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When the pizza party is too expensive, you go with the EncourageMint

⁨1508⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨mp3@lemmy.ca⁩ to ⁨mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world⁩

https://lemmy.ca/pictrs/image/6936d649-6065-4371-bdad-c849389b763e.png

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Comments

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  • DeathbringerThoctar@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Way back before Scott Adams went completely off the deep end I had a tin of Dilbert branded mints called Encourage Mints. This is literally a joke from the hackiest office comic ever yet some manager(s) still thought it was good idea. WTF does business school teach?

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    • jplate8@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Company making millions due to its workers efforts, while rewarding them with practically nothing? Sounds like business school is teaching capitalism perfectly.

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      • ryathal@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        They aren’t teaching psychology in them. Stupid “gifts” like these are a net negative. You are so much better off giving nothing than a crappy gift.

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      • dadGPT@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        what a disappointMINT.

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    • ininewcrow@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They should just attach a turbine to Karl Marx’s coffin … his spinning could probably supply enough power for all of Western Europe.

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    • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      As far as I can tell, business school teaches people how to enthusiastically participate in the capitalist circlejerk. That’s kinda it.

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  • thefartographer@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    OP is a goddamn liar and is trying to spread misinformation. Notice how there are TWO staples but only ONE mint??? Nice try OP, but we all see through your poor facade and know you’re actually a two mint-having bitch elitist!

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    • mp3@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Dammit, don’t tell HR…

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      • Snapz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Sorry, you meant damMINT

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    • ultratiem@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Wait 2 mints?!?! Well goddamn if that doesn’t change everything!!!

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    • Nacktmull@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      WTF? I never even got a single mint!

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      • thefartographer@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        F

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    • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Totally an AI-generated mint.

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  • 44razorsedge@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Reminds me of getting a note from HR admonishing me to pick out my 20th work anniversary “gift” from “pages 12 to 16” of the supplied catalogue. I knew nothing of it. They concluded with “or we’ll choose for you, i.e. a clock”. I got luggage tags. For 20 years of my life. The best years of my life. Luggage tags. FML.

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    • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “Please note: The cost of your choice of gift will be deducted from your next paycheck,”

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      • Cjwii@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You actually might very well end up paying taxes on it

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      • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Attention all Hudsucker employees. Attention all Hudsucker employees. We regretfully announce that at thirty seconds after the hour of noon, Hudsucker time, Waring Hudsucker, Founder, President, and Chairman of the Board of Hudsucker Industries, merged with the infinite. To mark this occasion of corporate loss, we ask that all employees observe a moment of silent contemplation. [moment of silence] Thank you for your kind attention. This moment has been duly-noted on your time cards and will be deducted from your pay. That is all.

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      • PixxlMan@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        There will be a $20 gift fee and an additional service and shipping fee. How much would you like to tip? 12, 16 or 20%?

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      • possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        $400 for luggage tags

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    • BirdyBoogleBop@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What was on pages 1 to 11 and who were they for?

      My old boss got a TV for 20 years and that was a shit company

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      • Nouveau_Burnswick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I got a transfer to a province with a language I didn’t speak for my 15th!

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    • skookumasfrig@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I got a digital camera that only took blurry pictures. This was Merrill Lynch in the 2000’s.

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    • altima_neo@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I got some driving glasses that broke when I held them the wrong way

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      • grayman@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Should have paired them with an OptiGrab,

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  • PlasmaDistortion@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    They are not even ashamed of doing this!

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    • themeatbridge@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      “What? It’s cute!”

      -some dipshit with an Agile certification

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      • Sneptaur@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Gonna get an agile certification to get such a position and then coach my team into a fucking union

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      • rockSlayer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        It would be cute if it was how the person was getting a 10% bonus on what they helped make the company

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      • NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Lmao

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      • iByteABit@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Always the Agile circlejerk certification

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  • KISSmyOS@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Great! This helps pay the rent for my apartmint.

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    • Nouveau_Burnswick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      What are the odds they’ve evaded taxes with the governmint?

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      • Mossheart@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The guvmint*

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    • mack7400@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      And that should be good for your mintal health!

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  • cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    thanks for making us six million here’s a lifesaver

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    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Six million more than expected

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  • tacosanonymous@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Thanks for making our shareholders money! Remember not to call in sick or ask for a raise and that unions take your money with no benefit!

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    • SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Got our bonusmints

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  • Snapz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    DisappointMINT

    DiscourageMINT

    Lack of commitMINT to fairly compensating your employees

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  • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Every month my boss tells us how big a profit we’re making. I think he thinks it’s morale building. I’m guessing everyone thinks the same thing I do- “then I should be paid better.” My Macbook Air, which I never took anywhere, was dying. I needed a new Mac for work. I suggested a Mac mini. They cost like $500. And I had to literally wait until my Macbook wouldn’t stay on for more than 20 minutes for them to pony up the $500. God I hate it. I’m on FMLA right now though, which gives me time to look elsewhere.

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    • uis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why mac?

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      • Dra@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Why would you even ask this question, its clear they use them already…

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      • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Because that’s the ecosystem we use for the designers where I work, I hate Windows and there is no way I would convince the IT guy to run Linux. I would have to run the Adobe software through a VM anyway and I couldn’t run our own software.

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    • Spellinbee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I used to do a lot work with the owner of my old company’s financial advisor. One time, he was sitting there complaining to me about how the owner had to pay like 1.5 million in income taxes that year. I’m like, bruh, cry me a fucking river.

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  • Gabu@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    There’s no way this is real - nobody would be that stupid, even in a management role, right?

