>spend 8 hours a day, minimum, sitting next to some guy
>try to make small talk to break up the monotony of wage slavery
>guy doesn’t even respond, or gives short answers at best
>damn, he must either not like me or isn’t a very sociable person
Anon is rude at work
Submitted 23 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/81e9042c-bc0d-4097-8288-47da3e851893.jpeg
Comments
BananaIsABerry@lemmy.zip 8 hours ago
Univ3rse@lemmynsfw.com 22 hours ago
Anybody who thinks that behavior is rude is a busy body snake and is best avoided, regardless.
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
This is meme has a bad implied advise. You have to interact with your coworkers in so far as you build working relationship to trust each other, because teamwork and professionalism is required in most jobs. Also, building a work friendly relationship with coworkers will pay off when you want to get promotion or recognition, because you will get good word of mouth from colleagues and thus build a good reputation.
I understand where people are coming from with this, but one has to balance knowing when to recognise if your workmates can become good friends, or knowing how to keep professional but friendly distance. Unless you work in an environment where teamwork has less importance, or you don’t plan to move up the corporate ladder which requires good reputation, or really don’t want to make friends with colleagues, then by all means be “rude”.
halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works 20 hours ago
I fall into “rude coworker” territory, but have managed to do really well in my career. Different groups at my company have requested me to move to them, was just promoted to Expert in my software product, and actually just got offered a job with a 30% raise by one of the clients I work with (which I ultimately accepted and start next month).
My secret is that I’m a hard worker and I’m very thorough with everything I do. I take mentoring others seriously, and although I’m not naturally a very patient person, I am always patient with my coworkers and clients.
You don’t have to be good at socializing to climb your way up, but you do have to make up for it by actually being good at your job.
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
I take mentoring others seriously, and although I’m not naturally a very patient person, I am always patient with my coworkers and clients.
This is what I mean. You have to have “people’s skills” because it is important in a job where teamwork and mentoring are required. You don’t have to socialise on every company events or be friends with coworkers outside of work. But being professional and friendly goes a long way. I know of people who may be good at their jobs on technical level, but are bad with managing people because they lack both social skills and social intelligence, which makes them pass over for promotions.
Saleh@feddit.org 20 hours ago
I just ask people about their lifes. Most people love to talk about themselves and i have to talk less about myself and dont run out on unproblematic small talk points.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
Also, building a work friendly relationship with coworkers will pay off when you want to get promotion or recognition, because you will get good word of mouth from colleagues and thus build a good reputation.
Haha, yeah, and just look them in the eye and give them a firm handshake!
Meanwhile, in modern life, the way to get promoted and better paid is job hopping, or starting on your own.
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
You could only get away so much with job hopping. And besides, I have job hopped before, adjusting to new working culture and environment can be challenging and eventually drain you as a person.
kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
I’ve found few people I’d call friends at jobs. Most people who tried to be “friendly” with me were social climbing shitheads working an angle or emotionally-stunted people trying to recruit me into their petty shop floor dramas.
SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 hours ago
I basically agree with all but the coworkers not friends thing. You spend a fuckton of basically everyday with these people - you need to make it not a living hell for everybody, and the only people who ever say this shit are the most hostile, passive aggressive, self centered, backstabbing, anti-competitive, two-faced people you’ll ever meet.
Like sure you don’t have to give each oral and have lunch together, but, christ, don’t be such cutthroat selfish pricks to each other, that’s what the billionaires want.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 18 hours ago
Friends are people I like, share hobbies and interests with and want to have around me in my life. I picked my friends myself and I’m proud and happy with them.
Coworkers are people I’m stuck in a room with 40 hours a week. Of course you should be polite and friendly, because you’re stuck with them. They got foisted on me and dealing with is part of why I get paid.
There’s a huge difference between “not a living hell” and “sharing my private life and feelings”.
blarghly@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
If you dislike so many people you work with and feel like you are “stuck in a room” at you job, why don’t you get a different job, where you like your coworkers and enjoy what you do?
rooroo@feddit.org 18 hours ago
I fully agree with most of what you’re saying. But I also have many close friends who started out as coworkers, but we found out we’re enjoying each other’s company.
