Literally yes.
do you think freewill truly exists?
Submitted 2 days ago by Goku@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/86346738-f24e-4e23-b781-4c7c87afbf08.png
Comments
vala@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 2 days ago
Small talk is the equivalent of dogs sniffing each others ass. The topic isn’t really the point, it’s just a quick and easy way to gauge another person’s mood and attitude towards you. It’s a skill worth developing. And I say this as someone with social anxiety.
lobut@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
I think the analogy is a bit crude but quite bang on.
I think it’s a good skill too and I have been clinically diagnosed with anxiety.
deaf_fish@lemm.ee 1 day ago
So small talk is a horrible name then.
Could one, instead, just ask “Hey, are you willing to get into a big deep metaphysical conversation right now?”
supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
small talk
Personally I think it is very interesting and purely object oriented name.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 days ago
But most people who are invested in small talk will be giving the signals they think the other person wants, making it less useful than not talking at all.
This is coming from someone who learned how to do small talk, watches other people completely flip their personality the moment they are out of the small talk, and only uses it when necessary because everyone else does. I do avoid common topics I have no interest in, like watching sports, and avoid getting into the weeds of topics and that works well enough for anyone I would want to talk to later.
exasperation@lemm.ee 2 days ago
But most people who are invested in small talk will be giving the signals they think the other person wants, making it less useful than not talking at all.
I don’t think this is true. When I engage in small talk, I don’t see it as me bending flexibly to the conversation partner’s wants. I’m testing to see if there are common overlaps that we can talk about, and talking for the sake of being entertained. If the other person turns out not to be a good conversation partner for me in that moment, I don’t think anything of just moving on. I’m not trying to please them, I’m trying to enjoy myself.
I can’t imagine I’m in the minority here.
menas@lemmy.wtf 19 hours ago
No I think not. But the feeling of freewill do exist and seems universal. So if we have a fact based approach, it does not change much. I think there it a lot of proof that freewill is at least very weak compare to social determinism.
match@pawb.social 2 days ago
if you’re in a relationship you can just hug instead of small talk
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Shit got real in the shit post sub.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Between neurological relationship building, and predetermination, there’s much to talk about!
Also, how’s the weather in your area today? It’s sunny with quite a wind here; had a spot of rain earlier.
TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It’s been pristine here! Just perfect weather. Sunny and about 75.
I was, as a teenager, a person who hated small talk. Looking back, the big things I wanted to talk about were and are important to me, but I realize that I like listening to people’s thinking and let them vibe where they feel heard and happy!
ameancow@lemmy.world 1 day ago
This is a surprisingly powerful topic for a lot of people*
those people particularly being the ends of the spectrum between “people who discovered how easy it is to get people to like you” and "angry introverts who don’t want to change.
EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I mean You can hate small talk with strangers and co workers but still enjoy small talk with your partner
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
“How’s the weather, Bob?”
“Please! My wife asks me that in the bedroom! Not you, here, at the water cooler.”
minorkeys@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Need for small talk suggests the contents of your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk, I wish you the best in finding someone similar who can appreciate its value to your life. I’ll be elsewhere and hope you wish me the same luck.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
I’m afraid you’ve missed the point. Smalltalk is about maintaining and strengthening relationship, which involves knowing about each others’ lives and feelings. And it does double duty: taking the time to ask and listen is a way to express that the other person is important enough to you - i.e. to express love.
It’s not the only way, and many of us don’t do well at smalltalk, but it’s a valuable way. And,
your thoughts revolves around topics and depth of thought suitable for small talk
Indeed! It means your thoughts have time for the other person’s life and feelings.
minorkeys@lemmy.world 1 day ago
For many, small talk does not strengthen or maintain a relationship. It is something that works for some people. Others endure it for the sake of the one who does but it doesn’t hold the same role for them and is not a necessity to have a loving and healthy relationship for everyone. Just as we express and receive love differently, small talk doesn’t serve the same role in everyone’s life. If it does for you, that’s great, hopefully you’re getting what you need.
