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Covers the bases

⁨354⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/0e77d6a2-fe26-4a66-96ac-fcfa62a5e2cc.webp

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Comments

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  • edgemaster72@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨minute⁩ ago

    Comments: Um actually most of these are muscle hunks

    Me: Um actually, Carmy Berzatto is a world class chef and restaurateur, not just a “line cook”

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨34⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    I’m losing weight, but still have a buncha flab. I was stretching on my hands and knees the other day and my stomach looked more like a cow’s udder 😫

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  • RandomStickman@fedia.io ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Why do guys think they have to be muscle hunks to be attractive?

    [Posts pictures of 5 muscle hunks]

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    • TessaRekt@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨36⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Maybe cause most archetypical examples people can think of are going to be from Hollywood and that pushes a muscled bodytype but the reason women are attracted to them is every reason but the bodytype. Look at the descriptors again, they are all based around the vibe.

      This whole thread is dudes missing the forest for the trees.

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      • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨25⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        But it is false. Women do prefer a muscled bodytype.

        Hell, men prefer looking at other men a muscled bodytype. It is scientifically proven that being conventionally attractive makes you more socially popular with basically everyone.

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    • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Elves, Pedro, maybe middle guy but hard to tell. Are you counting jack black?

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      • RandomStickman@fedia.io ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Everyone minus Jack Black and Joseph Quinn as Eddie Munson (intersection of line cook and elf prince only) is a hunk in my book. Jeremy Allen White can be argued either way, granted. But if people think the rest aren't hunks they have an unrealistic body standard imho.

        Especially putting Cavil as Geralt on a list of supposed "non-muscle hunks"? Nonsense.

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  • MammyWhammy@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    There is exactly one dude on that chart that doesn’t look like he regularly goes to the gym.

    There are several who have posed in muscle magazines shirtless.

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    • GiveOver@feddit.uk ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Is this the opposite version of “I prefer girls without makeup”?

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      • sukhmel@programming.dev ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Good catch, it seems like this is

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    • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Elven genetics are bullshit, I agree. Fucking OP immortal assholes.

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  • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I love everyone in the comments trying to argue what is the objectively best min-max strats of going to the gym and finding a partner, as if Pyramid Head, Bowser, and Shadow the Hedgehog aren’t always topping the “God I wish they were real” lists for women. Girls are just as horny as guys, they just don’t show it outside certain spaces due to societal constraints.

    Men, what I’m saying is: get into cosplay. Thank me later.

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    • rudyharrelson@lemmy.radio ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      as if Pyramid Head, Bowser, and Shadow the Hedgehog aren’t always topping the “God I wish they were real” lists for women.

      How you gonna do my boy Shrek dirty like that, not even including him in the top 3?

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      • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Can’t believe I forgot about the glorious green King of the Swamp. Forgive me.

        Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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    • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Women are not as horny as men.

      They’ve done studies. I think they worked out that men on average think about sex about 8 times as much as women on average.

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      • brambc@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        It’s not a fucking contest.

        Who’d win tho?

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      • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        men on average think about sex about 8 times as much as women

        Spontaneous thoughts of sex /= the entire spectrum of sexual desire.

        They’ve done studies.

        I’m not even gonna get into the sociological aspects of this, it’s a meme community.

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      • brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        You’ve missed the point. Women are just people, like you.

        Stop putting them on a pedestal or as a prize to win by being some weird ideal or generic “what women want.” Women may not be “as horny” but they do get horny and they all have different preferences. So just do interesting shit that you enjoy and your enthusiasm for whatever it is will help more than you could imagine.

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  • DahGangalang@infosec.pub ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Aren’t 3 of the 4 “Elf Princes” still known to be incredibly fit?

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    • Rothe@piefed.social ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Same with the “depressed middle-aged dads”.

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      • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        One of those dudes literally didn’t drink water for unhealthy periods of time in order to make his muscle definition stand out more on camera.

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      • DahGangalang@infosec.pub ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        To be fair, the 3/4 fit elves account for 2/4 middle age dads.

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  • rekabis@lemmy.ca ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Henry Cavill.

    Look at women’s reaction to him, and tell us we’re wrong for wanting to include physical stature into our personal goals.

    So okay, maybe a Schwartzenegger physique is too much. IMO, it always was. But Cavill has a moderately achievable physique that brings out the fangirls in droves.

    And there are plenty of other swole actors who do the same. Hugh Jackman, for one. Sam Worthington. Vin Diesel. And I could drop hundreds of names, here.

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    • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Henry Cavill. Look at women’s reaction to him, and tell us we’re wrong for wanting to include physical stature into our personal goals.

      Most women I personally know actually aren’t that attracted to Henry Cavill. It’s the dudes that think he’s the perfect specimen.

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      • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        If I talked about a woman the way I have heard women talk about Mr. Cavill, I would be chased out of public areas.

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    • Sidhean@piefed.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The point isn’t “a lot of women dont react to hot men” but “you do not need to be very physically strong-looking to get a girlfriend.”

      I’ve seen a person I found very attractive before, I’m sure. That doesn’t mean I’m only going to date that person.

      That being said, sure, being physically attractive makes you more attractive. No argument here or from the meme.

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    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What a great example!

      Guys think he’s hotter than women do.

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    • KuroiKaze@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I think you’re also missing the part where they have extremely handsome faces in addition to their bodies. Your totally regular looking face isn’t going to be all that hot on a ripped physique.

