Stories like these warm my heart so much
Anon's dad tries to bond
Submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/bff049bd-a3c6-425a-8e28-680c782fbb20.jpeg
Comments
cmbabul@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
whoisearth@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
As a dad now with a trans son I so get it. I’m blessed in I know who and what I am. I will never “get” what’s going on in his head or understand what trans is or any of that shit. But I love him, I want him happy and I will defend whatever he decides to be until the ends of the world.
Note to everyone and self I use he/him because in my simple brain he has a dick he’s a boy. Like me he doesn’t give a shit because we joke about the old meme “I identify as an attack helicopter” and I tell people my pronouns are “dumb/ass” or if I’m being a dick “she/him”
Digressions aside. If it doesn’t hurt anyone, and it makes someone happy, just let them be happy.
MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 2 months ago
I don’t know your kid or your relationship with them or anything, so I’m just speaking in generalities, but most trans people I know really appreciate being called by their preferred name and pronouns. If your kid is using certain pronouns with new people or with their friends that they are out to, it might be nice to give them a try. Maybe not, again I don’t know you both, but just because someone is willing to joke about pronouns doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t actually care about them. Seems like you really care for your kid and I’m sure that if they wanted to be referred to with new pronouns that you’d be able to figure it out. Wishing you both the best.
InputZero@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Yeah man you should really be using the pronouns your child wants you to use. I imagine that they have accepted that this is the best relationship they can have with you. They’re still your child and your unwavering support is important to building their self confidence regardless of whether they’re cisgender or transgender.
prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
How much effort does it take to not use he/him though? Are you sure they’re just saying they don’t care so you don’t feel bad about it?
I dunno, obviously I don’t know you or your kid and you seem to be handling it much better than many would… It just seems weird to be so ambivalent to something so fundamental about your child.
lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 months ago
…I’ll be honest.
You’re saying you’ll defend whatever she decides to be, but I don’t think you accept it yourself; that’s why you’re still treating your daughter as if she was a boy. It’s perfectly possible this actually hurts her, but she doesn’t complain because it’s complicated to complain about things towards your parents, specially before adulthood.
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
From someone that’s been there, try to work on that mental switch. Even if the kid sees you as an exception, and really doesn’t care if you don’t, it’s still a powerful thing to do it anyway. You can still crack jokes together and fuck around, but if you put in the effort to shift your language the rest of the time, it seriously uplifts someone that’s in the process of finding their path as their authentic self.
And yeah, it is true that a decent number of kids in particular (as opposed to folks that are transitioning as adults) don’t care about pronouns when their loved ones support them in every other way (or even just in most ways). They know some old fart has decades of brain patterns built up, and years of thinking of them as a given gender. They know it won’t happen overnight, and thus aren’t hurt by slips, or are hurt way less. But I’ve never met a trans kid that didn’t feel happy and loved by a close family member putting in the effort anyway.
I promise you, the worst that can happen from trying is you get razzed for fucking up
Cethin@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
How can you be sure they don’t care? Could it be, instead, that they know it’ll just be a pain in the ass to get you to do what they want, so they don’t bother even if it’d make them happier? They’re appeasing you so they can still have a relationship with you. You are refusing to appease them. Your child sounds more mature than you do.
piccolo@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
You claim apathy, but you put more efrort defending yourself then just being better toward you child.
I wont claim to know if it bothers your child to ‘joke’ about it. But have you ever asked?
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
If he didn’t just make fun of you to your face for liking the wrong things then he’s ahead of the dad curve
Rooster326@programming.dev 2 months ago
Like way, way ahead of the curve. How is this a thing to complain about?
Do they have any idea how most parents are?
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
I don’t think they’re complaining
Klanky@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
My dad never made fun of my interests and I do the same with my son. I can’t imagine doing that. My dad still keeps up with my son (his grandson’s interests) and will watch YouTube streamers and play Minecraft or whatever with him. 🙂
SaneMartigan@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I told my dad I was going to play board games with friends and he spelled out B-O-R-E-D and went on a rant about how much he hates board games and that they’re for losers. We haven’t spoken in about five years.
Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Sounds like you come from a line of good dads
AbKingPro@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Relatable sadly
These kind of things really messes you up in the long term. My dad was always making fun of me for liking video games and it took me a long time to get rid of the idea that whatever I was interested into was not boring/weird/unusual by default.
DickFiasco@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Same. I used to get made fun of for my music taste, sometimes just based on the band name or album art. Developed a habit of hiding my interests from my parents and feeling ashamed when they found anything non-mainstream of mine.
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 2 months ago
I mean, it may be intentional because ita a dad joke thing. Like calling them Nintendos.
EntirelyUnlovable@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Would it be Sailor Moons or Sailors Moon?
sbv@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Sailor Moonii
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 months ago
As opposed to the sailor moonies, which is what you get when the unification church decides to go full L Ron Hubbard
Killer@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Sailor moons because there is only one, the other girls have different names
adarza@piefed.ca 2 months ago
more than i ever got out of mine.
Eeyore_Syndrome@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Same-ies.
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
My old man never really understood the stuff I liked (Battletech, D&D, Magic, Star Trek) but he knew they were important to me and that I wasn’t unhealthy over them, and that was good enough for him.
Actually he managed to work Star Trek into the stuff he taught me like classical physics and quantum mechanics.
sploder@lemmy.world 2 months ago
This made me smile
amgine@lemmy.world 2 months ago
He knew those things to teach you but didn’t like Star Trek? Was he a Star Wars fan?
qarbone@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I don’t think Star Trek is very hard sci-fi.
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
No, he was a physicist. So he used examples of warp drive and time dilation along with why there is a Heisenberg compensator in the transporter.
OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 2 months ago
Honestly it makes me really sad how whenever I try to share anything I like with my family they always call it complicated and sometimes weird.
Grabthar@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Who’s Rem?
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Not ram I guess
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
Of course not. No one can afford ram.
SoupBrick@pawb.social 2 months ago
RE:Zero
Thassodar@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I just caught up after nearly a decade and this season is like: AAAAAAAAAH
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Resident Evil Zero for the Gamecube?
KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus 2 months ago
https://breezewiki.com/rezero/wiki/Rem
AstroLightz@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I’m pretty sure that’s just someone’s fanfic character. I’ve never seen them before.
MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
Image