[deleted]
Sending images of vaguely phallic objects as dick prosthetic will never stop being a bit funny.
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Submitted 1 day ago by canyoubringmesunrise@lemmy.world to [deleted]
Comments
Gladaed@feddit.org 1 day ago
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Oh, this? My tin can? My massive fucking flip-flop? My super stuffed baguette? My wibbly wobbly banana? My fucking fabric stretching wind flapping gravity defying helicopter rotor? You mean this super-duper ultra-hyper god-damn motherfucking sausage?
87Six@lemmy.zip 5 hours ago
Damn I thought the OG was from Telepurte
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 1 day ago
getFrog@piefed.social 1 day ago
God if more men had midriffs like that
AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Hey I’m sure plenty of us do, we just don’t wear the clothes to show it. If I wear a crop top women think I’m gay and that’s unfortunately counterproductive
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Just wear a hot pink crop top with “I’m Straight” bedazzled across the front
nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
Can someone post some artistic male nudes, for, umm… some inspiration?
LurkingLuddite@piefed.social 1 day ago
What if my dick is still in a can?
gurty@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Check the expiration date, but you should be okay.
NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
Maybe heating the metal of the can will cause it to expand and release the cylinder?
toynbee@piefed.social 1 day ago
A long time ago, back on reddit, someone posted a link to a site that was something like ratemydickpic.com. That doesn’t load but a cursory DDG search brings up some similar sites.
On that site, people would post their dick pics, as you might guess. The owner of the site would review not the dicks, but the pics. Lighting, framing, effort, etc. (I don’t know much about photography.) I remember specifically that several of the commenters (and I, though I was mostly a lurker) observed their approval of the fact that the phalluses didn’t matter, it was just the setup of the pic. In fact, several of the pictures were of non-external-genital-havers (I’m genuinely trying to be inclusive, so I apologize if that’s offensive) using various forms of prosthetics, but that didn’t factor into the reviews at all.
I’ve never been the type to send those kinds of photos. Back when Snapchat was big for dirty pictures, my wife and I decided to try it out. We installed it, sent each other one naughty photo each, and uninstalled it. (Not quite in such short order … But basically.) However, were I to do so, I would do so consensually and probably have appreciated the lesions from a site like the above.
Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 day ago
Is it even possible for common man to take artistic nudes of themselves? Or is it just so far out the realms of average guys that it might as well be impossible?
TeddE@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yes. It is very possible for average dudes to look incredible naked, even to traditional beauty standards. Plenty of gay photographers take on this challenge and have portfolios filled with such shots (presumably in part for the challenge and in part for the subject matter).
Technically this is a tangent to the question you asked, save for the case where they do nude self-portraits. Nonetheless, I have been to a few homes where all the walls filled with their own photos of basically average gay bears in posing in very artistic ways that I’d assume were professional models, if not for the fact that I could identify subjects to their local ‘online dating’ profiles. (And to be clear, while some photos definitely have ‘I’m here to fuck’ energy, many more were going for tender vibes and artistic poses).
Guys with [good, interesting] tattoos appear to make great photography subjects - I suspect that it gives the artist something to compose the rest of the shot around. Unless you’re a modern prude, tattoos don’t carry the stigma they used to, they’re [often] artistic, and broadly well-fitted to the male beauty aesthetic.
Wish I could give you names and such, but in my defense I generally wasn’t visiting to see the wall art.
fonix232@fedia.io 1 day ago
An artistic nude doesn't need a "perfect" model. In fact what you're describing is the distorted expectations set by the media towards men. Most women are NOT into that.
Also, neither dad bod nor "bear mode" require "shit tons of muscle mass just with a slight faded abs".
SolarMonkey@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
I think what a lot of people don’t realize is just how many shots are needed to get that one good one. Especially if doing it yourself.
