Minus: can’t eat garlic.
Anon wants to be a vampire
Submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/25a81aec-c1ed-4cd8-9d7e-67eb3b954aad.jpeg
Comments
Jolteon@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
The_Helmet_Stays_On@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
Well fuck
ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 10 months ago
also: can’t spill rice.
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
You can, it’s just awful time consuming
bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Man if I can’t have Caesar salad you might as well just drive a stake into my heart now.
oxideseven@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Substitute with the much superior shalot. Reign supreme into eternity.
ObsidianZed@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I mean, you probably can, once.
VubDapple@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Jokes on you Anon! If everyone is a vampire then who’s blood do you suck?
SpacePirate@lemmy.ml 10 months ago
You farm the remaining humans like livestock? We mastered factory farming 100 years ago, no reason things need to change just because the animals can talk back.
bizarroland@fedia.io 10 months ago
Okay but among those people who choose to remain human, how many of us would be okay with donating blood every two weeks in exchange for food and rent?
Think about it. If the vampires have all the power, why would they kill their food source when the longer they let their food source live the more food they get out of it?
Let us tra-la-la and have happy-go-lucky existences, which will probably make our blood taste better to them, and they can spend their eternities competing for resources or whatever makes a vampire happy after the first 500 years.
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Fun fact, human blood can be vegan, as long as the human is consenting
Etterra@lemmy.world 10 months ago
This was part of the plots in the movies Blade & Blade 2.
The problem becomes apparent in this film: m.imdb.com/title/tt0433362/
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 10 months ago
We mastered factory farming 100 years ago
Speak for yourself! I haven’t even begun practicing yet!
Etterra@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’m still salty that PETA stole their web domain from People Eating Tasty Animals.
slaacaa@lemmy.world 10 months ago
He would quickly become pro-immigration
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Or a bunch of redneck vampires invade Mexico
Triasha@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Anon has not considered the consequences of an entire nation of hungry vampires devoid of humans.
Swemg@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Well we have cows, might as well have human farms. Maybe genetically modified human with pockets of blood on their belly
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Delicious, juicy blood pockets.
licheas@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
what? so you have to bend over? naw. put that blood pocket on their neck like nature intended.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
I too watched the blade movies
Etterra@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I think Anon needs to retake middle school biology. You see there’s this thing called the predator/prey relationship and if the predators outnumber the prey, things are gonna get real dire REAL fast. Like this:
nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 10 months ago
Yeah this is always the best thing when reading things like that; at the end of eternity we’ll be left with an immense amount of shrivelled, dusty and extremely hangry immortals.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I was in a band called Extremely Hangry Immortals.
We mostly played industrial horrorcore and metal covers of food commercial jingles.
Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
I wonder who sleep is better for
Prey or predator?
quantumfoam@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Wasnt there a movie about this where almost everyone was basically a vampire, and started running out of humans and human blood to eat?
Mrderisant@midwest.social 10 months ago
I think it was Daybreakers
ICastFist@programming.dev 10 months ago
If I’m not mistaken, it’s also the source of that meme of William Dafoe looking up
janus2@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
the most excellent-premise-crappy-execution movie i’ve ever seen
nikaaa@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Vampire here.
I don’t drink blood (because that’s disgusting, and also crual and unfair), I drink vaginal juices.
AMA
Akasazh@feddit.nl 10 months ago
Hoe many liters do you need on an average day?
Do you avoid or embrace periods?
That’s all
nikaaa@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I don’t need much. Some abilities I can only use using blood (so called blood magic); Such as permanent changes to society; But for everyday life I can completely avoid using blood.
As for the periods, I don’t really care. I usually avoid them, but only because my girlfriend wants me to. I seek for social compatibility.
paultimate14@lemmy.world 10 months ago
OP really thinks vampires aren’t gay?
Zozano@lemy.lol 10 months ago
OP really thinks The Gay isn’t transmissible.
I’ve been to a few blood chasing parties, and let me tell you, I’ve seen straight men dying to suck other straight men after being bitten.
