Despite not being trans can I have a body that does not sound like slowly breaking a fist full of spaghetti when I get out of bed in the morning?
The body you really want
Submitted 5 days ago by Grail@multiverse.soulism.net to [deleted]
https://multiverse.soulism.net/static/media/posts/Dv/uO/DvuOSne7bMhOQ8G.jpg
Comments
zxqwas@lemmy.world 5 days ago
PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
My immedate reaction was to imagine the sound of cooked spaghetti.
Was wondering why a wet slapping sound would be undesirable first thing in the morning.
I regret that train of thought…
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I can feel the grimace from “breaking a fist full of spaghetti” from the denizens of Pastaland all the way up here in northern EU
kate@lemmy.uhhoh.com 5 days ago
i have a conspiracy hypothesis that many restaurants break the pasta without telling people because people prefer it without even knowing
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
Have you tried a hot bath?
zxqwas@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’d need a water bed to have one before getting out of it.
wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
At first I imagined cooked spaghetti and I was very confused.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Wet sloppy noises
orbitandchill@lemmy.world 5 days ago
[deleted]hOrni@lemmy.world 5 days ago
They actually put that in a cartoon? And I don’t mean the sex change thing, I mean the salt shaker joke.
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 5 days ago
Damn maybe I gotta watch Johnny Test. What episode is that?
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Excited to see which of the joke-artists actually wake up as an attack helicopter.
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 5 days ago
Page not made by the original author, but worth reading: https://isabelfall.neocities.org/
CaptSatelliteJack@lemy.lol 5 days ago
Deebster@infosec.pub 5 days ago
Seems you need to download the PDF to get all of it.
Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
Don’t forget about the hilarious anti trans closeted trans people who will now have to face reality
uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
I know there are anti-gay people who are secretly gay, but I didn’t know the phenomenon extended to trans folk.
It makes sense it would.
UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
It’s always about denying to others what you deny to yourself.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Oh it’s such a huge thing. Some people suspect Rowling is one of them even
AmyAye@nord.pub 5 days ago
This would also be extra funny when turbo closeted biggots get affected too.
nitroemdash@lemmy.wtf 5 days ago
Someone will want a body made of antimatter and the earth is gone.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Ghost_Mermaid@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
Hell yeah! It would be a vast improvement.
Untamed_Star@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
I don’t, Earth is like the only plannet we know has life, that’s so unique ans special, how can ylu throw that away? For what? To kill 1 specie ? I mean they will probably kill all others and that but I would rather take my chances.
amgine@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Don’t threaten me with a good time
MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 5 days ago
What if everyone gets the body they really want but it ends up in the trunk of your car instead?
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I know what I want then
CEOs: audible gulp
bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Found the genie
HertzDentalBar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 days ago
I’ll use my newfound body to protect my brother’s, sisters and everyone in-between.
Only question is how do I get out of my house now that I’m a heavily armed attack helicopter. My fucking rotor blades are stuck in my dam drywall like it’s the fucking backrooms.
justsomeguy@lemmy.world 5 days ago
wake up as an apache attack helicopter
Yes, yeeees, YEEEEEEES! BRATATATATATATA
yakko@feddit.uk 5 days ago
Dude condemns himself to starving during a global fuel supply crisis for the sake of a decades old joke, news at 11
justsomeguy@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’m sorry I can’t hear you over my M230 30mm Chain Guns
viral.vegabond@piefed.social 5 days ago
Just gonna drop this little link here:
https://store.steampowered.com/app/1228360/Megacopter_Blades_of_the_Goddess/
Draegur@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
oh my gosh! I’m SOME of those! :D a fem-leaning androgynous (but functionally genderless) cybernetic wolfthing with trillions of bodies across the multiverse all subliminally linked to the same consciousness!
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
OwO I get to be a winged hybrid wolf-tiger-fox, with an 11" knotted and barbed cock? And I get to pound my furry friends as their fursona too? I’d actually get a career that I love, while it not feeling like work at all, having submissive cuties ride me like the bull I am? Hell yes.
CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 5 days ago
Knotted i get, but barbed? Even jerking off would be uncomfortable!
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Nah, barbs are similar to the system of an erection. It’s not so firm that you become a living sword, so you have enough give for it to be a nice experience. And barbs are usually much smaller than art depicts.