As for the double duty, that is true of all communication, whether small or not. As noted above, it may be an expression of love for some people, but it’s far from universal.
Not everyone finds the smaller, and often repetitive, experiences of their day to be important or valuable and people are perfectly capable of having time for the other person’s life and feelings without the focus being those topics or experiences.
It sounds like you value smalltalk in your life but may not accept that it isn’t as widespread as you seem to imply. I don’t doubt it does what you claim for yourself and others you know.
CalipherJones@lemmy.world 1 day ago
In this moment you are euphoric.
Shardikprime@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 day ago
But that would be great! Let’s start an awesome exploration of a very existential topic. Certainly better and more interesting that talking about shopping.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Well, but if the other person did some shopping, do you care how it went? They might.
“How was the shopping?”
“Ugh, this idiot cut me off in the aisles so many times, I feel so frustrated.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Like, does his existence even matter? Perhaps he’s a figment of our collective imagination. It’s so maddening to think your own brain is creating fictions that cut you off in the aisle.”
“I know, right? It made me wonder what if I’m the figment in his imagination! It’s such a depressing thought. I need a hug.”
*hug*
minorkeys@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Only for those who spend time engaged with existential topics rather than shopping though.
praxis_jack@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yes.
EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 2 days ago
I love these sorts of conversations.
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 days ago
Alright: for how much money would you eat a teaspoon of shit?
orize@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
I would eat shit for a down payment of the house I would want and manage to pay back with interest.
doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 day ago
My speech is deep. My beard is neck.
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 2 days ago
My partner and I both understand that free will doesn’t exist but it’s better for everyone if we pretend it does. And yes, a lot of our conversations are a bit like that.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 days ago
Free will is the choice. Just because “particles have rules, you’re made of particles” doesn’t mean you didn’t have a choice. It’s just that the thing we’ve been calling “free will” is a little different than we thought.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Too bad you don’t have the free will to change that ;-)
0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
I know that free will doesn’t exist and I wouldn’t choose to have it any other way
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Too bad. I chose for free will to exist, and I’m happy with my decision.
sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Small talk != big talk
Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
I would even say: Big talk > small talk
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 2 days ago
Why the fuck does everyone want to be in sustained meaningful relationships?
loonsun@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Because relatedness is a fundamental psychological need and sustained meaningful relationships are the best way to achieve that
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Can get that from a chat at the bar. Sustained meaningful relationships are the best way to lead to depression and severe physiological trauma. Fuck that shit.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Because they’re wonderful! And because you love someone.
Yeah, they can also go horribly wrong. I think that’s true of just about everything good - the more good it is, the worse it hurts when it goes wrong. But get it right, and it’s amazing.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 1 day ago
Yes.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 days ago
Pretty much yeah.
curiousaur@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Well do you?
the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 2 days ago
There is nothing wrong with silence, also my partner and I always have something to talk about that isn’t small talk. We have been together for 22 yrs. We have a lifetimes worth of shared experiences to converse about.
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I think everyone needs to recalibrate what ‘small talk’ is.
Some people are acting so opposed to small talk, as if it requires writing an essay on why you love a list of pop culture influencers and reality stars.
saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 2 days ago
Hey baby I brought home some dinner-
“Husband. Thy presence brings thoughts of philosophical questions.”
Alright. I’m just gonna eat this burrito though.spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Alright. I’m just gonna eat this burrito though.
But is that becsuse you are choosing to, or because of destiny?
Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
It’s because the burrito is getting cold.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
Well see life itself is a burrito. If you don’t make sure you have cheese and sour cream, well seasoned proteins, beans the way you like, delicious rice, maybe a bit of salsa and always hot sauce it just isn’t fulfilled.
Some people are happy with spicier sarcasm in their lives, others more mild. But if you don’t have a good foundation to wrap it all up in it’ll fall to pieces.
It’s not deep, it’s just a burrito
exasperation@lemm.ee 2 days ago
I’m just gonna eat this burrito though.
