Asshole: no.
Misguided: yes.
His reaction isn’t unreasonable. Misplaced well intentioned actions likely will not end as intended. Ultimately, she didn’t get it. She misunderstood what he loved about the guitar.
Is Anon the asshole?
Submitted 2 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/fb9dbccf-6c5d-47e0-8ec7-75799aac39be.png
Comments
zigmus64@lemmy.world 2 days ago
cRazi_man@europe.pub 1 day ago
The whole idea of “surprises” is complete bullshit. Social media has really over romanticised this to an extreme. When my wife gets a present, it costs quite a lot. I’m not going to take a chance of judging her taste, pick a brand I know nothing about and try to guess what she would like. We’ve got an agreement that we pick our own presents and make our plans together. No surprises bullshit. Might be boring by social media standards, but it’s the best I can do.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 1 day ago
The modern western version of “gifts” is really about pushing over-consumption. If marketers cannot convince you to buy something yourself, they can try to convince someone else to buy it for you.
I’ve always felt that gifts should be tokens. Symbols of good will, reminders of the relationship. Consumable gifts are great, especially when shared with the giver. Alcohol is great for this, but there’s plenty more you can do. Small, inexpensive art prints or figurines.
I don’t want someone else to buy me something I woukd want to research myself. My parents gave me a “snow thrower” for Christmas a couple years ago. Its a relatively cheap, Ryobi 40v thing- I do not own anything else that uses that battery ecosystem. My step-dad loves his, and I am it is great for their 2-car driveway, but my driveway can probably fit like 10 cars in it, and I would have rather saved up for something nicer myself. Now i’m in this weird limbo where I feel socially obligated to use it for several years at least before I replace it with something I actually want.
brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
My fiance literally sent me the ring she wanted for our engagement.
Surprises suck, communication rocks!
prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 1 day ago
There are plenty of kinds of surprise that can be wonderful in the right context. Perhaps easiest is when someone tells you they want/would like something, you keep an eye out for opportunities, and surprise them when it comes around. (My wife wanted to see a comedian. I subscribed to their newsletter, and then got (refundable) tickets when they were performing near us, years later.) There can also be things that you are confident someone else will like, which they don’t know exist. (I bought a friend a battery operated pruner after seeing him struggle to keep up with bushes.) Or small things that someone likes (flowers, chocolate, breakfast in bed, depends a lot on what they are into).
The guitar repair was the worst kind of surprise: something irreversible, which the surprisee clearly knew about, and has chosen not to do at every single opportunity - while the surpriser doesn’t know why they are choosing not to. That’s not respectful, which is the absolute minimum requirement for a surprise to work.
protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
I don’t understand this insane fixation that society has with gifts being “surprises”, I find to so annoying, sometimes it even ends up being worse than not giving anything at all the gift is genuinely useless.
One particularly bad case in experience of a surprise gift for me, was when my mom decided to surprise me with a computer as gift, specially since this is a significal finnancial burden, one of which could have been partially relifed by letting me choose and pick parts, but even though we had an agreement to let me pick the parts she just decided randomly to buy a prebuilt instead without notifying me at all, when I was extremely angry at her for this and when I questioned her horrible decision, she said: “I just wanted you to have a happy surprise” and tried to make emotionally guilty trip me when I didn’t show any thankfulness for the gift with: “Why don’t you love me? I do everyrhing for you”
Why? do people assume that I want a surprise? why is this idea so ingrained into people’s brain that when I ask to simply give tge money one would have spent instead in buying the gift, that is seen somehow as rude, what is so rude about trying make the most out of the money would’ve been spent into a worthless sock I didn’t ask nor need?
charokol@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
His reaction seems to be to pout and not explain what his problem is. If he could communicate, OP might not have to turn to the internet to find out what they did wrong
xeno_the_warrior_prince@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
asshole: yes. Maybe he enjoyed the fact he fixed it himself and didn’t want anyone else to fix it. She decided getting it to look whatever she considered good was more important than whatever he felt was good about it.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
I kind of have a hard time imagining such a thing being done with sincerely good intentions, how many people would really do that? Easy to imagine it as a way to exercise power over someone with a plausible pretense though.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
This is projection
Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
Yeah, you don’t fuck with shit a person is that attached to because you think it “looks rough”
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Clearly a professional agreed that it didn’t just look rough, the shit was damaged
M137@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Firstly, they’ll repair and/or make any guitar look better. It’s their job so they’ll do it. Secondly and more importantly, it isn’t about if the guitar is damaged or not. It was clearly loved for what it was, it was probably more about the history of it than anything else.
