Comments

• Bojack411@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Im sure his side of the story isn’t warped to make himself seem like a saint and her a bitch. 👍

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  • balderdash9@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    It’s /b, the whole thing is probably made up

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    • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      And it’s actually not a wife but a husband.

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    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      B- but… But what about the points???

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  • Doom@ttrpg.network ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I just got out of a relationship and holy fuck that shit is infuriating. Everyone’s gotta side curious what happened here.

    Also are you the horse from Bojack Horseman? I’m literally watching S1E6 right now.

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    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      What is this, a crossover episode?

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  • JasSmith@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Everyone has a side but every man has dated a woman who did something just like this. More than once.

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    • rockerface@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Is this “every man” in the room with us right now?

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• McLoud@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.

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  • ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn’t I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.

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    • droporain@lemmynsfw.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Ouch he was too dumb to have “something come up and cancel too.” Your better off I suppose.

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  • Raiderkev@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Fr, she wasn’t going to no 5k. She had other plans.

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  • superduperpirate@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Because I’m procrastinating at work:

    How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?

    Estimates:

    • average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
    • average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)

    Calculations

    • thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
    • coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus

    So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.

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    • discostjohn@programming.dev ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times

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    • LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.

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    • Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.

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  • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    He wanted that for both of them.

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      He signed both of them up for it

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  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Anon is jealous

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• OmegaCloud@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  If true the wife probably wanted some alone time with her boyfriend and her husband ruined it.

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• Aggravationstation@feddit.uk ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Why would OP’s wife not just sign herself up if she was going to run? Or realise something was off when her partner told her that they’d done it for her. “Hello, I’d like to sign my wife up for this run. Oh no, I won’t be participating myself.” Feels kind of weird. But this a 4chan post so can’t possibly be fake or gay.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Fake: OP can barely get from the chair to the bathroom, no way they’re running anywhere.

    Gay: OP’s “wife” is a their regular pizza delivery person, which is a dude. The friendly banter at the door got weird quick.

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• Meissnerscorpsucle@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  if it where true, it would be because she is planning to run with her boyfriend.

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  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    run

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• viscacha@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  How to people marry each other when the can‘t even communicate?

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  • LouNeko@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    A: People who never experienced it fear loneliness more than they fear death.

    B: People change over time, the person you married might not be the same person in 10 years.

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  • MNByChoice@midwest.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Apparently, a lot.

    It is weird interacting with those couples too. Sometimes they just play a role with their spouse and have to get away from them to be themselves.

    They are as miserable as it sounds.

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  • spacecadet@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Women are shitty communicators. I tell my wife this all the time. Just because you are talking doesn’t mean you are communicating. Men created TCP, women created UDP network protocols.

    Communication requires two parties to understand and come to a consensus, most women are making announcements, not communicating.

    Also, women tend to think they are more emotionally mature than men, but are generally significantly stunted in their emotional development. Flip the script, how do you think his wife would have reacted if he called her fat and then talked about a 5k then cried and threw a fit when she signed up? Most men would have been happy and excited, but most men wouldn’t have also gotten past calling their wife fat without a divorce.

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    • papalonian@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Mmk. Mmk.

      Now picture this: the OP is full of shit and has altered the story beyond recognition to get dumbasses like you to agree that wamen r bad.

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• therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Should have married a guy instead instead of a woman

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  • mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    They already did and this post is fake af

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    • spankmonkey@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Odds are high that is it fake but it is absolutely based on a true story. Might have been a husband wanting to do a 5k or a canoe trip or something else instead of a wife, but I’ve known plenty of people who get pissy when their significant other wants to ‘intrude’ on their hobby.

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  • Rin@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    The amount of times i wish i was gay is unreal.

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• AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This is 4chan so the story is prob missing that their in an active divorce or some shit 💀

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• Reddfugee42@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  🚩 RUN AWAY 🚩

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  • OmegaLemmy@discuss.online ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    They would be running but the wife doesn’t want to!

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• NastyNative@mander.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Umm yeah very irregular behavior!

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• RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  She can’t run for shit, I’d bet. She wasn’t running anywhere except to her side piece’s house. Point was to be away, the excuse was the 5k.

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• PieMePlenty@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Anon fucked up. Anon should have known not to sign themselves up. 100% anons fault.

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