Uh, xylophone doesn’t start with Z, back to kindergarten until you learn your letters.
itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 months ago
Gotta be xenophobic Xenia now, sorry, I don’t make the rules
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I don’t know what’s worse, naming your kid after a fox that uses Linux or a suburb of Dayton.
_stranger_@lemmy.world 3 months ago
“Zyougottabekiddingme Zelda”
itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 months ago
depending how she’s feeling, zany, zen or zealous?
Or zonked, if she smoked a fat dart beforehand
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 months ago
Zealous?
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
Zooted Zelda (she on coke)
TwanHE@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Would zooted even work in that case? Don’t usually see it used for uppers
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 3 months ago
Zesty ofc
Rusty@lemmy.ca 3 months ago
Zazzy
Atomic@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
As an outsider, it’s wild to me that you can/could get suspended from school so easily.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
You can’t.
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I’m concerned but someone must tell you: Greentexts are not real stories
Atomic@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
I know they are unverified stories. But I have spent a decent amount of time in the US and everyone I know personally have a similar story of someone being suspended for something stupid.
This is simply a catalyst for those memories of mine.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 months ago
The schools I as at growing up you wouldn’t have gotten this as a punishment until like your 10th strike. You’d get increasingly severe suspensions. One to five days in school suspension then one to five days out of school suspension. Then you got expelled. It’s possible OP doesn’t remember correctly how long they were suspended. It’s also possible this post is a lie, but I’m being generous.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 months ago
As an American, you’d have to have a conversation with the principal and possibly be forced to hang out with the special needs kids at the school I went to. And yeah the administration would not have seen the ablism inherent in making the disabled kids spend time with a dipshit who just said something offensive about them despite them not having done anything wrong
Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 months ago
Growing up in the 80s and 90s that’s what the teacher would have called us.
Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 3 months ago
I can’t come up with anything better, can anyone else?
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 3 months ago
We had a dude called Richard in primary school that went blank at the thought of a nickname. Obviously, as responsible classmates we helped him out, and he was christened Romanian Richard.
Richard was not Romanian, nor did he have any ties to the fine country of Romania.
Whatever inexplicable logic that was at play here, directed that he should have the last ten seconds of the Taz-Mania theme sung to him repeatedly, sorta like:
“Richard Romanian,
Richard Romanian,
Richard Romanian,
We mean you!”
Before making the appropriate Taz noises finishing with a raspberry in close proximity to his face. What was really weird, was that Richard didn’t appreciate this new fame and form of address, which was a real shame because everyone else did and it was highly entertaining before teachers got involved, parents got called, and it was saved for the days when Richard was really being a oil-fired arsehole.
These were the days before we drew the line from Richard to Dick, you must understand.
Agent641@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Reliable
Respectable
Resplendent
Remarkable
Relativistic
Reprehensible
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 3 months ago
Reasonable Richard
Hoimo@ani.social 3 months ago
Rich Richard too obvious for you ri**ards?
stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
Daring Dick
Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 months ago
I went to school with a kid called Richard Dick.
Nice lad, but somebody hadn’t thought that through.
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 months ago
Dirty Dick
MrShankles@reddthat.com 3 months ago
Deadly Dick
VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 3 months ago
Delicious Dick
jimmux@programming.dev 3 months ago
They called him Rich-tard for short.
But he got the last laugh when rich 'tards ruled the country.
rony4102@programming.dev 3 months ago
Thanks for the good chuckle
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 3 months ago
How old are they that they called labeled as ableist? This would not have happened in 2000s elementary
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 3 months ago
I don’t know - the term “ableist” has certainly spiked in popularity in the last ten years or so, but even in the 90’s you’d get a bollocking for throwing around the terms “mong” or “spaz” or “flid” within earshot of a teacher.
I mean, I can see why - I hate the terms myself, but when you’re in single digits of age, it’s just used as another derisory term rather than a specific slight at someone’s physical or mental development challenges.
It still got you in hot water if you were daft enough to get caught shouting it though.
oce@jlai.lu 3 months ago
I’m not native and I discovered the word by reading a Lemmy community’s rules.
_stranger_@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I had a teacher in the 90’s call me a spaz.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 3 months ago
Were you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college
PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat 3 months ago
Hm.
books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ableist&yea…
They could be in 4th grade in 2010, and be 25 now posting this. I could also believe that elementary school teachers could be among the first 5% of people to adopt a new super-inclusive type of brand new lefty language that’s just starting to be used for a new type of friendly inclusiveness in 2000.
Kitathalla@lemy.lol 3 months ago
Elementary school teachers are also more likely to crack down on any sort of insulting language in general. I remember when I was a kid in the 4th grade, our teacher would punish us for asking, “So?” So was short for ‘So what?’ At the time it was (sometimes properly, give me a break, Mrs. H) a way to insultingly say that someone else’s statement was meaningless.
It wasn’t because it was ableist, or anything else you could point a finger to except insulting, and teachers head that sort off interaction off early.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 months ago
Makes sense.
I’m about 10 years older and have never heard the term in person, only in lefty online communities like Lemmy. I even took an ASL class from a deaf person (highly recommend, though maybe my teacher just rocked) as an adult with my SO, and we didn’t even use the term “ablism,” but instead just “hearing” to describe people who aren’t deaf (so the concept, not the term). That would’ve been mid to late 2010s, IIRC.
Couple that with the claimed suspension in 4th grade, and I have serious doubts any of this happened. To get suspended, you need to be starting fist fights or something, even cussing or intentionally insulting people would probably only land normal detention.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 3 months ago
Interesting!
JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 months ago
Could be that they didn’t say ableist at the time it happened but anon remembers it that way it just tells it that way.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 3 months ago
True, can’t trust it anyways
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 months ago
I was in 1st grade for 9/11 and I’m too damn old for 4chan (30)