Submitted 2 days ago by misterdoctor@lemmy.world to [deleted]
easy self-check for these things:
is it OK for group A to do X? is it OK for group B to do X? …
if the answer is not the same for all the groups you can reasonably think of, something about your morals is off.
not everyone will agree whether X is OK to do. but at least you can detect, whether you are biased yourself.
A bit of nuance would go a long way to not generalize things here…
It’s okay for toddlers to attend daycare. It is not okay for race jockeys to attend daycare.
Guess I need to check my biases.
Easy self-check on these comments:
Does the poster have a name like “TOXIC WASTE”?
If so, seek advice elsewhere
I did this accidentally the other day.
This discussion reminds me of a party/orgy/something I saw being promoted and in the description it says that it was female/trans oriented (female and male trans included), but that they weren’t going to police anyone’s gender, but asked cis males to respect and didn’t participate.
You see this more in LGBTQ+ communities, they are all about inclusion, but when a hetero sis male wants to be included they aren’t the biggest fan of it. As long as they don’t discriminate it’s fine, but still ironic
You are beeing very vague in what you describe so I wil be as well. If that means I’m talking about something else I’m sory. As a cis guy the way I understand it is, that some spaces meant for internal discussion about problems that are unique to LGBTQ+ people in order to share experience and advice where most people who are not part of the group can’t say anything since they aren’t affected. Since that is most people hetero peple are not welcome there in general for simplicity’s sake. Those spaces are not meant as an Information desk and they don’t have to be one since there are other spaces on the internet that can act as that. No one should have to be forced to be an information provider for something they are born with. The same as no blind person is obligated to answer your questions about their condition.
It’s not ironic at all. I’m guessing you have never been in a setting that would have benefitted from such a policy.
I don’t find it too difficult to comprehend why it’s useful to have spaces where minority-focused topics are discussed by everyone, alongside other spaces where the same topics are discussed primarily by the minority in question. Not if you understand what the words “minority” and “majority” mean anyway.
I too have made this mistake 😔
gonna be honest, I don’t read the sidebar for 99% of subs that pop up in the all feed. Hell, I didn’t even check what sub I’m in now until halfway through typing this comment.
this is a trap
No, no, this is bait
It’s like an all you can block misogynists fest! 👐
No, this is Patrick!
fuck that bullshit. while they do have the right to exclude who they want, i have the right to be harshly critical. and i will say that any community where one is compelled to disclose any part of their identity as a requirement to participate is a toxic one. i suspect any account is subject to being pressured into proving they aren’t a man if the mods want to harass someone that way. this is why i am not and will never be a feminist in a million years.
You had a point, than you killed it with the unrelated last sentence lol.
this is why i am not and will never be a feminist in a million years.
while i get your sentiment, there’s a lot of difference between feminism as it’s practiced today and feminism as it should be.
i do think that females are superior creatures and deserve all the admiration and respect
but the way it’s currently implemented is horseshit bullshit. it revolves too much around mocking men and creating an artificial and unnecessary schism in society instead of making sure that everybody can lead a good life, including strong social safety nets (economically) and advocating for things that benefit everyone.
The way i see it, the right to free speech is a two-sided thing. If there’s a right to free speech for one side, there’s also a right not to listen for the other side. It’s ok to block a community to not have to see their content if you’re not allowed to talk back at them.
Honestly, excluding any gender from commenting on the public internet is fucking braindead stupid. Also - how do they define “woman”?
you can read the rules and sidebar on !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
Anyone who claims to be?
Which is… ?
what makes it “braindead stupid”?
Kinda hilarious how the most cis dude thing possible is to joke about becoming trans to gain the privileges of a woman.
What?? How’d you get that from this meme? I wasn’t saying that at all!
Wasn’t coming after you, I think I meant to write this under someone else who was. Little distracted, my b
I tbh only know several trans women making this kind of joke /shrug
I’m a trans guy and I joke about how I’m only doing it to not get talked over in meetings so this rings plausible.
This is like the least cis dude thing I can think of
Im a dude who posts on femcels a lot because i like the memes. but I kinda like dick so iono i think i get a pass?
Oh no :(
I pardon you for respecting the rule o7 (wish some other people would do that too, it happens way to often that people post their kinda shitty opinions in the comments)
You are the kind of person that makes a no men rule necessary.
A lot of them found this thread which is fun because that’s exactly who I made it for
We must treat oppressors and oppressed the same all the time in order to be fair. I’m a very smart person.
We must treat all members of a majority group as oppressors. I am very intelligent.
Damn, lotta moid seething itt
so can we get a community for whites only?
What a horribly stupid question to ask.
Women and minority only spaces exist because white men as a group have historically discriminated against them, including by having men only and even whites only spaces. That kind of history never goes away really, because bigotry is frequently handed down from generation to generation even if some people are able to break the trend.
Source: am white man who can acknowledge reality without feeling guilty for being part of the group that does those things
~white~ men as a group
Unless you are suggesting women have not being discriminated in non-white communities?
Being a man can be anything you want and you chose…this.
not sure if you noticed. this is a shitpost. so I chose to be a piece of shit.
enjoy that little kernel from my nugget.
here comes the welcome wagon!
are the last of the woke derangement syndrome sufferers on Lemmy??
no, they perforate the bowels of the internet like colorectal cancer and feed off the shitposts that you have found yourself in.
Stupid expectation to have. If they want women posts/comments only, lemmy needs a feature for communities not to be advertised on the main page unless subscribed, to keep people from accidentally replying. Or does that feature exist and they are intentionally not using it?
