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Speedy Delivery

⁨791⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/feebde3c-8281-4cd5-a2de-430f3e65f92b.jpeg

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Comments

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  • DahGangalang@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Because I recently rediscovered this, sharing here:

    All right," said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”

    REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

    “Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”

    YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

    “So we can believe the big ones?”

    YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

    “They’re not the same at all!”

    YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

    “Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”

    MY POINT EXACTLY.

    –Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

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    • zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I actually would prefer people see them as ideals rather than unchanging facts of the universe, because unchanging facts don’t require you to fight to keep them like ideals do, and I’m tired of hearing diatribes about the world being just instead of people actually making it just.

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      • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        INDEED

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      • rockerface@lemmy.cafe ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The universe might not care, but we do. And that is the entire point indeed.

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      • Live_your_lives@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        As far as I’m aware, most people who think the world is naturally just think that such justice comes slowly, and with wild swings away and towards justice happening in the mean time. So you still need to turn the ideal of justice into reality in the mean time either way.

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  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    NGT’s not even going to mention that Santa probably solved or approximately solved the traveling salesman problem for a complete graph of several hundred million vertices?

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    • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I suppose if he’s magic he doesn’t need to solve anything.

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  • Eheran@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Ffs that guy is annoying. Did not even do the math, which should have told him that hypersonic does not even scratch the surface unless he has an extremely wide drop-off region.

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    • TomMasz@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I thought he could have been the next Carl Sagan, but instead, he’s that guy you never invite to parties.

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      • spamfajitas@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I dunno about you, but I’m not sure if I’d have invited Carl Sagan either…it’d take him ~13.8 billion years just to get dessert ready.

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      • Quibblekrust@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        And definitely don’t marry him!

        youtu.be/TyZSBqQ813c

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    • Jason@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I can’t believe you’re really taking his comment seriously?! He made a post about Santa’s reindeer and sleigh vaporizing due to the speed of travel. It’s supposed to be absurd, not a science lesson.

      It’s a little ironic that you say NDT is annoying for his joke while complaining that his math (from a joke) does’nt make sense.

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      • Mulligrubs@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        See? Eheran GOT YOU. He knew that Tyson was joking, so he played it straight and made you look like a dupe!

        Oh wait, you’re doing the straight man switcheroo, I’ve been bamboozled again.

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  • Samskara@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Santa is a shared delusion running on people’s minds in a distributed fashion, known in magic occult spheres as an egregore. All of those minds then manifest Santa by their own deeds and the spread of Santa memes. Santa‘s sled is everywhere at once as the sequence of delivered packages doesn’t matter. One Santa manifested everywhere through human thought and action.

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    • otacon239@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Isn’t this how gods worked in Terry Pratchett’s books?

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      • TheRealKuni@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        No, but it is how Santa worked, as seen in Hogfather.

        Gods are a species that become more powerful the more worshippers they have and essentially powerless when they have no followers, as seen in Small Gods.

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      • nezrock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You’re thinking of American Gods by Gaiman.

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  • halvar@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    On one of our Christmas themed university events this year there was a physics teacher who calculated how many reindeers would Santa need if we assume the friction vaporizes each one at a certain rate. Like if Santa had a line of 42000 reindeers in front of his sleigh he could go around the earth once before the last one turned medium rare.

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    • Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Ablative raindeer.

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      • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I think reindeer would ablate in a similar way to pineapples given their similar water/carbon content. I think he’d get around just fine with a toasted Rudolf.

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  • Tikiporch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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  • baggachipz@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I know I’m “not cool” and a “booger man” because of what I’m about to say, but NDT just likes to post fun stuff. He’s not being serious and he’s not being a know-it-all. Does anyone here read his books or listen to his podcast? He has a damn comedian on for every episode.

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But did you know that in the mirror, you can only kiss yourself on the lips?

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    • Tikiporch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m only half joking when I say, thank you for your bravery.

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      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I find it very interesting that the Internet turned on Neil around when he was posting pro-vaccine messages in a pandemic

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  • taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Y’all don’t get it. Santa is a hive mind parasite that embeds itself in people and takes over at the later months of the year. It tends to hibernate the rest of the year although much like pollen, it seems to be waking earlier and earlier.

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    • atomicorange@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Climate change is causing Christmas creep? It’s worse than we thought!!

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      • taiyang@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It’s not a coincidence they start playing Xmas music in October now… Only a matter of time until it’s year round. Blasted climate change!

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      • OpenStars@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Naw, just your standard profit seeking.

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  • Flyberius@hexbear.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I genuinely hate his uh akshully approach to science

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    • Jason@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s a joke, not a science lesson. Nobody got hurt.

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      • Flyberius@hexbear.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I agree, it harms no-one, but I’m still not obligated to like his brand

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  • Typhoon@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Santa likes rich kids more than poor ones.

