ada
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- Comment on Transitioning in STEM 43 minutes ago:
The opposite happened to me when I transitioned. When I was perceived as a guy, if I was in a meeting, people didn’t instantly fall silent if I spoke, but if they tried to overtalk me and I just kept speaking, they would eventually give way. I transitioned 8 years ago, and from the earliest days of my transition until now, if someone starts overtalking me, they will just keep doing it even if I don’t stop talking. The only way to stop them is to vocally call them out and ask them to be quiet until I’m finished.
Similarly, I used to be seen as one of the two “tech guys”. The person that people would come up to and ask for tech advice to avoid calling the internal helpdesk. After I transitioned, they started coming up to me and asking me where the other tech guy is.
My career has stalled since I came out. I’m in a trans inclusive country, in a trans inclusive workplace, and I transitioned so long ago, that most people don’t know that I’m trans or simply forget. But since coming out, the various shoulder taps in to project opportunities and the like just don’t happen anymore.
Maybe people went silent because they were fascinated by or fixated on the unusual timbre of the OP’s transitioned vocal cords.
It’s a nice theory, but it’s somewhat strange how my own experience as a trans person transitioning from male to female had the opposite impact. Did people start overtalking me because they were fascinated by my timbre?
Additionally, OP was in the same department for years and then transitioned. So, naturally people would approach a more experienced person for help or advice regardless of perceived sex if they knew that person was there longer than them.
Again, it’s a nice theory, but in my case, they stopped approaching me. And even the ones who don’t know that I’m trans don’t approach me that way, because I’m not seen as one of the “tech folk” anymore, despite not losing my experience when I transitioned.
but OP seems to be using the worst possible anecdotes
Similarly, you are using the least likely possibilities that contradict the first hand experience of folk directly in these scenarios to fit your pre-conceived notion of what is happening.
Yeah, the OPs post and mine are anecdotal, so you shouldn’t take either of our experiences as universal truths. But your takes aren’t even anecdotal. They’re suppositions.
- Comment on Which Lemmy instances have signups without registration? 5 days ago:
Instances that don’t have email approval, captcha or manual approval, tend to get defederated pretty quickly, because they attract spam bots
- Comment on How much are additional lemmy instances needed/wanted beyond what we have at present? 2 weeks ago:
just dicking around on my own for testing purposes.
Start with this, and if it gets traction, you can always move it to a more serious setup.
That’s pretty much what happened with this instance
- Comment on Are most people here left-wing? 2 weeks ago:
What in USA is considered “left” more-or-less align with what is considered left outside of USA
What is considered left in the USA is largely considered center or center right outside of the USA
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
You don’t “confirm” it. It’s an attempt to describe a system/outcome. It’s a model of a system, not the system itself and no model is perfect, because all models are our attempt to understand and describe things, and there is no such thing as perfect understanding.
However, it’s a highly accurate model, that explains things very well. So, either we will find that one day, we make a brand new, better model (this seems unlikely given the accuracy of the current model, but possible). Or, more likely, we continue to come to a better understanding of the system, and improve the model we use to describe it.
- Comment on Why are Maries Sues hated while Gary Stus are loved? 4 weeks ago:
I think this thread of replies largely denying it happens, or arguing as for why there’s a good reason that it happens should give you an idea why the issue happens in the first place.
- Comment on Chillin' out on the fire escape stairs 1 month ago:
That looks like a white tailed spider!
- Comment on What is the name of the sexuality of being into the opposite gender and willing to date the same gender but not finding anyone of the same gender attractive? 1 month ago:
I’m panromantic, but attracted to men, however I only date women. My partner is a woman :)
- Comment on What is the name of the sexuality of being into the opposite gender and willing to date the same gender but not finding anyone of the same gender attractive? 1 month ago:
I’m not the OP, but their question was pretty much describing me.
For me, it’s about intimacy. I value intimacy. Hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, sharing moments, laying on the couch together watching TV etc. Those are things that I don’t do with my friends, and aren’t things that I’m looking for from my friends.
Asexual folk have developed language that talks about the way they navigate similar situations. Sex averse, sex neutral and sex positive. So even though I’m not ace, the terms apply in a similar way to my relationships. Using these terms, I would describe myself as sex neutral. Which is to say that I don’t seek it out, and I don’t miss it. Yet, it’s also a very strong form of intimacy, which I value a great deal, and as an expression of intimacy, it’s very much something I’m happy to share with my partner.
- Comment on What is the name of the sexuality of being into the opposite gender and willing to date the same gender but not finding anyone of the same gender attractive? 1 month ago:
That’s pretty much me. I don’t really have a name for it. I just call myself queer, or sometimes panromantic.
- Comment on Why doesn't phones numbers have a "DNS" servet so we can just type in words like we do with the internet? 2 months ago:
Like a phone book?
- Comment on What's your "this is totally fine and I'm going to have a great time" FPS? 2 months ago:
It used to be 60Hz. Then I played at 144Hz. The change in responsiveness of the mouse converted me
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
No p zombies here!
