What is the magic diet for no-wipe poops?

Comments

• PP_BOY_@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A bidet

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I find they’re hard to eat.

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    • FenrirIII@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You have to eat them one bidet at a time.

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• Horsey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  1. Wax your ass
  2. Get a squatting stool
  3. Don’t eat spicy food
  4. High Fiber, meaning, don’t eat anything purréd
  5. Try to eat a salad with lunch/dinner
  6. Limit or eliminate processed foods
  7. Limit saturated fat intake up until the point your gallbladder can keep up
  8. Red sauces, not white sauces
  9. Eliminate fried food
  10. Eat foods that are in a form where you can visually discern each major ingredient.
  11. Eat lean proteins like chicken/fish/Pork (not bacon)

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  • zewm@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You lost me at 3 ngl.

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    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Reading number 3 makes me angry.

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    • Nastybutler@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      They lost me at no. 1

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    • halfapage@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      [deleted]

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  • Rhaxapopouetl@ttrpg.network ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You don’t need to wax your ass if you produve teflon grade pops as asked in this thread. I found out week long feats of uninterrupted veganism helped, so i’d argue balancing fibre intake is key. But i’m not doctor, just like the person i just replyed to.

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  • Nemo@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why no spicy food?

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    • candyman337@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I think it’s more likely to accelerate digestion and it can give you the runs, not 100% sure on that explanation though

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    • Horsey@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It totally depends on the individual, but jalapeños give me diarrhea every time without fail. Spicy food causes general GI upset and inflammation.

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  • Kcap@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Taco Bell takes issue with like half of these.

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  • 11111one11111@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Only thing id add is staying properly hydrated

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• hogmomma@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  A bidet.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Interesting diet choice…

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    • hogmomma@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s pretty good after the first few bites.

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• the_q@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  High fiber and proper hydration.

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  • rauls5@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I actually find low hydration is the best approach. The system removes a lot more moisture from the waste resulting in solid non-smearing packets.

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    • the_q@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Then you risk constipation.

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    • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Pretty sure that’s not how that works.

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  • Nemo@slrpnk.net ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I drink hella water and eat nothing but greens, beans, and whole grains… stilly sticky as, well, shit. So there’s clearly other factors at play.

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    • the_q@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So no sugar or even aspartame? Dairy? You might also have an allergy.

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• Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  none, or get a bidet, but you would want to wipe for sanitary reasons anyways.

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  • douglasg14b@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think you missed the point.

    “No wipe poops” doesn’t mean you never wipe again. It means poop that leaves behind insignificant residue.

    I periodicity have these, and it’s a joy. There’s definitely a dietary aspect to it, and moving that direction seems to be the point here.

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    • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Thank you for understanding and emphasis on the point of my question 👍

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    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Even when there’s no obvious sign of poo out still feels wet like I’m wiping normally. I would always want to wipe at least once to get all the sweat and residue from the past few hours that naturally accumulate for just being a human.

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Lots of cheese. Don’t need to wipe if your shit is solid as a brick.

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  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    sounds like asking for a hemmaroid.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Damn you, I have a sealed block of sharp cheddar that I might have to open tonight…

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• Toes@ani.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Regular moderate exercise and avoiding just eating mostly sugar has helped me.

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• FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I think I rank this question up there with the fate if our universe and the meaning of life. It’s just a scientific mystery that is beyond our ability to understand.

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• renrenPDX@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Fiber and good gut biome. It can take a while to correct if out of wack.

  Eat less frequently. OMAD or skip one meal. Also if you’re drinking a lot of water, supplement with electrolyte capsules (no Gatorade) to maintain optimal function. Reduce or eliminate snacking between meals.

  the large intestines absorbs water, electrolytes, and vitamins. It won’t function as well if your shits out of whack.

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• undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  You can get close by eating vegan.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Sorry, I don’t know enough vegans to sustain my diet…

    /s

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• ameancow@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  No such thing, your own body is your own body and how it functions is entirely for you to manage, figure out and maintain.

  You have to follow the basics of self-care and have a healthy diet including a lot of vegetables, low-fat proteins, healthy oils like olive oil in moderate amounts. Stay away from processed foods, and if you don’t know what constitutes processed food, you need to learn to walk before you run. Do some searches. You have the wealth of Humanity’s knowledge at your fingers.

  Just don’t eat fast-food, learn to make beans and rice and chicken/tofu dishes and eat some fresh greens daily if you can. Get exercise every day. DRINK LOTS OF WATER EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK YOU’RE THIRSTY.

  Will all this give you solid, clean bowel movements? No idea, in fact if you’re not used to eating like this, you will probably need months to adjust to it and may have periods of loose stools or even constipation before you start having healthier, easier bathroom times. You will also save a lot of money and you will feel healthier and have more energy and may live longer. I would take all that over “no wipe poops.”

  If you’re really struggling wiping, stop. Buy a bidet or a hand-held shower-head with a long hose and just use toilet paper to wipe dry. It’s absolutely criminal that parents don’t teach their kids proper bathroom hygiene and now we have a whole generation of people who struggle in the bathroom.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Thanks for the random response! Most everything you said makes good sense 👍

    Nah, no problems wiping here, I just asked as a generic discussion question that I think everyone has some interest in.

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    • ameancow@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Glad you appreciate it. I figured it might be just a polling question for engagement, which is why I dropped a thorough back-to-basics summary.

      But I stand by the last part, I have read far, far too many posts across different sites from grown-ass men and women who struggle keeping the area between their legs from crusting over. There are men scared to touch their own asses and never wash, and women who think getting water in their vagina will make them go to hell or pregnant or shit, and posts by the partners of these people who have no idea how to address it.