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    • electric_nan@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hey, so does God.

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  • Una@europe.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    No because santa is a quantum being, he is in a superposition of being in every single house in the world and if someone sees him than only 1 house gets presents.

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    • crocat@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      We can test this by putting two chimneys close together and seeing if we get a diffraction pattern of presents and coal.

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  • carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    clown-to-clown conversation

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  • unknown1234_5@kbin.earth ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    i mean if the sleigh is designed properly it would be fine, it just the reindeer that need the magic and they have to have it in the first place to pull the sled.

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  • Mcf0603@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Neil needs to be shoved into several lockers. I can’t stand smug people.

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  • MisterFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Soft magic systems aren’t any fun. Change my mind.

    Christianity, stranger things and paranormal activity are equally as uninteresting to me because it’s “because I said so”. Boooooooo, come up with some rules for your world.

    Can we make a new category of fiction called “supernatural” SEPARATE from sci-fi and fantasy? Thanks, that would be nice.

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    • my_hat_stinks@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “Magic system” is a bit of an oxymoron imo. The problem with having hard rules for magic is that that’s not magic, that’s science. You just end up with a world with slightly different physical laws.

      Technology can be interesting on its own but a deep understanding of the underlying mechanics kills the magic. A rock that lets you talk with someone over great distance is magic but if you explain it as manipulating imperceptible vibrations in the air you just have a radio.

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      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        “Magic system” is a bit of an oxymoron

        This is just the currently accepted terminology in world building: rebeccashedd.com/…/the-worldbuilders-toolkit-buil…

        I’m just extending this to sci-fi also, as have many others, because they’re basically the same thing, only that the sci-fi magic systems are vaugely based on real-life science (but vary wildly how closely).

        Think Stargate with their loosey-goosey ancients and accession, vs the much more grounded The Expanse.

        I’m just not a fan of magic systems without any rules at all.

        Hence why I find supernatural stories less interesting, which streaming services, book shops, and movie theatres, frustratingly categorise under fantasy. They are very different from sci-fi and fantasy, in my opinion.

        If your magic is purely “mysterious”, that’s boring, and lazy story-telling (In my opinion).

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    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Bro do you criticize The Epic of Gilgamesh for being a pre-Tolkien world building standard too? You have to judge these fantasies in context

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      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just joking around, but yeah, I personally enjoy what I call “supernatural” stories less than sci-fi and fantasy with proper world-building

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Magic is copium for people who can’t accept or understand reality.

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    • MeThisGuy@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      that’s religion

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  • Fizz@lemmy.nz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Santa is not magic hes just really locked in and his reindeer are built different.

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  • DylanMc6@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Santa clones himself

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    • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “Have you ever seen the film ‘The Prestige’?”

      (Side note: this is my single favorite comedy sketch of all time.)

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      • FosterMolasses@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh I love this one lol

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    • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hims-elf.

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  • silver_wings_of_morning@feddit.dk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s a clever quantum operation where all the houses are entangled in a superposition and moved into a state where all the presents are delivered. So when one kid opens the present the state collapses and all the presents are delivered.

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  • 9point6@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Imagine sniffing your own farts this much

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  • HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Christmas is a federal holiday now too

    So, it’s for everyone now. Not just Christians

    Way more presents than in Tyson’s original calculation

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  • Jack_Burton@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why is Santa only delivering to Christians?

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    • Mulligrubs@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Probably because he was a Christian.

      He’s dead. I’m sorry, son

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  • WanderingThoughts@europe.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The answer is most likely “the speedforce”. The amount of handwaving used to justify going fast in these movies are overwhelming.

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  • thatradomguy@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    ishowspeed holding back face

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  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lazy ass parents not bothering to update the believability of Santa Claus. Just say there are multiple Santa’s all around the globe that work together. That’s why Santa sometimes looks different when you see him at different places. That’s why there can be a Black Santa, or Asian Santa.

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  • railcar@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This joke is at least 35 years old. www.physlink.com/Fun/IsThereSanta.cfm

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  • Friendlybirdseggs@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Localized time dilation of course!

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  • Angelevo@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    All in due time, it is silly to put so much value on one or a few days. Every day can be Christmas when we treat each other well. Good will come to those who deserve, time will tell.

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  • RabbitBBQ@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Parts of Santa’s narrative were adopted by colonists in New York, which blended St Nicholas and stories around Odin. Odin from Greek Mythology was known to fly around on a horse, knew who was good or bad, and at times had presents. In New York at some point, this all changed and a prior diety type figure in Odin became commercialized. The white horse became reindeer. Santa eventually adopted Coca-Cola’s colors and the commercialization and rebooting of Odin was complete. Thanks for reading.

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  • Jayve@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Santa superpostion.

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