anal + doggy = ultimate loophole🫶

Comments

• Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It’s only sex before marriage if you get married.

  Just never get married, problem solved

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  • Fedizen@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Or get married to jesus and then you’ve been married. Adultery is only a sin in the old testament along with eating pork.

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• ignotum@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Guess I’m going to heaven 😎

  Not because of this post, but because no sex

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  • joyjoy@lemmy.zip ⁨10⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Me too, but because I’m a bitch. 

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  • aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I assume you aren’t married, so you can’t rule out the possibility just yet.

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• dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Since “all dogs go to heaven” isn’t mentioned in the bible but is generally accepted christian doctrine, it’s technically dogma, which is way funnier.

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• noxypaws@pawb.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  i do knot see a problem with this logic

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• Abbysimons@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  The internet really has a talent for turning wordplay into “logic” like this. Not exactly theology, but definitely creative humor.

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• TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The Bible is bullshit, heaven doesn’t exist, God is an imaginary friend who is sadistic AF.

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• SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I dated a few Christian girls, and just let me say, they can be pretty freaky.

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• Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  All puppy girls go to heaven

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  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    :3

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• ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You can’t go to hell or heaven, because they don’t exist.

  That being said anal sex is still best sex.

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  • nezrock@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    🎶 Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 🎶

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    • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Needs to be updated for the 2022 Supreme Court decision…

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• DagwoodIII@piefed.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?list=RDj8ZF_R_j0OY

  Can’t believe I’m the one posting the video.

  Lazy so-and-sos.

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  • kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It’s what I thought of immediately.

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  • SPRUNT@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Seriously! I thought I was going to have to link it.

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    • DagwoodIII@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      https://youtu.be/aV2DLkDPwM8?t=45

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• zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  The torture and brimstone is more a thing to keep the boring people out of the eternal orgy in hell.

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• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I mean, I’ve known a considerable number of Christian women who have argued that if you just take it up the ass, you’re still a virgin, so it’s just anal untill marriage, and thus you’re a virgin when you walk down the isle, so its all good.

  90s/00s purity culture logic.

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  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Ah. The classic he said, she heard: “You were going to heaven until you took a cock in your ass”

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      … Basically yes.

      … … you might say the entire situation was quite the cock-up.

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• Randelung@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  This tracks about as much as soaking/jump humping or “sabbath mode”, so fucken go for it.

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  • criss_cross@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Soaking is the craziest loophole I’ve ever heard of. I still refuse to believe it’s real.

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    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What i love about the jump-humping thing is I’ve heard it involves a third party to move the bed for you, making it just the weirdest threesome.

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• Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It’s the
  ✨Poop hole loophole✨

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• wuffah@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Jokes on you, I’m already in heaven when I fuck my unmarried dog.

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  • Bazell@lemmy.zip ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Oh my gosh…

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  • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Username…checks, uh, out?

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• gegil@sopuli.xyz ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  What if sex is gay, and gay marriage is not legal in this country, does it count as sin?

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• Obnomus@lemmy.ml ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Lol

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• Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Haha, loop-hole, get’m?

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