Submitted 11 months ago by _number8_@lemmy.world to [deleted]
didn’t we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how ‘everyone thinks women are hot’ so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?
like as a guy i don’t even…have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all
Trans woman here, and I can say from first hand experience that hormones change sexual response and desire. I’m guessing (and only guessing) that that is at least a part of the reason.
I know my own experience changed and i vocalise more, but even I can’t tell you why.
You know I’ve never really thought about it until now, but besides the hormones helping your body match who you are, do the hormones change anything mentally? I assume no personality changes, but I’ve wondered if things like senses, pain, temperature tolerance etc. change.
Oh goddess does the temperature tolerance change. Turns out the fat distribution matters a lot for that!
Also yeah there's a line in the first altered carbon book about how for men, skin is armor, and for women, a sensory organ, and it's a little exaggerated, but it's pointing at a real thing.
Re personality: that's harder to judge, because you have so much going on. It's a major change in your life, you're altering how you and the world interact with each other, so it would be hard to avoid your personality going through a rock to mud transition and shifting, but I think there's definitely some shift towards social responsibility, yeah. Obviously there isn't an exact measurement, but I think it's pretty common.
Skin sensitivity, smell, taste, posture, temperature tolerance, it can all change!
Cis, but I’ve heard that MtF typically your vision becomes more sensitive to color differences, and FtM it becomes more sensitive to shapes and outlines.
I know for MtF the temperature tolerance goes down because of physical changes. I’m sure the hormones change things mentally, whether you’re aware of it or not. They’re a big change.
Ftm guys say the same thing as you about sex after transitioning though, so I'm pretty sure this just boils down to sex being more fun when you're on the right hormones and don't hate your body.
So personality changes in the same way antidepressants have them. But yeah the rest absolutely. I became more scent over vision, increased pain tolerance relative to mental state (but happy has way less physical pain tolerance than dead inside so it’s not necessarily an increase), and everything is too damn cold
Trans man, I would say I vocalize more now that I’m T but that might just have to do with my life circumstances significantly improving at the same time, so I tend use my voice more often in general.
I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don't need to stop after you cum.
As a straight male, I too have fingers and a mouth
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth. At least I can have multiple orgasms. Suck it, penis-owners!
The problem is more that cumming is the goal for many guys.
I may won’t last long when penetrating, but we still have fun for hours before and after it.
And I think that’s a point about how to approach sex, not about sexual identity
Do what? Why would you have to stop for that long? Genuinely asking.
This is the funniest honesty I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you.
Dude, got a tip for you. Make some noise. She’ll love it.
She likes it when I do the Bob Ross voice
Any noise I make would be forced, and that’s just awkward for everybody.
Try it sometime, my wife loves it and I grew to not be shy about it. There is something about letting out moans and noises that makes sex so much better.
I started screaming. It’s basically a heavy metal concert in our room now.
Hell yeah, brother. Helps you get into that primal mode.
Because of this : en.wikipedia.org/…/Female_copulatory_vocalization…
Thank you for posting this. I knew a woman's orgasm had a purpose in insemination but vocalizations indicating the best time for male ejaculation makes sense.
And about a billion times more sense than some of the nonsense posted in thud thread.
A lot of that bs has been disproven. Orgasm plays next to no reproductive function (beyond, ya know, incentivising us to wanna bone)
Yo… That explains a particular something…
Get a load of all the people calling bullshit on my comment lmao. I'm amazed at all these 15 year olds refusing to believe the female sexual experience is anything other than some social construct that mEn forced upon the western world.
You should perhaps read the whole article. Recent studies have shown that just as likely women have other reasons to use their voice during sex. For example to boost their partners self-esteem, etc.
Please don’t just safe in your head “women moan to indicate best time for ejaculation” just because that fits your worldview best…
On the other hand, recent studies have indicated that most copulatory vocalizations in women do not accompany their own orgasm, but rather their partner’s ejaculation. The study showed that the man typically finds the woman’s vocalization arousing and highly exciting, and that the woman herself is aware of this.
Vocalizations can be used intentionally by women in order to boost the self-esteem of their partner and to cause quicker ejaculation.
Ha, name a woman that hasn’t done this to hurry along bad sex.
I’m just here for the wont
I are more want for the same reason.
You guys are all over thinking this. A lot. I’m pretty sure it’s because basically all porn has a very loud female role and a near silent men role. There’s been lots of studies on how porn affects people’s actual sex lives. Vocalization is a part of that. Girls watch it in formative years, learn “This must be what my partner will find hot,” just like tons of other emulated behavior from other media. Boys do the same.
my gf loves it when i make noise
Same reason dogs don’t bark when they chase the mail truck.
As a trans woman, I noticed it started happening fully unintentionally after HRT. It’s anecdotal, but makes me feel like there’s definitely a chemical component because it actually surprised me.
I wonder how much of that is placebo effect.
My honest guess is all of it
Because real men are silent and never express emotion. Especially in tender situations. Or so goes the meme.
Before I transitioned I was pretty much silent. Hormones affected that some, but I have to say I got way more vocal post-op. First time I got it in the vagina I was quite loud.
I think some of it is just what genitals people are rocking.
The classic answer is training. Guys tend to jack it a lot from a young age and train themselves to be quiet. Girls tend to masturbate less so less practise there.
I don’t think it’s purely that, because I don’t moan when I masturbate, but I do with a partner. I think it’s just about communicating what is good to your partner. I don’t have to communicate what spot is good to myself. I breathe heavier, but I don’t moan or say “right there” to myself.
Girls masturbate plenty and often start as children. I don't think that's what it comes down to.
Girls tend to masturbate less
Is this real? I don't see how it could possibly be real.
