cross-posted from: reddthat.com/post/70827890
Few adult men are killed by adult women. Our fear is real
Don’t know whether to upvote for spreading awareness of women’s issues or downvote for encouraging gender wars discourse
Few adult men are killed by adult women.
Submitted 3 days ago by FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://reddthat.com/pictrs/image/5123aee3-660a-4f0e-ae36-058832af0ae8.jpeg
Comments
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 days ago
werty@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
It’s in a shitpost sub, it’s ragebait. I use it to block misogynists so that’s something.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 days ago
lemmy shitpost never fails to amaze me with how concentrated its ragebait is
Aedaz_@lemmy.zip 3 days ago
I like to turn the shower on and fill the tub up and pretend I’m in a submarine that’s been hit
nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 3 days ago
How do you plan your escape?
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Raise the periscope while still near the surface and hope that a friendly ship spots the feather first.
5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 3 days ago
That’s a perfect metaphor for crying over „man hating feminists“.
Godric@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I like to turn up the Bluetooth speaker and pretend I’m Stan Rogers performing in a smokey bar, using my showerbeer as a microphone.
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 days ago
The overwhelming majority of men aren’t doing that shit.
Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Any amount of men doing that shit is unacceptable.
Ifera@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Same as mothers committing infanticide, parental alienation, paternity fraud, rape and many other crimes.
Acting like an entire gender is guilty of the crimes of a few is inherently wrong and it is called collective responsibility, and it can also be played both ways, which is a complete waste of time.
It just leads to fighting, throwing blame around and it does not help bring solutions to the people actually suffering.
hansolo@lemmy.today 2 days ago
Hey. Hey, try this.
“The overwhelming majority of white land owning men in 1860 were not slave owners, therefore we should minimize the reality of slavery as a problem the slaves had. Maybe if the slaves had smiled more at white land owners, everyone would have been happier.”
www.usatoday.com/story/news/…/7980243002/
Oh. Hey, don’t quite work the same, right? Kinda like it’s a societal and cultural issue. Oh… Huh, maybe it’s worth a think first before you say things.
Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Only a white dude would make a comparison this braindead
Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 3 days ago
The overwhelming majority of men have failed to protect women from the bad men. Good men don’t just not abuse women. Good men actively protect women from abuse.
Men have more physical power and more political power in the patriarchy. And with great power, comes great responsibility. Spider-Man uses his power to protect women from abuse. Every man should be like Spider-Man.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Spider-man is a vigilante who constantly fucks up and makes the system worse. He is also, and I cannot stress this enough, a work of fiction. Relying on the individual wills of physically and politically powerful men, even well-intentioned ones, is how we get to authoritarianism and fascism. The answer is not in individuals, but in systems.
In reality, the closst thing we have to Spiderman IRL is the NYPD, and we’ve already seen how ACAB.
The men with the most physical and political power are the ones abusing that power. The problem is the concentration of power, not men.
What happens when the “bad” men have more physical and political power than the “good” ones do in a system that allows those individuals to exercise that power unilaterally?
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 days ago
So are we supposed to like psychically detect instances of roofieing and Instant Transmission into the middle of shady bars to punch out evil men or what?
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 days ago
Good men actively protect women from abuse.
Do you have suggestions for how we can go about doing this? If I see a man being an asshole I’ll say something but it’s pretty rare that any of the abusive shit women in my life have gone through has happened when anyone else was there to do anything about it. Usually their abusers wait til they’re alone. I’m not trying to argue with you, I’m legitimately looking for ideas.
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 2 days ago
The scary thing is how many men no one would ever suspect of doing things like that do it.
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Why is this here?
sangeteria@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
I agree with the message but it’s not a shitpost.
Allero@lemmy.today 1 day ago
I disagree with the message but it’s a shitpost
lobut@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
The world would be better if we had better empathy for each other. I don’t think the poster thinks that men’s problems don’t exist. However so many men seemed to have interpreted it that way. I think the poster is just asking for empathy. There’s no need to be defensive about it if you’re a guy. All they’re asking for is awareness of their problem. We can do better than just dismissing their concerns outright.
