Stuff marshmallows up your butt.
If I wanted to, hypothetically, guarentee that I shit my pants 2 to 6 hours from now, how should I do it?
Submitted 11 months ago by PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com to [deleted]
Comments
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 months ago
spare_muppets@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
I can’t stop laughing from thinking about someone stuffing marshmallows up their ass.
Scubus@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
<insert mark as NSFW train copypasta>
over_clox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You’ve tried it too? I got to 31, then farted…
My girlfriend wasn’t impressed.
wabafee@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Is this speaking from experience?
MrNesser@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I kinda want to try this to see if it’s true but also ewww
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 11 months ago
nobody:
klysma kinkers: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This, plus your username backwards, makes me think this is the voice of experience.
Cosmocrat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 months ago
A banana or 3 is more ergonomic and has the same effect.
olutukko@lemmy.world 11 months ago
this is true. don’t ask how I know
scytale@lemm.ee 11 months ago
Eat a bag of sugar-free gummy bears or a half gallon of sugar-free ice cream. Another option as one other comment mentioned are those unregulated asian slimming teas that have questionable ingredients. The safest and most practical solution is a laxative used for colonoscopy prep.
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sugar free gummy bears will make you shit your pants in 2 hours. And in 3 hours. And in 4 hours. Etc.
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 11 months ago
RemindMe! 6 hours “reply to this thread”
NightAuthor@lemmy.world 11 months ago
You asked for a reminder to: reply to this thread
TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Thanks. The answer is mineral oil.
AtariDump@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I hope that stupid bot doesn’t exist here
Glifted@lemmy.world 11 months ago
There’s this stuff they give you before a colonoscopy. I don’t know what it’s called but it will get the job done
VaultBoyNewVegas@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Movieprep or kleenprep. I’ve had both and one definitely worked for me and the other only kicked in the morning off my endoscopy.
papalonian@lemmy.world 11 months ago
There’s these which are prescription only, but you can also down a bottle of magnesium citrate as an OTC alternative.
Tikiporch@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sprite and magnesium citrate.
real_ted_yogurt@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This is the stuff to use, but I don’t think diluting will work like this. I recommend taking it, with a bit of sprite 30 minutes before showtime.
Stay hydrated!
hactar42@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I lost 7.5 lbs in one night due to that stuff. I went to the doctor because I kept having diarrhea. Turns out I was so constipated the only thing that could make its way out was liquid. I drank a bottle of that stuff and 45 minutes later…well…you know that one scene from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, that was me for like an hour and half straight.
LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hopefully the shortage isn’t still going on. There was a huge shortage a couple years ago and I couldn’t get it anywhere. Had to resort to an enema to prep for my surgery.
Tikiporch@lemmy.world 11 months ago
My local Walmart has it for $1.47 in grape, cherry, and lemon. Looks like Walgreens has it too!
Usernamealreadyinuse@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Ok so i think it is cool everybody answers the question…
But why PenisWenisGenius? Why do you need this information?
PenisWenisGenius@lemmynsfw.com 11 months ago
Just asking for a friend 😇
Agosagror@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Which friend and why do they need it
Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 11 months ago
Based on the answer you got we need to consider that everyone answering has become complicit in, if not crimes, at the very least japery.
Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 11 months ago
Milk of magnesia. You can get it at basically any drug store and it will make you fucking BLAST.
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Hairbo sugar free gummy bears
Dkarma@lemmy.world 11 months ago
They said 2-6 hrs. Not 2-6 min
madmaurice@discuss.tchncs.de 11 months ago
Just wait 2 hours before eating.
Plum@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Salt water flush. You will shit continuously for two hours as your body tries to rid you of a dangerous amount of salt.
snooggums@midwest.social 11 months ago
Dueing this window, farts are lies!
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Am Crawfish, can confirm
FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 11 months ago
Just take laxatives 30 minutes prior to needing to shit your pants?
DocMcStuffin@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Not sure if they’re still available, but gummy bears made with Lycasin guarantee explosive results.
kindenough@kbin.social 11 months ago
You should ask Ted Nugent, he is an expert
Anti_Iridium@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I’m very glad that him being a pants sitting draft dodger, and later bragging about how great of a special forces guy he would have been is general knowledge.
kindenough@kbin.social 11 months ago
Heh, a worldwide known fact. I am Dutch but when I read 'shit + pants' the answer always be that crusty pants mf.
over_clox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Just relax homie, you got this. 💩
henfredemars@infosec.pub 11 months ago
Cleansing tea from the local Asian Mart.
Buckle up brother. Hope you don’t got plans later today.
Omgboom@lemmy.zip 11 months ago
Is there a taco bell near you?
answersplease77@lemmy.world 11 months ago
he said 2 hrs not 2 minutes
nifty@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Improperly cooked eggs or chicken can help
cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 11 months ago
Depends on where you live, that could literally kill you. Salmonella are no joke.
over_clox@lemmy.world 11 months ago
100% Salmonella ain’t no joke!
Very potentially deadly! I’ve had it once, got lucky and only went half crazy and bleeding a bit from the inside and out…
Atin@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Mainline dysentery infected blood
iAvicenna@lemmy.world 11 months ago
are you trying to get someone to break off with you?
Toes@ani.social 11 months ago
Lookup “colon cleansing”.
simplejack@lemmy.world 11 months ago
This is easy. Google “miralax colonoscopy prep solution”
Enjoy!
prowess2956@kbin.social 11 months ago
Who are you try to make shit themself while in / over international waters?
Aremel@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Magnesium citrate. Take it a few minutes before you actually need to.
nudnyekscentryk@szmer.info 11 months ago
Prunes or, more hardcore, sorbitol candy.
eezeebee@lemmy.ca 11 months ago
Eat a big bowl of oatmeal now, then have a coffee 2 minutes before showtime.
taiyang@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I initially misread the question as, if I was to shit my pants in 2 to 6 hours, how/where should I do it. Optimally, for maximum impact, probably on TV at a major event.
Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Eat a large bucket of KFC and try your hardest? I love chicken rolled in bread -> deepfried as much as the next sane earthican, but man does my digestive system hate it with a furious burning passie.
lemmefixdat4u@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Sandwich bag full of shit placed in your shorts 2-6 hours from now. Then sit down firmly.
Or talk to the homeless guy in Walmart. He seems to have this one down pat.
match@pawb.social 11 months ago
We found the villain to the no-poop-for-three-days story