- Comment on Meaning/implication of “you don’t have to do this” in this context? 2 months ago:
It means that the person you are talking to believes that you’re just making polite conversation because you’re uncomfortable with silence. They are letting you know that they would prefer you didn’t make conversation, because they prefer silence to idle chatter.
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
I have very good spatial awareness, but it’s non visual. I can navigate my way mentally through a spaxe and “feel” where the walls are without seeing them. I have a sense of how big something is compared to something else and where they are relative to each other in space, but all non visually.
And I can rotate objects in my mind and change my perspective around them, but all without any visual elements.
I can sense the mental cube, but I can’t see it. It has no colour, no texture etc. Imagine a sort of mental bat sonar?
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
No, I don’t get a sense of awe or beauty from reading things. I can appreciate when the folks I’m reading about experience those emotions, but I don’t feel them, because there is nothing to inspire them in me.
Which is why I tend to prefer books that go in to more depth about what people are thinking and feeling than books that go in to lots of visual detail
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
The words have no sound. No volume, no pitch. They’re word ideas not words. I don’t hear anything, I just understand the words.
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
I can think of words, I just don’t think I’m words. And when I think of a word I can run them together in a sentence. But they have no “sound”. They don’t have volume or pitch, they don’t sound like anyone, they’re just the idea of words. And because the words are after the fact, they don’t exist without me willing them in to existence. So no monologue in the way people describe it, and the idea of a conversation in my head doesn’t make sense. It would be more like writing a script for a conversation
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
Like most folk with aphantasia, I thought that people talking about “seeing things in their imagination” were just being dramatic and using common language. It never occurred to me that they could genuinely see things in their minds. And the whole thing where people would be upset when a character in a TV show or movie didn’t look like how they’d imagined they would look, never made sense to me. And shows where people could recall the details of peoples faces for police sketch artists…
Basically, moments like that started adding up over my life, and then about 10 years ago, I read an article from someone who had discovered they had aphantasia through a similar path, and it all just fell in to place.
- Comment on Who here does NOT have intrusive thoughts? 2 months ago:
I have aphantasia and no internal monologue, and a side benefit of that is that intrusive thoughts aren’t really a thing
- Comment on How to mute posts containing certain keywords on Lemmy? 2 months ago:
I know tesseract (an alternative front end) does. And I know that I’ve used mobile apps with that functionality before, but honestly, I don’t remember which ones had the feature and which ones didn’t, because I never used the feature, and these days, I even use tesseract on my phone.
- Comment on How to mute posts containing certain keywords on Lemmy? 2 months ago:
There are 3rd party apps and alternative Web front ends with that ability
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Some people are academically gifted. Your flatmates experience was similar to mine, except as well as acing the exams, I failed the written piece assignments that I couldn’t just throw together the day before they were due.
- Comment on Do you need to adjust your speedometer if you change the size of your tires? 2 months ago:
I had to when I changed the tyres on my ebike. The slick tyres were smaller diameter than the chunky off road fat tyres I had on there, and I had to tell it the new diameter so that it could correctly determine my speed.
- Comment on Forza Horizon 5 will be coming to PS5. Likely other xbox exclusives will too. 2 months ago:
For the most part, VR is a toy at this point. Interesting, but not compelling. The single exception I would say though, where it is genuinely transformational to gameplay rather than just gimmicky, is car/racing simulators and games. Most things, I can take or leave VR. But I can never play a racing sim again if it doesn’t have VR. But, even if it doesn’t come to Forza, it’s no big loss, as there are plenty of VR enabled alternatives out there (though mostly on PC to be fair)
- Comment on Forza Horizon 5 will be coming to PS5. Likely other xbox exclusives will too. 2 months ago:
I own Forza 5 on the Xbox, and GT7 on my PS5. Historically, I’ve preferred the Xbox over the Playstation, but my experience on GT7 with VR on the PS5 basically killed Forza 5 and the Xbox for me.
So if Forza 5 comes to PS5 with VR support, for me, this will be good news. But if it doesn’t come with VR support, I won’t bother.
And I guess, ultimately, it’s bad news either way, because I probably won’t be going back to the Xbox whatever they do.
- Comment on Permabanned from Reddit? 2 months ago:
The bans are AI driven, and the appeal responses are AI driven. You won’t find an explanation for why you were banned, because there was no human behind the ban
- Comment on People who live in hot climates, how do you deal with the heat? 2 months ago:
Layers are the thing I hate about the cold
- Comment on People who live in hot climates, how do you deal with the heat? 2 months ago:
I’d rather be blistering hot than wrapped up in layers and living inside stuffy heated buildings
- Comment on People who live in hot climates, how do you deal with the heat? 2 months ago:
I wonder the same thing about people who live in cold environments. I’ve never seen snow, and I know I won’t handle it, because I can’t handle single digit (Celsius) temperatures, let alone below 0…