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I tried THIS and it actually works all the time

⁨537⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Mickey7@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/fb5117d6-2780-4d6e-9cce-9a27583bc7b3.jpeg

source

Comments

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  • Ichmaldas@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Image

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    • Enkrod@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Die Welt braucht mehr von dir 🤩

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    • SomGye@dormi.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I love this 👌

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    • Quadhammer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Shitty water colors younger cousin

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  • Spezi@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Image

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    • BearGun@ttrpg.network ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      That’s a kingly gift right there, gotta be expensive af

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    • jade52@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I hope they ended up getting married.

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      • Spezi@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        I heard they had a cheesy wedding

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  • ragebutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    thank god you circled it, I wasn’t sure what was being pointed at

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  • OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    You may fascinate online audiences by showing them the same pic of cheese quote 9 billion times per week.

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  • shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    What kind of cheese? That changes the outcome for be significantly.

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    • musubibreakfast@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      A piece of brie get you a one night stand, a slice of gouda gets you a date. Grated parmesan gets you a hand job. A steady supply of varied cheeses spread out over multiple months will get you a wife.

      Of course every woman is different, but in general the age and quality of the cheese determines what you’ll receive in exchange.

      And in case you’re wondering, a kraft single gets you a slap in the face.

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      • Sergio@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Source: experimental investigation.

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      • SamB@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Let’s talk about some aged goat cheese directly from Tuscany.

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  • Tungsten5@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Duley noted. This may work better than my method of crying and begging for affection. So far, zero percent success rate

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    • stiephelando@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Maybe you need to cry even harder?

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  • lath@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    So you’re saying there’s a chance anyone fascinated with a piece of cheese might be a woman?

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    • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Lets test that: 🧀

      Are you a woman now?

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      • lena@gregtech.eu ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Who needs estrogen when you have c h e e s e

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      • shani66@ani.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        … Maybe.

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    • WereCat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      You’ve got it all wrong. Any woman with fascination might be a cheese.

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      • lath@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        And here i was hoping any fascination is a woman cheesing it.

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  • RidderSport@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Image

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  • owenfromcanada@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    You may fascinate just about anyone by giving them a piece of cheese.

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  • Muaddib@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    White people love cheese

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    • boonhet@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Do non-white people not love it?

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      • gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        On average non-whites are like 60-90% lactose intolerant

        My pasty-ass ancestors are the dipshits who figured out sucking cow titty can work, most of the rest of humanity didn’t try it and never developed the genes needed for it as a result

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      • Muaddib@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        They do. But you give the meanest white man a piece of cheese, he turn into Mr Rogers

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    • noxypaws@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Grandad, you can’t tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese

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  • Etterra@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    This spell has mixed results with my fiance; she LOVES cheese but is horribly allergic to it. Not life-threatening, but painfully bad.

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    • notabot@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      According to the book, there’s no need for them to eat it, you just have to give it to them, although I think they may have mixed up ‘fascinate’ and ‘confuse’.

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    • Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Is she allergic to it because of the lactose? We can already make vegan cheese that’s the exact same as real cheese (literally, I don’t mean it just tastes the same) except that it doesn’t contain lactose. There’s a company in Europe that’s ready to mass produce it but the EU is taking their time with giving them the permit to sell it. I don’t know how the situation is where you live.

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      • mosiacmango@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        Cheddar, swiss and parm tend to be very low lactose based on how they are made too.

        Likely not low enough for someone with a bad allergy, but mostly fine for run of the mill lactose intolerance.

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  • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I love the ambiguity of what you’re supposed to throw in the river

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    • maniclucky@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I love what appears to be a citation.

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  • TheProtagonist@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Fun fact: I almost lost a GF once, due to a lack of cheese (in my refrigerator).

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  • HKPiax@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Cheese nuts

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  • sirimeow@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Cheese is good

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  • Geodad@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I’m not a woman, but that will work on me.

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  • JudahBenHur@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    i had this book when I was an edgy teenager in my middle class bedroom rubbing olive oil on taper candles from the grocery store and… wait this is sounding like something different entirely

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    • Mickey7@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      where are those candles winding up?

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      • JudahBenHur@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        yeah i know it dawned on me quite quickly where it sounded like that was heading…

        these “white magic” paperback books from Borders would have you anoint candles with oil to like, I dont fuckin know, endow them with your intention (Id wish the girl in algebra would notice me, so the book’d tell you to think about her while putting oil on a pink candle so when you burn it your “spell” would go into the air or some crap)

        that particular book there though was page after page like that where it said shit like “for protection from your enemies wrap some wire around leaf and put it under your doormat”

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  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I love that the one about hurling hair accessories at moving bodies of water has a footnote and that there’s already been 12 other such clarifications in this treatise 😄

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  • MissJinx@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    As a woman I agree

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    • Apocalypteroid@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Would you like a babybel?

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    • Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      As a man I wanted to clarify that I am also easily fascinated by cheese

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  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Fascinate in the sense that she’ll spend the next five minutes confused as to why you gave her cheese.

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    • toxoplasma0gondii@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Might be the wrong kind then.

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      • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

        My cheese wasn’t Gouda ‘nough?

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  • despicable@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    That explains one of the companion side quests in Dragon Age: Veilguard haha, literally just had that cutscene

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  • programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Oh boy, here I go throwing maidens to rivers

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  • madjo@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    This dude doesn’t like cheese, I’ll leave it all to women to eat.

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  • Mrkawfee@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Smell my cheese!

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  • vane@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    It finally makes sense, Tom is a man and Jerry is a woman.

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