Hell I’m crashing on a former colleague’s (and former boss’s even) couch right now, and another colleague in the same city offered theirs. Another ex coworker is my deepest confidant in just about any topic.
It’s a bit tricky to find out which people are worth deepening the relationship with, and how to cordially avoid the others. But that’s just like everywhere else tbh.
RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 16 hours ago
I feel like if you are friendly with your co-workers it makes the days go by faster.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Tends to make the job easier, too. Lots of accumulated experience that goes neglected when people hide in their cubbies and don’t interact with one another.
t_berium@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Only those who have nothing else in their lives but work find this unfriendly. Work is not an event that I attend voluntarily, but to earn a living. I am polite, nice and helpful to my colleagues in everything that revolves around work. Anything beyond that is not a matter of course and should not be taken for granted.
fodor@lemmy.zip 16 hours ago
A lot of that is going to be job specific. If you isolate yourself, you could run into various problems. First, you probably won’t be communicating with union members, and those members might be the kind of people who can help you if the bosses try to fuck you over. Second, sometimes work is stressful, and you might want support from people who technically have no duty to help you. If you treat them decently on a somewhat regular basis, they might make time for you even if they don’t need to. This also connects with your friends. It depends on your relationships of course, but some friends don’t want to hear about work complaints. If that’s the bulk of your friends, then you might want coworkers who are willing to listen to work complaints.
And it’s all nice and fine to say that you only attend work to earn a living, but the reality is you could have worked at a dozen places, and you chose a specific one. No one’s forcing you to be there. You could have gotten a job at 7-Eleven or Walmart, but you didn’t. You’re there of your own volition.
I don’t think anyone takes for granted halfway decent co-workers. We’ve all worked with total jerks, and people often have natural reasons to act like total jerks from time to time. If you’re one of them, that’s okay, you do you.
t_berium@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I’ve been ripped off enough by companies to only do exactly what I’m paid to do. That doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to help colleagues who have questions while I’m just about to disappear into the evening. It also doesn’t mean that I can’t talk to my colleagues about work-related issues, such as annoyances or anything else. As I said, I’m polite, friendly and helpful as long as it’s work-related. And I don’t do it because I hope to gain some kind of advantage from it, but because I want to be treated that way myself. The fact that nobody is forcing me to work at a specific job is true, but it misses the general point of the thread (and indeed of what I said). The fact is that people are people and therefore pretty much the same or at least similar everywhere - that’s the case in my line of work. And I have experienced countless times that colleagues are only too happy to share all the details of the past weekend with you, from family outings to binge drinking to adultery, but they don’t give a shit whether you had a good weekend yourself and dont even ask back. Most of them are not able to communicate at eye level at the absolute minimum and just constantly present themselves and expect some kind of recognition or admiration in return. And I’m supposed to share private things with people like that? For what? So that they can work with me more professionally? Or maybe just to make them feel better about themselves? I don’t care about that crap, let’s stick to what we came to work for. That’s called professionalism. Apart from that, it’s a mystery to me why you only consider colleagues to be halfway decent if they want to share private things with you. Maybe you should reconsider your expectations.
Zink@programming.dev 10 hours ago
So yeah this is me. I’m sure it’s a lot of us here. If you’re lucky you also have that flavor of neurospice that comes with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, so that not only is the social interaction itself taxing, but then the idea of sharing personal information is horrifying.
The results you get from it still depend on how you choose to react to your environment. Importantly, your brain and neurodivergence are part of that environment.
And it’s ok. Being friendly and participating in chats is not going to sign you up to go to anybody’s house. Sharing some details about your weekend plans won’t invite criticism or sign you up for other activities. (but if you work in a toxic environment, use your own act accordingly)
I think even with those of us who are very introverted, a lot of how “present” versus “withdrawn” you come across still comes down to things like depression, anxiety, and fatigue. I am fortunate right now to have a pretty good environment between a good job, the right medications, and mental/physical health. I’ll smile and wave at folks around the office, or BS about nerdy shit with whichever other engineers are in the office that day.