Cosmonauticus@lemmy.world 2 days ago
This is just instagtam grade ragebait. There are more productive ways we can discuss issues specific to gender and this kind of bullshit is not helping. I come to lemmy to get away from other social media gender wars horseshit.
lobut@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
There are more productive ways but I also feel as though there are better ways for you to reply to me …
If you feel it’s ragebait and maybe it is … then that’s fine. I just see it resonated with a female only community here.
I won’t disagree you on this … if that’s what you came for Lemmy for then this is very annoying.
rekabis@programming.dev 2 days ago
Counterpoint: archive.ph/s0bTd
And she only got caught because she went to the police. Most accusations are only meant to destroy careers, so never come close to anything even remotely investigative. HR washes their hands of the man, (usually) blackballs him in the industry, and never tries to find out anything more beyond the woman’s accusation.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
Men are seeing incidents like this, and learning by example before painful experience hammers it home.
lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 days ago
The article is 7 years old. That’s how far you have to use back to find an example
FoxtrotDeltaTango@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
[deleted]MFGnomes@lemmy.world 2 days ago
No, not fair point. That is one instance of this happening. While horrible, it doesn’t change the fact that one sex is much more likely to be the victim of the other. Women are justified in being wary of men.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 days ago
Why are they being racist and using a black man to illustrate dangerous masculinity!!!1!
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Dangerously sexy
Allero@lemmy.today 1 day ago
It is widely known that only straight white men are responsible for all the evil in the world!
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Reminds me of an IDLES lyric: “Men are scared women will laugh in their face, women are scared it’s their lives men will take.”
aaa999@lemmy.world 3 days ago
they yourjokebutworsed margaret atwood
rekabis@programming.dev 2 days ago
Men are scared women will laugh in their face
Counterpoint: archive.ph/s0bTd
An innocen man lost his career, his wife and children, and his home. That’s a little more than “a laugh to the face”.
And she only got caught because she went to the police. The vast majority of accusations are designed to never come even remotely close to anything properly investigative. They’re meant to impart the maximum amount of social and economic destruction with a minimum of accountability - and preferably none at all.
Cherry on top:
As for the good Samaritan, he says the incident has deterred him from helping a young woman ever again.
And a large number of men are learning from the misfortunes of other men, rather than experiencing such pain and destruction personally. This is why “chivalry” is dead. And good riddance.
toomanypancakes@crazypeople.online 2 days ago
I would like to note the man in your example is still alive, which is not a courtesy always extended to women
PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 2 days ago
No, the vast majority of accusations are not designed, they’re just the truth. Sounds like this dude was already sexist though, why would this only keep him from helping women of a vague-yet-predetermined age? Anyone could make such a claim and ruin someone’s life. If he said he refused to help people of the same skin color as her, would that justify being racist? This woman clearly has a diagnosable mental disorder, it doesn’t exactly point to a gender-wide conspiracy, and it certainly doesn’t belie the claim that women have more to fear from men than men do from women. Chivalry should die, it’s just window dressing for systemic gender inequality.
Allero@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Anyone at all who gives this more that two seconds of thought knows these issues are not to be compared, but to be seen as part of one complex that should be solved as one, should we ever hope to resolve it.
Accentuating issues on one side while grossly belittling ones on the other isn’t gonna cut it. You won’t magically fix the culture of aggression and dominance as the only acceptable behavior, inability to complain and find healthy guidance, social hierarchies and pressures, exclusion and alienation of men from large parts of social life that can be vital to them, the indoctrination by “men are dangerous”, by reducing it to “oh women don’t smile at them, cry me a river”. Neither will the gross overgeneralizations, lumping half the planet’s population into some psycho category, help resolve the matter.
Men need to receive care, attention, to have a safe space for their emotions, to unlearn the unhealthy parts in a safe environment while keeping in touch with themselves and a healthy masculinity. They need healthy interactions with women to receive a balanced and healthy perspective, learn proper boundaries, dispel unhealthy views. We should be on the lookout for individuals who need help and professional attention, and who is most likely to pose danger if left this way. The very things that make some men dangerous grow at their most in isolation. We shouldn’t let it happen, if not for the sake of men, then for the sake of women.
Women can - and should - take part in that. Let’s start simple: it’s totally healthy to address safety concerns, and a lot need to be said about it, but let’s work on the second part, let’s not compare or reduce someone else’s feelings and struggles in a neverending tug of war. We can talk, and there are intertwined issues on both sides that we need to untangle together. Let’s get it done.
