My experience is that all upset people love to be told to calm down. 😉
Calm down
Submitted 3 weeks ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to [deleted]
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Comments
sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
The most incendiary 2-word phrase in the English language.
It’s belittling and aggressive and dismissive all at once.
Even saying something as similar as “get a grip, man!” has a much better chance of success.
loomy@lemy.lol 3 weeks ago
calm down, it’s not that incendiary.
Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Sometimes people do need to calm down though
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
So use any one of the multitudinous other phrases available in English to actually HELP them become calmer or less agitated. Respond to the facts of the individual situation instead. “He’s not worth it.” “You’re better than this/you have been doing so much better, don’t let this set you back.” “You’re in a bad trip man, gonna have to ride it out as easy as you can.” “Chill, dude.” “Take a deep breath.” (This may be followed by one loud long scream, but that’s cathartic and may be followed by rational behavior)
Nobody, no matter how much they need to get control over their emotions and behavior, needs to “calm down”.
Demdaru@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Found worse by accident. “Chill”. Just, nothing more.
I really have to keep watvh on myself to not use it…it was my default…
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Personally I would still prefer to hear chill, maybe you stumbled on that person’s trigger. Or perhaps it’s an age thing. I associate it with peers, but maybe for them it’s parents.
Tyr_Raidho_Othala@reddthat.com 3 weeks ago
How bout you chill and calm down?
ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
My Anger is Just AND RIGHTEOUS! NOBODY TELLS ME TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN UNTIL I DO!
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Clam down.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
It is. You’re absolutely right. But right now nobody’s seeing anything but the 50-Foot Tall Woman, so they can’t think about your logic. Maybe see if swinging one more of those Marines into the fence will be enough to help you get control of your rage. No actually better use the Mayor, he’s an insufferable prick.
Jarix@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
TIL I am a woman
Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Happy Pride. Or Wraith as the case may be.
Jarix@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Happy pride! Don’t know what wraith is, but it sounds bad ass so thanks for that roo!
ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
It’s usually the person who’s screwing you over in the first place who tells you to calm down about it.
Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
instead of “calm down” why not say “learn better coping techniques to handle my gaslighting, because it annoys me”
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Thanks I’ll try this!
Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com 3 weeks ago
Oh and “calm your tits” is a phrase only to be used when someone involuntarily starts lactating
captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
when my cat is being a little too impatient while I’m givong her her dinner, I tell her to calm all six of her tits. hasn’t worked once but I find it funny.
hark@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I AM CALM!!
Cypher@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
He said like Dumbledore
answersplease77@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“relax” is one of the banned words I cannot use with my wife. If she was shouting about something and I said the word “relax”, it would start a fight probably leading to divorce
MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
That sounds kind of abusive, ngl
TwistedCister@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Listen to the woman John!
Calm down! Just calm down!
ebolapie@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think Abraham Lincoln’s head just did that.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
The only person I’ve had this reaction from was a genx man yelling that he wasn’t being emotional but instead logical. Said man did the standard co.plain about wife and say women are emotional, and also argued that animal abuse shouldn’t be punishable by law because animals don’t have souls.
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Don’t see how this equates to animals but I’m just a guy that grew up with 4 women in the house who were given everything they wanted and still complained while I got the bare minimum and wasn’t allowed to show any emotion.
Normally I’d just say this is a me issue due to my upbringing but all my life experience shows the same thing over and over. Women are allowed to be over emotional whenever they want and it’s accepted. A guy gets over emotional once and he’s labeled a problem for the rest of his life.
Madison420@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Calm down boss, you sound like you need to smile more often.
1984@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Emotionally mature women do calm down. It just depends on the level of trust she has in what you say.
If you are known to her as someone she trusts and listens to, then she will consider if you are right and start to calm down if she thinks you are.
But it depends a bit on age and maturity and life experiences and all sorts of things.
HorreC@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Thats not fair at all, you ever see a dude wanting to fight and you tell him to calm down. I think telling pissed people to cool out just fires them up.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
Tell them to get angrier and short circuit them instead.
Cypher@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Bonus points if you’re completely uninvolved and just walking past an argument.
HorreC@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I wonder if that would work, like you just start getting mad at them for how half hearted they are about the whole thing. Start saying ‘if you are only going to be 10% tough about this shit you should just sit down’
sundray@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
“Pop off, motherfucker, I DARE you!”
*POW*
FooBarrington@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, the only way that I’ve found really works is to use “I” statements.
saltesc@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, I feel like there’s rarely a “calm down” window for the men that need to hear it. There’s calm, then there’s hurting themselves by breaking things or hurting other people. “You need to calm the fuck down!” is likely to work, whereas “You need to calm down” will only make things work.
Insecurities fuelled by testosterone. Where fisty cuffing anything appears to be a positive step toward sound resolution.
sundray@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
“We’re gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what’s Fonzie like?”
HorreC@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think you are right I think a lot of men just have a snapping line, where they will bottle it all up till they pop and if they would have just not bottled they could have been spun down a bit.
Seleni@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
How it works
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
ALWAYS. A. RELEVANT. XKCD!!!
sundray@lemmus.org 3 weeks ago
For some reason big guys LOVE telling little guys to calm down – even if they’re not really mad 😡 .
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
The physical inequality, just like OP’s example, always makes it more egregious.
HorreC@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
you know I think its all the knight bullshit a lot of males feel. Like hey man calm down this shit isnt worth it, but at the same time its only the bigger then you guys that will say it as the ones the same size are like man I dont wanna get punched or become the focus. But this is just a hot take on the idea.