I wish people didn’t hyperfixate on labels so much these days. I feel like it causes more problems than it solves in terms of creating an identity someone needs to stick to instead of letting people just be themselves.
What is my sexuality if I’m exclusively attracted to traditionally feminine people, regardless of whether they are male or female?
Submitted 21 hours ago by MrHamza@lemm.ee to [deleted]
Comments
steeznson@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Agreed.
The desire to subdivide ourselves appears to have been very beneficial to the ruling class in many ways.
Godric@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Agreed, fuck who you like and who wants to fuck you, why must something as complex and messy as your slice of humanity be categorized?
HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 21 hours ago
Probably bisexual, but you’ve got a type.
pleasegoaway@lemm.ee 17 hours ago
Yeah. Let’s not overcomplicate it. They’re bi with a preference for femininity.
AllHailTheSheep@sh.itjust.works 7 hours ago
labels are useless last a certain point. you’re you and that’s all that matters.
if you absolutely need to pick a label (for a doctor’s form or whatever) bi would be what I would choose since what they’re really asking there is what genders do you sleep with.
SphereofWreckening@ttrpg.network 18 hours ago
If you’re looking for a technical term, you would fall under gynosexual. But even with the term: only you can truly define your own sexuality.
twice_hatch@midwest.social 9 hours ago
Yeah gynosexual or gynephilic is how I describe myself
Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Normal.
my_hat_stinks@programming.dev 21 hours ago
Fuck that, you’re implying any other orientation is abnormal.
lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
i get what you’re trying to say, but maybe the poster was trying to be inclusive. being attracted to feminine people regardless of genitalia is not what most bigots would consider normal. my answer to the question “is it normal to be attracted to x” is “yes”, provided that x is a human person old enough to consent. in my opinion, it is also normal to not be attracted to anything. i am using normal in the value-judgement sense, not in the statistical sense.
Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Is there a secret, hidden insult in that comment that only you can see? Is it in the room with us right now?
glimse@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
This reminds me of that Tumblr post about how the left is so focused on “never being wrong” and how the in-fighting about the most irrelevant shit holds us back
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 hours ago
Are you implying that something else would be abnormal?
dumblederp@aussie.zone 17 hours ago
They probably mean it more in the sense of common, regular, standard or majority. If I say I’m a normal bloke happy with my gender, I’m not trying to shit on trans people, I’m just talking about myself.
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Sounds like bi with a femme preference
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 hours ago
I’d say I generally lean the same way, and I consider myself bi.
Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
I think trying to define it is fairly pointless. We love what we love and we lust what we lust. Rather than defining it, I wish we could all just accept that and stop hating people for having different preferences.
angrystego@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Yep, but sometimes you want to communicate about your preferences, and then you need understandable terminology. Giving names to phenomena is generally useful. Discussing things is useful. Understanding natural diversity is great and important.
Boddhisatva@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Fair point but I’m not sure that naming every permutation is possible. We might be better off trying to make do with charts or something.
trolololol@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Yep. We don’t give names for people who like red and their second favourite colour is yellow.
Just be yourself, be kind to others and move on.
Character_Locked@lemm.ee 8 hours ago
There’s also ‘neptunic’, which sounds like what you’re describing, plus attraction to androgyny.
IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 hours ago
nagaram@startrek.website 16 hours ago
That feels cursed as a fandom dot com wiki
IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
Yeah, lgbt being a fandom sounds super phobic. Just looked up gynesexual on a search engine and copied the first link that had a definition.
bishbosh@lemm.ee 14 hours ago
This was the term I’ve heard, but damn does it sound terfy…
cactusupyourbutt@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
probably because it sounds close to gynophilia
11111one11111@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
Fucked if I know the new terms but for my entire 20+ years of sexually active life, you would be classified as bi. But like I said or implied, Im old as fuck and have no clue what the currently accepted term may be. If I need to know the new sexuality/gender terms then im fucking a woman who is way too young than I should be fucking with. Thats a statement of the types of people who live in my area and not a blanket statement that no older individuals use current sexuality identities.
recently_Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
Sapphic, perhaps.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 hours ago
Finsexual: Usually refers to a person who is attracted to femininity regardless of a person’s gender identity. Is sometimes considered more inclusive than Gynesexual (as the prefix “gyne” focuses on female anatomy).
morphballganon@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Depending on your gender you’re heteroflexible or homoflexible
pupbiru@aussie.zone 10 hours ago
which are 2 types of bi
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Labels exist to describe what is. You don’t need to fit neatly into a category. You like who you like, and you shouldn’t apologize for it.
