Take my routine morning shit. But instead of my phone I’m reading the label on the back of any bottle I can reach from the throne.
Yes, this is what people did back then
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/2cdb6c73-3e7f-4b92-8bef-2b8abc82530c.png
Comments
PaulBunyan@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Default_Defect@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
Do I wake up at 6 years old? Or as I am now, but in '95?
Doesn’t matter, I’m watching fuckin POWER RANGERS.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
What was I doing in 1995?
I would wake up, pour some Frosted Flakes and play Donkey Kong Country.
What would I do now?
Go outside and take a slow walk through my old neighborhood and probably cry.
Draegur@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
1995…
I was 10 years old and in the 5th grade.
And I remember everything, huh? Hoo boy. Hoooo boyyyyy.
First thing I do is write this list while it’s still fresh in my mind:
- ADHD is real and it will ruin my potential if I don’t face it head on. The medication won’t work on me yet, though, so tell Mom and Dad I NEED to get back on medication when my brain is more developed in a couple years.
- Also, for future reference: it isn’t actually a deficit of ATTENTION at all–it’s really stupidly named by neurotypicals who don’t fucking get it–it’s TIME BLINDNESS and a deficit of IMPULSE CONTROL and EXECUTIVE FUNCTION.
- Sugar is going to make me extremely sick and all my weight and fitness issues come directly from carbohydrate overdose. STOP drinking soda, and avoid refined/homogenized starch!
- I’m about to enter the most painful and traumatizing stage of my formative years. The middle school I’ll be attending starting 6th grade will be hell on earth. I need to keep my FUCKING mouth shut and not talk to ANYONE unless they talk to me. I also need to practice the skill of mindful dissociation and compartmentalization. Stoicism will be my only shelter.
- Yes the adults around me are morons and don’t know what they’re talking about, but broken clocks can be right twice a day. In this case, they’re correct about homework and studying being important for the wrong reasons: It is NOT about satisfying the expectations of teachers, but rather it is entirely for practicing the skill of internalizing and recalling information. I will not regret time I spend on it.
- Mom and Dad are struggling financially right now. Dad’s racking up debt while Mom is the only reliable source of income. That’s why they would “hold onto” my birthday and xmas money “for safekeeping”. it is neither kept nor safe; it’s gone. All of it. HIDE ANY MONEY I RECEIVE… and tell grandpa to buy stock in Apple.
- Express early interest in nuclear energy and pursue it with everything I’ve got. Approach via Mechanical Engineering. I’ll enjoy Computer Aided Drafting in High School.
- Remember the major incidents to come: Columbine and zero tolerance policy in 1999, also dotcom bubble crash, Al Gore will lose in 2000, WTC will be destroyed by a terrorist attack 2001-09-11, Bush Jr administration will cause the housing market to crash as well by 2008, America succumbs to Fascism in 2016, and there will be a global plague in 2020.
- I’m a furry and I am not actually a boy despite being assigned male at birth. Embrace androgyny. Get online. Find my tribe. Draw a lot.
atlien51@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Middle school CANNOT be THAT traumatizing 😭😭
Draegur@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
[Exactly how traumatizing it was--Caution: NSFL]
I was sexually assaulted in the locker room by other students. No one believed me. I subsequently experienced a psychological breakdown. The traumagenic dissociation plunged me through egodeath and I stopped being a person for a year. I was literally not myself again until 2009. I am still slightly messed up to this day, but the two decades that followed immediately after the incident were especially rough.
graycube@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Fire up my PC and hit the dial up to check my email and BBS’s.
graycube@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Also go outside to grab my paper to read the comics first.
isgleas@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
ascii
nudesartuser224@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
:::spoiler NSFW
(.)(.)
:::
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
BBS’s
You can still do that, if you want.
- SDF (shameless plug) is still around
- Tildeverse, a loose association of pubnixes exists
- Gopher and Gemini (a protocol inspired by Gopher) have had some minor resurgence.
wabasso@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Will you use Turbo mode?
tomo@retrolemmy.com 2 weeks ago
Two chicks at the same time
JargonWagon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
“That’s what you’d do if you had a million dollars?”
“Hell yeah man, always wanted to do that.”Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Your comment reminded me that many times this was my go to activity. GF was BI and enjoyed me interacting with her and her various girlfriends.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That feels easier now than then
JackFrostNCola@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
Am i the only person who is driven insane by the insinuation that WiFi is synonomous with ‘having the internet’?
