Either the world is ending or Chuck Norris tried to self harm. There’s no other explanation.
+++BREAKING NEWS+++ he dead now
Pretty sure this is one of the harbingers of the apocalypse...
Submitted 2 weeks ago by rosco385@lemmy.wtf to [deleted]
https://lemmy.wtf/pictrs/image/7cbc0ad4-5adc-4bf1-b09d-2b698814fd7d.png
Comments
Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
US Healthcare FTW!! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Damn the only thing that could kill Chuck Norris was US healthcare all along
VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
Looks like the medical emergency had a Chuck Norris in the end.
db2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Earlier Chuck I would be more concerned. Like Meatloaf it will be more of a relief that he can’t fuck up any longer.
DrFunkenstein@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Wait drop the tea about Clapton killing a child
db2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
His son, fell out the window, like 56 floors.
I’m going to take that part back though, I had been told he was high and neglect caused it which doesn’t seem to be true. His son ran toward a floor to ceiling window that didn’t have a window in it.
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Let’s not forget Van Morrison in this discussion!
db2@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Wow, he went from goofy to full on nuts. But for every Van Morrison there’s also a Neil Young, or that’s what I choose to believe anyway.
LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Yeah right, the only way he’s going down is if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, RoboCop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S Preston, Theodor Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris and his cowboy ass.
benderbeerman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Man, that would be the bloodiest battle the world ever seen
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
That fight would rage on for a century and claim many lives
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
more like found dead in his bed in a pile of his shit. A fitting end.
undeffeined@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
He dead
LaserTurboShark69@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Oh fuck
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
And Dangermouse and Bananaman and Roger Ramjet.
SirBucksworth@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
You mean the hospital has been rushed to Chuck Norris
CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
hellfire103@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris doesn’t suffer medical emergencies: medical emergencies suffer Chuck Norris.
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
God, I can’t wait for Chuck Norris to die just so the stupid ‘jokes’ will too.
ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Surely the jokes died like 15 years ago?
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
They’re not that dead, you can smell their stench in this thread
BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Lol, not even sorry.
Rot in piss chuckles.
SharkAttak@kbin.melroy.org 2 weeks ago
I would've gladly traded Norris for Trump. Anyone got a monkey paw?
thisisbutaname@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
Well, he did
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Quick quick mention Donald Trump
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Honestly, yeah Trump another one I’d love to see die, because it won’t be long before the outhouse opens and he gets the respect he deserves.
AA5B@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris won’t have died, he’ll have found another realm to dominate
Oodlenoodlenoo@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
I’m imagining he’s in an isekai rn
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Has jokes about being unkillable
Dies
DeadDigger@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris will never die, nazis seem to respawn
gravitas@pie.gravitywell.xyz 2 weeks ago
Is the hospital okay?
Evotech@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
He looked great for 86
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris isn’t a harbinger of the apocalypse, he is the apocalypse.
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep.
He waits.
6stringringer@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Jumbie@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Imagine if Chuck goes before his god, Dotard.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
…and finds out she’s black…
1984@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
The injury decided to stop existing when it realized who it was attacking.
WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
There’s flirting with death and then there’s just teasing it.
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
This aged well
Vinylraupe@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Damn is he Donald Trumps arch enemy? The size of the hands…
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Quite the opposite, he was a Trump supporter.
realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 2 weeks ago
Which probably surprises noone, considering his entire career was about being the manly, conservative texan.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
no hes a BIG FAN OF TRUMP
Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Has anyone asked AI if this is real?
greenbit@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
It’s said that the lizards can’t survive in the new world atmosphere
YoFrodo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Chuck Norris is a POS. Hes a massive outspoken bigot. The chuck norris jokes are lame now because he has become the joke. What a fucking loser.
rosco385@lemmy.wtf 2 weeks ago
My brother in Christ, we’re in the shitpost sub.
YoFrodo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Its still a post glazing a bigot
athatet@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
And you certainly did post shit. GG I suppose.
teslekova@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Under Chuck Morris’s racism is another fist! And it’s up Trump’s ass!
Passerby6497@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
More like another tongue
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I upvoted all of these comments.
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
100%!
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
his whole persona is a being a " conservative Texan" cant get anymore obvious than that
hellfire103@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
That’s part of the reason we’re making Chuck Norris jokes instead of sympathising one iota. May as well have some fun.