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⁨305⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨not_IO@lemmy.blahaj.zone⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://files.ebiverse.social/i/webpublic-5d5a88ce-d75d-4219-a270-65750a5c7c3b.webp

credit ebiverse.social/notes/aj0jqzdnea

source

Comments

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  • Thorry@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Why didn’t Jesus ask the giant eagle to take the ring to Mordor?

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “We ARE Mordor, bald eagle!” - 'Murican Jesus

      source
  • guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I saw what happened to Kirk and watched it a few times. 10/10 would recommend.

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    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      New rapper name dropped that day. “Big squirt”.

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  • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If Jesus came to America he wouldbe shot within two seconds of opening his mouth.

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    • Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And brown.

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      • Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I’d love to know what would happen if Jesus were way darker and older than expected.

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  • Redacted@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    For not stopping the far right guy that killed him?

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    • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      For releasing the mutant giant eagle.

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    • NotSteve_@piefed.ca ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Have you guys also noticed that we’ve barely heard anything about Kirk’s shooter compared to Luigi? I wonder if it’s because Kirk’s shooter isn’t quite as useful to them for painting the left as “violent criminals”

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      • Redacted@lemmy.zip ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The media does NOT want to address the groypers

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    • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Hey! We don’t do facts here!

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    • SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No, for pushing the COVID-19 vaccine. As I keep telling people, it was the “plandemic” that made him get the jab which is what made his neck just do that. The liberals pinned it on a nice boy from a MAGA family to protect Big Pharma.

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      • Redacted@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Its how the left got kennedy too

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  • skisnow@lemmy.ca ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A significant part of Jesus’ teachings is “don’t claim to speak on behalf of God”. Whoever made this meme is a blasphemer.

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  • grainOfSalt@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If I used that cesspool of a website, I would reply with a clip of [youtu.be/4ega5Rcct2s](Gandhi II from UHF)

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    • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      He gunna sleep with some children and support the caste system too?(Loved uhf and this was funny, but it’s worth noting ghandi had some bad takes)

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  • umbraroze@slrpnk.net ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I was about to ask “I’m mildly concerned, are American Evangelicals okay?” but then I remembered there has never been a time when they have been okay, so I don’t know why am I even asking.

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  • OldChicoAle@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Jesus let all this Epstein stuff happened. When a girl was crying and being raped, where was Jesus? When one was being eaten, where was god?

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    • OptimusPrimeDownfall@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Honestly, the part where Alucard and God talk in Helling: Ultimate Abridged is one of the main things that pointed me down the path to question all religion.

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    • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      They were goyim so they don’t count.

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    • SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Helping some self righteous NFL player make a touchdown, for His glory.

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    • thermal_shock@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Jesus is a vile character. He watches pedophiles, murderers and rapists and does nothing, just watches.

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  • Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    if there’s a bald eagle this must have been recorded on a trash heap

    (yeah, yeah, i know it’s ai. chill, will ya?)

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  • Shyze3D@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Jesus prefers watching and doing nothing about anything

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    • DmMacniel@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Jesus is the ultimate cuck.

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      • hateisreality@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Jesus Cucking Christ

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  • aesthelete@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What even are these platforms? Why would anyone use them?

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If God wanted Kirk to be alive, he wouldn’t have allowed him to become a blood fountain.

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  • Rakonat@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Wasn’t the kid who shot him a groyper from a maga family? Not sure what liberals had to do with alt right radicalizing kids and losing control of a culture war they started degrading to a political civil war.

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      you’re talking about reality, which is completely irrelevant to these people.

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    • spacesatan@leminal.space ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Wasn’t the kid who shot him a groyper from a maga family?

      No

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    • Soulg@ani.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      See you’re actually caring about facts and truth.

      What matters to these people is that Kirk was conservative, therefore by default anything bad that happened to him was the fault of the evil Democrats. No further questions necessary.

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  • SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What the actual fuck.

    Bullshit like this, and the fact that there are soamy who believe it, is the reason I have zero hope left for the United States.

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  • mech@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    meanwhile on Facebook:
    Image

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    • django@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Anarchism is slavery? What?

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      • arschflugkoerper@feddit.org ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        War is peace.

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    • TheFriendlyDickhead@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Good to know that the nazis werent fascists. You never stop mearning

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      • Jimbabwe@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        If you had a penny for every magatard that actually knew what fascism was you wouldn’t have enough to buy lunch

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      • Magnum@infosec.pub ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        They where just really patriotic \s

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    • blackris@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ah, “Nazism”, the slightly less right wing brother of fascism. 🫠

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  • hypeerror@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Press “F” to christfully.

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  • finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Why aren’t those people pointing their phones at the Son of God and his enormous bird?

    Why would Jesus care about Captain Kirk? Is He a Star Trek fan?

    I doubt He’s furious at anyone. He’s too busy being a Whirling Dervish of Other Cheek-turning.

    Why would I comment a made up word to pray for Jesus, or Captain Kirk, or the enormous bird, or the stoned photo-takers? Show me where ‘christfully’ (note they couldn’t even give the guy’s name a capital ‘C’) is in the Bible.

    Also …

    How dare this heretic presume to speak for The Lord!!!

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    • Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Technically all words are made up

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  • BigBenis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Isn’t fury one of the seven deadly sins?

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    • Klear@quokk.au ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I think it’s “furry”

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      • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Greed, Wrath, Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Envy, and Sloth.

        Furries are only, like, 6 of those things. 🤷‍♂️

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    • SchwertImStein@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Wrath?

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  • daannii@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Why? For not doing it before the Republicans ?

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    • harmbugler@piefed.social ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      His dad did it all along.

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  • Mulligrubs@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Even the Holy Spirit makes an appearance, you know shit’s about to get real when the Magic Bird shows up.

    After this photo, Jesus pulled out a knife and immediately began collecting foreskins from screaming students, He hates those!

    Foreskins, not the students. He loves every one of them. That’s why they must burn in Hell forever

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  • Doomsider@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I have heard of supply-side Jesus, is this another new form of him? Fascist Jesus - He promoted hate and division and blaming acts on people who had nothing to do with it.

    All hail Fascist Jesus and don’t forget to subscribe to the Anti-Woke Jesus Network for only $19.99 a month to ensure your sole is ready to purge you fellow Americans.

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  • Formfiller@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    They spelled Israeli’s wrong

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  • hayvan@piefed.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Of course they use genSlop for their bullshit. They don’t have a gram of creativity, or value for human effort in them.

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  • es_eskaliert@feddit.org ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Can I get an AMEN!!

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  • Inucune@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hey man, nice shot.

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  • gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    CHRISTFULLY?!?! HAHAHAHAHA

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    • ICastFist@programming.dev ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The libruls are all christempty

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  • apftwb@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    No he’s not angry with the liberals for killing Charlie (because an far right kid did that), he is angry because they didn’t morn his death.

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  • Kkk2237pl@szmer.info ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sometimes I dont know if those posts are sarcastic or true…

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  • Magnum@infosec.pub ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    christfully

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  • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I might care, if he were real. Or like, y’know, alive.

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