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i mean

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Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://gts.mkultra.social/fileserver/01HVZ5ZYA3WAFHA05ZB4EQQY60/attachment/original/01KGWAV23XEYS6C9D9X51RY8S8.png

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  • hOrni@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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    • SkyezOpen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Still beats flying

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      • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yeah its more awkward when your copilot is watching you deep throat the throttle.

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    • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Username checksout

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  • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It was designed at a transition point between joysticks and the D-pad. Your right hand goes on the right prong for the A, B, and C buttons. Your left hand should be on the center prong when using a game designed for the joystick, or on the left prong when using a game designed for the D-pad. It’s not the most elegant design, but it’s really really not that hard to figure out.

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    • Zoomboingding@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s honestly baffling people still riff on this. Anyone that’s held the controller for 2 seconds understands it.

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      • tempest@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You’re right it’s just the system had very few games where the d pad was the obvious primary control device.

        What everyone here is really missing is the ahead of its time Golden eye 2 controller two stick setup. They knew where things were going the controller was just a little too soon.

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      • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It’s gotta be Zoomers looking at it with no frame of reference. Anyone who played this at the time would have recognized the layout here; they were taking the SNES controller, adding an extra set of buttons to be more in line with the 6 button layout popularized by Sega, and then sticking a joystick in the middle. Assigning the c-buttons as directional was actually pretty insightful. They work for camera controls on stuff like Mario 64, but they also function as a top-row/bottom-row for strong-attack/light-attack on D-pad fighting games like Mortal Kombat.

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    • criss_cross@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Or you’re like me and you put your hand on the left pron and stretch your thumb onto the joystick anyway. Middle prong be damned.

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      • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        How the hell did you use the Z-trigger?

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    • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is why hiring the “why not both” girl as lead hardware designer is not always the best strategy

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      • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I mean, at the time it was designed, “both,” pretty much was the right choice. Without the D-pad a lot of the titles they could reliably develop, like fighting or puzzle games, would have been incredibly difficult to get working well, but without the joystick, they couldn’t launch with titles like Mario 64. It’s easy to look at the PS1 Duelshock controller and assume they were idiots, but original PS1 controller only had a D-pad. The N64 beat the PS1 to the joystick by two years, and while it was much derpier than the Playstation’s solution, it was integrated from day one.

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    • Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It was weird going back to Goldeneye with the N64 controller for a second but then you realize “oh, just hold the center nub with your right hand and it feels like any twin stick shooter today”

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Goldeneye and Perfect Dark both actually have a set of control schemas…

      Where you play with two of these, at the same time.

      As well as a number of different one handed configurations, that essentially make it possible to play those games with hands on the left and right prongs, left and center, or right and center.

      You may or may not find some of them wonky, but … yeah, it was a perhaps needlessly versatile design, though also very innovative, though also a bit weird.

      I’m pretty sure it was literally the first home game console controller with an analog stick, an actual true analog stick, not counting joysticks with huge bases and a button or two.


      This is also the same era where the early Mario party games had minigames where you were supposed to spin thr control stick in a circle very fast.

      So uh, beyond that being terrible for the controller…

      A good number of kids figured out that you can just grip the center prong and then palm the stick, move it much much faster… but also tearing through your own hand and giving you blisters.

      So Nintendo stopped putting those kinds of minigames in Mario Party, and basically issued a health advisory telling people not to do that.

      cnet.com/…/nintendo-offers-glove-to-prevent-joyst…

      … Apparently they actually got sued.

      … and offered to give the injured parties… gloves.

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      • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yeah, I played the N64 version of Rainbow 6, and that game seemed to want me to regularly switch between joystick and D-pad, so I guess some 3rd party developers didn’t get the memo, but you’re not supposed to design games that way. Technically the Sega Saturn had a joystick on one of it’s controllers, but you could also get a D-pad only controller. My friend had that Mario party glove, but we wouldn’t let him use it, since it was an unfair advantage. He had to rip the skin off his hands just like the rest of us.

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The designer of the controller had 3 arms and always wondered why people didn’t like the design.

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  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Better have a long tongue to reach the “Z” button with.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yoshis tongue was based on the lead designers

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    • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Regular length tongue is fine. It’s just not inserted all the way in the picture.

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      • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Understood. My experience deepthroating N64 controllers is …uh… limited.

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    • kutt@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The Z-spot

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      … or a better knowledge of your own anatomy and how angles work.

      Image

      Thats like 4 to 4 1/2 inches to get to the Z button.

      If your girlfriend can tickle your pickle, you should be able to uh, handle the plunge here.

      Just relax, and say ‘Ahh’.

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  • wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The left hand goes on the left or the middle depending on the game.

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  • Prunebutt@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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  • Calfpupa@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Gotta get good enough to throat it down then tongue the clit

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  • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I still don’t get how they ever approved this design.

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    • DmMacniel@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It was the early days of 3d gaming consoles. And as nobody knew how control schemes will develop they created this controller with three different kinds of input schemes:

      • Left on left/ right on right for traditional plattformers
      • Left on middle / right on right for 3d games that require that analog stick
      • Left on left / right on middle … yeah I don’t know either.
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      • red_tomato@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Is there any game that utilized the d pad though? The d pad and the L button must have gone down in history as the most useless buttons ever put on a controller.

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    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s better than the current factor for switching between d-pad and joystick exclusive games.

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      • JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I disagree, but I could see it being difficult for some folks with thumb problems.

