4chan proving it’s incel ground zero, those unfuckable virgins are a bane on society.
Maybe work on yourself and stop hating the world for your own problems.
Anon sees happy people
Submitted 20 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/9532361b-38bc-4775-9df9-59501fe106b3.jpeg
Comments
BetaBlake@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
My qualm with “working on yourself” advise is that it is too broad and non-specific, which I think makes a person even more confused. There are so many little details that a person may miss in relation to themselves. It requires a lot of introspection. But even then, even if the person does a lot of thinking, the conclusion may be wrong. For example, the guy does work out and believes he will attract girls; but if he doesn’t realise he’s got bad breath and got turned down for it. Then it could lead to the wrong conclusion for him that women in general are just mean, or whatever other wrong conclusion that the guy could draw from.
I’ve seen guys struggle with dating, even good looking ones, but most of the time it is because they struggle to figure out the finer details. However, the problem is that it is hard to broach the topic because it may offend the person. Each individuals are unique and as much as we are all unique in our own good way, it also applies that we are all uniquely flawed. We have to figure out the latter and rectify it without putting ourselves down. But even the process of rectifying one’s own self can be challenging, because introspection could lead to unhealthy conclusions and behaviours if not done in healthy manner.
I don’t know if it makes sense, but that’s just my two cents based from my personal experience and what I observed about others. I think many men are struggling because they don’t get specific enough advise. There is no “one size fits all” advise for men in dating and relationships (if there is, unfortunately, the broad “one size fits all advise” are easily used for exploited by those who could influence as we saw with Andrew Gate and others). But as I mentioned, providing specific advise to individuals is a hard thing to broach.
TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 9 hours ago
I concur. It’s also not helping that men don’t really get a lot of compliments, so they don’t know what they’re doing right. Plus certain people, like the creators of dating site or those awful PUA sites, trying to make a business from other people’s suffering. I mean, the general idea of getting neckbeards out of their comfort zones is laudable, but those parasites then took it way too far and turned to full-on exploitation and misogyny, cementing the status quo.
I used to know this guy who used to be a real ladies’ man until his early 30s. Wondering what happened, he swallowed this whole PUA BS hook line and sinker, but things didn’t improve. What has changed about him, though, was that he had gotten a career and, while being quite successful and hoarding money big time, his free time was gone. He just wasn’t fun anymore. Also, he just didn’t look healthy anymore. And then we lost contact.
uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 11 hours ago
Disclaimer: I was never an Incel. I held no ill will against women, I always had many female friends. Still, I didn’t ever have a romantic partnership and I suffered from it.
I am 29 years old. This year I started treating my chronic depression I never admitted I had and oh wonder I found a wonderful partner in a matter of months. Incel ideology is so fucked up. These guys seriously need help and support structures but they reject all that and hate half of humanity instead.
GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Misogynist ≠ incel. Incel means involuntary celibate. We need more people to learn about this and stop equating those two terms
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
Well, noone ever showed them differently. And then, thanks to the internet, they get sucked into some circle-jerk of, at first, in voluntaries, and then they get hyped against women. At least it isn’t their own fault anymore but the women’s. They feel better, and the circle did a fullturn and starts to drag them deeper.
It’s understandable. But ultimately makes it harder and harder for them to ever crawl out of that pit and work on the real issues.
EldenLord@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Exactly. It’s funny how weird and distanced from reality the posts on 4chan are. As if 6 inches of height would make or break a relationship. My gf is ~5 inch taller than me and lifts more and guess what? She’s still devoted to me.
Damage@slrpnk.net 15 hours ago
Interesting how this short story includes height
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Dude, incels are obsessed with height
ameancow@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
The act of rumination on a depressive episode involves your brain trying to find something about you, something immutable and deeply connected with who you are as a person, and it takes that thing and amplifies it through a wickedly destructive lens.
See, a lot of people don’t know how their own brain works. They think they can think about something and their thoughts will reason out a solution, or that all their ideas are based on the brain’s ability to connect logical elements.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Your brain is designed to write a story to explain how you feel. If you already feel bad, especially if you’re not entirely sure why, your brain will scramble for a story, it will tie together every weird loose-end it can find, and assemble a batshit nonsense story for you, which you will believe wholeheartedly. You think your brain is you. You think your thoughts have to be true if they come from inside. Many people never consider that their own thinking is fundamentally wrong, and most of us are wrong about a number of things we feel wholly confident about.
Curbing depressive episodes and getting your life back involves learning to identify when you start ruminating and nipping it in the bud. For many insecure, lonely guys, memes/stories like this will be MAJOR trigger-points for rumination episodes, an act that becomes strangely addictive when you’re suffering depression.
The difference between some sullent incel who hates life and hates you and hates women and hates themselves, but happens to be 5’ 9", versus a really short dude who has a nice girlfriend and smiles a lot about their life and appreciates what he has, absolutely comes down to how their brains have learned to assemble stories for their world and how emotionally intelligent they are. Some dude is reading this post right now gnashing their teeth because their brain is resisting this message because brains hate to be wrong. Even though they’re very good at being wrong.