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    • Chthonic@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      When I was at Costco, for Member Service Week they literally gave us a rock, like from the gravel outside the office, with the note: “You rock!”

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      • BigPapaE@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Your resignation letter should have just said “Now I’m about to roll”

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      • ShadowCatEXE@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I would rather not get anything than get a rock for recognizing my efforts.

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      • SeaJ@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        That sucks. Costco is usually decent to their employees. Feel free to make and shame the dumbass who thought that was a good idea.

        You could always light the boss’ garbage can on fire with a message saying “You’re on fire!”

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      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        How many of those broke a window you think?

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    • SomeoneElse@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I don’t know man, my sister in law just got made redundant while she and her family were on holiday. They rang her out of the blue while she was abroad to tell her. Who the fuck thinks that’s a good idea?! “Oh hey, you have no job now and just 4 weeks severance. But lemme ruin the last holiday you be able to afford for a long while by telling you now when there absolutely nothing you can do but worry about it”. Someone made that decision instead of waiting just 48 hours. Fuckers.

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      • SwallowsDick@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Isn’t it better she know as soon as the decision is made?

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    • foksmash@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You missed the opportunity to say “ManageMint”!

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  • whitepawn@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I assumed this was a nursing sub until I looked closer. Hospital management only does horrid shit like this for staff.

    These “rewards” are awful. My condolences.

    If you’re lucky though, maybe you’ll get a small rock with a “You Rock!” printout next time.

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    • Number1SummerJam@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The only place that rock should go is through your boss’s windshield

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      • FlyingSquid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        A friend of mine was working in a movie theater and he got a nickel raise after three years. He said he was going to save up all the nickels and put them in a sock to hit his boss over the head with.

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      • DarkenLM@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Or head.

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    • poppy@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I worked for a bank that did this shit. Gave us a packet of seeds and a note that said “Thanks for helping us GROW!”

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  • skullone@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Love that the staple pierces the mint’s wrapper, essentially contaminating it and rendering it potentially unsafe to eat. So you don’t even get that, lol.

    Time to find new employMINT.

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    • CrowAirbrush@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The corner is missing from the package, but slightly to the left the corner can be found underneath another staple.

      I almost thought they re-used the paper for the next guy

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  • dangblingus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    You forgot “seething resentmint”

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    • blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      The disillusionment makes me feel like I need to abandonmint.

      Where’s the CEO? I think he needs a disembowelmint.

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  • yiliu@informis.land ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I mean it seems outrageously greedy, but stop and think about it: if they’d paid for a pizza party, the banner would’ve had to read “Thanks for driving sales and beating plan by $5,999,727!!” And that’s just ugly.

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  • DeathWearsANecktie@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This is like in the UK when everyone clapped for the NHS workers, including the PM and other government ministers.

    But when they ask for a pay rise? Fuck off

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  • Xcf456@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I feel this will just breed resentmint

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  • SexyTimeSasquatch@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Pictured: the moment Bob decided it was time to form a fucking union.

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  • BorgDrone@lemmy.one ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Actually adding the amount of additional money you made them to the card is the cherry on top.

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    • AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s the worst part to me. There are some people who skew very positive and would just think “Aww, that’s sweet” without that, but who could fail to notice it when their nose is rubbed into it?

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My company gave everyone a 5% bonus just because we beat the forecasted numbers, but idk a mint looks fine too

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    • son_named_bort@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why not both?

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  • Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    An invitation to burn your place of employmint to the ground.

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  • SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Here is DisappointMINT

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  • scarabic@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I kind of don’t care what company / industry / whatever this was. If you surpassed sales targets by $6 million dollars, you have some cash for decent gifts. Hell a six pack of beer would be something… don’t print me out a goddamn insult. At the same time, knowing how sales compensation usually works, these folks probably got hella paid, weak gifts aside.

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    • WiseThat@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      No, you don’t understand, that profit is for shareholders and executives. They were the ones that bravely cut lunch breaks and asked the staff to work harder, and they deserve the fruits of the staff’s labour.

      All the employees did was produce 100% of the value, but that’s just theor job. Can’t go setting any precedents by rewarding them.

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    • mp3@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Give me the money, I’ll treat myself instead of giving me something I might not even want.

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  • jenniebuckley@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I broke my back to make a company’s CEO $6,000,000 and all I got was this stupid Polo mint

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    • viking@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      AND 2 used staples. Don’t you forget that.

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      • ObsidianZed@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I had to go back and look after your comment and it made me realize that the mint is already open and they stapled the torn off piece of the wrapper to it too.

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  • Vorticity@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I kept thinking “surely this was attached to something else and they didn’t just give a mint and a few stupid jokes”. Then I noticed another one of these stuck to a locker in the background. What pieces of trash. You don’t show appreciation by saying “You are appreciated”. You show appreciation by compensating your employees for their work.

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  • catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Your labor is worth 6 million dollars. How much of that do you get?

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    • Cheesus@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Their labor is worth 6 million more than they thought because it was exceeding plan not total sales

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  • Amazinghorse@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    That is worse than nothing. I got angry just reading this.

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  • HawlSera@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    If someone pulls this shit with me. I quit

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  • blazeknave@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This karma whoring. If you’re in a position to create $6m in revenue without variable comp, I don’t know WTF you do for a living. Your deserve a mint.

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  • GlendatheGayWitch@lib.lgbt ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Did you roll the Mint into the manager’s office with a note “looks like I’m rolling out of here!”

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  • JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Thanks boss. Have a quit mint.

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