SomeGuy69@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Congratulations, you’re ageless, will never retire and you have to do a lot of manual labor, as it’s cheaper than a machine, if you convert a country. If only a few are converted, others will want to hunt you down and put you on a shelve as trophy.
shani66@ani.social 10 months ago
If i live forever infinite work can be contrasted against infinite leisure. If I’m being hunted that would give me the immediate motivation to live life harder than any mortal.
DarkSpectrum@lemmy.world 10 months ago
OP: Killing people isn’t a con
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Idk about this specific mask caused vampirism but depending on the type of vampirism you might not fully kill the person.
Just drain like a liter and move on. The person would feel no different than if they had blood drawn.
Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Another con is that vampires are even more immortal than they appear. Even if the vampire’s body is completely destroyed, their soul will wander through the universe, unable to affect anything, but still conscious. They can’t even communicate with other vampires in that state. They’ll get to see universe die starting 10 to the power of 16 years from now (end of star formation) until it’s finally dead at 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 120, when universe reaches its final energy state. But at least a new universe will start at 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 10 to the power of 56. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_far_future)
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Where does that lore come from? I thought they literally gave up their soul to the devil, or whatever evil thing rules hell, to have physical immortality?
ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 10 months ago
they don’t have a soul. only living humans have a soul.
Wooki@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Expanding universe theory says it’s just guna expand infinitum and fade out to nothingness. forever
shani66@ani.social 10 months ago
Not a scientist, but that kinda relies on the big bang having infinite energy, which is probably impossible. Eventually gravity will pull everything back together.
Arbiter@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Anon might be Dio
Omega_Man@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Can vampires sustain themselves on alien blood? Just imagining a brood of vampires conquering Earth and then setting their eyes to the galaxy. Like they have vampire scientists who find ways to let them enter sunlight and enjoy Italian food once more.
licheas@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
probably depends on their chirality. (specifically, IIRC, sugars. sugars that twist the wrong way are useless)
Omega_Man@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Then just twist them the right way… Duh
nifty@lemmy.world 10 months ago
People suggesting you’d have to kill for blood haven’t seen true blood. IIRC the vampires in that book/show found a way to coexist with humans because human nations created artificial blood (that you could buy like soda at a convenience store etc)
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Or bunnicula who drinks the juices of vegetables
Or Adventure Time where vampires can just eat red
RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
In JoJo?
I don’t remember this happening
nifty@lemmy.world 10 months ago
No, true blood, it was on HBO
Maeve@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Before much longer, no one will be able to go out in daylight.
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 10 months ago
Can vampires sustain themselves on other vampires blood?
Tuxman@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
In Vampire: The Masquerade, it’s considered one of the most taboo act as you literally take in the life force and soul of that other vampire.
But it’s an alluring concept as it can make the aggressor more powerful (at the cost of some humanity… it’s cannibalism after all) AND the victim vampire is utterly destroyed (so one of the permanent ways to take out an adversary)
binomialchicken@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Some anime probably has that as a plot line, where super vampires only feed from regular vampires
JokeDeity@lemm.ee 10 months ago
I went down a little rabbit hole a few weeks ago looking at different animes to potentially watch and came to the conclusion it’s the closest thing to infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters. Anything you can imagine, there’s an anime plot of it.
AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 10 months ago
For more about how an empire of vampires would turn out, read “Empire of the Vampire”
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Devastating they didn’t go with “Vampire Empire”
shalafi@lemmy.world 10 months ago
boatsnhos931@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Real quick question…Why are you thinking about biting black men right off the bat… You know porn stars, nurses, recruiters, etc all have blood as well?
Lyre@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
People have more or less completely forgotten that vampires are meant to represent the monstrosity of an unchecked aristocracy/wealthy upper class. They sold their souls for power and now live exclusively by feeding off those beneath them. You don’t just ‘become’ a vampire like you don’t just ‘become’ rich. You can certainly become enthralled to a vampire though
Aux@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That was never the case. Traditional folk tales about vampires were a way to understand corpse decomposition. The narrative changed in 1819.
scholar@lemmy.world 10 months ago
“That was never the case.” “That then became the case.”
commie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
which anthropologist are you relying on for this analysis?
Zozano@lemy.lol 10 months ago
I never actually realised this. Now I’m going to be thinking about every depiction of vampires I’ve been exposed to, for the rest of the day.