happybadger
@happybadger@hexbear.net
Working class employee of the Sashatown Central News Agency, the official news service of the DPRS Ministry of State Security. Your premier source for patriotic facts.
- Comment on I got plans this weekend. 1 month ago:
mom never lets me play Introduction to Random Signals and Noise. I’ve beaten Environmental Plant Physiology so many times and even got 100% on soil pH challenge mode.
- Comment on Aardwoof 2 months ago:
Nature designed this creature to receive scritches.
- Comment on Unusual Pollinators 2 months ago:
news.cornell.edu/…/snakes-act-ecosystem-engineers…
(rattle)snakes as pollinators are greatly underappreciated. Their stomach acid doesn’t destroy the seeds contained in the stomachs of their herbivorous prey.
- Comment on Causes of Death in London (1623) 3 months ago:
Someone translated the antiquated diagnoses: reddit.com/…/causes_of_death_in_london_in_1632/
spoiler
Bear in mind that there was neither modern medicine, diagnostics or autopsies in the 1600s, so diseases we would treat separately would be lumped together. Abortive and stillborn – mostly natural miscarriages and stillbirths, but there was always someone who knew how to induce a miscarriage with either herbs or physical interventions. Affrighted – it’s not really possible to die of fright, but if you died for no reason, or had a stroke or heart attack which left your face twisted in an expression of fear or pain… Ague – the alternating fevers and chills associated with malaria Apoplex and megrom – strokes and other catastrophic brain damage, such as burst aneurysms (megrom is migraine, migraines don’t kill you but it’s a sudden, excruciating pain in the head, some of which are a symptom of something fatal). Bit with a mad dog – rabies, or, just a dog bite in a bad place such as by an artery or one that got infected. Bleeding – any number of causes, just like today. Bloody flux, scowring and flux – various ways of shitting yourself inside out. Bruised, issues, sores and ulcers – self-explanatory. Sores and ulcers that got infected would almost certainly kill you. Severe bruises could be indicative of some sort of haemorrhagic fever. Burnt and scalded – homes were heated by and food was cooked on open fires. Only five deaths from burns and scalds in a year is a miracle. Burst and rupture – could be appendix, but unlikely as that would almost certainly require autopsy to diagnose. More likely hernia. Cancer, and wolf – discussed in other comments but the same thing, essentially. Wolf was particularly aggressive tumours that ate someone alive from the inside. Canker – ulceration of mouth and lips from herpes. Secondary infection was what probably finished you off, but a mouth full of sores will make it difficult to eat. Childbed – women would make their will shortly before they were due to give birth, because it could go so wrong in so many, many ways. Chrisomes and infants – Chrisomes were babies who died within the first month of life, around the time they were baptised, the chrisome is the cloth used during the baptism. Cold and cough – wrap up warm or you’ll catch your death. Colick, stone and strangury – all sorts of pains in your intestines, hernias, colic, bowel obstructions, appendicitis, difficulty urinating. Consumption – probably tuberculosis, but possibly other lung diseases such as lung cancer etc. Convulsions – epilepsy or other fits, possibly febrile convulsions in infants. Cut of the stone – death during or after surgical removal of kidney or bladder stones. This is the 17th century. No anaesthesia, no aseptic surgery, imagine how desperate you would have to be from pain to let some butcher in his bloody apron anywhere near you. Dead in the street and starved – homeless and froze to death. Dropsie and swelling – symptom of heart disease and early stage failure. Drowned – fairly self- explanatory. Could be accidental or deliberate. Executed and prest to death – executed is obvious. Pressing was a form of torture used if a prisoner refused to enter a plea of guilty or not guilty, they would have heavier and heavier weights placed on their chests until they either gave in and entered a plea or died under the weight. Falling sickness – epilepsy Fever – could be anything involving a high temperature Fistula – almost certainly obstetric fistula. Women who labour long and hard can incur all sorts of physical injury, a fistula is caused when the pressure of a baby that can’t get through causes necrosis as the blood supply to the genitals is cut off. In extreme cases, the bowel, vagina and bladder become one big hole through which urine and faeces pass uncontrollably. Fistula has other causes, if you want to horrify yourself you can read the wikipedia page. Flocks and smallpox – flocks is a euphemism for syphilis, smallpox is smallpox, hurrah for vaccines, we don’t have this one any more. French pox – syphilis Gangrene – infected wounds Gout – err, gout. Grief – how many times has one of a couple died and the other one followed them shortly after? Jaundice – liver disease. Jawsaln – lockjaw, also known as tetanus. Get your shots, especially if you fertilise your garden using horse manure. Impostume – abscesses in various places. These can cause septicaemia Kil’d by several accidents – this just means “several people died by various accidents” it doesn’t mean some poor unfortunate soul fell off the roof and was hit by a cart and then fell in the Thames. King’s evil – scrofula, a tuberculosis infection of the bones and glands in the neck. It was believed the king or queen could cure it by touching the affected place. Lethargie – presumably some sort of chronic fatigue Livergrown – swollen liver, could be caused by various diseases. Lunatique – insanity of one sort or another. Made away themselves – suicide Measles – measles Murthered – there’s been a murder! It’s of course almost certain that some of the other deaths were murders, especially those of babies, the accidents, and drownings. Overlaid and starved at nurse - Overlaid is either what we these days would call smothering, usually caused by an adult sleeping in the same bed as the baby and either rolling on top of them in their sleep or trapping the baby under the blankets, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Or, of course, deliberately stopping a child breathing. Starved at nurse could be what used to be called “failure to thrive” or issues with the mother or wet-nurse’s milk supply. In the case of wet nurses, they would often take on too many babies and couldn’t produce enough milk for all of them. Palsie – paralysis or uncontrolled tremor of muscles. Some cases were probably Parkinson’s. Piles – these can cause septicaemia Plague – febrile disease carried by the fleas that normally live on rats or other rodents. Planet - afflicted by the astrological influence of a planet. People believed that the planets had a significant influence on people’s moods, behaviour and health. Could be applied to any sudden death such as a heart attack or aneurysm. Pleurisie and spleen – pleurisy is a chest infection, I’m not sure why spleen is grouped here, I’ve had pleurisy and I definitely knew my spleen wasn’t involved. Purples and spotted fever – typhus or any other disease which causes subcutaneous haemorrhage. Severe bruising. Broken blood vessels caused by underlying disease. Quinsie – a complication of tonsillitis, an abscess in the back of the throat. Rising of the lights – the coughing and choking as your lungs fill up with fluid as your organs fail. Sometimes asthma, croup, pneumonia, anything characterised by a feeling of choking. Sciatica – sciatica. This can be crippling if not treated. Scurvey and itch – scurvy can cause death. It stops wounds healing and it also reopens old wounds and death results from either bleeding or infection. Suddenly – heart attacks, strokes or aneurysms. Surfeit – an excess of something. Either eating too much of something which is toxic in excess (Henry I and his lampreys), or untreated diabetes, or drinking too much. Swine pox – swine pox isn’t transmissible to humans, this is a euphemism for syphilis. Teeth – either babies who died as their teeth were coming in, or deaths from abscesses. Thrush and sore mouth – sores make it hard to eat. Could be a bad case of mouth ulcers, herpes, a number of things. Tympany – a swollen abdomen that sounds hollow when tapped. Fatal if caused by kidney disease. Tissick – the wheezing and coughing associated with asthma or TB Vomiting – long-term vomiting can prove fatal. Worms – a thoroughgoing worm infestation can fuck you up good and proper. If it’s really bad, you can hear them, rustling inside you. Rustle rustle rustle.
- Comment on Frog's Gift 4 months ago:
Those are usually the scary ones to piss on, unless it’s a tree frog in which case you have to factor in the dexterity.
- Comment on Frog's Gift 4 months ago:
I never knew pregnancy tests had frogs in them. The sticks seem so small.
- Comment on same as it ever was 4 months ago:
They really understate Mozart. My favourite scatalogical composition of his is “Lick My Ass Right Well and Clean” where he compares his ass to nicely buttered roast meat: en.wikipedia.org/…/Leck_mir_den_Arsch_fein_recht_…
Super pretty choir piece: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkNePP0DX1A
- Comment on Unholy Physics 5 months ago:
Huh, so Jesus was crucified in the pokemon universe. I wonder if one helped the Romans do it.
- Comment on stacked 6 months ago:
I refuse to believe medieval people could build cathedrals. They lacked modern tools for such precise masonry and glasswork.
- Comment on Burning Up 6 months ago:
I like the saying “Fahrenheit is what you feel, Celsius is what water feels, and Kelvin is what the universe feels”.