But pray tell doth the burrito quality as a sandwich
LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Hi honey did you see today’s shitposts memes?
plyth@feddit.org 2 days ago
The couples that argue all the time, they hate smalltalk. Just tell him to bring out the trash.
SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 1 day ago
No small talk only big talk
barsoap@lemm.ee 2 days ago
To a (modern) compatibilist, free will is the capacity to respond to the same stimulus with different reactions, i.e. it’s equivalent to the cybernetic concept of degrees of freedom. As such, answer:
“You can poke a ball-point pen and it’s going to do the same thing, over and over again: Extend and retract the lead. It is predictable because its internal complexity is below the threshold of chaos.” Then proceed to poke them in the arm to see how many reactions they have to that. Mentally prepare for a tickle fight.
yesman@lemmy.world 2 days ago
So this person thinks they can choose small talk? curious.
Sabata11792@ani.social 2 days ago
Bold of you to assume I can form and maintain a relationship.
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Kinda just hoping they love me for who I am and not some forced version of myself that makes me feel like a complete ass.
terminhell@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Id rather discuss that than what someone did last weekend tbh.
Donkter@lemmy.world 2 days ago
That’s the point of this post. That’s fun for me too. But if you’re living with someone, you’ve found out what their opinion on free will and almost every other deep conversation you could have with them in the first few years. How will it look 15 years later? Either you rehash the same conversation about free will multiple times a day or you wander around the same house in abject silence for months until one of you can think of a good continuation of that 20 year long “what is the meaning of life?” conversation you’ve been having. Instead just learn to small talk, life is long and it’s nice to have the affirmation that a loved one still pays attention to and cares about your day to day.
shikitohno@lemm.ee 2 days ago
This seems more like extroverts’ misconceptions of how introverts are, rather than an actual issue to me. I don’t tend to seek out relationships with highly extroverted people who can’t stand the idea of a moment where nobody is saying something, regardless of how inane that thing happens to be. At present, my companion and I have known each other for pushing 15 years, and we’re just comfortable being quiet around each other, unless one of us actually has something to say. If one of us actually has something they want to communicate about their day, or some other typical topic for small talk, we’re more than capable of talking each others’ ears off, we just don’t feel any need to run through conversations like:
“How was your day?”
“Good, yours?”
“Also acceptable.”
on a regular basis, unless we actually have something we wanted to discuss.
It’s also not as though we don’t have any hobbies or interests. We’ve got plenty of shared ones, and enjoy discussing them and planning out future activities, we just tend to do it either solo or together, but without involving large groups. Even for those we don’t share, we enjoy discussing them with each other to a certain extent.
There’s a huge difference between disliking pointless, socially expected chatter to fill dead air, and having some sort of social anxiety that leaves you unable to sustain regular conversations with others in your life. People who are not introverted just seem to assume that we either wish we could do it, but have some sort of condition that prevents us from being able to do so without it causing us problems, or that we just never learned how to do it properly, and would enjoy it for some reason if they just kept trying to get us to do it more and practice. I’m sure there are people that would apply to, but it’s not universal, and many of us would just like to be left in peace, unless you actually have something to say. Sometimes, we even meet others like ourselves, and enjoy our peace together, without the pointless talk that we both know neither is really interested in.
waspentalive@lemmy.world 2 days ago
“What do you want for dinners next week?” while planning the groceries list is not small talk. What shall we do this weekend. Its not “what is the meaning of life” but it is important still the same. What Kitty just did is also important because we both care about Kitty’s well being. There is lots to talk about that is not deep philosophical stuff, but still important.
lunarul@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I met my wife when we were 16-17. We are in our 40s now. It’s reasonable to expect that our opinions on such subjects have changed since then.
But there are plenty of subjects to talk about. How is the current environment in the US going to impact our kids’ lives going forward? Even if we know each other’s general perspectives on life, the universe, and everything, that doesn’t mean we can also predict opinions on complex scenarios and situations.