It’s really not hard to not fuck with other peoples stuff without their consent. And it’s real sad that people like you exist that don’t seem to understand that.JeSuisUnHombre@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
There’s not enough context here to say that with any certainty. If husband was playing it and enjoying it, then it’s doing the job it needs to. Even if it was actually broken and actually fixed, it still changes the relationship between player and instrument and could’ve easily taken away earned character as a way to make it look “nice”
bstix@feddit.dk 1 day ago
sachamato@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
Ecce homo will always make me laugh. Check the mugshot pic of the lady author. Hilarious!
liking625@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
The key is “he loves it. I take from him without h knowing”, whyyyy?
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 2 days ago
fake: 4chan poster has a husband
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Gay: 4chan poster has a husband
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 day ago
I for one don’t like people touching my shit. Especially shot that I’ve already put effort into myself. Ask first before you do something like that.
GraniteM@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 20 hours ago
There’s an entire section of the article titled “maintenance”, he apparently does get it regularly repaired
bstix@feddit.dk 1 day ago
This guitar has lived a full life. It even has its own wikipedia page.
snoons@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
There’s a video of it getting “repaired” out there somewhere.
FrChazzz@lemmus.org 1 day ago
The obsession I have with Trigger…
I love that Willie, a very rich man, still plays THIS guitar and only this guitar. Like, you go to concerts and there’s a guitar tech grabbing different instruments off stage, swapping them out. But ol’ Willie just up there with bus up Trigger looking like she’s about to collapse into splinters. But she produces such a unique sound that no other guitar can match.
nousername@lemmus.org 1 day ago
Depends how it was “fixed” If the pro tuned it to make it sound perfect that’s great. But probably anon got the damage repaired, taking away its charm and character. Of course anon doesn’t even know the difference between these two things.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 20 hours ago
For $200 they probably didn’t change much
RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Do you play?
Wakmrow@lemmy.world 1 day ago
You’re all over this thread and you’re a jackass.
Yeah I play. Yeah I had the shittiest beat up guitar when I was in my youth. I took it all over the world because I didn’t care what happened to it. Loved it while I had it and if someone had “fixed it”, that would have destroyed what it was to me, jackass.
And yeah now I have “better” guitars and I don’t have that 25$ guitar anymore.
Knoxvomica@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Bassist here, I want my bass to sound fucking dirty, fuck the pro fix up. I do it myself and I have since high school. get. fucked.
chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Oof, this is a rough one. While I appreciate the gesture, that’s a personal thing. That’s like taking someone’s favorite pair of jeans and getting them hemmed because they’d frayed at the heel. Sometimes the wear and tear is what we value.
baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 2 days ago
It’s like taking someone’s tried and true Windows 7 machine and upgrading it to Windows 11.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
No, that’s nothing at all like a repair, that’s a downgrade
protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
some poorly done repairs can be a downgrade
jnod4@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Worse, if somebody took your 64gb of ram Linux Thinkpad and gave you a chrome book
purplemonkeymad@programming.dev 1 day ago
At this point machines that can run windows 7 and those that run windows 11 don’t overlap. So yea, would be annoying to install something that won’t run at all.
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 2 days ago
God damn, yeah, you are unfortunately.
Dettweiler42@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
A worn appearance is often desired on old guitars. In some cases, it can even increase its value.
That, and the OP probably did what would be considered finishing someone’s puzzle for them.
jimerson@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Currently in the market for a vintage and, while I agree with your sentiment, unless the guitar’s name is Trigger I’ve only seen prices drop with wear and tear.
Dettweiler42@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
It’s very situational. Cracks and dings? No good. Natural checkering from age on an old acoustic? Higher value.
Aqarius@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Doesn’t Fender sell pre-worn guitars for a premium?
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
If you have to ask the internet if you are an asshole then it’s either because you are definitely an asshole, or because you are karma farming - in which case, you are an asshole.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 day ago
the AITA on reddit is one of it’s most popular things, and lots of people farm content from it.
because people love judging the shit out of other people and explaining how awful they are. or justifying their assholery.
it’s arm chair quarter backing other people’s relationship drama.
cosmos8188@leminal.space 1 day ago
Narcissists feeding on other narcissists. Reddit was full of those people, and Lemmy also has them.