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
No. It’s the Chromebook/iPad generation. I feel like they don’t truly understand the Internet or computers. Having used Windows 98 and onward, my friends and I had to really learn to troubleshoot and learn the innards of the system. Nowadays, everyone is in a protective shell like Chrome OS, iOS or Android. It’s all dumbed down now. Simplicity isn’t always good imo
umbraroze@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Boot up my dad’s computer and play some shareware off the magazine cover disk I got months ago.
Or go to the library I guess.
nailbar@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I was probably playing Cannon Fodder at that time on our computer.
d: cd games cd cannon (space)(space)(F3)
Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I still like going to the library and reading real books
Omega_Jimes@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I really miss summers without wildfire smoke.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 weeks ago
Cell phones existed in 1995. They were expensive and just used for making phone calls, tho.
Had the internet tho. I’d be playing Doom or checking out Usenet forums.
stoly@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
OOOH Look at Mister FANCY PANTS with his dial up internet. You must be rich, Mister Fancy Pants.
I think I had AOL at the time…
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Making actual phone calls‽ The horror!
ZebulonP@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Nice use of the interrobang!
JeremyHuntQW12@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Everyone had mobiles in 1995, they were like $300 The Australian mobile network started in 1982
GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
The Australian mobile network was CB radio until 2015.
jsomae@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Am I stupid or is this sentence unparseable?
essell@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Does it have to be one or the other?
jsomae@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
I didn’t say xor.
katkit@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
[Imagine] you wake up in 1995. [There’s] no wifi [and] no cell phones. [What’s] the first thing you do?
jsomae@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
you’ve omitted “just.” If “just” were not in the sentence I would have instinctively filled it in with the missing words you’ve suggested. But I can’t reconcile “just” with any parse.
Lorindol@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I’d hug my mom. Then I’d go ask the pretty next door girl for a date; I lesrned later in life that she also had a crush on me at the time, but since I was plain looking and slightly overweight nerd I never thought I’d hsve any chance with her.
After getting that out of my system I’d do the obligatory investing.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’d walk out to the street then light me up that cigarette and strap shoes on my feet.
I’d probably try to find a reason where everything went wrong. I’d really like to find a reason why my money is all gone.
turtlesareneat@discuss.online 2 weeks ago
You got a dog? Still smoke?
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
and I can still play the guitar like a mother fuckin riot.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
You do mean your fee-f-f-f-feet?
RepulsiveChicken270@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Buy AAPL
DahGangalang@infosec.pub 2 weeks ago
Then start plotting buy/sell points for bitcoin and GME (don’t want to risk forgetting those over the next 15-25 years)
Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Go online, just like I did back then. I’ve been online before the web. And it was more fun. And no ads.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I didn’t go online when I first woke up. I often though would check see how my downloads did overnight. In 95 I was still using the local collage dial in.
Treczoks@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
At least, we had a leased line of 38400 bits per second for the whole department. ;-)
remon@ani.social 2 weeks ago
Get my SNES or Gameboy and play some Zelda.
Kinokoloko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Super Nintendo
ElAndvari@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Sega Genesis
Kinokoloko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
When I was dead broke, man I couldn’t picture this
bmcgonag@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Invest in Apple.
Kurroth@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
Apple, Amazon… Plenty of others to choose from that were considered joke stocks for some reason
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
Am I a grown adult that wakes up in a foster care home and the child that was there previously is gone?
Do I have to spend the rest of my life without an identity, or clinging to the “delusion” that I was this child that mysteriously disappeared?Am I a child with 40 years of life experience?
Not long after, When I was 14, my first consensual sexual experience involved an 18-year-old. We got caught, and folks widely regard/regarded her as being inappropriate/in the wrong. Huh. First girlfriend, high school dances/romances. College. Jesus - every relationship basically forever.
If I proceed down the same path, does that mean I’m the creep now?Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Envious of your first experience with an 18 year old
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
It was weird times. I mean, great. But weird and great to my half-cooked, traumatized, and hormone-addled teenage brain.
She was my sister’s best friend at the time and, well, physically she was like the girl who’d molested me as a child, which definitely had (and still has) an impact on my physical preferences.