        I had this cool PS2 controller that let you swap the positions of the d pad, analog sticks, and buttons. So you could make it like the Xbox layout, left analog on top left and dpad on bottom left. It’d be nice if more stuff like that was a thing. Though I think most consoles have pretty good accessibility settings now and let you do stuff like that (though not as dramatic as moving hardware of course). It could even adjust the tension in the sticks by twisting em.

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  • Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I had a cheat code for some game where I definitely had to use my mouth or face to move the analog stick.

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    • bert_macklin_fbi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I had to use this technique for Shadows of the Empire. I want to say it was the one that let you change between the Outrider, X-Wing, and Tie Fighter.

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      • Rozz@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You might be right, it might have been that game. You had to hold it like halfway to the left (or maybe my controller was just old).

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  • tpihkal@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Worst controller design of all time.

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    • Denjin@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Objectively false, and it’s not even close

      An Atari Jaguar controller

      An Apple Bandai Pippin controller

      An Amiga CD32 controller

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      • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The worst has to go to the Phillips CDI. In fairness, this was designed primarily as a remote control, and there was a much better dedicated gaming controller available, but they believed this layout would be adequate for gaming.

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      • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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      • aeiou@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The Amiga CD one does not look that bad?

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  • Furbag@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Honestly, this picture is close to accurate if you were trying to input the code for the debug menu in Shadows of The Empire.

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  • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Should be 3 mouths.

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  • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Still a better time than whatever nightmare gaming is nowadays.

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    • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Rewatched Scott the Woz on live service games. Made me so happy to be OK with single player games.

      I just finished Cairn, and even though it’s not perfect, I had fun (I still reccomend it), and was not raging at xXx_pussyslayer_xXx for one shoting me through a wall, or having to get 10 headshots with a side arm in 1 match or something.

      In single player games, other randoms don’t dictate your fun. Its just you and the game working together.

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    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What’s wrong with the current standard of two sticks? Also, we have had some absolutely phenomenal releases in the past few years; E33, anything fromsoft (especially AC:VI FoR), cyberpunk,I mean the list goes on for quite a while.

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      • FreddiesLantern@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh I’m not commenting on controllers or the games themselves. To me it’s all the stuff surrounding gaming the last x years: *game devs get more press for their drama than their games. (Usually some heinous “we treat our employees like shit”. thing if it isn’t a shitty take like Epic tends to push out as of late) *ai: both it’s implementation and it’s effect on hardware prices. *season passes, dlc,… this irks me still. Make a complete game already ffs. *early acces/pre-sale/… and the inevitable first month of patches trying to stop the ship from sinking. *people losing their shit over gender options or if the female character isn’t enough of a bimbo to their liking.

        All that kinda stuff… kinda ruins it for me. People don’t enjoy games anymore it seems, it has become just another opinion rabbit hole for YouTube.

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  • Zachariah@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    mouth anus

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    • smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve just been stabilizing it in my bellybutton. I need to work on my flexibility.

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      • Zachariah@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

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  • DarkFuture@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The first time I picked it up my hands were already large enough that it just felt normal to have each hand on the outer grips. I’ve been called a freak. Feared by children and scorned by adults. I was cast out of my village. Given no quarter.

    It’s been a lonely life, but I yam what I yam.

    Fun Fact: Holding it that way makes it a lot easier to break the joystick since you’re putting force on it from an angle. As an adult I’ve had to order after market joysticks with thicker sticks to replace the ones I broke as a kid. They’re actually much better with way smoother movement.

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  • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The purple version was the best. Mine from 1999 has had the most use and still works the best. I’ve bought new aftermarket controllers but none stand up to the old translucent purple.

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  • TheGiantKorean@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Is the middle prong not for perineum stimulation?

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  • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wtf is that controller? Some kind of new-fangled wireless abomination? That’s not original hardware. And, since it is new, why did they put no effort into fixing the joystick? You’re just going to get a floppy dick stick in a few years with it anyway.

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    And the award for worst controller ever goes to…

    I had a more normal 3rd party controller but it was still stupidly big.

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  • cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    no wonder i was so bad at south park 64

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  • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Whatever floats your goat

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  • whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The difference between that and a modern standard controller for like an Xbox or playstation feels like the difference between a modern standard controller and something like this where you can keep both thumbs on the sticks and have access to all the shoulder and face buttons at the same time

    video game controller with 4 back buttons for abxy, two shoulder triggers and 2 bumpers with an additional xy between the trigger and bumper on each side, bonus for locks to shorten the trigger pulls

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    • LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Is that a real controller? I was wondering what they even labeled all the buttons, and got LB LT MU?

      On the right it’s labeled RB, RT, M2, which means to me it should say M1 on the left, but I would have assumed RM and LM would have made more sense?

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      • whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It’s a razer wolverine v2 chroma wired. I couldn’t find a wireless like that so I went with one like this v3 pro, it’s easier to reach the back buttons but also easier to accidentally bump one

        video game controller like the one above but with the back buttons spread out towards the grips instead of near the center

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  • Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No, left amd right hand are switched (the controller rotated upsidedown) so that I can more easily tongue that little stick of joy.

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  • Toes@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Did any of you change your controls to use the dpad for navigation in 007 golden eye? My friends called me a psycho for it.

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    • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No because I’m not a psycho.

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    • dvlsg@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No, but I did use the yellow buttons for movement and the joystick for aiming. I guess that’s fairly similar.

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      • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I see you played Turok.

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  • thatradomguy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Speedrunners hate this one trick”

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  • absentbird@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    How Zorro wins at Smash

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  • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Casuals, I stick the left up my butt.

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  • jellyfishhunter@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Maybe this controller was meant for girls.

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