…but then I’ll still put in my earbuds and not talk to anybody for hours on end. If another person doesn’t strike up a conversation, maybe I don’t talk out loud all day. And at lunch I’ll not just sit in my car but drive home to eat!
There’s also something deeper and more fundamental at play here. Part of figuring out how to take care of myself and enjoy existence more has been to consciously nudge myself towards actions that I expect to benefit my well-being, rather than what works best for me in the moment. It can be little things, but they do add up.
For example, stopping to ask somebody who does customer demos what interesting stuff they’ve been working on. It seems like the typical in-office time waster. However, a short positive social interaction with a friendly face can boost both of your moods and make both of your days better.
This is the point where I’d make a joke about how wasting a bit of the company’s time to improve the mental health of two human beings is a win-win in my book. But we all know that happier employees will literally produce better results for the employer!
PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 21 hours ago
Man... it's so weird.
They want to have Friday beers in the office. They want to go to the game together. They want to organize little events after work that I'm semi-obligated to go to. I went to one, reluctantly, and one of the executives more or less made it clear to me that he had been against hiring me in the first place (for understandable reasons).
No I don't like you people, you're pod people, why the fuck do you do this with your lives
CalipherJones@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
They could be vying for position.
“I was ashamed of myself when I realised life was a costume party and I attended with my real face” Franz Kafka
PhilipTheBucket@quokk.au 20 hours ago
Yeah bo
I know my share of history
How hard it is to be free
From wearing masks that turn to skin
Hiding what you could have been
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
I’m self employed, which means I get to avoid the vast majority of these events. Unfortunately it also means that them inviting me is a Big Deal, and saying no isn’t really an option.
One company did a quarterly outing to a brewery. Now, ignoring it’s a bad idea to get drunk with coworkers (and then drive home), they only had IPAs, and I loathe IPAs. And they had “BBQ” which rivalled the mediocreest microwave leftovers.
And they claimed to love it. Either they’re huge liars, or have horrible taste. But I did note only about a third of their employees were there at the time.
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 hours ago
If we try to talk to coworkers we are told to get back to work, but then I’m expected to show up to extra events and get drunk with people I usually am not even allowed to talk to? No thanks, why are they surprised by this?
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 hours ago
Any company culture that expects you to be friends with your coworkers is a dumpster fire. Run quickly.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Any company culture that expects you to be friends with your coworkers is a dumpster fire.
Any company culture that demands friendship, certainly. But there are more than a few firms that do a good job of cultivating it naturally. When work requires collaboration and people spend lots of time together, they often form bonds of friendship of their own accord.
I find that companies which cubicle off their staff, silo the work so its never more than one or two people working on a given project, deliberately run short-staffed (particularly when business is slow and there’s ample time for socializing), have managers that give you heat for any kind of non-work activity, and visibly stack-rank staff so that everyone is on edge about layoffs can create an environment where people are poorly socialized.
But so much of this is about squeezing “efficiency” out of workers. If you’re not friendly with the people you spend a solid third of your day with, you’re not doing anyone any favors except the bosses. Alienating you from your co-workers is the end result of the long tail of union busting and precarious employment.
KuroiKaze@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
This is definitely extremely true and far more accurate than op which reads like they work at a grocery or fast food
Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 hours ago
Strong disagree. You can absolutely be friendly with coworkers and enjoy working with them without crossing the boundary into your personal life, and this is usually the best for long-term happiness at work. This is especially beneficial whenever people change roles and move to management - it’s exceptionally difficult to be a manager to a friend.
Paradachshund@lemmy.today 11 hours ago
Looks like someone’s got a case of the Mondays! /j
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
None of those things are rude.
Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 17 hours ago
Correct, but refusal to engage in small talk, banter, discussing your lives, and the occasional social outing, will have many see you as stand offish, asocial, and your refusal to do this basic community building stuff, as being rude.
eskimofry@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Being forced to do these things seems childish
NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip 9 hours ago
The rude part is judging people.
Not wanting to engage in small talk or banter in a situation that they would not be in unless they were paid is completely understandable. Everyone is different. Nothing on that list is rude.
