Pacemaker but it’s an electrified thong
quick thinking
Submitted 18 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/b28daf23-371b-42b2-9b43-d1aeb8f6113d.png
Comments
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 17 hours ago
Test_Tickles@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
What a weird timeline… The US is going to outlaw vaccines at the same time that insurance companies will start refusing to pay for surgically implanted pacemakers and force everyone with a heart condition to wear electrified butt plugs.
Automatic defibrillators everywhere will be reduced in size to a package smaller than a beer can, and CPR classes will teach you the proper way to spit on the AED before shoving it into someone’s butt.Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 16 hours ago
“My magical electric
sexheart pants!”Coldcell@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
voodooattack@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
*buttplug
baggins@lemmy.ca 16 hours ago
Next study will determine if regular anal sex is good for cardiovascular health.
Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 7 hours ago
Only if it’s with a doctor.
And no, you can’t stuff apples up your butt, that kills the doctor.
meyotch@slrpnk.net 8 hours ago
Plz to post call for volunteer study subjects
LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
He told the paramedics that’s where he keeps his insurance card.
Malgas@beehaw.org 12 hours ago
There’s a “cute AF” joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite put it together.
xorollo@leminal.space 7 hours ago
Me either, but not having a medical background, I thought that’s what it said at first
Enkers@sh.itjust.works 14 hours ago
I think I may be suffering from atrial fibrillation. Could someone give me a hand? 🤒👉👈
Carvex@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Can’t wait to see how United Healthcare bills that one
InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
This is actually free rn
happybadger@hexbear.net 16 hours ago
While it’d be nice to have an alternative to the crushing hopelessness of an AED, I would hate to do this in an ambulance for several reasons.
Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 14 hours ago
“See. This is why I prefer rubber gloves instead of nitrile. That way I can keep doing the exam while they defibrillate, and my fingers don’t go numb!”
OptimisticPessimist@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Dr. Slenderman, urologist/cardiac electrophysiologist, for all your manual internal cardioversions.
archonet@lemy.lol 17 hours ago
oneser@lemmy.zip 17 hours ago
#RiskyClicks
sudo_halt@lemmygrad.ml 15 hours ago
So gay sex is a real solution to a heart attack
Serinus@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Confirmed that this is a real paper on PubMed.
rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 8 hours ago
I may be prejudiced, but whenever I see a journal that exclusively publishes case reports, I immediately think “paper mill”.
skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
Can someone translate this into English for the ones who aren’t doctors or biologists?
This sounds like someone was having a heart attack and they started playing with his butthole. I’d appreciate if someone could tell me that’s not the case.
moobythegoldensock@infosec.pub 13 hours ago
The heart was going “kethumpathumpadump,” the doctor put a finger up the guy’s butt, and then his heart reset to a normal “lub dub, lub dub.”
TomMasz@piefed.social 16 hours ago
You're pretty much correct. AF is a heart rhythm abnormality, and if it persists, like it seems to here, it renders the heart unable to pump blood. It appears he might have been undergoing a prostate exam when this happened, since that's the usual reason for a digital rectal exam. You'd have to assume the doctor knew they had this condition to begin with.
Klear@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Digital here means “using fingers” rather than “not analog”, right?
skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
And “sinus rhythm” in this case would be… normal sinusoidal heart function, right?
Incredible. Thanks for the translation.
Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Nope. If I recall correctly all other interventions failed, so this was a hail Mary that happened to work
lonefighter@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Not familiar with the paper this is from, but Atrial Fibrilation isn’t a heart attack (it can cause one, or a stroke). The human heart has 4 chambers, the left and right atria are on top and the left and right ventricles are on the bottom. In super layman’s terms, blood enters the heart from the lungs into the left atria and from the body into the right atria, passes through valves into the ventricles, and then is passed into the body (from the left ventricle) or the lungs (right ventricle). Normally the atria squeeze, there’s a slight pause to allow blood to enter the ventricles, then the ventricles squeeze. In A-fib, the atria just quiver, they don’t squeeze. It can be fairly benign and people can walk around for months without knowing they’re in A-fib because the blood will just drop into the ventricles and the ventricles do the work of pumping blood out into the lungs and the body. But the problem is that in A-fib some blood tends to hang out in the atria and it doesn’t completely empty, so eventually it can clot and now you have a huge clot hanging out inside your heart. If that clot decides to move it can go out into your body and end up in one of the coronary arteries (the arteries on the outside of your heart that supply your heart muscle itself with blood) and cause a heart attack, it can go to your brain and cause a stroke, or it can go into the lungs and cause a pulmonary embolism (PE). So usually people with A-fib are put on blood thinners to keep the clotting from occurring, or if the A-fib is too high of a rate (rapid A-fib) they’re sometimes given medication or cardioverted (shocked) out of it.
Like another commenter stated, in guessing they stimulated the vagal nerve which converted his heart rhythm into sinus rhythm, which is the normal heart rhythm.