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Oh god

⁨365⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/d989a1b7-c8d7-4397-b26d-1e149b7a6eaf.jpeg

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • trslim@pawb.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My husband? Normal day.

    source
    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well looks like u got the best option out of everyone

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    • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My wife is on my left, it’s going to be interesting

      source
  • Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • RushLana@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I only have a table to my left… Well this is gonna hurt.

      source
      • arrow74@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        My couch is the only object on my left

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    • x4740N@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Put The Cat down shane dawson

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    • FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m assuming that that’s the “before” photo

      The “after” would be the same, but with matted fur

      source
  • 9point6@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I just walked past a parked car as I read that—it’s been nice knowing you all

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    • lime@feddit.nu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      We had cat in the bag

      Now we have car in the ass

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    • x4740N@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Humans fucking cars

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  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance’s fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?

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    • NKBTN@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same. Even with a LOT of lube I think this is going to sting

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    • FourWaveforms@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      No you’ve got it mixed up, he’s a-pitchin’.

      source
  • ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    He’s innocent!

    Oh no.

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    • drewbelloc@ani.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Is that south park episode again, now i need to rewatch it tonight

      source
      • ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This is my chinchilla. Her name is Muffin and she wants to rip the baseboards out from the wall so she can eat them

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      • GreatRam@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        🎶 Lemmiwinks 🎶

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  • rockerface@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Toilet paper? All according to plan

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    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same but would be maybe better to not have it go all the way up

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      • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I guess he’s trying to deep clean the pipes

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  • Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.

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    • FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Well, safety first

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  • brokenlcd@feddit.it ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What a horrible day to be working around mig welding machines.

    source
    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      As man, indeed.

      I’m in the bathroom on the 8th floor of a hospital building, so I figure it’s at least some of the wall? Hourly not the whole building though

      source
  • Chef_Boyardee@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m not putting my cat up my butt, you fucking weirdo.

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  • Routhinator@startrek.website ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Well… it’s a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.

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  • serpineslair@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A wall?!

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  • iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s a car. RIP

    source
  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My fiance is 5’ tall. I’m going to literally explode.

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    • x4740N@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Don’t look up “anal vore”

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    • eldain@feddit.nl ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Objectifying your fiance is cheating in this game.

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Depends on how you shove him tho

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    • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

      source
  • FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    OK, there’s actually a banana to my left, but I already did that today

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  • guiguinofake@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Poor cat

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  • reddfugee@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My poor Blåhaj…

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  • Thcdenton@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A entire bedroom wall

    Image

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  • sfled@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I now own a Browntooth speaker.

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  • DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This is rather convenient, as the object to my left is a roll of toilet paper

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  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s pointing at my finger, so an easy one.

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Now start diddling your diddle Diddlydee

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  • Hadriscus@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Why did I choose a ten-string guitar

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    • TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      chuckles nervously in double neck

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  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS

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  • banazir@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Well shit, I guess I have to re-enact 1 man 1 jar…

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    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh lawd not again

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    • Enkers@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Nonono… just do us a favour and don’t film it.

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  • baggins@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m lying on my right side in bed so I guess the ceiling?

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    • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same, except mine has a fan on it. 🪦

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    • QualifiedKitten@discuss.online ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Same, but lying on my left side, so the mattress?

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  • owsei@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A double width bus chair

    Fuck

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  • Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I was leaning against this when I opened the post:

    Image

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    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Just be glad it doesn’t have needles or thorns.

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  • Zenith@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me 😬

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  • Enkers@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hairbrush. It’d fit fine, but it’s got rubberized paint that’s coming off the handle. :/

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    • And009@lemmynsfw.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      ER has seen worst

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  • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔

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    • acidbattery@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
      [deleted]
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      • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Eww thats even worse

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    • gnutrino@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I reckon you could manage a towel with a bit of lube and some sort of stick to help it on its way.

      I believe on you, you’ve got this.

      source
    • kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Wrap it around a stick and then wrap it with rope like you would do with a turkey and then soak it in coconut oil

      Haven’t done it myself yet but sounds like it might work🤷‍♂️

      source
  • bizzle@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    It’s my wife so I guess it depends on how much of her

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