[deleted]
All puppy girls go to heaven
[deleted]
Submitted 2 months ago by violet08@lemmy.today to [deleted]
Comments
Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 months ago
:3
robocall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What’s a puppy girl?
Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Its a gender affirming phenomena where (mainly) trans girls identify as puppy girls. I’m just a furry
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You can’t go to hell or heaven, because they don’t exist.
That being said anal sex is still best sex.
nezrock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
🎶 Fuck me in the ass 'cause I love Jesus 🎶
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Needs to be updated for the 2022 Supreme Court decision…
Ek-Hou-Van-Braai@piefed.social 2 months ago
It’s only sex before marriage if you get married.
Just never get married, problem solved
Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Or get married to jesus and then you’ve been married. Adultery is only a sin in the old testament along with eating pork.
jeffep@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Or wait until some other people get married on your behalf
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You’re allowed to have sex before marriage if your fellow Jehova’s Witnesses jump up and down on the bed and your genitals accidentally fit together.
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Jehova’s Witnesses
thought this was mormons…?
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Same difference, innit?
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 2 months ago
What about a friendly prostate exam among friends?
forwhomthecattolls@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
all clear, bible never said you can’t finger blast the homies a little
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Settle down Kurp
OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Just soaking it all in
Bakkoda@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You uh got any links?
Randelung@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This tracks about as much as soaking/jump humping or “sabbath mode”, so fucken go for it.
criss_cross@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Soaking is the craziest loophole I’ve ever heard of. I still refuse to believe it’s real.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What i love about the jump-humping thing is I’ve heard it involves a third party to move the bed for you, making it just the weirdest threesome.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I mean, I’ve known a considerable number of Christian women who have argued that if you just take it up the ass, you’re still a virgin, so it’s just anal untill marriage, and thus you’re a virgin when you walk down the isle, so its all good.
90s/00s purity culture logic.
peopleproblems@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Ah. The classic he said, she heard: “You were going to heaven until you took a cock in your ass”
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
… Basically yes.
… … you might say the entire situation was quite the cock-up.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Since “all dogs go to heaven” isn’t mentioned in the bible but is generally accepted christian doctrine, it’s technically dogma, which is way funnier.
nao@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
all dogma go to heaven?
zxqwas@lemmy.world 2 months ago
The torture and brimstone is more a thing to keep the boring people out of the eternal orgy in hell.
wuffah@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Jokes on you, I’m already in heaven when I fuck my unmarried dog.
Bazell@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Oh my gosh…
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Username…checks, uh, out?
robocall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Who upvoted this?
DagwoodIII@piefed.social 2 months ago
https://youtu.be/j8ZF_R_j0OY?list=RDj8ZF_R_j0OY
Can’t believe I’m the one posting the video.
Lazy so-and-sos.
kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
It’s what I thought of immediately.
SPRUNT@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Seriously! I thought I was going to have to link it.
DagwoodIII@piefed.social 2 months ago
Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 2 months ago
It’s the
✨Poop hole loophole✨robocall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
If the gang calls me a dog before they rail me in every position they want, does that count too?
noxypaws@pawb.social 2 months ago
i do knot see a problem with this logic
gegil@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
What if sex is gay, and gay marriage is not legal in this country, does it count as sin?
spicehoarder@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
So that’s why they call it an analogy
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I dated a few Christian girls, and just let me say, they can be pretty freaky.
Obnomus@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Lol
Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 months ago
Haha, loop-hole, get’m?
Abbysimons@lemmy.world 2 months ago
The internet really has a talent for turning wordplay into “logic” like this. Not exactly theology, but definitely creative humor.
xabit24368@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
it’s a joke
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
The Bible is bullshit, heaven doesn’t exist, God is an imaginary friend who is sadistic AF.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Wow. Thank you for providing us with this mindblowing breakthrough, I’m sure that every Christian will immediately renounce their faith when they stumble into this comment.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Religion shouldn’t get attention in any way imo. Same goes for dumb idiots like Andrew Tate. Negative attention is still attention. We all know it’s stupid contradicting stuff which makes no sense.
robocall@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This is breaking news
ignotum@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Guess I’m going to heaven 😎
Not because of this post, but because no sex
aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I assume you aren’t married, so you can’t rule out the possibility just yet.
joyjoy@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Me too, but because I’m a bitch.