      We have a checked out generation relying on Grok and ChatGTP to tell them how to do basic human functions. I feel like this is a recipe for even worst outcomes somewhere down the road.

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• db2@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Clean your ass.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why?

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    • db2@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So you don’t smell like shit. Even a terrible parent will teach you at least that much.

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• thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Get a bidet

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Those don’t taste that great though, not for my daily diet anyways…

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• abcdqfr@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Hire a ghost to poop for you. Ezpz

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  • bhamlin@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Instructions unclear; shit in sink.

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• blarghly@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sugar free orange flavored metamucil. No joke. Mix up one or two spoonfuls each morning and in the next day or two your shits will start being magical.

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  • Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Citrucel is also pretty great especially if metamucil gives you some gas.

    If pooping was an Olympic sport, fiber would be performance enhancing.

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  • hogmomma@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Not entirely true. If your diet is already fiber- deficient, Metamucil will help with regularity, but not with firmness.

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  • blackstampede@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Seconding this. It’s honestly a little embarrassing how much taking solid shits improves your life. Bathroom breaks are quicker, don’t stink as much, and you save a fortune on toilet paper. My diet has since improved to the point where I don’t need it, but I still keep a couple tubs of it in the pantry just in case.

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• Blackmist@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Fry ups make my shit come out like a greased otter. Probably all the oil.

  Healthy, fibre heavy foods make a right mess, like tar. Even the travel bidet struggles with that.

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  • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It sounds like you may have a a slight case of steattorhea? Do these otter poops float as well?

    Because if so, it might be some slight absorption issue. I seem to have one, my poops being very much like you describe. Both, at times.

    But when I went on an exclusion diet and then added things back in I realised I apparently have a slight gluten sensitivity. Leaving out gluten and dairy completely made an insane change. Even when I would eat greasy chicken wings, I wouldn’t get dem greasy otter poops. Just like, more regular poops, despite what I ate.

    I’m not saying you have the same thing, just saying I had that.

    Related though, there is I believe like an over-the-counter supplement that’s enzymes which help with the absorption / break down of the food, because greasy stools can be a result of too little of some pancreatic enzymes or something.

    Am not a trained medical professional, btw, so don’t take medical advice from me. But like, things to look up at least.

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    • Nikls94@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      As a gluten and fructose intolerant person, I agree. That shit makes shit shit.

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• Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Marry a coprophile.

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• Zerlyna@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I need this answer too lol

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• lemonySplit@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Consistent ghost poops whenever I’m eating vegan consistently.

  Mainly because meat gets swapped to beans and other high fibre options

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• s@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Colostomy bag

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  • neidu3@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I don’t think they’re edible

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    • LuckyJones@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Just stick a straw in it like a capri-sun.

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• MummifiedClient5000@feddit.dk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  There is no such thing. At best, you’ll do one courtesy wipe and hang the paper back.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I hear ya there. It’s just those rare occasions, where you wipe once, always gotta make sure, and that first wipe shows you were already luckily clean, it just makes ya wonder…

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• Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Lots of alcohol. I’ve met guys who haven’t had a solid shit in years.

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  • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    But wouldn’t you need an extremely solid poop to not have to wipe?

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    • Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There’s no way you can obtain wipelessness without some technique!

      Get a forceful stream so it doesn’t dribble down ya, but not so forceful that it bounces back.

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    • mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      nah there’s a special zone where it doesn’t splash back nor leave any but the smallest of traces on your anus

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• frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  wax

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• Nayfun@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I call those poops flawless victories.

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• lepinkainen@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Sugar makes my poo real bad, candy especially. My gut biome just can’t handle it.

  Otherwise it’s just fibre from vegetables and fruit pretty much

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• FourThirteen@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Stop using toilet paper as your primary. Bidets are remarkably more convenient and cheaper in the long run. It’s literally night and day better.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    We tried that once. Couldn’t get it installed, the original plumbing lines were (and still are) too corroded together. They can’t be separated where the water line to the toilet tank is, without lots of work we can’t afford.

    Also, I didn’t ask about wiping vs bidet, I asked about a healthier/cleaner poop diet.

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  • GlenRambo@jlai.lu ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pretty much illegal (or at least a grey area) in my country. No insurance will cover a bathroom flood issue even if bidet was installed by a licenced pro.

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• Khanzarate@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Always gotta wipe, just in case, but I rarely actually need to. No idea what I’m doing right so here’s some facts about my diet

  1. I drink a gallon+ between straight water, coffee, and flavored sparkling water (no calorie, aspartame-sweetened)

  2. My breakfast is usually cereal with 1% milk or bacon and eggs once a week.

  Ramen for lunch

  Pizza or pasta for dinner, with a vegetable side

  Fruits and whatnot are eaten intermittently as snacks.

  Hope this helps I guess its not the best diet but I’m always regular.

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  • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Ramen itself gives me the shits…

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Problem solved?

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    • Khanzarate@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Eat enough that your body gets used to it?

      If I had to guess I’d say its based on the amount of water I drink, and maybe coffee poops keeping me regular, less about the diet itself.

      Dunno for sure, but I do know I have been so regular it was a surprise when someone told me a bidet reduces toilet paper usage, because I just didn’t believe it could do so. That’s because it can’t in my case. Takes me about as long to poop as it does to pee. Wish I could tell you what exactly I’m doing right but something is right.

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• WiseScorpio@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I don’t know but I do know eating frosted mini wheats, maybe 9-12 per day, dry, certainly helps.

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• socsa@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Being the ok smelling like shit.

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• VinesNFluff@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Cyanide and a belief in reincarnation.

  Because often the reason your turds are Like That is genetics and the only solution would be to become a different person.

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