I used to date a tiger for a few years (hence the tiger hybrid addition, lots of wonderful memories that I wanted to encapsulate) and so I have it on very good authority how they feel ;3. Also I have a huge thing for feline furs, funny how that happens…
RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Do you have any depiction of how such a cutie creature would look? For scientific purposes, of course
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
It could be anything, but I’m basic and those around me that I have had the pleasure of pouncing on are furry, mostly vulpines, canines, felines, and dragons. And while I initially prefer slender males and androgynous individuals, I am also demi and so anyone who catches my attention and interest can be considered cute.
My only ‘requirement’ I guess you can call it is bring a fur… Though that isn’t an absolute. But I haven’t dated or got freaky with anyone not furry in 20 years. The bubble of the fandom, while small, is far more welcoming than the general population.
But a mostly-naughty ‘ideal’ cutie? Slender, male(ish, maybe), rather hung, uncut, geeky, loves cuddling, loves getting freaky frequently, shares a couple of my interests (automotive, tech, drones, finances…), is sweet and affectionate but can be assertive and commanding when we are alone (I have a service top thing now and then), is okay with bringing others into our bedroom (not a ton, but some), and doesn’t mind my baggage (disabled, emotional scars, trust issues, horrendous self-confidence). Basically, an intelligent and good looking guy* who I share both ideas and projects, as well as bodily fluids with, and that I can fall asleep with feelings safe and genuinely cared for (sharing the same, of course). I don’t feel like I have a lot to give (my master says otherwise, but) but if I get attached I’ll give them the world, as much as I can.
That’s what I look for in my ‘cuties’ :3
vivalapivo@lemmy.today 5 days ago
Socialists? Usually socialists are the ones who speak about their gender identities openly. What I really wish to see in this scenario is the amount of outer trans conservatives
GarboDog@lemmy.world 5 days ago
We’d be an epic goth fae furry girl 100% and would live it epically
wopalopa@lemmy.world 5 days ago
genie twist. they woke up with a dead body next to them
Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
Now they get the special opportunity to fuck their dead inner selves
TIEPilot@lemmy.world 5 days ago
How did they leave out the Bronies???
testaccount789@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Does it include superpowers?
MehBlah@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Give every person the body they want and the next day you will have tons of bigoted trans haters running around as the opposite sex.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I feel boring for the fact I’d mostly just wind up with a more functional body, bigger boobs, being more cis passing, and I have no idea how tall I’d be (it’s a complicated relationship I have with my height)
RBWells@lemmy.world 5 days ago
How about just every person?
Oh nevermind - all the guys would end up hung too big.
decolo@piefed.social 5 days ago
God I want a shiny robot body
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I guess I’d take the robot for day 1, but “the body I want” is like the job I want, the car I want, or the clothes I want.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
I’ve experienced being a robot. It’s no fun because instead of sleep, you just run up your debt because you can keep working… and then, the planet explodes because they dug too deeply.
Noodle07@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Hmmmm to sleep in the sun on top of the mountain as a dragon 👌
unemployedclaquer@sopuli.xyz 5 days ago
Don’t let the Extremisms in. They will pretend, but are mostly just humanoid yellers. Me and mine, conversely, we yell and go nuts, for the right reasons
abc@suppo.fi 5 days ago
Monkey paw: the genie changes what they really want to their biological sex.
Heavybell@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Isn’t that just the plot of Shadowrun? :P
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Wait for the world to get overrun by furries, but it’s just middle age bald dudes suddenly having shoulder length hair, six pack abs, and a deep sense of regret about how comfortable it is to carry around a two foot long penis.
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 5 days ago
People wishing for long hair and 6-pack abs have no clue the maintenance hell they are getting themselves into. The regret about the 2/3rds of a meter dong is spot on. Like envying a woman with melon sized breasts and not realizing how much back pain she deals with.
cheese_greater@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Growers unite
CADmonkey@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I also get the feeling that a lot of women would be asking exactly what they are supposed to do with a 60-cm todger.
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I’ve got hair that’s about mid back at the longest and I don’t find it particularly annoying. But then again I usually keep it pinned with a hat so that probably helps.
blarg_dunsen@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
I’m in this comment and I don’t like it.