I tried THIS and it actually works all the time
Submitted 2 months ago by Mickey7@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/fb5117d6-2780-4d6e-9cce-9a27583bc7b3.jpeg
Comments
Spezi@feddit.org 2 months ago
BearGun@ttrpg.network 2 months ago
That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af
jade52@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
I hope they ended up getting married.
Spezi@feddit.org 2 months ago
I heard they had a cheesy wedding
ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at
OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.
shani66@ani.social 2 months ago
What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for be significantly.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 2 months ago
A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.
Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you’ll receive in exchange.
And in case you’re wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.
SamB@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Let’s talk about some aged goat cheese directly from Tuscany.
Tungsten5@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate
stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Maybe you need to cry even harder?
lath@lemmy.world 2 months ago
So you’re saying there’s a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?
alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
Lets test that: 🧀
Are you a woman now?
lena@gregtech.eu 2 months ago
Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e
shani66@ani.social 2 months ago
… Maybe.
WereCat@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You’ve got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.
lath@lemmy.world 2 months ago
And here i was hoping any fascination is a woman cheesing it.
RidderSport@feddit.org 2 months ago
owenfromcanada@lemmy.world 2 months ago
You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.
Muaddib@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
White people love cheese
boonhet@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Do non-white people not love it?
gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant
My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn’t try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result
Muaddib@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turn into Mr Rogers
noxypaws@pawb.social 2 months ago
Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese
Etterra@discuss.online 2 months ago
This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.
notabot@lemm.ee 2 months ago
According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.
Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 2 months ago
Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.
mosiacmango@lemm.ee 2 months ago
Cheddar, swiss and parm tend to be very low lactose based on how they are made too.
Likely not low enough for someone with a bad allergy, but mostly fine for run of the mill lactose intolerance.
Whelks_chance@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river
maniclucky@lemmy.world 2 months ago
I love what appears to be a citation.
TheProtagonist@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).
HKPiax@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Cheese nuts
sirimeow@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Cheese is good
Geodad@lemm.ee 2 months ago
I’m not a woman, but that will work on me.
JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 2 months ago
i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and… wait this is sounding like something different entirely
Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 months ago
where are those candles winding up?
JudahBenHur@lemm.ee 2 months ago
yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading…
these “white magic” paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book’d tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your “spell” would go into the air or some crap)
that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like “for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat”
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there’s already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄
MissJinx@lemmy.world 2 months ago
As a woman I agree
Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Would you like a babybel?
Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
As a man I wanted to clarify that I am also easily fascinated by cheese
aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.
despicable@lemmy.today 2 months ago
That explains one of the companion side quests in Dragon Age: Veilguard haha, literally just had that cutscene
programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Oh boy, here I go throwing maidens to rivers
madjo@feddit.nl 2 months ago
This dude doesn’t like cheese, I’ll leave it all to women to eat.
Mrkawfee@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Smell my cheese!
vane@lemmy.world 2 months ago
It finally makes sense, Tom is a man and Jerry is a woman.
Ichmaldas@feddit.org 2 months ago
Image
Enkrod@feddit.org 2 months ago
Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩
SomGye@dormi.zone 2 months ago
I love this 👌
Quadhammer@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Shitty water colors younger cousin