Townlately@feddit.nl 21 hours ago
I’m super social at work and share a lot of intimate details about my life, but even I don’t think this should get you hated on. There are a few people who don’t share on my team, and I respect the shit out of that.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Just know, the reason we don’t share, is because one of two things.
Either A) We’re boring as hell, and don’t want to have the same conversation every day.
“What did you do last night?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“I sat in a chair and didn’t move for literally 9 hours. Around the 5 hour mark I had to go to the bathroom. But I still didn’t move. Eventually the feeling passed.”
“Ugh. Fine. You don’t have to tell me…”
Except that’s literally true.
OR…B) Wild BDSM orgys with women tied to each other with shared ballgags so they’re always kissing. As we ask them trivia questions, and if they get it wrong, they get whipped. Then we all take turns and fuck each others wives. The wives are wearing hoods. So we don’t even know who we’re fucking, and they don’t know who’s fucking them. Sometimes one of them gets pregnant, and 5 years later you realize that her son kind of looks like you. She and her husband are raising it as their own, but you know. So they have to know too, right? I mean, c’mon. It’s obvious. So now you wonder if you should talk with them about it or just move. Eventually that kid is going to be old enough to figure out he looks more like his neighbor than his dad. Hmmmmm…
“Hey, what’d you do last night?”
“NOTHING!”
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 21 hours ago
When you’re trying to be friendly with a coworker and they say “we’re coworkers not friends” that’s pretty fucking rude IMO. The other ones though never bothered me.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 19 hours ago
Obviously don’t SAY that it out loud.
nesc@lemmy.cafe 15 hours ago
Yeah, had one of those interactions, it felt horrible and that person exploded from me saying hi and some generic routine like how are you.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 21 hours ago
If you run into someone at work who uses this list as a way to judge other workers … it’s probably time to change jobs.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
It me
Flax_vert@feddit.uk 16 hours ago
Someone on linkedin made that meme.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 16 hours ago
I never trust the ‘spends lunch break in car’ types. First one I ran into was listening to Rush Deadbaugh and the second was talking to god or something.
ZebulonP@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I’m one of those people. I wouldn’t be caught dead listening to Rush Limbaugh or his ilk though, and I’m also not talking to god. I’m just recharging my social battery.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
Oh hey, it’s me!
A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
This is exactly how I had to get by when I worked with other electricians. Working for myself is the tits.
bobs_monkey@lemmy.zip 21 hours ago
There’s a lot of herd mentality in the trades and it’s fucking exhausting. Not only is it almost expected to go for beers and jack off about work after work every other day, but you’re up a creek if you don’t have the same views on absolutely everything as them either. Agreed, running my own electrical shop is rad.
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Hey, so what’s your views on religion, politics, and class dividions???
eats popcorn and glares as you answer
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
I’m like this at work, but I have great (distant) relationships with my coworkers. I also work like a dog because I enjoy it, so that might have something to do with it.
I will grant you, I do greet people on my own and ask after their families/health if it’s been a long time or if they was something going on. That’s because I’m trying to be polite but not friendly and it works beautifully.
JingoBingo@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
"Doesn’t talk unless spoken to " is fine if you don’t want to talk about you private life but if it is work related you need to speak up when it’s necessary. Otherwise some co-workers start taking credit for shit you’ve done. Not to mention if you don’t build some rapport with co-workers good chance they don’t recommend you for a promotion or a raise or something even if you do your job well. Because you need to remind people of the work you’ve done and that only happens when you talk.
Also in large companies it’s good to be in the loop of what’s going on in the office, it’s how you can sniff out an opportunity for a raise or promotion or know when to leave before the ship sinks.
Matriks404@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I don’t mind grabbing a beer with coworkers after work, but that’s it. In work I’d rather have my mind somewhere else.
Randomgal@lemmy.ca 6 hours ago
Where tf is this rude? Someone like this would fly under the radar 9/10 times and be considered a great employee unless thy aren’t doing their job.
lka1988@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
“Rude” to the social butterflies at the office.