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quick thinking

⁨300⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨fossilesque@mander.xyz⁩ to ⁨science_memes@mander.xyz⁩

https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/b28daf23-371b-42b2-9b43-d1aeb8f6113d.png

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  • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Can someone translate this into English for the ones who aren’t doctors or biologists?

    This sounds like someone was having a heart attack and they started playing with his butthole. I’d appreciate if someone could tell me that’s not the case.

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    • TomMasz@piefed.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You're pretty much correct. AF is a heart rhythm abnormality, and if it persists, like it seems to here, it renders the heart unable to pump blood. It appears he might have been undergoing a prostate exam when this happened, since that's the usual reason for a digital rectal exam. You'd have to assume the doctor knew they had this condition to begin with.

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      • Klear@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Digital here means “using fingers” rather than “not analog”, right?

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      • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        And “sinus rhythm” in this case would be… normal sinusoidal heart function, right?

        Incredible. Thanks for the translation.

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      • Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Nope. If I recall correctly all other interventions failed, so this was a hail Mary that happened to work

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      • Ephera@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Oh man, I thought “AF” meant “as fuck” like it usually does on the internet.

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      • Venator@lemmy.nz ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Why is heart rhythm abbreviated to AF and not HR or something?

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    • moobythegoldensock@infosec.pub ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The heart was going “kethumpathumpadump,” the doctor put a finger up the guy’s butt, and then his heart reset to a normal “lub dub, lub dub.”

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    • lonefighter@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not familiar with the paper this is from, but Atrial Fibrilation isn’t a heart attack (it can cause one, or a stroke). The human heart has 4 chambers, the left and right atria are on top and the left and right ventricles are on the bottom. In super layman’s terms, blood enters the heart from the lungs into the left atria and from the body into the right atria, passes through valves into the ventricles, and then is passed into the body (from the left ventricle) or the lungs (right ventricle). Normally the atria squeeze, there’s a slight pause to allow blood to enter the ventricles, then the ventricles squeeze. In A-fib, the atria just quiver, they don’t squeeze. It can be fairly benign and people can walk around for months without knowing they’re in A-fib because the blood will just drop into the ventricles and the ventricles do the work of pumping blood out into the lungs and the body. But the problem is that in A-fib some blood tends to hang out in the atria and it doesn’t completely empty, so eventually it can clot and now you have a huge clot hanging out inside your heart. If that clot decides to move it can go out into your body and end up in one of the coronary arteries (the arteries on the outside of your heart that supply your heart muscle itself with blood) and cause a heart attack, it can go to your brain and cause a stroke, or it can go into the lungs and cause a pulmonary embolism (PE). So usually people with A-fib are put on blood thinners to keep the clotting from occurring, or if the A-fib is too high of a rate (rapid A-fib) they’re sometimes given medication or cardioverted (shocked) out of it.

      Like another commenter stated, in guessing they stimulated the vagal nerve which converted his heart rhythm into sinus rhythm, which is the normal heart rhythm.

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      • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Your left or my left?

        Also does this mean everyone should be diddling their buttholes from time to time - either that or stick a fork in an outlet on occasion?

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      • ryannathans@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Can confirm taking a shit fixed rapid af

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      • pyre@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        thanks, i didn’t want to sleep anymore anyway

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    • Wallaby@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’ve been told in the past that if you feel yourself going into a fib, you should push like your trying to shit to bring you out of it.

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      • ryannathans@aussie.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I was in a fib for about 30 hours. They were gonna defib shock me in the next hour via my oesophagus to correct it. I needed to take a shit, and did so while my portable ECG started alarming

        A minute later I was in a rapid but normal sinus rhythm

        Works

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  • ryedaft@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Pacemaker but it’s an electrified thong

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    • Test_Tickles@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What a weird timeline… The US is going to outlaw vaccines at the same time that insurance companies will start refusing to pay for surgically implanted pacemakers and force everyone with a heart condition to wear electrified butt plugs.
      Automatic defibrillators everywhere will be reduced in size to a package smaller than a beer can, and CPR classes will teach you the proper way to spit on the AED before shoving it into someone’s butt.

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      • ouRKaoS@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’m sure you could easily have a separate E-stim Plug in the AED kit, like how some have different pads for children and adults. Also pretty sure I could rig that right now with a few wire nuts and some tape.

        I hate that I immediately thought of a practical way to accomplish that before I thought “WTF!?”

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    • Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      “My magical electric sex heart pants!”

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      • Coldcell@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Image

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    • voodooattack@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      *buttplug

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Stim-plug.

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  • baggins@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Next study will determine if regular anal sex is good for cardiovascular health.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Only if it’s with a doctor.

      And no, you can’t stuff apples up your butt, that kills the doctor.

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    • meyotch@slrpnk.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Plz to post call for volunteer study subjects

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      • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        🤚

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    • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      i mean that’s an obvious yes because it’s exercise

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  • Carvex@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Can’t wait to see how United Healthcare bills that one

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    • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      This is actually free rn

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  • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    He told the paramedics that’s where he keeps his insurance card.

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  • Enkers@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think I may be suffering from atrial fibrillation. Could someone give me a hand? 🤒👉👈

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    • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Best I can do is the tip.

      Also in Japan and Korea it’s apparently a ‘harmless prank’ to suddenly stick a finger up someone’s bunghole if they’ve bent over or are otherwise unsuspecting.

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      • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        arguably does more harm to the pranker than the prankee

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  • ebolapie@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This sounds like a house md deleted scene

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    • GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That was my first thought as well.

      Chase: He’s in atrial fibrillation. Get the crash cart.

      House: No! Pull down his pants and hand me that glove and some lube!

      Chase and the other Doctors: Um…what?

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  • Malgas@beehaw.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    There’s a “cute AF” joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite put it together.

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    • xorollo@leminal.space ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Me either, but not having a medical background, I thought that’s what it said at first

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  • happybadger@hexbear.net ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    While it’d be nice to have an alternative to the crushing hopelessness of an AED, I would hate to do this in an ambulance for several reasons.

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  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    “See. This is why I prefer rubber gloves instead of nitrile. That way I can keep doing the exam while they defibrillate, and my fingers don’t go numb!”

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  • archonet@lemy.lol ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    perhaps they got inspired somewhere.

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    • oneser@lemmy.zip ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      #RiskyClicks

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  • OptimisticPessimist@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dr. Slenderman, urologist/cardiac electrophysiologist, for all your manual internal cardioversions.

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  • sudo_halt@lemmygrad.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So gay sex is a real solution to a heart attack

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  • Serinus@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Confirmed that this is a real paper on PubMed.

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    • rustydrd@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I may be prejudiced, but whenever I see a journal that exclusively publishes case reports, I immediately think “paper mill”.

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  • usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wonder if they would’ve kept escalating until it worked

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