I sent a really classy-looking black and white (because it evened out my skin and made the lace look extra nice) once, and it took me about 40 tries to get one I liked enough to send it. It took awkward positions, my arm got tired af, and if you’d been there in person it looked dumb as hell. Arms in weird places to hide them, legs bent funny, you get the idea. I had to try numerous poses to see what worked and didn’t, and it took about 45 minutes.
I’m by no means a photographer, I’m by no means a model, I’m not even a sexually-inclined person, but I am stubborn and persistent, and I’m introspective enough to know that if I think it looks nice and classy, most others will too.
I think that’s why women tend to have artistic photos and men tend to look like the swamp thing. Dude nudes tend to be the first pic they take, quality be damned. And often in dirty mirrors (do guys not know how to hold a phone to take a selfie without a mirror?).
Gladaed@feddit.org 1 day ago
A lot of female nudes are also boring. It’s just that men tend to wander in the disgusting camp.
It surely helps that a lot of nudes of woman online tend to be made for profit. This warps the perception of reality.
Looking at gone wild it’s pretty equal.
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m a middle-aged man who doesn’t exercise whatsoever and drinks heavily
I post a variety of stuff, from unhinged performance art to fairly elegant artistic nudes
They’re all well-received
They take effort, but I guarantee that the things that you think make a good photo aren’t what most women are looking for
CultLeader4Hire@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yes! The meme is literal! Get some eye candy on gonewild going if we want the grow the community having a lot of good OC nudes is what we need, do it for Lemmy
For real though the meme is real, that’s a very sexy pic 🥵
endless_nameless@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yes it is possible, and quite fun. I think the main thing with artful nudes is decentering the genitals and kind of focusing more on the whole body. It doesn’t need to erect, fully exposed, and center of the frame. I’ve got a picture of me posing sort of wrapped around a rifle, flaccid dick half covered by the rifle. I by no means have an impressive body, I’m very skinny and not very tall, but this image fucking KILLS whenever I share it. The image has a sort of juxtiposition between the shy/coy body language and the rifle being a symbol of strength/power. You feel me?
edwardbear@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Under 10% is, yes, mostly unachievable for most people. But I think you might underestimate exactly what it means to be under 10%. You are basically a dried slug under 10%. For almost any body type, around 18%-20% body fat makes you universally sexy, especially if you put 2 hours in the gym a week, or you are generally outgoing/sporty.
hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
Michelangelo’s David ?
nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
He has a nice physique and amazing hair. I have neither.
FistingEnthusiast@lemmy.world 1 day ago
UxyIVrljPeRl@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Wellthats assuming i have a midriff… and not a hairy ass beer belly :/
boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
The good news is that there are women out there who like hairy beer bellies more than fit and shaved guys.
The bad news is that you still can’t take the type of dick pic in the OP because it’ll look fugly
The other good news is you can bypass this issue by not sending dick pics
Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Plus, according to one source, while you may call it a beer belly, some may call it a dad bod, and some may call it a Gladiator physique.
UxyIVrljPeRl@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The post is about taking pics not sending, so no good news here :D
But always remember to leave the head out of Frame.
Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah, but women are fighting to gaze upon The Dong. I can’t give them a bad picture
trashboypro@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Well, if my belly was that small and my dick was that big, I would pose like this too. Instead, I don’t even take photos of my face.
Paddzr@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Neither did they… it’s about angle. Women find the entire body hot, just like men… go figure. While some might be fine with literally nothing but pussy, pictures of entire body got to be way more appealing. Same goes for cock. There are many cocks out there, nothing unique.
that’s the point they’re making.
jballs@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
There’s probably some sociology at play here. If you ask a guy and a girl to look at their own finger nails, they usually do it differently.
Guys tend to bend their fingers with their palm facing towards them - since their main concern is checking if there’s any diet under their nails.
Girls tend to straighten their fingers and point their palm away from them - since their main concern is how their nails looks to others.