I don’t exactly know what her deal was, but I think it was that any male attention just short-circuited her. I recall her telling me she loved me after a few weekends of sneaking around, and after about a month, spinning a yarn as pretext to try to move in with us.It’s probably a good thing we got caught a day or so after she moved in. Stupid football game. It pushed some TV show back, and my mom/sisters stayed up late to watch it. My sister (her best friend) came downstairs to check in on her and caught us in bed.
As for the how - I don’t know. I was an awkward gangly teenager, and she was honestly a pretty attractive girl. She had some self-confidence issues, I think.
It was like the first day she’d come over for a sleepover. I had never met her - my sister befriended her when we were in foster care, so this was not unusual - and I was instantly into her. I have no idea if she picked up on that or not. We were watching movies (me, 2 of my sisters, and her). The couches were occupied, and so I had a pallet on the floor. So did she. Our feet were under the big couch, hidden by the little skirt that all couches had back then, heads pointing toward the TV. I thought I felt her foot touch mine (but it was probably wishful thinking). I edged my foot over, discovering the distance between us was way too far for her to have accidentally touched me, and sort of bonked her foot with mine while awkwardly exploring. I pulled back just slightly and she immediately pressed her foot against mine. Footsie lead some sneaky suggestive glances, then surreptitiously bridging our blankets together and doing our best to conceal our roving hands. At one point during a bathroom break everyone had left the room, she told me her intentions, and I was very okay with them. We made a plan - I was going to go to bed, and she was going to find me after everyone was asleep. (She was sleeping in a guest room that was conveniently located - my bedroom was in the basement.) And that was that.She used to page me with “143” (code for I love you - which I don’t think either of us could know what that actually meant) and I used to page her back with same. We were so dumb and teenager-y. It was fun, but unhealthy. I didn’t get enough positive attention, and this sort of reinforced a belief that I could only be of service to someone sexually. If I wasn’t serving someone sexually, I wasn’t of value emotionally - another formative belief that was maybe not the best and is still hard to shake.
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
First thing? Honestly, probably curl into the fetal position and start bawling for a while as I fully relax for the first time since circa 2007.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
P.S. it’s April 19th and you’re currently relaxing in the Alfred P. Murray Federal Building. Enjoy your well-earned R&R!
nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
Oof! Hey, at least on the bright side it would be an extended repose.
mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
1995? Springer and the price is right in the morning (Bob Barker baby!) then Aladdin, Batman/Superman, Animaniacs and the Simpsons in the afternoon.
In-between all we get 90s commercials!
stoly@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
holy cow, I lived the afternoon half of that
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Please tell me it’s Friday, because that means the evening is Family Matters or Sliders, Boy Meets World, Step by Step, and Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 weeks ago
Buy Apple stock.
Bebopalouie@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
I buy relevant stocks to make me rich and revel in the fact that there is no internet again. I am 68 and have been there and done that already.
mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Yeah, anyone who answers with anything besides “invest in the tech companies you know will get huge, then get into bitcoin early and ride it all the way to $100k each” is going to fail to thrive.
n3cr0@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Buy a cellphone. We already had them in the late 80’s.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Here’s your new Motorola StarTAC with 120 anytime minutes and double-sized battery. That’ll be $600. Do you want to play with your Discover card?
jj4211@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Who am I, Parker Lewis?
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Try to find that cool looking Beavis and Butthead site I saw my brother browsing in the earliest days of our internet access. I had asked him where he found it and he couldn’t remember, so I searched and searched and searched to no avail. I never found that Beavis and Butthead site. I just remember there was a lot of yellow.
theWebCrawler@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Apparently there was an official Beavis and Butt-Head site hosted by MTV in the 90’s. I didn’t find any archives but there is a screenshot of it on the Web Design Museum. Not sure if it’s the same one because there isn’t a whole lot of yellow though.
saimen@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Buy bitcoin
db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Boot up my 486, call over my friends and play MK1
redwattlebird@lemmings.world 2 weeks ago
Go to all the live gigs, then invest. Probably steal PayPal.
anas@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Do you wake up as you are now, or as you were back then? I didn’t exist in 1995.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Start prepping for some strategic tech investments.
nialv7@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Butterfly effect, your investments changes the fate of the companies you invest in.
Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
GOOD, i didn’t want those companies to succeed anyway
arrow74@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
In terms of the global economy I doubt any of us could raise enough capital to impact corporate strategy