I for one have maybe done so 5 times in my 40 years of life and do not feel the urge to do so. Only times I did I was drunk or high and I don’t do that stuff. I rather just relax.
Start a bit later on average and run one out a bit less than guys. There’s a fair chuck of the female population that have never masturbated. Shocking I know
Don’t downvote me. I assure you I have very little impact on the female masturbation stats one way or the other
See moaning and panting and the softly whispered “fuuuuucky yes” more as a means of expressing arousal and excitement. My SO is fairly vocal (involuntarily, I love it), but I had to learn it first. It really feels good tho’, I suppose it depends on what your partner wants/likes?
Porn has done it for dozens of years at this point, and it has just become not only an expectation, but just a thing that gets picked up.
The reason men don’t moan during sex is the same reason why Gordon Freeman doesn’t talk, basically.
I don't know how I know the answer to this, and I'll try to keep it brief, but here goes:
This goes wayyyyyyy back into our past as human beings. Women largely vocalize more than men during sex as a way to signal to other males in the area that sex is happening and that they should join in. It's encouragement for the male, but it goes deeper (heh) than that - the human penis is quite large as far as body to dick ratio for animals goes, and there are two reasons for that; the head is designed to 'scoop' competing males' semen out with each thrust in preparation for replacing it with the dick-haver's own, while the longer shaft allows deeper penetration in order to scoop as much as possible.
So basically, when a woman moans loudly, it's signifying she's ready to go, and that the strongest male in a group will be the one to eventually impregnate her. It's literally a survival of the fittest mechanism.
Now obviously that isn't the reason for it these days, as we're all aware that our intelligence as a species makes sex a vastly more complex thing than it is for other animals at this point in our evolutionary path, but that's what researchers believe is the origin of sexy female noises.
I hate this theory and I highly doubt any women were involved with developing it.
Do you think they were busy moaning or?
… which makes no difference either way because science can be done without including any person of any particular gender.
I’d like to unscrew my eyeballs, put them in a hard bristle boot brush to remove the outer layer and then put them back in my sockets so I can be free of this comment. We moan because it feels good. If you want to try and go further perhaps because we haven’t been conditioned as much to suppress emotion. As to the shape of the head….if anything the shape would serve as a plug for the current male’s own sperm to prevent it from coming out. C’mom
I didn't just make this up, it's a legitimate hypothesis. Someone else posted a wiki link to it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations)
Not everything is some patriarchal social conditioning conspiracy, dude.
I never doubted it’s someone’s hypothesis, that doesn’t make it any less absurd
I grunt and moan to signify my effort and enjoyment.
I find myself trying to pay attention to how she responds.
@blahsay@lemmy.world is probably right about early conditioning for guys. But it can also change, and a lot of men are fairly vocal.
It’s conditioning by porn.
In my experience, if you don’t make sounds as a woman during sex, the guy will become insecure, ask what’s wrong, straight out demand you make some sounds or even bring out stories about previous sexual encounters with other women.
Also, some men moan a lot. I think it’s hot if it’s natural and not forced because a man’s voice is a turn-on.
Because they’re getting fucked.
I heard one hypothesis from evolutionary biology that it was a holdover from Paleolithic times. The woman’s noises were an invitation for the rest of the men in the tribe to join in. The shape and size of the human penis seemed designed to pump out previously deposited sperm. This being evidence of cave woman gang bangs. Granted, it might be a stretch to go from penis shape to the reason why women groan more, but it’s a possibility.
'Cave women gangbangs'
You can tell the men who came up with this idea were getting off on it.
Right? What evidence?
"The evidence being that it makes my pants feel funny when I think about it." - Some scientist, probably
Dunno about anyone else, but I really don’t feel much besides an emotional connection until the O. My vocal involvement is brief.
Men busy doing the actual work. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
y’all have TERRIBLE sex lives lmaoooooooooooo
just communicate with your partner
Well wayyy back in the day men knew they had to be quiet a lot since they were the ones out chasing food and hiding from tigers and shit. The females at the time would be in a safer area with the children. Maybe it’s survival instinct 😂
In case you are wondering about the downvotes: You are representing an extremely oversimplified and from what we know also wrong image of early humans. I suppose you meant to be funny, but this is something they probably teach at some schools and it is concerning.
Not gonna lose any sleep over it
ChexMax@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I’ve got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate “Yes that’s good, keep doing that”? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I’m letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don’t mind him being quiet at all, until I’m on top and then I’m like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud “is that good?” And then change something, “is that good?” After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he’s into it overall, but It’s really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn’t increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, “yes,” “please,” “right there,” “don’t move.” All kinds of stuff. It’s not just about making it hotter for the other person, it’s about communicating how good something is for you so they don’t have to do as much guessing
saltesc@lemmy.world 11 months ago
I just figured the guy’s concentrating on keeping up the good work without blowing it.
BluesF@feddit.uk 11 months ago
Yeah. I mean if he’s blowing it the she probably feels left out.
CapeWearingAeroplane@sopuli.xyz 11 months ago
I’ve also always thought it may have to do with social conditioning, but possibly on a non-sexual level. My thought is that guys are (generally) conditioned to be more quiet about intimate things, or things that are good, and more loud in “aggressive” situations. This fits well with the factual observation that men are less likely to talk about personal problems with a friend, and more likely to push the boundaries (be vocal) in an interview. In my head, it’s an extension of the “strong, silent” stereotype, which is often regarded as positive. Women, on the other hand, are (typically) socially conditioned to be more vocal about feelings in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if these conditionings bleed over into how vocal people are during sex.
With that said: I’m a guy, and my gf likes it when I make noises. Once I got used to it, I also learned to enjoy grunting. Grunting is highly recommended.