11111one11111@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
My condolences. He died too soon.
tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 20 hours ago
Holt talking about thigh gap is hilarious.
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
“There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.”
angrystego@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
Of course you don’t have to fit a box. But it’s easier to communicate your preferences if there is a lable you can use for yourself. OP is trying to find out if there is such a shortcut they could use. Explaining that they don’t necessarily need to do that is not helpful.
themeatbridge@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Sure, but it’s also helpful to know that there aren’t labels for everything, nor do we need labels for everything. Really, the only person you need to communicate your preferences to is the person you prefer. In my (admittedly limited) experience, romantic partners don’t want to be reduced to a subset of their attractive physical features. “I like you” is generally sufficient, and it’s not really anybody else’s business what you like or don’t like. We’re conditioned to try to label ourselves, and I would argue that it is unhealthy reinforcing that conditioning by inventing new labels.
OP could describe themselves as bi or pan or omni, but none of those are the sum total of OP’s lived experience. We should describe ourselves, not define ourselves.
11111one11111@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Oh fuck you! I was not prepared to learn one of my favorite sitcom characters is dead. Fuck me, now I gotta Google how he passed.I’m
fabsecretpowers@lemmynsfw.com 18 hours ago
I’m assuming you’re male? If so, this sounds like an exact description of my sexuality. If someone really wants specifics, I usually just say “I like femmes/femininity” or “I’m not into mascs.” But 99% of the time I just say I’m straight. Seems accurate enough to me
vxx@lemmy.world 19 hours ago
Obviously you’re a feminist /s
Nemo@slrpnk.net 20 hours ago
sounds like labels just aren’t that useful to you
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 20 hours ago
Labels are not currently 100% fixed, there’s still some blurry edges around the newer terms, and older ones are shifting. Sometimes they shift faster than a given person can track.
With that disclaimer, it’s possible that would fall under the bi or pan sexual labels. Depending on who you ask, that can be and/or instead of just or.
Bi covers it well, because it’s an attraction to both men and women, and doesn’t specify how they present.
You could fall into the omnisexual rather than pan or bi, as omni is generally considered to be for people that do care about gender, but without a specific preference; while pan generally indicates a lack of concern about gender at all.
However, there is also gynosexuality. Thing is it gets used in two different ways, only one of which fits your description. One usage is really close; an attraction to people that present as feminine. But, the other usage is that you’re attracted to women, which includes anyone that identifies as a woman, but wouldn’t include those that identify as men, while expressing traditionally feminine presentation. So there’s a degree of conflict there, making it difficult to express one’s sexuality with that label in discussions about attraction.
Not that picking a label really defines you or limits you. They’re essentially just there to make matchmaking easier, and for general discussion.
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 hours ago
Finsexual, from what I understand, is a newer term meant to replace gynesexual’s dual meaning, in that it means that you’re attracted to femininity regardless of gender identity or biological sex.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
That’s one I hadn’t run across before!
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 20 hours ago
Could be bi/pan with a preference/type, or gynesexuality/gynephilia.
Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 21 hours ago
Pansexual or straight but curious. Honestly just depends on what you’re more comfortable with.
MrHamza@lemm.ee 21 hours ago
I was talking to my Emirati parents about this, and they said I’m just a manwhore…
fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 hours ago
That checks out.
Drekaridill@feddit.is 20 hours ago
Gynosexual? I would say I fit into this category as well, but I just say I’m bi with a female preference.
november@lemmy.vg 17 hours ago
You’re bi and you have a type.
twice_hatch@midwest.social 9 hours ago
idk I don’t wanna call myself bi cause I’m not into most men I’ve ever met, I don’t wanna mislead people
Foreigner@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
You’re heteroflexible?
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 9 hours ago
The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren’t LGBTQ, she finds “lesbian” is the most effective label to communicate, even though it’s a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that’s okay too.
That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought “bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don’t want to call myself bi”, that’s fine. Labels like “bi” can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn’t neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you’re not obligated to divulge this freely.
mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 hours ago
Image
JakenVeina@lemm.ee 8 hours ago
Neither are more gay men and straight women.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 11 hours ago
I love this answer. It’s perfect.
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
That’s me