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Anti-masturbation DLC

⁨603⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://media.piefed.world/posts/XI/na/XIna4VBMdBb7xCX.png

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Comments

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  • TabbsTheBat@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Guys I just started buddhism and so far it has just been sitting quietly, and destroying sand mandalas, when does it get to the good stuff like reincarnation? Can I skip the first season and start with 2 or will this have important plot ramifications?”

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    • ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      "Is there an in-universe way to pay myself forward? It's taking too long and I'm grinding makes me bored out of my mind".

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      • TheFriendlyDickhead@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes you can. Just send 500$ in playstation gift cards to the following address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Washington, DC 20500

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  • MutantTailThing@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    These guys really think not beating their meat will improve their life in a significant way?

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    • random_character_a@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You really can’t be a proper christian, unless you want to fuck everything in sight and at the same time feel disgusted and ashamed by it.

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      • tired_n_bored@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You here have explained the root reason of so much bigotry and hated

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      • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You know they probably use the death grip method, too, because they really hate their own dicks.

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    • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They think attacking the symptoms is attacking the cause…

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      • then_three_more@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        The Anti Frank-N-Furter

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    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It can if they currently have an unhealthy habit or addiction to fapping or porn.

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    • Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They really think believing in magical sky daddies will improve their life in any way at all.

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    • tired_n_bored@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Is it weird that I think that doing so is kinda gross? And I am a man. I don’t do it often.

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      • remon@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes, that’s weird.

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      • wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Hope you’re getting plenty then. You want to ejaculate around twenty times a month for a healthy prostate.

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  • ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “Starting noFap in 1/2 months.”

    I already sense some strong dedication here. I once knew a bloke who also did noFap. After one month he woke up in the middle of the night, his penis glowing red and aching so much that he woke him up. He barely touched his penis and then proceeded to create the biggest mess he’d ever seen on the bathroom floor. Ever since then he thought that this can’t be healthy and stopped.

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    • AppleTea@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      glowing?

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      • Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Santa asked him to guide his sleigh.

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      • ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        In the dark.

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      • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Semen becomes bioluminescent if too much of it accretes.

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      • Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        We’ve all been there.

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    • FireRetardant@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Im my experience I end up with wet dreams well before an erection is going to wake me up.

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    • tias@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yes, “a friend” surely told you this story from his personal life.

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      • kurwa@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Some motherfuckers share too much

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    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Wait did he stop nofap or stop masturbating on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night?

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    • toynbee@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I once encountered a coworker who had a friend who participated in no shave November.

      According to the coworker, at the end of the month the friend quit his job, bought a bunch of flannel, and opened a brewery.

      I never met the friend in question, but according to the coworker that’s a true story.

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    • Mwa@thelemmy.club ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      idk if this is true,but holy that doesnt sound healthy.
      and maybe NNN isnt healthy aswell.

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      • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Duh

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      • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Just don’t shave for a month and you’re good.

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  • db2@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It basically is though, it’s larping.

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    • Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Stop insulting us LARPers. What have we ever done to deserve it?

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      • ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        LARP WAR!

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      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Lightning bolts

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    • codemankey@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s larping for people without a sense of humour.

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  • AmericanEconomicThinkTank@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Most folk just want direction. Sometimes all it takes is the right social club to change a lifetime of political direction.

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    • SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sometimes all it takes is joining a cult

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah a lot of them are pretty open about going to Christianity because they’re directionless. It offers purpose, direction, and community. That all is something the left has struggled to provide to these people (but it absolutely can). So yeah, talk to the directionless young men in your life about food not bombs and union organizing or the right will.

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    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I agree. For a lot of people, politics is just a hobby that they’ve sunk their entire identity into. Like the new golfer that starts buying all sorts of clubs and gear, or the new woodworker who has to buy every tool before he makes a single cutting board, etc.

      They discover politics, and the next thing you know, they’re wearing star-spangled ties in the office, they’ve got stickers all over their bumper, they’ve programmed their car radio presets to nothing but conservative talk stations, they develop a snear whenever they say the word Liberal, etc.

      They just need a new hobby. Get them a new bicycle, and in a month they’ll have a $5000 Italian racing bike, all the tight spandex clothes, special expensive shoes with locking cleats, $300 Oakleys, etc. They’ll be a pain in the ass on the roads, but at least they’ll be too busy riding to vote.

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  • renzhexiangjiao@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    • Jesus Christ, 33 CE
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    • Psionicsickness@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Lmao

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  • Mikina@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That’s actually exactly how the 70s “chaos magick” occultism works. If you get past the cringy name, it was one of the more interesting occultistm movements which actually kind of make sense even to me, as someone who’s not really into esoterism (or rather - I like researching it, but would feel dumb practicing since I’m skeptical)

    Their core idea is that all of the other occultist movements and orders are basically all the same - through belief, rituals and symbols you affect your subconscious to manifest change, and it doesn’t matter what “flavor” / dogma / lore you choose to believe in. What matters is that you really truly belive.

