Comment on Anon introduces himself
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 4 days agoWere you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college
Really? I was in a pretty medium sized city (30-40k people, suburb of 1M+ city), and we used it all the time as kids. I have kids about the age of OP and live in a similar sized city, and I catch my kids using similar language.
I grew up in a liberal area and now live in a conservative one. It would take a lot more effort than that to get suspended from elementary school, you basically need to actually beat someone up or use drugs in school to do that.
Are you saying used the word ableist? Or the r word? I’m saying the r word was used frequently in elementary and middle school and wonder how young OP must be.
I have literally never heard “ableist” in real life.
We used the word “retard” (the R word in case it gets censored on your instance) a ton as kids to insult each other (e.g. for doing poorly at something), and I’ve heard my kids say it as well. I personally don’t see the word nearly as problematic as the n word, because I’ve literally never heard it used to insult someone with an actual mental disability (have heard “mental retardation” [censor?] to describe such a condition though), it’s only used to tease friends.
I crack down on it, but mostly because we have a few people with such conditions in our community and I’d hate for them to be offended at something my kids say off hand. I don’t see it as “ableist” or whatever, and most don’t seem to associate it with people’s actual mental development, and instead I hear “slow,” which is much less censored and IMO more offensive since it sounds like you’re trying to hide a more ugly word in the hope that they won’t understand (and I bet they do). I crack down on any potential slurs, but it wasn’t that long ago that “idiot” meant much the same as “retard” (again, potential censored r word) does now, so banning its use just retards (“slows”, if censored) that process.
I think “the left” (not sure who to point at here, but they largely seem leftist) have gone too far down the “inclusive language” rabbit hole here and often do harm than good (e.g. “latinx” is offensive because it came from English speakers, not the Latino community). Creating special terms just highlights differences instead of focusing on similarities, which IMO causes more problems than it solves. But I also don’t want to offend anyone, so I try to enforce clean language and stick to technical terms (and not academic terms that dance around the issue) for things when I’m unsure of the acceptable parlance. I’ll ask as well, e.g. I use “black” since that’s what my black friends prefer. The “right” takes things too far the other direction, so I stick somewhere in the middle and try to ask when unsure.
You actually have made me think if I heard it in school or on reddit. Outside of newspapers, the internet, and universities this sort of rhetoric is pretty rare, I agree. But I’m in academia so I see it all the time.
We’re on the same page. My school used those a lot. I also agree that inclusive language and maybe even add identity politics has gone so far that it’s missed the point. Who actually gets offended at those? Middle school had people using a lot of n-words, retards, or everything was gay, maybe even fg. For the most part I think they ought to be not used. But it makes me think of the South Park episode where the Harley Davidson bike drivers come into town and all the kids are calling them fgs for how they’re acting and they get in trouble but they make the point they in no way are trying to be offensive to homosexuals. It’s weird that many of these words except for the n-word are taken as blanket unacceptable words even when that’s not their use case. Like calling wrestling gay was not an attack on lgbt people. But even typing this out I fear someone may be offended, which I do not want!
Latinx is probably the best example of how ridiculous it is. Seems Latine is much more reasonable and already used in SA.
I feel like leftists outside of moderate democrats may not have the rhetoric as much.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on how you handle it with your children. Mine is too young but I do need to consider this.
PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 4 days ago
Nah I was in a pretty small town, semi-rural but not buttfuck-nowhere either.
It certainly wasn’t labelled “ableist” then, it was simply “being a little shit” - I only really learned of the term ableism around 10-15 years ago.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Same, but in a suburban area (suburb of major metro). Never heard of “ablism” until I found leftist communities like this online, and I grew up in a left leaning area. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term in person, and I have kids about OP’s age.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I went to catholic schools in a right leaning area, but while the term wasn’t used we did have to watch an in school video in which people with downs syndrome talked about how that word made them feel like shit and had to learn how to treat other disabled people. I think it worked because people only ever picked on me for being a loser, not for being hard of hearing.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
That’s pretty wholesome. Kids can be brutal, sorry you were picked on anyway.