DonkeyStar@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Plus there are podcasts that use those subs for content, so people submit their “creative” writing to see if they can get featured.
Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Electric guitars are little more than a piece of wood, metal strings, and a transducer. For a lot of musicians what matters most is the sentimental value of their model. What she did was basically rob the owner of that.
schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I never really understood paying a lot of money for an electric; I mean, unless it’s an archtop, it really is just the sum of its parts.
RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
What exactly do you think was altered and stolen exactly?
gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Can you shut up please
RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Reading the comments…is there one actual guitar player here? Does anyone know what the fuck actually goes into setting the intonation and adjusting the action of the strings?
And people talking about permanent changes they could have made…what possible changes are getting done for 200…the proper parts alone would cost at least half of that and no one is doing work in a shop for free.
So presumably she had it set up which means strings were changed, intonation was properly setup and the action was adjusted with a truss rod check and some feet polishing.
If he’s pissed the intonation is correct hes just a shitty player.
P1k1e@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Or he liked that it was his guitar that he salvaged with his own hands.
RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Tell me you’ve never played with out telling me you’ve never played
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 19 hours ago
He didn’t “salvage” jack shit he was dumpster diving in high school
thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I think it’s an overall change. I have a very solid latitude laptop I recovered when work upgraded our systems. It’s beat to hell, but it’s very reliable and I use the hell out of it. I’m not afraid of it getting scratched or dropped, it’s worn in and I love it. Wouldn’t trade it or get it “repaired” for anything.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I fucking hate people who think they are ‘helping’ me or ‘fixing’ things for me.
They tend to be condescending assholes who think they know better.
Like no, bitch, I know what I like and I have chosen this deliberately.
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Or the people who refer to everything as cheap just because it’s not “expensive”. I know people who are so fucking condescending because according to them everything else is cheap. Ok, you have an expensive ass Thermador fridge…whose ice machine hasn’t worked in 6 years. Wow, those certainly is an expensive LG dryer…that you need to leave the door open on because its drainage is shit and will get musty and grow mildew if the door is closed. Nice new Volvo, with all the LaTeSt SaFeTy FeAtUrEs while you still refuse to even look at the backup camera and still manage to hit curbs.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I have a newer LG washing machine in my house. It smells like the sewage line is backing up into it … which I know it isn’t because it free-drains into a utility sink.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 20 hours ago
Throwing therapy in there with teslas and $1000 knives does not help your credibility
leaky_shower_thought@feddit.nl 2 days ago
anon:
congratulations, you’re being rescuedguitar: “…”
anon:
please do not resistHikermick@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Is Anon George Lucas?
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Depends what “fix” means, but if you didn’t get ripped off for $200, yes.
Getting it professionally tuned isn’t unreasonable imo, especially if the neck/pegs are misaligned, but in no world should that cost $200 (and don’t try to fix a misalignment).
Once you start making changes that can’t be undone, you’ve crossed the line. Get it tuned, get a nice strap (with mounting hardware, if needed), get a polishing kit or nicer case, hell, even get a replacement bridge/pegs and tools for working with a guitar, but don’t make permanent changes yourself (or have anyone else do so). All of those together could be well over $200, but you’d describe that as a tuneup and buying accessories, not taking the guitar “to a pro to fix it.”
Caveat that some people don’t like non-musicians or anyone else even touching their instruments, but I’d like to think that would be obvious to a spouse, even one who might have assumed that permanent changes to an instrument they don’t own are okay.
I’m a non-musician and my husband has a somewhat beaten up, but favored instrument that he learned on, so I’ll send this to him to see if my instinct is right (for my relationship, which does not mean it would be right for anyone else).
Though tbf, even thinking it might be okay, I got my husband a new instrument instead of messing with his beloved one, just because it occurred to me that he might react like the husband in the OP, and I didn’t want to risk it. Of course, he could also have then felt guilty about using the new one because it’s not the one he loves and felt guilty about using the old one because I gifted him a “nicer” one. I was lucky in that he’d already branched out into related instruments and the new one could fill a new niche, so wouldn’t compete with the old, making me less worried about him feeling conflicted [I’m so sorry about that sentence, I’m imagining trying to structure it in German without nominalizing any of the clauses and… woof].
