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"And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?"

⁨534⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/834b50be-8133-4b6a-87be-e4877f86fdc1.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Your watch cost more than £100?”

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  • RagingRobot@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

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    • Spezi@feddit.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      What kind of dumbass would spend so little on a watch?

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  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Just smile non-genuinely and say “Sure.”

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  • OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “that’s a lot of money for such an ugly watch.”

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  • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you’ve already lost.

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  • Theprogressivist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    “Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”

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    • blinfabian@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      “What’s the difference? You’re their all-time bestseller!”

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      • Theprogressivist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        “Oh yeah?! Well… I slept with your wife!”

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  • MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    seems like a giant waste of money when you have phone that has the time on it.

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    • BearGun@ttrpg.network ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Not gonna argue that it’s not a waste of money to get a watch that expensive, but just having a watch is quite nice. Not having to fish my phone out of my pocket and click the power button every time i want to check the time is something i appreciate.

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      • Crashumbc@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        That’s why you have a personal assistant follow you around!

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  • Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You see this? This is called a “smart phone.” Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you’ve been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend’s phone number. He’s an accountant, and I think he’ll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

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    • 6nk06@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Not only will this tell me the time like your watch

      No. A cheap $100 phone is way more reliable than the most expensive Rolex thanks to NTP.

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    • JoMiran@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If you’re an astute collector, fine watches are (like art) a solid form of investment.

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      • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Prove me wrong: Fine art is a money laundering scheme.

        You get some guy who went to art school to slosh some house paint on a sheet. You then hire a white woman who dresses like Malian royalty to come describe it in contradictory adjectives “It’s subtle, yet bold” while her gay sidekick in a turtleneck flamboyantly slaps his face and gasps. Sell $20 worth of cotton and $30 worth of Valspar for $3.247 million, and you’ve just successfully covered up the sale of 94 more brown women.

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  • CherryBullets@lemmy.ca ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

    It infuriates them lol

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    • Valmond@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ghosting, I like it!

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  • oppy1984@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter, or just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?

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  • IndustryStandard@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “How fast does it do 0-60?”

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    • recklessengagement@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      About a minute

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      • EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        So it’s not even accurate? I’m not sure you got a quality timekeeping device for the cost.

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    • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It never gets to 60. For some odd reason it only gets to 59 and then drops back to zero.

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    • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      And then throw it.

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  • Clepsydrae@lemmy.world ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Look of confusion Does…does that make you happy?

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  • axh@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Does none to 60 in ONE minute! It’s garbage.

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    • FireIced@lemmy.super.ynh.fr ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You. You’re funny!

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    • Randelung@lemmy.world ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It time travels at one second per second and only forwards.

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  • Zenith@lemm.ee ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “Ok”

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    • pseudo@jlai.lu ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This.

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  • basxto@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I can read digital clocks faster.

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  • moopet@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    When I was at school, the kids would say, “my dad’s shed is bigger than your dad’s shed”. But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child’s view of the world. Most of us grew up.

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  • RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

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    • nailbar@sopuli.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Misses train. Yells at clouds.

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      • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Nice double entendre

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  • mastod0n@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Either dishonest affirmation or “That’s nice, buddy” and touch his shoulder.

    With people you might need later it’s the first option, the second if you want to piss off narcissists.

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  • BmeBenji@lemm.ee ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “What kinda mileage does it get?”

    “Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

    “Can you get me some more water?”

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    • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You just completely nerd sniped me, Ive speent the last 10 minutes trying to estimate the mpg of the tip of a minute hand on a wrist watch

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  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “I don’t get my happiness from material worth.”

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  • LavaPlanet@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Fool and his money.

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  • Zacryon@feddit.org ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Grabs machete
    Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

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  • EndOfLine@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “People with true value don’t need trinkets to convince others of their worth.”

    “Not everybody knows how to make the best use of their resources.”

    “Unless it has a button that stops time, you paid too much.”

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    • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      All of those likely would make you sound poor and mad to that kinda person. Not sure what you could actually say as a comeback that would work

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  • ThatKomputerKat@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My car has an analog clock face too.

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  • umbraroze@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    "I don't have the habit of looking at other people's watches. Thanks for pointing it out, I guess, I might have otherwise missed that detail entirely."

    (Biz-bro mind cannot comprehend this)

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  • Soleos@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    The statement is to set them apart from from you and to display power. So you could go with something like,

    “Shit, they still make you buy your uniform when you rich eh. Some things never change.”

    But more elegantly. Reassert that they are subject to others’ power/approval and relate to them to assert that they’re no different from you.

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  • pineapplelover@lemm.ee ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    See this casio watch? Still more accurate than whatever the fuck watch you have

    Image

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    • kungen@feddit.nu ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It even comes with the bonus of extra TSA screening!

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  • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Good for you, why should I care?

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  • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    “what?”

    “I’m sorry I didn’t catch that”

    “one more time?”

    “ok. thanks for letting me know.”

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  • ZeffSyde@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

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