Maalus@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
I think it sets up the scene, of her having to look up at his face a little bit
tetris11@lemmy.ml 11 hours ago
See a couple my age out in public. Its this guy who is 6 inches tall and is being held in the palm of the hand of his gf. “What?” He squeaks. She looks down at him relentlessly with a big closed smile. “I’m just glad I met you.”
kshade@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
ITT: People who never had an intrusive thought and also people who get awfully judgy about someone’s immediate feelings.
Decency is not acting on negative emotions and impulses, not not having them at all.
ameancow@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
On the other hand, the act of sharing this response without also sharing a method of resolution and/or a framing or context that makes it a passing feeling and not a “harsh reality about current society” or whatever your brain will try to attach to, just provides miserable people yet another rumination topic to get lost down.
For healthy adults, you learn how to manage or avoid rumination. For people without social experience, without a healthy level of emotional intelligence, and especially without good, involved parenting, a young mind can take a post like this and just get absolutely lost down the rabbit-hole of negative validation. Seeing someone in the community you connect with sharing a feeling that your already depressed brain can latch onto is a recipe for depressive contagions.
Get your teenagers off the internet people.
kshade@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
That is true, neither shaming people for how they might feel in the moment nor sharing it without context is great or helpful.
GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 10 hours ago
I know relationships are larger than small moments shared at gas stations. I had thousands of tiny, beautiful moments in and around gas stations, still divorced.
Life is a fluid, evolving thing. Who you will be ten years from now is not who you are now, but it’s also not something you have to deal with at the moment.
So, enjoy it while it’s there. Good for them. Those little moments are what life is about, if fleeting, but that just makes them all that sweeter.
shalafi@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
Wait till OP sees the same scene, but she’s 6" taller. Then he’ll really freak.
(Guys. Do not thou be afraid. I’ve dated women taller than me, by 5". It’s nice. That’s all.)
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Not likely I’d met a 6’10" woman.
Justas@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Don’t let your dreams be memes!
ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 hours ago
I’ve also dated women taller than me and had no issue, my issue is simply that I find it funny how bodyshaming is only ok when you do it to men (no hair, fat gut, small peepee, short, etc) but any other time it’s bad and you should feel bad. How come “manlet” still gets a pass but we’ve deprecated “whale?”
Frankly I bet no shortage of those incels are fat or short guys with small weewees and bad hair and that the bodyshaming helps cement them in their misanthropic position, “why even try, I can’t grow taller or afford hair/dick surgery, yadda yadda…” Sure the fat can be worked on, but do we tell fat women that are lonely to slim down? Not anymore, that used to be true but now it’s bodyshaming and you’re the asshole for doing it, so why shouldn’t fat men love their bodies too? Body positivity isn’t only for women.
I guess what I’m trying to say is “Yeah, do not thou be afraid, but some of this shit needs to be talked about because it seems incongruous with reason, and honestly it may contribute to the problem.”
Kitathalla@lemy.lol 9 hours ago
I’m still holding hope that someday someone taller than me will be amenable to a date. I’m just tired of always being the spinner instead of the spinnee in the dance of life.
Jackcooper@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Anon might be one of them haters I’ve heard of
Asafum@feddit.nl 18 hours ago
I’ll never understand that reaction. I completely understand seeing that and wanting to kill yourself, but I never thought the happy couple should die.
I see those kinds of couples and my only thoughts are usually some form of “lucky lucky. I’m such a worthless piece of shit.” Lol
LodeMike@lemmy.today 17 hours ago
Armchair psychology by your local dipshit:
Depression tends to be irrational, and thus thought processes around it tend to be irrational.
shneancy@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
“if i can’t have it, nobody should have it”
also applies to everyone who opposes progress because they had it hard in life
kshade@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
The experience was ptobably painful (literally) for Anon so his lizard brain immediately wanted to strike back at what’s causing the pain. Doesn’t make much sense of course so he didn’t actually do it, probably felt bad about it too.
Ragdoll_X@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
It probably depends on your personality, mainly agreeableness.
Asafum@feddit.nl 9 hours ago
That makes a lot of sense and I do tend to score high in agreeableness when I’ve taken those silly personality tests
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 16 hours ago
Now imagine you had more than a good shot, and you where the one who rejected her. How would you feel, looking back and seeing you where an idiot?
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Fucking hell, you have to forgive your past self for being a dumbass. Everyone’s past self was an idiot literally because they didn’t know what present self knows.
Forgive your past and focus on working your present for what you want for your future self.
It’s not hippy-dippy bullshit, it’s literally the foundational principle for doing anything in life like getting fitter, starting a business, learning a new skill / subject, improving your dating prospects, etc.
If you only wallow in your past mistakes and not doing the teeny-tiniest improvements of literally 1% or 0.1%, then you’re not living, you’re just dying slowly. Living is much more fun.
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
You live and you learn, hopefully. But if you can do it once, you can do it again!