Submitted 11 hours ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/08c7dc9a-c9de-4f9b-ab04-69803f877ea0.jpeg
Stole it off of reddit
Two weeks ago, I saw the loner at the table of an event. Went to go talk to them because they were alone for a while.
In less than 10 minutes, they made a offensive joke that would have insulted half the people here, and complained about their living situation unprompted.
Idk why in imagining them telling a version of the aristocrat’s and then saying, “So anyway, that’s my roommates.”
Now I want to know the joke
The guy made a comment about women and minorities about if I was just trying to meet a DEI quota.
He said this to me, a person of color, at a tech event where according to the census, 60% of Engineers are white.
I used to be the guy that knew everyone, introducing my friends to others, and others to others.
These days, I have maybe 2 friends.
The good friends I once had believe everything they see on Facebook.
I just couldn’t anymore.
Algorithmic social media just ruins everything. Once twitter and facebook started pulling out all the stops to keep us on their sites instead of letting us use them as a starting point to connect and/or simply augment our existing irl relationships.
not to brag, but i’ve graduated from not befriending friendless people to driving away friended people who try to be friends with me
less people, less drama
*fewer
Fewer would only be used in this case if drama was plural. Fewer dramas vs less drama
It’s the risk you take. I’ve met some of the most interesting people this way. If you go into it with an open mind and understand that usually it’s not going to work out, you’ll be better for it.
Happened to me a few years ago, started in a new office and one of the guys seemed cool so we talked more frequently. Ended up helping him get the apartment upstairs from me because his lease was expiring and carpooled to work. That’s when the clinginess started, couldn’t go half a day without him always texting or calling over stupid shit and borderline unhinged behaviors. I distanced myself real quick from him. The final straw was when he had asked what “village” my girlfriend was from in Brazil, then doubled down when I called him out for assuming she was from some uncontacted Amazonian tribe. “Well you havent been there yet so you don’t know lol” yeah ok fuck you, dude. Haven’t talked to him since, even though he still lives upstairs.
Anxiety sucks, or is there different reasons why I don’t have irl friends?
Domain checks out
Anxiety can give you fog brain so your real thoughts/wit doesn’t show through.
Tried and true way past it is some light drinking!
There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Too many of them deserve it.
I had a brilliant idea for a app during college. It connected self-identified lonely nerds with other self-identified lonely nerds. Like “Oh you like anime, here is this other guy, and here are five events you can attend together.” I was hoping for that Zuckerberg money if this app was a hit.
I ran it through a test trial with a dozen pairings of them in my college campus to see if it had value.
And yeah, a lot of the feedback was that the other person was kind of annoying/intolerable. Which was funny when both of them said that about each other.
Can relate; have friend who I somewhat wish I never met
Just start pretending that you don’t know him. Just me like “how are you?”
yeah, I’m the person 🙈
nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 9 hours ago
IDK man, the people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple. People with a lot of friends are often worse people, manipulative and/or have a transactional attitude to relationships
Bubs@lemm.ee 36 minutes ago
*Raises hand*
doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 8 hours ago
Idk man, the people with no friends and the people with a lot of friends and even the people with a middle amount of friends seem to follow a standard distribution of personalities.
Some awkward people and some charismatic people just suck. Some awkward people and some charismatic people are awesome. But most of all, people are just kinda shades of in-between.
dingus@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Yeah I don’t think it’s really fair for anyone to be generalizing people over the number of friends they have. There are shitty and no shitty people in both camps.
dingus@lemmy.world 3 hours ago
Yeah I’d like to think I’m not a bad person. I just have intense social anxiety. The only way I’ve made friends are when chatty people tend to talk to me and invite me to things. I’ve always appreciated when people do this, but then I just don’t retain the friendship when I’ve moved across the country or when we’ve moved into different life stages. I’m fortunate enough to have a friend now who is just nice and talks to me. Prior to that I didn’t have anyone for a while outside of my online friends. Some of us are really just terrified of other human beings is all.
possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
Just be chill
I rarely do anything with people I know. I’m not a super social person and I tend to keep to myself. I tend to hang with people that I either know very well or that I work do something with.
3dogsinatrenchcoat@slrpnk.net 6 hours ago
When I was in high school there was only one kid with no friends and he was racist
possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 hour ago
At least he wasn’t the popular kid
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 4 hours ago
Same. It was in the Tennessee suburbs so there was actually a lot of racism, but dude was like, Klan level racist, and that’s just rude.
danhab99@programming.dev 8 hours ago
And when it’s not any of those cases then that person has a horrible pattern of behavior. I’ve learned this lesson way too hard.