“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking… We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight… By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Aeroplane
Submitted 1 month ago by themaninblack@lemmy.world to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/b933cfe2-dd8c-4774-8969-78084b4ed054.jpeg
Comments
takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
cosmictrickster@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Fly? Yes.
Land? No.
Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 1 month ago
“That’s not flying, that’s falling with style!”
SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 1 month ago
Land: probably
Survivable: probably not
TheBat@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Me playing GTA.
AtariDump@lemmy.world 1 month ago
AtariDump@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Surely you can’t be serious.
Railing5132@lemmy.world 1 month ago
It’s big and white with a red stripe - it’s like a big Tylenol!
saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 1 month ago
All I need is “Danger Zone” playing and some aviator sunglasses.
Reiea@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Used to do code for those sims. Funny things is, you can ignore like 90% of the stuff in there in there cuz most of it has an auto setting.
mlg@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Me flipping on reverse thrust and parking brake before touching the ground in FSX because I’m like 100 kts above the landing speed
PugJesus@piefed.social 1 month ago
thank
Lembot_0005@lemy.lol 1 month ago
This is the detalization I need when I meet some new machinery which I understand the working principles and already worked with something similar.
Dave@lemmy.nz 1 month ago
If it has autopilot and autobrakes, surely all those other buttons aren’t needed?
AtariDump@lemmy.world 1 month ago
They are needed, and don’t call me Shirley.
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I like pleasure spiked with pain so yeah
klemptor@startrek.website 1 month ago
That motherfucker’s always spiked with pain
Railing5132@lemmy.world 1 month ago
It’s my aeroplane
drath@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Instructions unclear, I’ve pulled and turned the red thingies with “1” and “2” and “APU” written on them, now it says “Airspeed low” and the the steering wheel is shaking. What do I do now, please send instructions urgently.
LookBehindYouNowAndThen@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Push it.
Twist it.
Bop it.
BambiDiego@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I’m about to have dinner, but I’ll be back as soon as I’m done, I swearsies
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Ok, first take a deep breath and calm down. Airspeed low is a good thing, you need to take this slowly! If the shaking of the steering wheel bugs you too much, they are adjustable, you just need to push it away from you.
Now one of the biggest dangers to planes flown randomly around the sky is other planes, so you need to get on the radio with air traffic control and request permission to crash and they can give you a clear vector from your current position to a suitable crash site.
If you’re lucky, there will be a nearby deserted island, in which case surviving the crash will make a much more interesting story than a plane crashing on a deserted island and everyone dying (or maybe the island will be purgatory or something and you really did die, or maybe purgatory will be a version where you didn’t crash… Be prepared to be very confused, especially since you won’t get to see any of the flashbacks that gives context to everyone who will lie about everything, even stupid shit like miraculously being able to walk again or other things that would be cool to talk about).
Oh, that is unless you’re one of the few adults on a plane full of kids, in which case, sorry, you’re fucked.
ByteJunk@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Pff.
Just caption an Airbus. Assuming you’re in flight, you just need the buttons to engage cat III auto landing, make wings bigger, make wheels stick out, and brakes after you land.
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 1 month ago
There’s no way you wouldn’t be diverted to an airport that doesn’t require a Cat III landing, even a IIIA is stupid dangerous for a trained crew. Like iirc you only have a 1-2 second correction window for any III landing where the ILS cuts out, compared to something like 8-10 for a II (which is plenty of time for an amateur that’s been coached on the procedure to do a missed landing then give it back to the autopilot, that’s super easy)
Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
I like your funny words, flying person. Keep 'em coming.
OpenStars@piefed.social 1 month ago
Keep plane in sky, above the ground (unless you meant to), check!✈️
CatAssTrophy@safest.space 1 month ago
Do a barrel roll!
OpenStars@piefed.social 1 month ago
Or simply aim at the ground and miss :-P
hakunawazo@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Just don’t learn flying from Colonel Stuart (Die Hard 2).
AtariDump@lemmy.world 1 month ago
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Super important to know where the radio is, cause I’m gonna want to listen to some nice chill songs while I soar through the air towards certain death cause I don’t know how to fly a plane but the guy behind me kept kicking my chair so I yelled “If you don’t stop kicking my chair, I swear to god, I am turning this plane around!” and he didn’t stop so I had to do it to save face.
jaschen306@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I know how to drive sick. I got this. /s
tetris11@feddit.uk 1 month ago
Dejavu theme intensifies
hanke@feddit.nu 1 month ago
Saving this. Might come in handy some day.
cosmicpancake@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Cute meme, but also wildly irresponsible. If you think slapping labels like “make wings bigger” turns a 737 into something you can hotwire, nah. Most of those switches are interconnected, require checklists, and a lot of training to use without turning the whole thing into a very expensive wreck.
Also, stealing planes is illegal and deadly, not a punchline. If you actually want to fly, take lessons and get certified. Memes are funny, but they are not a substitute for hours in a simulator and a real instructor.
themaninblack@lemmy.world 1 month ago
You know what? You’re absolutely right.
People: please leave flying 737s to trained experts with the know-how, FAA licensure, and medical clearance. They know better than you even if you think you can do it from a meme.
It’s very important that you not touch ANY of the buttons and dials on a 737. People could get hurt or even die if you do.
Elgenzay@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
You just saved countless lives by clarifying this🙏🙏🙏 (i was about to steal one)
balsoft@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Chill, it’s just a shitpost.
BTW, a regular person can likely fly and land a 737 with some basic ATC instructions, there have been multiple experiments demonstrating this (in a simulator). A guide like this would be immensely helpful in that situation.
Warl0k3@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Set autopilot to fly approach -> activate ILS. Besides the radio there’s essentially no other controls you would need to touch in an emergency, and it’s very easy (by design) for the tower to talk you through the settings to do that. This meme is more than enough to familiarize you with the basic control locations in case you need to make an adjustment based off tower instructions, but at the same time buddy chill TF out it’s a meme.
raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world 1 month ago
If it’s a newer 737, it is already a very expensive wreck.
chunes@lemmy.world 1 month ago
What does “make wings bigger” actually do?
Railing5132@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Extends the flaps, i.e. makes the chord of the wing longer making it able to be more effective at lower airspeed. (takeoff and landing).
The flaps are retracted at cruise to make the wing more efficient at cruise.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Music is my aeroplane.
Smeagol666@mander.xyz 1 month ago
It’s my aeroplane.
Songbird sweet and sour Jane,
And music is my aeroplane,
It’s my aeroplane.
Zerush@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Soon there are self flying AI Airplanes
icelimit@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Which one’s the seat warmer?
balsoft@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Few additions:
Wren@lemmy.today 1 month ago
How could they forget the foot pedals? That’s a whole axis and objectively the most fun controls on the plane.
adding:
balsoft@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
Yeah, the foot pedals and IAS indicator are glaring omissions. I guess they really just want you to fly with autopilot and autothrust, but good fucking luck setting up autoland without prior experience.
mkwt@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Some more practical tips.
balsoft@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
I’m pretty sure on newer 737s the autopilot disconnects when it detects a sufficient physical force on the yoke. But yeah the button is easier and safer.
Wren@lemmy.today 1 month ago
How tempting is it to push all the buttons all the time?
kungen@feddit.nu 1 month ago
Bold of you to assume we’re landing this in a controlled fashion.
balsoft@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
It’s more as a reminder to NOT engage reverse thrust while in the air.
HK65@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
Doesn’t the 737 have toe brakes?
whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
you have to remove your shoes for those?