Comments

• ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Invite Clark Kent to an interview with a Senior General in a small village in the Nevada desert. Clark arrives to an empty village full of plastic mannequins. The whole village disappears in a flash of light.

  Clark arrives back to the CIA office the next day with excuses that he couldn’t make it to the interview.

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  • Vikthor@piefed.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That's so easy that my favourite archeology professor could do it.

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    • ramble81@lemmy.zip ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Just need a refrigerator!

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• Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  I’m sure the CIA wouldn’t be that surprised at being unable to kill someone.

  Not after 634 failures against Fidel Castro

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  • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    At some point it must have become a hazing ritual. New CIA recruits had to have been goaded into attempting to assassinate him on super short notice, as a joke.

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    • ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’d watch that movie

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    • Archer@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “We purposely trained him wrong… as a joke.”

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  • cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Confirmed: Fidel Castro is Super Hombre.

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• DagwoodIII@piefed.social ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  [nerd alert] There was a Superman comic where someone alerts Clark Kent to a Luthor scheme and Superman shows up to wipe it out. The source confronts Kent, enraged that he took the easy way out. She wanted Kent to write the story and bring it to the world’s attention, not have Superman make the problem disappear

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  • pigup@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The s stands for shithead

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• Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Image

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  • Hoimo@ani.social ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What’s this flattened piece of metal doing on the table? Wait a minute… Are you Superman in disguise and the bullets fired from a silenced gun bounced off your invulnerable chest and landed on the table? …What am I saying? If that were true, Superman obviously would have eaten them to hide the evidence.

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    • Grimy@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I would have called the waiter and blamed it on the kitchen. No suspicion and a free meal most likely.

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    • chaos@beehaw.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Superman wouldn’t even be able to see through those Coke bottle glasses Clark’s always wearing, duh.

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  • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    dude is going to have the heaviest shits later.

    that toilet is gonna look like this when he’s done spraying lead out his well toned kryptonian ass.

    1000002141

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      i imagine kryptonians drop logs dense like nibblonians’ pebbles. which are also so dense they only require wiping/bideting when for example supes is sick.

      so like, he probably uses a lead bowl and a portal to the Phantom zone to take care of his deuces.

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  • stray@pawb.social ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Good thing he’s wearing one of his Kryptonian shirts today.

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    • maccentric@sh.itjust.works ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Nope, all patrons were given mandarin kimonos to wear, the bulletproof kind, just in case

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• lobut@lemmy.ca ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  If M Night Shyamalan directed this, it would be a Superman reveal at the end with a cheesy one-liner.

  “why won’t you die?” “because I believe in truth, justice and the American way”

  <Fin.>

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  • silasmariner@programming.dev ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If my night shamalamalan directed it would be really good for like the first 40% and then everything after a certain point would feel incredibly paint-by-nbers

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      yeah he does pretty great in establishing fictional universes, not so much in telling the stories in them.

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• GraniteM@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  There was a Superman: The Animated Series episode where someone put a bomb in Clark Kent’s car (or something like that) and it went off and the episode dealt with him having to come up with a plausible explanation for how he survived.

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  • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    “I guess they call it a fugue state? I don’t really remember what happened.”

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  • pjwestin@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The Late Mr. Kent. One of the best episodes of the series. He finds evidence that a death row inmate is innocent, gets, “assassinated,” by the real killer (which also destroys the evidence), and has to find a new way to clear the man/catch the real killer while also seeing how the people close to him deal with his, “death.” And, boy, that ending.

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Bar- I mean The Flash saved me just in the nick of time!”

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• halvar@lemy.lol ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  i would watch that movie

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• JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Change it to the IDF and it’s Clark reporting on Gaza.

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The IDF whole nuke all of Metropolis Kent Clark would walk out unscathed and they’d call him anti-semitic.

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    • Natanael@infosec.pub ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      would

      Did

      haaretz.com/…/00000198-124c-d3d2-a7dc-1edecc75000…

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  • cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’d watch that movie. Whether he tries to kill them back or it’s pure non-cathartic comedy.

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  • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    … Did you see the new Superman movie?

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    • JokeDeity@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No, I haven’t enjoyed superhero movies in like almost 2 decades, the genre lost it’s heart and soul for me mostly due to the MCU empire.

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• bluemoon@piefed.social ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  inspired by the well documented assassination attemps on Fidel Castro

  now available digitally for reading

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• EndOfLine@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Make it a Hallmark Christmas movie!

