I tried THIS and it actually works all the time

Comments

• Ichmaldas@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

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  • Enkrod@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩

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  • SomGye@dormi.zone ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I love this 👌

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  • Quadhammer@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Shitty water colors younger cousin

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• Spezi@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

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  • BearGun@ttrpg.network ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af

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  • jade52@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I hope they ended up getting married.

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    • Spezi@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      I heard they had a cheesy wedding

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• ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at

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• OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.

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• shani66@ani.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for be significantly.

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  • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.

    Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you’ll receive in exchange.

    And in case you’re wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.

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    • Sergio@slrpnk.net ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Source: experimental investigation.

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    • SamB@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Let’s talk about some aged goat cheese directly from Tuscany.

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• Tungsten5@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate

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  • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Maybe you need to cry even harder?

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• lath@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  So you’re saying there’s a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?

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  • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Lets test that: 🧀

    Are you a woman now?

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    • lena@gregtech.eu ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e

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    • shani66@ani.social ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      … Maybe.

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  • WereCat@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    You’ve got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.

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    • lath@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      And here i was hoping any fascination is a woman cheesing it.

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• RidderSport@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

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• owenfromcanada@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.

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• Muaddib@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  White people love cheese

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  • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Do non-white people not love it?

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    • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant

      My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn’t try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result

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    • Muaddib@sopuli.xyz ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turn into Mr Rogers

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  • noxypaws@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese

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• TheProtagonist@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).

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• Geodad@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I’m not a woman, but that will work on me.

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• Etterra@discuss.online ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.

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  • notabot@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.

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  • Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.

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    • mosiacmango@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      Cheddar, swiss and parm tend to be very low lactose based on how they are made too.

      Likely not low enough for someone with a bad allergy, but mostly fine for run of the mill lactose intolerance.

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• Whelks_chance@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river

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  • maniclucky@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    I love what appears to be a citation.

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• HKPiax@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Cheese nuts

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• sirimeow@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Cheese is good

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• JudahBenHur@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and… wait this is sounding like something different entirely

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  • Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    where are those candles winding up?

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    • JudahBenHur@lemm.ee ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading…

      these “white magic” paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book’d tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your “spell” would go into the air or some crap)

      that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like “for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat”

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• Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there’s already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄

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• MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  As a woman I agree

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  • Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Would you like a babybel?

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  • Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    As a man I wanted to clarify that I am also easily fascinated by cheese

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• aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.

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  • toxoplasma0gondii@feddit.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Might be the wrong kind then.

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    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

      My cheese wasn’t Gouda ‘nough?

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• despicable@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  That explains one of the companion side quests in Dragon Age: Veilguard haha, literally just had that cutscene

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• programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Oh boy, here I go throwing maidens to rivers

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• madjo@feddit.nl ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  This dude doesn’t like cheese, I’ll leave it all to women to eat.

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• Mrkawfee@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Smell my cheese!

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• vane@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  It finally makes sense, Tom is a man and Jerry is a woman.

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