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I sent him the green text, and apparently he offered to fix a friend’s instrument in the past and got an earful. He would have been fine with me getting his old one fixed up, but he’s happy to have the new one
Jimbo@pawb.social 2 days ago
Yep. Literally all anon had to do was talk to him about it first. Communication is so fucking important. I would know because a lack of it was what ended my almost decade long relationship. Talk to your fucking partners, even if it’s uncomfortable in the moment. If you don’t you will be MUCH more uncomfortable later when everything explodes.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 days ago
Yeah, absolutely. If you took something that I painted (I can’t paint, fwiw) and had it touched up, fuck you.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
He didn’t make this guitar, he found it, and it was damaged
bstix@feddit.dk 1 day ago
It says that he salvaged and repaired himself.
Dirk@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: yes, but longer.
rounding_error@lemmy.today 2 days ago
Unpopular opinion but no.
victorz@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yeah okay, how about I fixed your rounding error, huh? Huh?!
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
You’re right, if there was actual damage to repair and it still plays afterward the husband is just being a petulant little shit
pH3ra@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 days ago
As a guitar player, you get so much used to how the instrument feels in your hand while you play it that even something that should make it better ends up making it feeling worse.
That said, if the husband really loved that guitar the way it was, he could have brought it back to the luthier, have them undo their job. Stop playing it altogether was his decision and acting like that seems like a “punishment” for their spouse. That would be childish and borderline toxic behavior.
lightnsfw@reddthat.com 1 day ago
Maybe he’s not doing it as a punishment. Maybe the spark is just gone now that it’s not “his” anymore.
pH3ra@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
As I already said, a guitar tech can bring it back to its original state for free or a small fee in a matter of minutes. If you refuse to play it instead then its on you.
Soulcreator@programming.dev 1 day ago
As a fellow guitar player I’m not certain why this is being down voted so hard? Guitars are made to be modified, so anything that was done can be undone.
The interesting thing is that the wife said she only spent $200 bucks to get the guitar repair. Your mileage may vary, but in my neck of the woods $200 doesn’t get you too much in the way of a repair. They would probably offer to give your guitar a ‘setup’ and a new pack of strings, near me that would cost around $100, maybe a little more. So whatever else they fixed couldn’t have been too invasive, possibly new tuning pegs or resolved any wiring issues?
Everything there can be undone, a setup is the hardest as it would change the feel of the guitar. For the most part the ‘feel’, really only comes down to string height or ‘action’. That’s a quick fix for a guitar tech if brought back to the shop, hell a motivated amateur could probably probably figure out how to make that adjustment with a screwdriver and a Google search.
All that said I totally understand how the ‘magic’ of a guitar can easily be lost in the hands of a well intentioned but misguided guitar tech.
Bo7a@piefed.ca 1 day ago
Repeating myself from a previous comment:
And if the road-earned patina is now shine? and the scratches are now filled with wood glue under a glued on pick guard? and the peg that came off that old banjo they found in the middle of a gig 20 years ago has been replaced with a brand new set. And the notch on the edging where steve’s girlfriend slammed a nazi in the face at the same party where sabrina fucked that idiot from the ska band and got pregnant?
pH3ra@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Yeah probably the wife went to the guitar tech and asked “can you please make this better” and they gave it the classic fret leveling and crowning for a lower action and probably not much more for 200$. But the downvote mob already picked its side in this story so I’m not even gonna bother correcting them.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
Flip a coin, you might get a positive or negative reaction depending on how you frame it.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Nope, it was damaged and she got it fixed. Husband sucks and probably couldn’t play for shit anyway.
Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Imagine bringing your kids drawings to a professional painter to get them “fixed”.
Wife didn’t see the real value of the guitar and ruined it, she made an asshole move.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
Imagine your kid fishing someone else’s abandoned painting out of the trash, halfway un-crumpling it and taking it home, then getting mad at you for smoothing it the rest of the way out and framing it for them. The wife was right, the husband is a petulant shit, you and your hypothetical children are dumb as dirt.
GeneralEmergency@lemmy.world 1 day ago
It literally mentions that the husband fixed it up.
Seriously though you’re way too invested into a fake story.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
It also mentions that a professional fixed it up, and the husband was not that professional, so he probably also did a dogshit job at that.
This is projection on your part, calm down
k0e3@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Don’t fuck with people’s shit without asking wtf. Life isn’t like TV, not every surprise is going to be appreciated.