DrSoap@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
No one owes anyone a smile.
Allero@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
Sure. But that’s not the point
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 3 days ago
I’ll counter this with any “real housewives” tv drama bullshit.
Proves that women are all etcetc
WaitThisIsntReddit@lemmy.world 3 days ago
As soon as guns were invented this bullshit was over. Anyone can be killed by anyone. If you’re worried about it, get a fucking gun. Guns illegal? Better study the blade.
Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 days ago
You are an idiot
okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Godric@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Holy shit, that guy is so cool, changing my PfP, brb
LouNeko@lemmy.world 3 days ago
What about a the other 4.2 billion women that don’t live in Shithole USA?
ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 2 days ago
Which part of “study the blade” didn’t you understand?
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 days ago
This better be satire or I’m showing 1% of my power and taking my upvote back
OfCourseNot@fedia.io 3 days ago
What about if blades illegal? And before you go there, yeah defence sprays illegal, sticks illegal, stones illegal, even a fucking spoon illegal if they think or you state that it's for self-defence.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I use getting attacked for self-defense so now that’s illegal too.
rumba@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Well, the first paragraph happens a lot and for real reasons,
The second paragraph is exceedingly rare, but not zero
But the overall sentiment is not wrong
The best this post can hope to achieve is to bait the people who perpetuate b into the open where people who are pissed off that A has to happen can make them defend their position and thusly make an incredibly small chance to make a difference.
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 3 days ago
Ah yes, the very unbiased and fair comparison between murder and podcast incels. There are no real issues that men are facing…
I don’t understand why people can’t support women while supporting men too. I can. You can do too. It is not women vs men. It is tradition/sexism vs individual freedom/respect.
Gonzako@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I hate these kinds of posts too. All they do is promote division in these times we have to stick together against the billionaires
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 3 days ago
The worst part… it works. E.g. on me, and i know. It is difficult to see these kind of posts, which are clearly misandry, and then hear people deny the trend for misandry, especially online.
OBVIOUSLY there is a shit tonne of misogyny, especially online and that is a big problem. But we shouldn’t ignore the trend to misandry. It is not a competition and we fight against misogyny better if we fight sexism in general, I believe.
But the posts make me feel like a shocking amount of people are not against sexism but just misogyny. How am I supposed to feel like those are not my enemy when I am opposed to sexism?
Then I spend time with the people that I love and I am good again but… it is fucking poison.
AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 2 days ago
While I do agree with your sentiment I think its critical we work thru the issue so the rich can’t use it against us. Somehow get to an understanding that men and women face issues, both should be supported.
There’s still too many men who can’t understand why a woman would ever choose the bear.
glitchdx@lemmy.world 2 days ago
On the one hand, I agree. On the other hand, most men do not understand that to be a woman means constantly being in danger.
“But not all men are-” I know. Everyone knows. There’s good people of every gender, that’s not in question. The problem is that people keep saying “Not all men” in direct response to women expressing that they don’t feel safe. Same energy as telling a black person “All lives matter”.
There’s the men this meme is about, and there’s the men this meme is for, and the venn diagram is two separate circles. The assholes with the podcasts aren’t going to understand, because they’re the problem. They think that by being nice they’re entitled to sex, and then get vindictive when no sex. Most everyone else doesn’t understand because the thought of being such a douch doesn’t occur to them.
Katana314@lemmy.world 2 days ago
While it’s not an “excuse”, I think the “explanation” tends to be that speech from Nick in Zootopia: If people are going to regard you as shifty and untrustworthy, why bother being anything else.
Like I said, not a valid reason, but I do see how that toxic manosphere grows through fear.
Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I don’t think this is entirely accurate. The equivalent of an “all lives matter” person is a “men have issues too” person, not a “not all men” person. The first two are from people taking issue with advocacy for one group (black people; women) because they see it as exclusionary of or harmful to their group (white people; men)*. In contrast, “not all men” people are responding to a percieved attack directed at them, not just to being excluded from targeted advocacy. Subtly but meaningfully different, imo.
* Technically non-black people and non-women, I suppose? But this is the general pattern I’ve recognized.