A balanced diet is important

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• otto@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

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  • SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    To this day, the “Now with FLAVOR!” part still kills me.

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• JoeTheSane@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  A lot of prospective boyfriend carers don’t know this, but once the typical boyfriend comes of age to be chosen by a carer, they are perfectly capable of procuring and preparing their own food!

  Just make certain that you show them where the food items are located, and they should be able to provide not only for themselves, but for you, too! Now, no one says it’s wrong to feed a boyfriend, but not playing to their capabilities not only deprives them of proper growth, but robs you of a core feature of boyfriends: sharing a life as equals!

  Just be a thoughtful and responsible carer, and you could have a happy home for decades, or until it shits on the floor and you have to put it down.

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  • FauxLiving@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m a big boyfriend, all growed up, I can make hot pocket and peanut butter sandwich.

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    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      That sounds amazing rn [8]

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  • Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You mean to say I should let it out of the enriching environment i’ve set up for it in my basement? What if it runs away???

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    • atomicorange@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Most boyfriends will come back home if they accidentally escape. Make sure to put a bell on your boyfriend’s collar so if he does get out he doesn’t decimate the local bird population.

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• FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Have you considered breast feeding?

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  • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    have you considered migrating back to reddit, so our eyes don’t have to read such comments like this one?

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    • FelixCress@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      There is a “ignore” button, sweetie.

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    • HoleLife@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

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  • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I tried a bit from the tap after my son was born, can say it was not bad at all

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• SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Mixing the pellets and wet food is what boyfriends crave.

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  • nichtburningturtle@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    But only do it on special events. Otherwise it won’t go back to regular food.

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    • BleatingZombie@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      We call it a “high value treat”

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  • Slovene@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    And getting to eat a peach several times a week.

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    • Hoimo@ani.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

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• uraniumcovid@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  just saw a video on nebula about a kid eating about 70 chicken nuggets every day for 7 years and nothing else. he did go blind, but the average relationship will not last that long, so problem solved.

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  • Echolynx@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Is that a Chubbyemu video or a knockoff?

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    • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      the real deal

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• daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Feed me something healthy so I don’t die at 40

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  • Speculater@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I’m over 40 and only eat pizza bites, KD, and poutine. I’ve never had a single health related…aggggggggggggggggggggggg

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    • jj4211@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      agggggggggggggggg

      He must have died while typing …

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• bss03@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  (Sorry if the NSFW spoilers don’t work; I tried.)

  ::: NSFW My boyfriend seem to prefer eating pussy. ;)

  (I don’t have a boyfriend or a supply of pussy.) :::

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  • WamGams@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    You don’t need a boyfriend to have your pussu eaten.

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  • Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Damn, you’d hit up ur local pussy dealer

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  • bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My last boyfriend‘s diet consisted of protein shakes, ass, dick, cum, G, and amphetamines.

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    • d4nt3@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      and amphetamines. Well that escalated into a different direction quickly. 😆

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• Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  It’s funny because men can’t cook

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  • 3dmvr@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    In my 20s, most men can cook? Is what I was going to say but then I rememebered I kinda thought and got a few ppl started cooking, you kinda just need to learn to experiement and be okay with failure, a lot of ppl just dont want to ruin their meal or waste food, gotta cook when you aren’t hungry for the love of the game lol.

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    • 3dmvr@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      If you’re a parent, teach them young, the sooner you make the mistakes the easier it is to pick stuff up

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  • nerv@lemmynsfw.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I feel personally attacked by that. Am man and able to cook.

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    • Jax@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m a man and I have to remind my girlfriend to put the toilet seat down. No she does not stand up to pee. Generalizations are stupid.

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  • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    There are only two things that women don’t do as well as men and that’s design dresses and cook.

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• Trainguyrom@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  The sad thing is I work at a small office with a half dozen nerdy dudes in their late 20s/early 30s and that is literally how all of them eat.

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  • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Do they rip the worst farts or am I just telling on myself that pizza rolls give me room-clearing war crimes-level gas bombs?

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    • Classy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      The Amish dudes at my work absolutely destroy the toilets. Smears going up the tank, hair everywhere, toilet often clogged. What the fuck are their wives and mothers feeding them??

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• Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  I have no idea what those things on the left are.

  In the past week or two I be cooked with horse, venison and reindeer. All more moral meats than factory farmed, imo. Delicious as fuck when you known what you’re doing.

  On a sidenote, the small store I got the reindeer from… I told the shopkeep how the reindeer had been wonderful when I got some more venison from them, and how I was enjoying eating cruelty free meat. Perhaps she didn’t really listen too what I said as her answer was to offer me some veal. (I did buy it though but that’s so immoral in comparison, sort of glad I fucked up the dish with too many mushrooms so I didn’t particularly enjoy the veal.)

  This reindeer was great:

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  I’m not high on presentation but I was taking pictures for my food log for health reasons so I put a basil leaf on top. That’s gluten and dairy free though, as it’s gluten-free pasta. Which suck in general, btw, this is the only acceptable one I’ve found (Rummo).

  I start by slow-cooking veggies for a few hours, mirepoix/soffritto style but with large veggies instead of diced. During that take the mince out to warm and rub some salt and spices into it. Then flash it in a hot pan and add to sauce and start building tomato and red wine based sauce around those. Simple, just takes a bit of time.

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  • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I have ao many questions on this comment. Is it satire? Is it genuine? But the real question (if you’re serious) is - how in the world have you not heard of Tostino Pizza Rolls?

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    • Dasus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      I’m being 100% serious.

      I’ve heard of Pizza Rolls in some shows. I just had no idea what they looked like.

      My freezer looks a bit different to yours I guess.

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    • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      how in the world have you not heard of Tostino Pizza Rolls

      I dont think they’re sold on my continent

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Pizza is highly recommended.

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• FrowingFostek@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  What’s the husband food look like?

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  • rockerface@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Borscht

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    • FrowingFostek@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Damn, ya got me. I love beets.

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  • Saltycracker@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My wife makes chicken and steak. My experience good.

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• hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  No veggies? No dessert?

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  • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I have gotten used to coffee and desert. I am officially an old man now.

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• MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Pet boyfriend, huh?

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