  Clark goes back to his rural childhood farm town for the holidays. Holly, a big city CIA assassin on her first assignment, comes to town under the guise of being a photographer there for their big Christmas festival. Between Clark’s all of the work he does to help setup for the festival and the seemingly persistent attention he revcieves from his highschool sweetheart, Lana (who looks remarkably similar to Holly in build, complexion and hair color) and her daughter Sarah, Holly struggles to find opportunities to kill this enemy of the state so she stages a honey trap to lure him to his demise. With each failed assassination attempt the honey trap becomes less of an act and she finds herself falling in love with him. Eventually Holly breaks down and confesses that she’s actually there to commit an illegal murder for the government, but can’t because her love for Clark has made her rethink her career path of state sanctioned murdering people for money. She runs off into the snow,tears running down her face. At the festival Clark is delivering fresh pies to the charity fund raiser both when he hears the news. Holly’s car was pulled from a frozen lake with a body inside. While damage from the wreck makes identification difficult, they are certain it Holly is dead. A forlorn and heartbroken the crowd parts and he sees Holly! They rush into each other’s arms. “How?” Clark asks. “I couldn’t just leave, they would come after me. The only way out was to fake my death.” Holly answers between kisses. “Then who was that in your car?” “Don’t worry about it”, she says as they kiss. Credits roll as Sarah wonders the crowd searching for her missing mother.

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  • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    There’s the twist M Night Shyamalan wishes he could still pull off.

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• theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  If only anyone had the courage to portray the CIA as the villains they are.

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  • pr06lefs@lemmy.ml ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Check out the movie “Sicario”

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  • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The Bourne trilogy, The Report, The Looming Tower.

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• cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  When is superman off copyright? Not too long after mickey mouse, right?

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  • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Superman was first published in 1938. He’ll enter the public domain in 2034.

    However, the only things going into the public domain then are the first year of Superman comics, which didn’t include some key aspects of the Superman mythos. For instance, while it was established in the first issue that Superman came from a destroyed planet, it didn’t tell us anything about that planet; we saw it blow up in the first panel but we didn’t get its name or see any of its people. That would be added in the newspaper comics, which would start in 1939 (so they wouldn’t be in the public domain until 2035.)

    Likewise, we don’t see anything about Clark Kent’s childhood in the first year of the comics; that would be fleshed out in the novel The Adventures of Superman by George Lowther (one of the script-writers on the Superman radio series) in 1942, so it’ll be in the public domain in 2038.

    Superman also was just really strong, really fast and really tough in those first stories. He didn’t start using X-ray vision until 1939, he didn’t fly until 1941 and he didn’t have heat vision until 1961 (although he’d been performing heat vision-like feats with his X-ray vision for years prior to that.)

    Finally, while Clark Kent was a reporter from the beginning, his paper was originally called the Daily Star. It wouldn’t be known as the Daily Planet until 1940 (no in-universe explanation was given for the change; they just suddenly started calling it by a different name. Its editor also changed from being named George Taylor to Perry White, although aside from the name the characters were the same.)

    However, one foundational piece of Superman media is already in the public domain; the Fleischer/Famous Studios cartoons from the 1940s. Their owners didn’t file the paperwork to extend their copyright (back when that was necessary) so they’ve been in the public domain for decades. Up until now that didn’t mean much since Superman himself was still under copyright, but anything introduced in those cartoons such as the Mechanical Monsters (an army of giant robots that Superman fought in an early cartoon) or the Arctic Giant (basically Godzilla before Godzilla existed) would immediately be fair game. Arguably Superman’s flight was also introduced in those cartoons, but there are some earlier comics where it’s debatable whether or not he’s flying or just jumping with bad physics.

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    • cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Okay, so the only thing really missing is the x-ray vision. The whole point is that he’s under cover like the entire time, so he doesn’t necessarily need to fly.

      Could work.

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    • Hadriscus@jlai.lu ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      wow, loved that dive into duperman history

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    • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Would 1938 Superman be able to make a mini Superman in his palm?

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• pr06lefs@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Something like Clouseau vs the world’s assassins from the pink panther strikes again.

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• thebeardedpotato@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Damn it now I want to see this too lol

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• TachyonTele@piefed.social ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Along these lines, I really want a batman movie where he’s not the star, but a monster in the background hunting the protagonist.

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• Tollana1234567@lemmy.today ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  isnt thats what the suicide squad premise was about, waller was discussing how to take out superman, if he went bad.

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• _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Do a “The Joker” where it’s the joker in all but name, just call it “The Journalist”

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• P1k1e@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Does Clark Leave the country a lot? Figured he was a more domestic journalist based on absolutely nothing atall

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  • Quill7513@slrpnk.net ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    he’s a sports journalist! it’s Louis Lane the CIA would try to take down. Clark Kent keeps his journalistic ambitions low so no one pays too much mind. he then feeds scoops to Louis and Jimmy Olsen

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    • Mist101@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Good ol’ Louey!

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKt75jUuKJY

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