Im not gonna adjust my behavior you should adjust your expectations
least entitled male
that would make discovery of the sub by women way harder
Oh crap!
I checked, and I’ve made one comment there (deleted by mods). Sorry XD
Easy to miss when it pops up in the all feed every so often. If you’re not paying attention you might just do it.
Not a big deal, it’s more meant towards preventing the "As a man … " comments that pile on to tell women why they’re wrong
Me too. Didn’t know the rule. Also that sexist. But hell as man Askwomen on Reddit would delete a post if made by a man.
Any space that is publicly available is a public space.
That goes for the internet, too.
Segregation does not lead to good things.
If it is bad for incels to form men only spaces that inevitably will lead to their bigoted rhetoric being unchecked and validated, then it is bad for any other group to do that based on sex, gender, or race.
It is public, youre right. That’s why anyone can post to it. The rule is if you admit to not being a woman, you get banned.
I personally shy away from the idea of binary labels. Whenever you have two opposing extremes, I find hard to believe that someone can be the 100% embodiment of one and 0% of the other. Whether it’s ‘authoritarian/libertarian’, ‘left/right’, ‘straight/gay’, ‘neurotypical/neurodivergent’, or dare I say, ‘male/female’, I see all of these as a spectrum. Whenever binary opposites exist, I believe we all fall somewhere in the middle.
To say that someone is 0% man or 0% woman seems to reinforce the idea that these labels are based on physical characteristics, concrete, and/or absolute. If you believe that personal identity is fluid, and that change is constant, then how can you reckon with the idea of someone being 100% either? It won’t be possible to swing upward passed 100%, so the only other option is down; into the gray area and constantly wavering over time.
As for myself, I might have been born with a penis, but have plenty of characteristics that I would not consider “manly.” I strongly prefer to sit on a toilet to rather than use a urinal, I’ve worn a skirt around my home and fantasized about having breasts and beautiful hair, and my Spotify wrapped from last year classified me as a “pink Pilates princess”. I’m absolutely not presenting these to declare myself a woman, but I suspect each of these admissions would diminish my standing as “man”, especially in a non-anonymous environment.
If anyone was ever unsure about their gender identity, experimenting, or just non-committal to a binary gender assignment, I can see how a having another individual assign this black/white classification on them (and banning them as a consequence) would be incredibly stressful and harmful to their wellbeing. With how gray gender identity can be, it is no surprise if someone in this mindset doesn’t push back with a claim of the opposite binary choice; the sex on their birth certificate. I believe this kind of moderation serves to reinforce conservative societal norms and discourage empathy across the gender spectrum.
🫡
I pulled a ban commenting before I knew they were in full echo chamber mode. Nothing of value has been lost. The whole thing though begs the question are there men only places on lemmy? So I can block them as well.
Oh ffs, I thought that rule only applied to posts and comments going “as a man…”. God damn it, I was just trying to make sure my perspective isn’t echo-chambered and my one or two comments there were appropriate and being supportive to the women who participate there.
Mia culpa I guess, mods of that sub feel free to go and delete my comments in that sub if they violated the rule because I’ll leave it up to your judgement to decide.
I just came here to say it’s a men’s world they live in it and many times they hate us for it, but it’s the truth.
Yeah, they can be real mean in their locker talk
What if I identify as both?
I think I remember that post and said you're correct.
I am pretty disappointed eh. For obvious reasons.
Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 1 day ago
I’m just here for the bruised male egos. I’m male, and I find the but what do you mean I’m not welcome there comments entertaining.
I’m with you, OP: they shouldn’t have to restrict their visibility to avoid a demographic they don’t want to have in their community. Women should have a space to talk to women only, if they so desire. Those complaining about it need to realize that places where men are not welcome exist in the real world, and yet there aren’t a bunch of dudes protesting to be allowed into a women’s change room at the Rec center.
socsa@piefed.social 1 day ago
So the main reason why I vocally support feminist and lgbt causes is obviously because it is always the right time to do what is right. But a close second motivation is because I genuinely enjoy seeing how much the "no step on snek" crowd hates it when anyone else tells them to mind their own fucking business.
LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de 1 day ago
Its like attending a big fair and there are thousands of open stages for public discussions. Each stage hosts one of many different topics. A single one (!) of these stages is “fenale-speakers only”. And these neckbeards are throwing a tantrum that this single stage is a safe space for women.
As a straight white cis-man I feel ashamed when seeing other men acting like this.
loudwhisper@infosec.pub 1 day ago
It’s more like that stage only allows women participants. But the stage example doesn’t work well because a forum is not a stage.
Either way, I take issue with the idea that a male participation makes a space inherently unsafe. You didn’t say it explicitly, but you kinda implied it.
I think this is not only false, but it’s divisive and it’s a terrible narrative to build that harms cohesion in the face of class struggle.
UpperBroccoli@feddit.org 23 hours ago
That’s not even the case, they just don’t want us to participate actively.
Badabinski@kbin.earth 1 day ago
Fucking exactly. Like, I blocked the community because I almost posted there several times without realizing. I didn't want to make extra work for the mods there, so I hit the block button. That's it, that's all it takes. The community should be public so women can easily find it. Blocking a community isn't an inherently negative thing, you should block stuff that isn't relevant to you. If you're good at remembering that you shouldn't post there and like to read the posts, then don't block it.
Would people be as upset if it was a community for gay men? I obviously can't know, but I don't think there'd be this much furor. Why is this so emotionally challenging for some people to accept? I can guess, but I won't do so here.