      Actually saw study recently where beyond a certain point. Every point you lose in BMI you also reduce your sexual partners. So yeah, being reasonably fit with a little bit of fat is generally the best build.

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      • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        I think they are talking about dating though. People will fuck a rotting slob of flesh, so long as it has a bag over it’s head.

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  • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Love the idea that twinks aren’t also muscle hunks. You think the male body just does that? Unless you’re genetically gifted or under 21, expect to put in a lot of gym hours, because if you wanna lose serious weight without gaining muscularture you’re in for a shitton of cardio and dieting.

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    • DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If you eat a lot of protein and keep carbs low it really helps. I’m on hormones and transfem and I’m still way stronger than most men even as I have lost a lot of mass in my arms and shoulders. A lot of strength is in your nervous system as well. Learning to move heavy stuff without pain or damaging your body sort of unlocks your nervous systems ability to use more muscle fiber at once. It’s trying to protect you but as you train and also love your body and treat it well, it learns to trust you more. Most people tell you to train hard but that is horrible advice in my opinion. You actually want to train and also learn to not damage your body at all, even a little, while you are doing physically hard things.

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      • oascany@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        This is why form is the most important thing when you’re working out. Everything else comes after. You have to stretch and learn good form. The cool thing about form is that it’s only something you’re learning for the first few months, after that you will naturally be good at finding the correct form in most new exercises because you understand the basics of what you’re doing.

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  • espurr@sopuli.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Why is markiplier in the middle

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    • espurr@sopuli.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Actually it makes so much sense

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  • Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Hey man, I’m just working out to make the little voice that tells me to kms shut the fuck up.

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    • ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Hell yeah bro, you show that voice who’s boss

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    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If you like metal Hatebreed has a lot of motivational songs, make you can find some new workout tracks.

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    • sigmaklimgrindset@sopuli.xyz ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s veeery hunky of you 😍

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  • salacious_coaster@infosec.pub ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Congrats to Markiplier for being the perfect guy apparently

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    • moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’m cis male and even I think he’s a hunk

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  • Smokeydope@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    When I was a teen some of the girls I knew had such big lady boners for the main cast of supernatural ad sherlock Holmes. I never understood why.

    Going by the Venn diagram, ive now come to the conclusion that theres something about homoerotic baiting between two grizzled depressed dad archetypestypes that really fires the neurons and gets the hormones going for some chicks.

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  • 4am@lemmy.zip ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    LOL I thought the middle was Keanu until I zoomed a bit and realized it’s Markiplier

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  • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Going and getting swole will still get you women but not because of your big muscles in most cases. The dedication and follow through needed for that demonstrates value. Other hobbies are the same way. Of course some women like huge muscled men or cars or d&d or guitars or whatever but the ability to be both interested in and interesting about something is more attractive than the results.

    You hit the gym everyday and you’ll get way more compliments from men than women. Same if you have some sweet car. It’s the effort to attain that super nice back and thick heavy lats that women respond to more so than the muscles themselves in most cases.

    Doing something is more interesting than doing nothing. Plenty of guys without hobbies or interests will still find mates but it’s harder to get someone to want to know you and get to the point where they love your interiority without some kind of interest. Touch grass, join like minded people for activities, enjoy yourself and the rest will follow.

    Tldr.
    Slay orcs, cook food, go into the glimmer on a military mission then return potentially infecting Natalie Portman and you too can be the middle guy (whoever that is)

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    • VoterFrog@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Of course, Demonstrating value is just the first step in the system. For the next, you need to Engage physically.

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      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        My initial draft included more of the Dennis system and a paragraph about heteronormativity and gender roles. I thought I had gotten all of it out

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      • TrickDacy@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        That’s all I could think of too 🤣

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    • anguo@piefed.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I don't think anyone in this picture played in Annihilation. The bottom picture is Pedro Pascal from The Last of Us

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      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Lol I confused him with Oscar Isaac. For whatever reason I associate them both with star wars.

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  • itkovian@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Well, I am just a depressed guy.

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    • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨10⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      People don’t actually like depressed people. That much is super obvious as a depressed person.

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    • Stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Same, my friend, same…

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  • StrongHorseWeakNeigh@piefed.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Markiplier is kind of a muscle hunk though

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    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Man is THE muscle hunk.

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  • tatterdemalion@programming.dev ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Jack Black really doesn’t fit the description.

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  • NABDad@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Well, I’m a depressed late-middle-aged father. I’m not a line cook, but I could probably work a grill in diner. I guess I should work out a bit to try to add muscle and cover everything.

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  • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If I lose the scruff, I could pass for elven, maybe. What’s a hat trick worth?

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    • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      According to this chart you may have to. All I see are moustaches. I think you should double down on the scruff and go for dwarven. Don’t be a victim of our predominantly elfonormative culture.

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    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Absolutely nothing if the don’t actually find you specifically attractive.

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      • Tuuktuuk@piefed.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Some people do.

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  • Default_Defect@anarchist.nexus ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    God, I can’t stand Joseph Quinn. Jeremy whatever is getting there too. Never understood why people think they’re so great in everything.

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  • Alph4d0g@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Sometimes muscles compensate for inadequate peepee in the mind of the person with such inadequacies. There’s also some compensation around inability to be social with other human beings.

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    • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And some people lash out at those who go to the gym because they feel inadequate.

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