So yeah… when guys are taking dick pics, they need to override that tendency and be more mindful of other people’s perspectives.
imadethis@fedinsfw.app 16 hours ago
Oh shit, I literally did one hand one way, and the other the other way at the same time to look at both! What does that even mean?!!?
fonix232@fedia.io 6 hours ago
Are you by any chance a bisexual millennial with ADHD/Autism/both?
jballs@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
I think that means you’ve got a lazy eye.
MJKee9@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I would expect no lesser amount of socio/psychoanalysis of dick pic perspectives from a user named jballs!
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
Solid advice so far, but how do I keep the local politicians from tracing it and putting me on a registry?
massacre@lemmy.world 23 hours ago
That’s the fun part!
Bongles@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
This was a talking point in a movie a long time ago. I don’t remember anything else about it, since i was young, but there was a stereotypical tough guy, but when a girl asked him to look at his nails he looked the way a girl might, and i guess it proved he’s secretly a big softie? I don’t know.
Deebster@infosec.pub 19 hours ago
No-one’s commented on the skeleton watching and touching themself in the original picture. Although, I guess skeletons don’t really have anything to touch down there.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 14 hours ago
Folks these days will never know the luxury of a digital camera.
I once scanned my dick on a flat bed scanner.
Schadrach@lemmy.sdf.org 1 hour ago
At least those can be easily moved. Imagine having to fuck the copier just to get a dick pic!
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 hours ago
In case any one is … particularly thirsty… for some glistening cans…
🧊 Unnecessarily High Quality Cans!
🧃 All colours, sizes, tastes, and accessories!
🥤 Tasty and tasteful canned drink erotica!
💼 Corporate drama! Family tragedy!
📸 Greed! Love! Passion! Photography!
✋ One Handed Gameplay available!
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 hours ago
Oh that’s amazing hahaha. I downloaded it without reading more than your description, then played it with my partner without saying anything about it. About 2/3s of the way through the cans… top score so far is a B.
I wonder what it was that made me tag you with a green tag that says “I like this person”…?
Apytele@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
RateMyDickPick was really good but tumblr killed it along with all the other nsfw.
rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m not usually one to get jealous at these kinds of pics, but that original plastic-bottle person seems to have a freaking awesome room.
anon_8675309@lemmy.world 1 day ago
So short and fat?
Zier@fedia.io 1 day ago
Damnnn, that's a monster!!
fonix232@fedia.io 1 day ago
A pink monster at that!
Zier@fedia.io 8 hours ago
"Girthy Pink Monster" must be my new album title.
yermaw@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
If you smaller than a MONSTER MEGA GULP 750 swipe left manlet
ashestoashes@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
mark nsfw please
mrmisses@lemmy.world 1 day ago
felixwhynot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Helpful
Jax@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
I gotta drop an unpoplar opinion. I think that if anyone believes that a selfie is for them and not the person who took it — they fundamentally do not understand selfies.
Let me ask it this way - what kind of person takes a dick pick? What kind of person takes selfies in the first place?
In my experience it is usually people with low self esteem or people with way way way too much self esteem. The answer for both of these people is touch grass and take less selfies. Look at the sky and clouds some more. Be present as opposed to… whatever the fuck is making you obsessed with how you look.
Impound4017@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Hard disagree. In all the healthier relationships I’ve been in, I want selfies of them (especially while they’re doing something fun), simply because I love them and want to see them enjoy themselves. Ideally, you’d also find your partner pleasant to look at.
As for the dick pics: have you never sexted before?
Your view is probably true of anyone who is sending dick pics unprompted, but there are plenty of scenarios where the pictures are being taken expressly for someone else, because both parties have already established mutual interest. I never take selfies unprompted, and I wouldn’t take a dick pic for no reason, but I’ve taken plenty of both to exchange with partners in the past when we couldn’t be together at the time.
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
No 🥹
Jax@sh.itjust.works 3 hours ago
You’re free to do so, I did state it was an unpopular opinion.