The original Lemmy shitpost

Comments

• xerxos@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Oh, I think this is a post of a home-shitter ( someone who only shits at home, not at someone else’s home, not in public toilets and definitively not in nature ) who tries to go on a multi-day hike. Rather a than getting over his mental block, he tries to prep his body to not shit for 3 days.

  Poor soul.

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  • FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I used to be a home shitter, i used to even be a home pisser at school age, but then i started drinking a healthy amount of water.

    I am so so glad i’ve gotten over the mental block.

    Image

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    • FishFace@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      At the school I went to if you shat at school someone would bang on the cubicle door and laugh at you. Caused some definite problems for me

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  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    have had IBS my whole life. hearing people say this is like hearing people say they only breathe at home. they just. hold their breath. until they get back.

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    • mediOchre@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      i’m at the complete opposite end of the brown spectrum. i poop on average once a week, at most twice a week, thrice if i ate something bad. i have a fecalysis scheduled for today and so far it’s been 3 hours of me unsuccesfully forcing my bowels to move lol

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  • daggermoon@piefed.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Or someone engaging in three days of hardcore anal.

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    • einfach_orangensaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      uh then thats the wrong plan for sure, for that its more about eating the right things at the right times, if done right that can make like 8h of each day usable without going hungry

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  • MintyFresh@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I used to be a home shitter. Then I took a job doing over the road trucking. Now I don’t care. As long as it looks like I won’t catch anything putting cheeks to seat I’ll go for it.

    Hell, sometimes I’ll stop and pinch one off on my way home just so I won’t stink out my own bathroom. Giant gaps in the stall where people can look? Fine, enjoy the show. I would and have made eye contact.

    Free your poops!

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  • phx@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    3 days seems fairly doable. I know after my stomach has been upset and I’ve taken Immodium or an equivalent it can be several days before the seal breaks again

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    • slappyfuck@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oh yes. You can take a safe amount of Imodium and not wind up going for 3 days. I’m very sensitive to it, so without an upset stomach, 4mg might clog me for 3-4.

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  • dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    when I was a child and was sent to summer camp, I refused to use the showers because they were communal

    I probably would have tried to not use toilets too for similar reasons, but I had already had to learn to use public toilets because of public school

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    • JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Public toilets and communal showers are kind of different tho

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• Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Are fursuits a pain in the ass to get out of or something?

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  • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Some of them have ass flaps.

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    • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Which are exclusively for the convenience of using a restroom when necessary and absolutely no other reason. None.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      yeah but then there won’t be appropriate structural support for a dragon with a fat ass to have a tail you can swing around like a feather boa for 27 years they been doing it now.

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    • hanrahan@slrpnk.net ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      is that for easier outsies or insies ?

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  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    yes

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “You’re full of shit, buddy.”

  “Yes, but that’s not relevant to the discussion.”

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• tixnou@feddit.cl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Is it really a shitpost if it’s about not shitting?

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  • Sunflier@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Its a shitty shit-post. No. That wouldn’t work, because its not a post on the quality of the shit post. A shit-shit post? A shit^2^ post?

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• JackbyDev@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I was there, Gandalf, 3 years ago. When the bowels of man failed.

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  • Alberat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Lembas bread, one bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man while allowing him to go through multiple security checkpoints without pooping.

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• SlurpingPus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  How is the instance of that community located on web.archive.org?

  Anyway, the answer the OOP was looking for is sugar.

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  • kif@lemmy.nz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Not certain, but I’m guessing it’s something to do with how archive.org archives. I’d say it probably captured some JavaScript which uses window.location.host, which would resolve to the original (say lemmy.nz) on the original page but web.archive.org on the snapshot.

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    • SlurpingPus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You seem to be at least partially correct about JS being involved: the webpage source as downloaded from archive.org has a shitton of data in JS structures, while the actual final HTML of that element is nowhere to be found. Meaning the DOM is assembled from the JS data on the fly. Now, the page url, as I predicted, doesn’t seem to figure in this, because the data itself contains numerous instances of ‘web.archive.org’ in it. I’m guessing that Archive’s algorithm replaced the site domain to be prefixed with Archive’s domain and went a bit overboard about it, which seems then to have confused Lemmy’s JS into using the web.archive.org domain as the instance domain.

      For better or worse, I don’t use stimulants harder than tea, and amn’t so young anymore as to reverse-engineer it further.

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    • SlurpingPus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That’s very doubtful, seeing as since the post might belong to any of the multitude of instances, the api must send the instance name in the response to the client. The client’s host doesn’t figure in that. Additionally, the screenshot looks like the default UI, whatever it’s called (at least default for lemmy.world), and it doesn’t show the instance domain for communities on the same instance (at least doesn’t show currently).

      But I’ll look into the JS hypothesis later. Weird shit is afoot there.

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  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Going to be hell on your teeth.

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    • SlurpingPus@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      In three days? Pffft.

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• TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Some say they’re still not pooping to this very day…

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• Korne127@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I remember it

  I still wanna know the reason…

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  • porn_was_never_the_real_issue@fedinsfw.app ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pooping on toilet that wasn’t my own was a huuuuuuuuuuge problem until I ended up in the military… the first two weeks sucked but then you kinda just surrender and let the poooop flow. Nowadays it’s more of a convenience to poop on my own porslin throne.

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    • Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I guess most people have that experience in kindergarten lol you never pooped in school ever??

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  • Broadfern@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think someone speculated that it aligned with a religious pilgrimage trip that had a lot of similarities.

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    • morrowind@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Hajj? That was my guess too. The timing lines up

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    • emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But why do they only need to hold it for 3 days, not the whole 5?

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  • DmMacniel@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    this was around the time when one of Pootins general marched from the front against him.

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• svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Is this Lemmy’s “the cylinder must remain unharmed”?

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• Pacattack57@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’ve done this before. I was on a beach in Mexico back in the day for 3 days. Slept on the beach in a hammock. The nearest bathroom was about 30 minutes because it was a secluded beach. There was an outhouse you could shit in and I kid you not it looked like the poop scene from slumdog millionaire. I decided I would not shit till I left.

  Honestly I ate normal food and it was fine so I think crippling anxiety is enough to make this possible.

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  • GianBarGian@feddit.it ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You realize you could shit I the sea, right?

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• RamRabbit@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

  Is it spiders? I bet it is toilet spiders.

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• monsterpiece42@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  He’s a soldier going to the field for training. I’d bet my next check on it.

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  • Soupbreaker@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    With air conditioned tents? Not really a field situation.

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    • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Drash tents are conditioned. If he’s in a TOC or similar they need AC for the computers.

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• Bluescluestoothpaste@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Yeah idk i feel like not eating and drinking a juice once every few hours is the obvious answer but idk shit about nutrition tbh

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• Fmstrat@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Are there any instances out there that archive deletes? If it was deleted after I shut mine down, I might have the comments.

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• Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  simple, take imodium.

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• JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I feel like this person needs a portable bidet more than food advice.

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  • RamSwamson@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Sounds like a possibility to me. Maybe they have hemorrhoids and using TP for three days will tear that brown starfish to shreds. Not that I would know anything aboot that.

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• Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Someone ordered a Cleveland Steamer.

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• Tolc@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  literal SHITpost

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• UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere

  Ah, damn. That was my bet.

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  • Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I was thinking of a music festival.

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• Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I remember this post bro!! Good times

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• HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  astronaut food designed for low residue

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• Zkuld@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  just don’t eat for one day before and during?

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