I replaced my entire diet with applesauce and I think I might be shitting myself to death.
Stupid recipe
Submitted 2 months ago by ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world to [deleted]
https://media.piefed.world/posts/n9/Wn/n9Wnyf41Ig62Yz7.png
Comments
rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Kenny2999@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Add some sugar free gummy bears and let it all go.
db2@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Wash it down with some Tuscan Whole Milk.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
You need to follow it up with an applesauce enema to replace the electrolytes.
Triumph@fedia.io 2 months ago
I did a bump of applesauce, and now I have a sinus infection.
justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 2 months ago
You'll get pancreas issues first. Exactly what Steve Jobs died from
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 months ago
Jobs was dumber. He started his fruitarian nonsense in response to his extremely treatable pancreatic cancer.
BurntWits@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Shoutout to my community !ididnthaveeggs@sh.itjust.works which is more of this! I’d recommend someone check it out :)
fbr@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
1/5. I took the community name and replaced all letters with numbers and it didn’t work.
(Nice community, I’ve subscribed!)
edgesmash@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’d recommend someone check it out :)
OK, I’ll be your someone!
moseschrute@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I can’t stop laughing at these posts 😂 thanks for sharing this community
BurntWits@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I’m glad you’re enjoying the posts! I’ve got a few more saved, they’ll be posted shortly. After that I’ll be on the hunt, and hopefully others can add posts too.
danekrae@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“I followed the instructions exactly except that I took one left turn instead of a right turn. I don’t know why I didn’t arrive at the correct destination as I followed the route exactly.”
HeyJoe@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This is like my wife, but with ordering food. Buys a specialty sandwich but removes everything that makes it what it is. Then has the audacity to say it wasnt very good…
helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 2 months ago
“I’ll have a Krabby Patty with no Bottom Bun, Patty, Ketchup, Mustard, Mayo, Cheese, Tomato, Onion, or Top Bun” and then wonder why you got a pickle salad.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 2 months ago
It is a well-known substitution but you can't say you followed the recipe exactly after doing that.
nul9o9@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I was making salt dough for my kids school project, and i was wondering why it had the consistency of icing.
I realized i grabbed the powdered sugar container instead of flower.
pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Replaced chocolate with dog shit, don’t know why it tastes so bad
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 months ago
ooo i love this stuff
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Reminds me of the two times I screwed up some cornbread by mismeasuring the milk. Twice
Bloodyhog@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Well, he says it himself: he did not turn out well. Should do better in next life!
maxxadrenaline@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I accidentally used powdered sugar instead of flour. The cookies were terrible
BakerBagel@midwest.social 2 months ago
Applesauce is a pretty standard substitute for oils when baking. My mom eould always use it when making brownies.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Iusedcocaineinsteadofflourandthecookiesarefuckinggreat
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I was making some ice, but substituted the water for baby oil. Now the ice feels liquid and squishy. Don’t know what I did wrong. Follow the recipe precisely!
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Hi Diddy.
iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
For anyone unaware, applesauce is actually a common oil substitution in baking. This isn’t as crazy as it may seem.
That said, there’s still the issue with the use of “exactly”, however if I remember correctly (and take this with a grain of salt) from my Reddit days, this was an old post and it turned out that the original recipe maker actually suggested the applesauce substitute in the first place.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 months ago
It’s also a common egg substitute used in vegan cooking or for people with allergies. Wild, isn’t it?
billwashere@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Egg is a much harder thing to replace. My son is vegan so my wife is often baking things that are vegan. Chia egg or aquafaba are usually pretty good. She makes a vegan muffin that I honestly prefer to “normal” muffins. Although I’m not 100% sure what she puts in them, I’d bet its applesauce.
Whatever you do, don’t ever have vegan “cheesecake”…. run away… quickly
thesystemisdown@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Pumpkin puree works pretty well too if your recipe can handle a little squashiness.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Can anyone elucidate me? What’s the purpose of apple sauce/oil in cake? Moisture retention? Texture? Adherence? Taste?
BlueMagma@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
It serves the same purpose as butter, it’s just more common to use butter in baking, don’t use oil with a taste (olive oil is to be avoided for example) it will ruin the taste of the cake
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
What he failed to mention is that he used Gerber apple sauce.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
and instead of 1 tbsp … they used 1 cup
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I didn’t have salt so I substituted garlic.
NewSocialWhoDis@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Link approves this comment.