I have an honest followup question to this meme (because I lived it): how long do you expect the girlfriend to stay?
At age 23 I was in a great relationship, we were in love, then I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I stopped being able to do physical things, I dropped out of school, I was bedridden. She went from being my girlfriend to being my nurse. She cared for me for a year, one long miserable year, then she left.
Is she at fault for leaving?
MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 16 hours ago
I work in a hospital (not a nurse or medical staff) and you’d be fucking appalled by how common this is.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Serious illnesses can be horrifying to watch someone go through and poverty routinely seperates loved ones.
Standing by someone in a terrible - perhaps terminal - condition is absolutely an incredible challenge and shouldn’t be dismissed as anything less than that.
A big reason you want to stand by your partner in perilous circumstances is because you want them to be there for you. And another big reason is because you might not get any more moments together than this, so make them last.
In a place like America, where sick days are a luxury and health care can still bankrupt you, being at someone’s bedside is a cross to bare. Be happy when you’re not carrying it. Don’t be so quick to judge when someone else can’t.
YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 15 hours ago
I literally was a caregiver for ten years (full time six of those years). My wife recently died. I was astonished by the number of people who told me to leave her. wtf is wrong with people. You don’t abandon people who are suffering.
codexarcanum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 hours ago
Yeah, I hate these stories for the amount of Big Ethical Talk it beings out in people. “I would stand by my partner no matter what” is the “I could fight a bear” of emotional labor. Unless you’ve had a serious illness or been very close to someone who has (not parents or siblings, a voluntary relationship), then you just really don’t know what you’re talking about.
MyDarkestTimeline01@ani.social 15 hours ago
Well as an argument I can agree with you. There is a lot to be said for “you don’t know until it happens”.
That being said, we aren’t discussing the broad strokes, we’re looking at this meme. And from context and wording shows not pragmatism, but self centered behavior(please note the intentional distinction between selfish behavior and self centered behavior).
red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 hours ago
Yeah, exactly. I don’t see this as black and white as it’s made out to be. Where’s the point in cancer or another serious disease ruining two lives? Sure, sometimes people leave for selfish reasons. But protecting yourself is not selfish, it’s essential for survival. If you stay and support a sick person, that makes you a good person. Leaving someone because you cannot handle dealing with the disease emotionally or financially doesn’t automatically make you a bad person.
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 11 hours ago
I think if someone had to take care of me like that in this world, I’d just off myself to be honest. I mean, I was already contemplating it some months ago, and seeing how my job stops me from doing anything, it’s on the table, obviously.
notsure@fedia.io 16 hours ago
...i am not excusing this, but it seems that animalistic behaviour tends to leave the sick and wounded behind, humans are still deciding whether to be animals or something more...
TeamAssimilation@infosec.pub 15 hours ago
I don’t think it’s instinct, but a calculated selfish decision. Will I profit from spending energy, time, and money in this person? If they die, it’s a net loss, so they bail.
Zephorah@discuss.online 15 hours ago
No, this is more common, or at least it’s more talked about, than 30 years ago.
Worse, if we can get some hard data on this, it may reinforce the trend that humans have way more stress than they should regarding unfiltered things. No, not stress, stress in general is normal. Capacity. They have no capacity, or willingness, to process through it, they’d rather run away and hide so they do that instead.
Similar to MurderBot diaries, in that MurderBot struggles with his human interactions, thinks eye contact is the absolute worst, and so, instead of using his own eyes to interact, he uses the eyes of his little drones to watch the humans in his life.
Faydaikin@beehaw.org 15 hours ago
Nah, we’re not even close to deciding anything. We just like to think we’re all that.