- Comment on Mike Lynch's co-defendant in US trial dies in UK road accident, lawyer says 7 months ago:
Nature is healing wholesome
- Comment on YouTube Binges 7 months ago:
- Comment on Camera reels 7 months ago:
Now a few of them have photos of flowers, but for a while I could scroll down like 50 of those things and they were all photos of my dog set to terrible autogenerated music. AI is the future.
- Comment on Police station set on fire in Sunderland as unrest rolls on 7 months ago:
I’m so curious to see how far this will go, especially if the police response is overwhelming as Starmer’s indicating. With the cost of living crisis only going to worsen this strikes me as a stupid version of the Freikorps being driven by the post-WW1 German economic collapse. A racist lynching or the police shooting a protester could both really explode this thing.
- Comment on J.K. Rowling Blasts “Gender Taliban” David Tennant After ‘Harry Potter’ Actor Said “Whinging” Trans Critics Are On “Wrong Side Of History” 8 months ago:
I would love to see a Gender Taliban declare war on JKKK Rowling. Like 20 years of protracted insurgency which reduces her to poverty before it wins.
- Comment on Apples to Apples 9 months ago:
rat-salute I can only imagine how many useful genes that saves.
- Comment on +rads 10 months ago:
My magic rocks do something. Trust me. Crystals and turquoise are for rubes but this magic rock is named after a planetoid so it has special energy. Buy these very expensive magic rocks instead of the cheaper ones at the woo store.
- Comment on Wild times 10 months ago:
The Magic School Bus was from a time before woke pollution. I fondly remember every episode ending with the class yelling at the Latino student.
- Comment on Wild times 10 months ago:
Can’t do this anymore. Not since teaching became “woke”.
- Comment on Questionable methods. 10 months ago:
- Comment on Symbiotic Shrimp 10 months ago:
My SECRET diet for MASSIVE GAINS doctors DON’T want you to know about. For only $300, I’ll introduce YOU to the Gallon of Shrimp Juice per Day Lifestyle.
- Comment on Beans 10 months ago:
In addition to what Darth_Reagan said, it’s for pest control as well. By keeping a plant in the field for more than one season, you provide a food source for pests whose parents went there to feed the previous one. Some diseases only impact certain crops and can stick around in the dead matter only to attack your vulnerable new plants.
- Comment on Cruciferae 10 months ago:
If anything they look the neatest as a plant: i.imgur.com/DyqeN2c.jpeg
- Comment on Archaeology 10 months ago:
side-eye-1 side-eye-2 even if you’re a history geek?
- Comment on bugs 10 months ago:
Or tell him he’s the Lord of the Flies for being a Hemiptera expert and see what he does.
- Comment on nailed it 11 months ago:
gastrocnemius
Stomach of the leg. That’s almost reaching the level of Amorphophallus titanum.
- Comment on land shrimp 11 months ago:
montclair.edu/…/cicadas-safe-to-eat-sustainable-d…
spoiler
After 17 years underground, billions of periodical cicadas known as Brood X are set to emerge, and we hope you’ve brought your appetite. See, a swarm of cicadas may sound scary, but they’re quite harmless and, in actuality, can be a new food to introduce into your diet. Calling all adventurous eaters! Assistant Professor of Anthropology Cortni Borgerson, whose research focuses on natural resource use, sustainability and food security, says that the fact that they make a tasty snack is just one of the wonders of cicadas. “Brood X cicadas are one of the world’s most incredible animal phenomena,” says Borgerson. “In a year where few of us may be traveling to see natural wonders like Africa’s great migration, or the elephant gathering of Sri Lanka, we are incredibly privileged to have this rare spectacle occurring in our very own backyards. Brood X provides an infusion of nutrients into the ecosystem, and humans have been enjoying this event for its sights, sounds and taste for millenia.” Eating cicadas (and other bugs) is sustainable and nutritious Many may associate the idea of eating bugs with survival reality shows, but consider this: Not only can insects actually make for a great and tasty bite when thoughtfully prepared (see recipes below), they’re also a nutritious meat alternative high in protein and minerals, and are a sustainable food source. Indeed, they may be small, but bugs can have a mighty big impact on humans. “Insects are an important source of food for more than two billion people on Earth, including many food cultures within the United States,” says Borgerson. “These little meats are not only a mainstream food source, they’re also a more sustainable choice than other species of livestock, which can require a lot of land, water and feed. Embracing food diversity and incorporating insects and other traditional foods into our diets isn’t only a great way to connect with our cultures and our natural environments, it’s also a key step toward living sustainably.” Where to find cicadas to harvest Annual cicadas can be found toward the end of the summer, emerging mostly in parks, forests, other wooded areas and even in your backyard. These are safe places to collect them once they’ve shed; basically anywhere you’d feel safe keeping a garden is a good bet. Avoid collecting and eating cicadas from places with a history of industrial use. As for Brood X, you’ll need a map to find these periodical cicadas – and your best bet is to look for where they most commonly popped up last time around. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service offers a map of where the Brood X cicadas are expected to emerge, by county. For a breakdown by towns in New Jersey, check out this comprehensive list from NJ.com. “You’ll be able to hear when you’re close,” says Borgerson. “These cicadas live as nymphs underground for 17 years, and then tunnel up through the ground to the surface where they shed into their winged adult phase, living only 4-6 weeks. Cicada are tastiest in their teneral stage, which is right after they’ve shed into their adult forms, but are still pale white before their exoskeletons have hardened. “So at dusk, look for those wingless nymphs and enjoy the incredible show as they shed and transform and slowly inflate their new wings. Then pop a few into a bag and take them home to freeze for about 30 minutes before you prepare them.” Cicadas, a gateway bug to entomophagy If you’re curious about entomophagy (the practice of eating insects, especially by humans), cicadas are a great place to start. Unlike other bugs that can have “crunchy exoskeletons and wings,” teneral cicadas have a nutty, green, almost peeled shrimp-y look, taste and texture similar to the crustaceans. “You can add them to any of your favorite dishes,” says Borgerson. “They don’t need peeling or extensive prepping, just pan fry them or parboil and toast them in the oven, and then use them like you would any of their crustacean relatives. Personally, I love them by themselves on toothpicks as an appetizer or in tacos, where you can use the toppings to bring out a lot of their green spring flavors.” Before you know it, you may enjoy eating cicadas so much that you’ll move on to toasted cricket snacks, green ant gin, grasshoppers in chapulines tacos and more. Don’t eat cicadas if you’re allergic to shellfish Cicadas have a similar chitinous exterior as shellfish, so while there’s no overwhelming evidence that those with allergies have had reactions after eating cicadas, there’s not much research in its favor, either. “A shellfish allergy increases the likelihood that you will be allergic to cicada, so it’s better to be safe than sorry and abstain from land arthropods if you can’t eat their sea swimming cousins.” Can animals safely eat cicadas? OK, so what happens if you’re so busy munching on your new favorite snack that you don’t realize your beloved pet just ate a cicada or two (or more)? “Many mammals and birds are about to feast on the periodic cicadas, so don’t be surprised if your pet cat, dog, or backyard fowl indulge a little as well,” says Borgerson. “There’s nothing to be worried about — cicadas are high in protein and their chitin is great for gut health.”
If you’re curious about entomophagy (the practice of eating insects, especially by humans), cicadas are a great place to start. Unlike other bugs that can have “crunchy exoskeletons and wings,” teneral cicadas have a nutty, green, almost peeled shrimp-y look, taste and texture similar to the crustaceans.
“You can add them to any of your favorite dishes,” says Borgerson. “They don’t need peeling or extensive prepping, just pan fry them or parboil and toast them in the oven, and then use them like you would any of their crustacean relatives. Personally, I love them by themselves on toothpicks as an appetizer or in tacos, where you can use the toppings to bring out a lot of their green spring flavors.”
Cicadas have a similar chitinous exterior as shellfish, so while there’s no overwhelming evidence that those with allergies have had reactions after eating cicadas, there’s not much research in its favor, either. “A shellfish allergy increases the likelihood that you will be allergic to cicada, so it’s better to be safe than sorry and abstain from land arthropods if you can’t eat their sea swimming cousins.” Can animals safely eat cicadas?
I’m definitely giving these a try this year.
- Comment on *sad laughing noises* 1 year ago:
I’m going to pad my H-index score by refuting all of the 19th century science saying that plants grow because ghosts stretch them overnight.
- Comment on *sad laughing noises* 1 year ago:
I hurt me when I didn’t study anthropology instead. At least then I’d be poor and could comprehend what I’m reading without googling half the words.
- Comment on *sad laughing noises* 1 year ago:
I’m gonna get a PhD and be $100k in debt and change the thing so obscure that nobody else has bothered studying it yet so that in 50 years someone cites the paper in an essay.