    So, a wiccan making circles in a forest while invoicing spirits or someone making a pizza pentagram while invoking Garfield is the same,as long as he believes into it.

    The only thing that matters is that it works for you, and to find what does and what doesn’t they work with “paradigm shifts”, where you decide that " I"m going to try wicca for a year", and then you delve deep into that practice, trying to trully accept it and go all in, noting your experience and results, to see if it works for you.

    After a year, you review your results, and move on to other practice, I.e “I’ll be a christian for a year”, and you really get into it, going to churches, practicing all the daily prayers and rituals, and the like.

    It’s my favorite occultism movement, because it’s o me of the few where I can imagine that it actually makes sense and could work for making your life better, if you have grounded expectations of course.

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    • GreenShimada@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t subscribe to Chaos Magick per se, but I do appreciate the postmodern view and willingness to sort of aggregate what works. Personally, it’s the cringe folks leaning into “I’m a mess, so I do chaos magic” crew that turn me off to the whole movement even though the premise is rational and based. That and I don’t like dealing with the costs of doing magick that just come with the territory. Sort of like remote viewing - if it works, then you get results and you’re doing it right.

      I’m pleasantly surprised at Lemmy’s response to this comment, though.

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      • Mikina@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Tbh I’ve never really looked into or talked with almost anyone who’s into oculltism. I do know a few friends who are heavily into the unformalized new-age stuff, and they are definitely not ok to the point it controls their life, but I realize that it’s a spectrum (and I don’t mean it as “it’s autism” way, but that the way people approach even to the new-age stuff can be a spectrum of reasonable-dangeeous). I’m mostly sad because you can’t really talk to people like that, and share cool lore on a topic most people consider downright crazy, because there isn’t any or they haven’t done any research. Even astrology has some cool lore and manuscripts, but they usually don’t care.

        I just think it’s cool, and reading about the practices of different cults and orders is extremely interresting.

        I’d vager a guess that “chaos magick” has a similar problem to LaVeye’s Satanism, where you get a lot of edgy people researching the bare minimum, if even that, and just being edgy. Not that it wasn’t edgy, it’s one of the few movements that was downright off-puting for me due to how extremely selfish and arogant it is (IIRC it’s basically “I m a massive dick and walk over anyone”), but people who don’t even know what they are subscribing to are worse.

        I never got that feeling from chaos magick, it felt just like you said - extremely rational, and was actually the first movement that made sense, as in “I can imagine this actually working”, with the argument “rituals work by nudging your subconsciousness to the direction you need”.

        That’s basically the same as Budhissm does, just by hacks and symbols instead of just sheer practice and will. And we kind of have a proof that budhism works. Image

        And even for someone who doesn’t really believe in magic, this makes sense and I can imagine it actually working.

        Plus, doing rituals is fun, and a little faith gives a pretty fun amount of LARPing into your life, as long as you don’t let it control you and are reasonable about it.

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  • tomiant@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I stopped watching the Old Testament when I came to Chronicles, at which point I gave up. How do you introduce 900 new characters in a single chapter…

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    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s even worse than that, they introduce them and then like 90% of them are never mentioned ever again.

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  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Oh boy, speed running to christian nationalism.

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  • AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Can’t start no fap right away gotta wait till his PH membership expires

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  • samus12345@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I guess he’s going Catholic specifically?

    Image

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    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Late-convert catholics are the worst kind of christians. They’re just fundie evangelists that want to dominionism harder than the dominionists themselves.

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  • Themosthighstrange@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Anon gonna molest kids in his local church soon

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  • einlander@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Superbook and Flying House are anime about the Bible and Christianity.

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    • ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What about weightlifting?

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      • kvasir476@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        How Heavy are the Dumbbells You Lift?

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  • DupaCycki@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Binge reading the Bible

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    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      He won’t make it past the Begats.

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  • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You don’t need any labels to agree with the fundamental truths and moral teachings of big J. If you have eyes to see and ears to hear (the subvocalization inherent in reading, because we’re around 2000 years too late to hear him preach, lol), the Sermon of the Mount just makes sense, for instance.

    Idk what this person is doing besides memeing for our collective amusement, but if they’re for real they need to rethink the way they think before they start any applied philosophical pursuits. 😅

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    • Deceptichum@quokk.au ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You’ve got issues.

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      • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        They’re part of the human experience. 🤷😉

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      True, but that more or less applies to all religions. The problem is that it’s never just the wisdom of the beatitudes or the Tao Te Ching. At a certain point they start asking you to believe this guy rose from the dead, and a lot of us just don’t buy it

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      • ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Neither do I, that’s why I call him big J, the man, and not “one of the deities of Roman Catholicism”. 😅

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  • resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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      • FreeAZ@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Was this the pilot or something? I don’t remember Moral Orel looking like this.

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  • Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I have to laugh at the Far Cry 5 background.

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  • Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why not just say 2 weeks? Why 1/2 month?

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    • Predalien@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Probably means “1 to 2 months” not half a month

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  • toofpic@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “He started with Thousand Candle Punch, and then Evoked Gabriel. This was super effective”

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